# I have a problem with alcohol...please help



## brighterisbetter (Jul 3, 2010)

*I have a problem with alcohol **Progress Update** *

Ok for the first time in I don't know how long, I've finally admitted I have a problem with alcohol and comsumption. My family, my closest relatives at least, tell me I should seek help in the form of counseling. I'm finally ready to accept that fact, finally after a long battle with my genes. I know that's not a legitimate excuse no matter what I say but here I am expressing my problem to CPF nonetheless, and I'm seeking help from my CPF brethren anyway. If anybody has any suggestions as to handle alcohol in moderation, please advise me. I'm not quite ready for the counseling step but in the future who knows. I just need a helping hand. Here I am with a sibling visit and I'm pissed off, not wanting to talk to anybody but I'm on CPF wanting a counseling session. How pathetic is that?

***PROGRESS UPDATE** Post #48 https://www.candlepowerforums.com/posts/3568356&postcount=48
*


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## csshih (Jul 3, 2010)

Bruce,
It's not pathetic, you just want advice from a big group of friends that you've known for a pretty long time (and we can be very understanding), and we are here to help! I'm sorry I don't have any meaningful advice to give you, but I sincerely hope you'll get this issue of yours fixed! 

Now, on the silly side.. every time you reach for that bottle, think of it as a possibility you're going to lose a light when disoriented.. that's a scary thought! 

Good Luck!


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## sfca (Jul 3, 2010)

*AA *is your friend. If you've got a branch near you that's the best way to start.
It's not counseling; you're with people just like you, with the same problem as you, and you're accepted not blacklisted for your "problem". How bad could it be?

*First*, why don't you sit down in a nice, quiet place and contemplate, ruminate about your reasons for drinking. _ Write it down_ - this is a must.

*Meditation *is a good way to go. If the reason for drinking is the past or an unbearable present (whether it'd be in the form of bad job, or anxiety, etc), or fear of the future: meditation will help greatly. 
*It's about being here in the now,* not thinking or wanting _something else_. Acceptance of the only moment we ever have - *this moment* is the way to happiness, fulfillment, contentment, all we desire.

It may be hard to grasp at first - _but all suffering is self-created_. Knowing this, how do we drop it? I think the saying goes, how do you drop a hot piece of coal? You just drop it!

Go buy (buying is a commitment to read) *The Power of Now*. Simple, easy to read book. This is a book I'd recommend to everyone.
Any spiritual or self-help book, _the simpler it is the more it fulfills it's intentions._ I used to scoff at those who read books like these, man am I lucky I gave it a chance. Great, great read. 
He explains Buddhist and Taoist ideas in a way that's easy to understand and certainly palatable to a Christian audience.


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## sfca (Jul 3, 2010)

Oh one other thing. Don't make this into a problem. Think of it as something you'd like to change about yourself.

Like someone with an interest in art would take Art classes, or one interest in self-discipline would take martial arts, you want a new lifestyle free of alcohol - and you're putting feelers out for solutions. 

Making it into a problem may turn into resistance. Don't resist, just accept and pay attention only to the step you are taking at this time.


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## sigsour (Jul 3, 2010)

I have had a drinking problem for over 10 years now and you know what I did....I prayed. I don't want to sound like a preacher but once I recognized that I had a problem that is what I did. I have lost all desire to drink and I feel fifty times better. Now I need to pray real hard to loose weight. 
The hardest part is recognizing that you have a problem now; find support either through friends, your church, or through AA. I will pray that you can conquer this.


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## smfranke (Jul 3, 2010)

It's ok to put some of the blame on your genes. Seriously.

The only advice I can give is to not drink at all. Forget moderation. Don't have any. Don't buy any & don't keep any in the house.

Good luck,
Shawn


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## was.lost.but.now.found (Jul 3, 2010)

brighterisbetter said:


> If anybody has any suggestions as to handle alcohol in moderation, please advise me.


 
I'm not aware that this is possible. If you are truly an alcoholic then you have formed an addiction to alcohol. There is no moderation of an addiction. I was addicted to cigarettes and I can never again smoke cigarettes, cigars, or chew tobacco again. It's simply the way it is. Once you are ready to give it up forever then you are ready, and only you can make that happen. I truly wish you the best in your recovery.


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## bjs55 (Jul 3, 2010)

the 12 steps have helped alot of people


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## sfca (Jul 3, 2010)

sigsour said:


> I have had a drinking problem for over 10 years now and you know what I did....I prayed. I don't want to sound like a preacher but once I recognized that I had a problem that is what I did. I have lost all desire to drink and I feel fifty times better. Now I need to pray real hard to loose weight.
> The hardest part is recognizing that you have a problem now; find support either through friends, your church, or through AA. I will pray that you can conquer this.



Prayer  of course. How did I forget about that?


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## BatteryCharger (Jul 3, 2010)

smfranke said:


> It's ok to put some of the blame on your genes. Seriously.
> 
> The only advice I can give is to not drink at all. Forget moderation. Don't have any. Don't buy any & don't keep any in the house.
> 
> ...



I have to agree with this. My grandpa was an alcoholic, my dad was an alcoholic, and the rest of my family is, well, irish or german....as such I have a tendency to soak up alcohol as well.

For me, "moderation" just doesn't happen. I either drink or I don't drink. I have to tell myself "no, not tonight" all too often. When I start drinking, one is not good enough...two makes me feel a little better...three and things are starting to get fun....four....now I'm tired and my buzz is starting to wear off...better chug another 2....I have another beer left...no reason to leave just one right....might as well finish that off too. 

I don't think it's a bad thing to get drunk every once in a while, as long as you're responsible about it, but I had to stop. When the lady at the grocery store stops carding you, because she know's you're there every day to buy beer, that's when you have to sit down and think about how much you're consuming...


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## entoptics (Jul 4, 2010)

Start drinking later in the day. If you normally have a beer at 5PM wait until 8PM.

Alcohol is truly physically addictive, so cold turkey is brutal as with any other substance. If you can back down a few notches over a few weeks, cold turkey will be much easier.

This may not be politically correct advice, but perhaps never drinking again isn't good for anyone either. Ideally, you should try to learn the self control necessary to only drink when it's worth it, and trim away all those drinks that are "killing time" or "nothing better to do right now".

As an aside, Penn and Teller suggest that AA is no better than going it alone, and maybe worse. I haven't rigorously fact checked, but the scientific and statistical evidence that AA is effective is pretty scarce. Anecdotal evidence abounds of course.

Keep in mind though, this is coming from someone who can't take his own advice.

Good Luck. :thumbsup:


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## get-lit (Jul 4, 2010)

Maybe I have something to offer here. I believe that if you stopped drinking, you would be surprised how people around you begin to see you differently and start to have whole new respect for you - not because you don't drink, but because of the positive but subtle side effects in yourself from not drinking.

A best friend of mine is a bartender and he always drank a lot. He just got his 3rd DWI and he can't drive. I drive him to work sometimes, and also to alcohol counseling. This past six months is the first time I've not seen him drink. I've seen a whole different person grow out of these six months of not drinking. Now he's more involved with people on a deeper level than just the night life. He's much easier to relate to and more engaging to talk to. Essentially, he's become a more interesting individual from the point of view of the people around him. Now there's a reciprocal positive dynamic among him and the people around him.

He always knew drinking was a problem for him, and he always freely admitted it. He just liked it way too much, but now that he hasn't drank in so long, he likes other things just as well, and he doesn't care to drink anymore. He's become more engaged in his other interests and hobbies, and even his responsibilities, and now it's all more rewarding for him than drinking. He doesn't have any reserve in telling anyone about counseling, because he sees it as such a positive thing after a few decades of drinking it up all of the time.

Once you admit it's a problem, and you can't quit on your own, there's no shame in getting a bit of help. Whatever it takes is worth the real benefits, no matter how eventual they are - they are definitely worth it. Forget about worrying about things like your pride in getting a bit of help. It takes a much stronger person to reach for a bit of help than to do nothing.

It's all about the rewards of drinking versus not drinking. When drinking, you become blind to the rewards of other things in life. Therefore, the more you drink, the more that the rewards of other things in life are overshadowed, until eventually there is no desire to stop drinking. The rewards of those other things are always there, you just have to stop drinking to see them. Once you see can see things from the other side of the bottle, the rewards of other things will surprise you. Kind of like that feeling of when you get over the flu. It just feels really good.

Beyond that, look around at what's going on in the world lately. That should be a wake up call. Definitely don't want to have your head in the clouds with the bottle. Gotta buck up and get on your game brother.


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## cgonko (Jul 4, 2010)

You have already completed the most difficult step: honesty with yourself and others. I don't know you, but know that so many are beside you now.


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## Rexlion (Jul 4, 2010)

Getting together with some people who have been (or still are) where you are, and talking, is a great help. And having the advice of folks who have helped many, many people in that situation is priceless. The group support to cheer you on and provide a little "peer pressure" incentive is great, too. This isn't something to tackle alone; why do that when such great resources are available to you? I'm talking about AA. It will do all of the above and more. 

They aren't there to condescend or judge. They're there to "have your back" and help you. Please, please go see them. You won't regret it.

My dear old Uncle Clarence had the same issue as you. He joined AA and it helped him immensely. He always felt the group was invaluable to him.

I think you want to forget about trying to drink "in moderation". When I was a teen my dad would always tell me that if I drank alcohol because I liked the flavor, I didn't need more than one or at very most two; but if I drank it because of how it made me feel, I was drinking for the wrong reason and I already had a problem. So as a practical matter I avoided having more than one drink; at two drinks I could start to feel a bit lightheaded (never built up any tolerance from exposure to it, as you can see). That became my measuring stick, and I've passed the same advice on to my kids.

It takes more courage to change than to do anything else in life. You have taken a big step and admitted some of the truth to yourself. I believe you have a desire to change, and I believe you can do it. But it's sooo much easier to do it with support from others than to do it alone. So please check out AA, ok? They have way more experience at this than flashaholic friends! Although we're glad to do what we can, too.


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## Flashlight Aficionado (Jul 4, 2010)

There are some really good posts here with great advice. I have only a small thing to add that was hinted at.

Do not PERMANENTLY join any AA type places. The reason is, it is a constant reminder that alcohol exists and you can't have it. Go there for moral support to stop drinking. Find hobbies and things to do. Replace AA with the hobbies/activities. You will then forget that alcohol exists. And the few reminders will be easy to let fade into the background.

EDIT: This is after you have successfully stopped drinking. It doesn't work while trying to quit. :END EDIT
If you ever have to have a drink, buy an expensive single bottle. Tell your family you want to share a very special drink with them. You only have one glass. You have to drink it very slowly and enjoy every drop. No gulping or sipping while listening to others.

I do this for food. I am not fat, but I had a close call, 20 lbs overweight. I try to ignore my cravings, which usually works. (I have hobbies/activities) But when it doesn't, I give in on purpose. So I did not fail, I just let myself enjoy a slice of life. I make sure I enjoy every bite like it is my last. By doing that, it is like eating a weeks worth of crap. I end up quite satisfied with almost no cravings afterwords. 

Good luck! I know you can beat this.


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## 737mech (Jul 4, 2010)

My habits sound like they used to be a lot like yours. I have undergone out patient re-hab, and attended many AA meetings. I had a hard time accepting the fact I was an alcoholic. I mean cmon, I didn't have to drink to make it through the day or stash bottles all over the house to sneak drinks. My problem was that when I drank (usually at least 2-3 times a week) I would drink WAY to much. What would start as "I am only gonna have one or two beers" usually ended up in a night long binge of beer and shots and tons of cigaretes. For me its all or none. Meaning I can't control my drinking at all once I start so moderating my habit was not an option. I had to quit completely. I don't currently attend AA because thats just not for me. In the 2 years I was in the program I did learn a lot and it definately helped me get to my sober point now. Quitting drinking completely was hard. the hardest thing ever because I was so used to having a beer or toddy at any occaision like a family BBQ, going out to dinner, or watching the game on Sunday. It was hard but I was determined and now I couldn't be happier. I have decided my life and health is way better without alcohol. You will find out who your real friends are thats for sure. One suggestion I will make is at first don't put yourself in situations where everyone is drinking. Peer pressure can be a real *****. If I can do it you can do it!


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## BatteryCharger (Jul 4, 2010)

One of the things you need to do is sit down and think "why am I drinking right now?"

Is it because you're bored? Because you're sad? Because you're pissed off? Are you "partying"?

You have to fix the reason why you're drinking. Find something else to do. Let's face it, being an alcoholic is simply an expensive hobby. Find a different expensive hobby, start spending your beer money there. It will probably be more enjoyable, and you won't wake up with a hangover.

Personally, part of me finding something else to do besides drinking is why I've been spending a lot more time here lately. This is really a good group of people. And all you weirdo's are making me spend my beer money on LEDs and batteries! 

Don't let anyone fool you, it's not easy. But do you really want a liquid bossing you around, taking your money, and making you fat?


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## BatteryCharger (Jul 4, 2010)

Another point worth making, there are medications available to help reduce your cravings for alcohol. I was on something a few years ago, I forget the name, but it is something that is given to alcoholics. That's not why I was using it, but, I did notice right away that my cravings to drink were much, much less. I noticed this before I went online and read about the drug and found out that it is also prescribed to alcoholics...

Even a temporary prescription for an anti anxiety drug can help when you really really want a drink but know you shouldn't.


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## Mike Painter (Jul 4, 2010)

brighterisbetter said:


> Ok for the first time in I don't know how long, I've finally admitted I have a problem with alcohol and comsumption. My family, my closest relatives at least, tell me I should seek help in the form of counseling. I'm finally ready to accept that fact, finally after a long battle with my genes. I know that's not a legitimate excuse no matter what I say but here I am expressing my problem to CPF nonetheless, and I'm seeking help from my CPF brethren anyway. If anybody has any suggestions as to handle alcohol in moderation, please advise me. I'm not quite ready for the counseling step but in the future who knows. I just need a helping hand. Here I am with a sibling visit and I'm pissed off, not wanting to talk to anybody but I'm on CPF wanting a counseling session. How pathetic is that?



If you are an alcoholic there is no moderation.
There is no "some day I'll just stop."
There are no drugs.

If you are a typical one there is no rehab program. You will tell them what you want to hear and get out early.

I have a lot of friends who are alcoholic, but have been dry for years or decades.
They give AA the credit.

After a few years with a friend of mine I see the absolute value of a 12 step program and why those steps are there.
You need to find somebody who will not listen to your bullshit reasons why you started again, or why you haven't stopped.

His is that it is a religious operation and as they will tell you that is BS. You must admit to a higher power but it can be the pet rock you got as a kid.

Be sure and get your liver checked often. There is a point beyond which nothing can save you and you will not be eligible for a transplant. If you are told l you have a year it will be right on the money and the last few months will be hell for you and yours.


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## Monocrom (Jul 4, 2010)

brighterisbetter said:


> Ok for the first time in I don't know how long, I've finally admitted I have a problem with alcohol and comsumption. My family, my closest relatives at least, tell me I should seek help in the form of counseling. I'm finally ready to accept that fact, finally after a long battle with my genes. I know that's not a legitimate excuse no matter what I say but here I am expressing my problem to CPF nonetheless, and I'm seeking help from my CPF brethren anyway. *If anybody has any suggestions as to handle alcohol in moderation, please advise me.* I'm not quite ready for the counseling step but in the future who knows. I just need a helping hand. Here I am with a sibling visit and I'm pissed off, not wanting to talk to anybody but I'm on CPF wanting a counseling session. How pathetic is that?


 
I know what I'm about to post is not going to go over well, but . . . 

Okay, if you recognize that you have a genuine problem; there's no method that allows you to drink in moderation. There just isn't one. I know it's an extreme example, but you don't see a person using crack in moderation. The only time you see a crackhead doing just a bit of crack is when he's really low on funds and hasn't had a chance to hustle or steal to feed his addiction. 

An addiction doesn't just mean having a strong craving for something. It goes beyond that. Your brain gets to the point where it convinces itself and your body that you truly need what you're addicted to. Just like you need food, water, oxygen, etc. 

It becomes a genuine need. Those who have been successful in getting help for their alcohol problems, they know that they can never take another drink for the rest of their lives. Not if they want to stay sober. While their addiction is no longer a need, traces of that need will always stay with them. If they take even one drink, it can trigger a relapse.

One of the most unfortunate examples is that of a young woman who was horribly addicted to heroin. She shot up for years. She wanted to get clean. With the help of her family, she did. And she was clean for over 5 years. Was doing well. Had a very good job in a bank. Hard worker. Liked and respected by all her co-workers. One day, she had to go for a physical as part of her job-requirement. After the appointment, she disappeared for a few days. When she finally called her mom, she said that when the doctor stuck that needle in her arm; that was it. It triggered her addiction all over again. She went out, and started using. By the time the cops tracked her down, she overdosed.

If you're truly addicted, you honestly can't indulge in moderation.


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## tygger (Jul 4, 2010)

In reference to some posts, its helpful not to confuse cigarettes/nicotine with alcohol. IIRC nicotine is more addictive than heroin and has a completely different effect on the brain. To the OP. If you still wish to consume alcohol, try switching to the lightest beer you can find. I think the alcohol content is somewhere around 2.5% for most light beers. It may satisfy the urge to be consuming something but is weak enough that you probably won't be getting smashed. If I'm at a bar/party and either don't feel like drinking or I'm the designated driver, I just grab a light beer and nurse it. Also, like the old adage goes, don't drink on an empty stomach. One last thing. If its anxiety or stress thats causing you to drink, find out where its coming from and see if you can get to the root of the issue. Please understand I'm not in any way encouraging anyone to drink or giving any type of addiciton advice. Just responding to the OP's request for tips on moderation.


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## LowBat (Jul 4, 2010)

smfranke said:


> Don't buy any & don't keep any in the house.


That's what I would do. Anything I had remaining would be consumed slowly until it was gone. That way it's not sudden cold turkey and I could sort of ease myself off. While doing so I might look at what else I could drink that's not alcoholic. I would avoid liquor stores and bars and any place where there's too much temptation. The occasional glass of wine when dining out with family is about all I would indulge in. I would also tell my family my plan.

I don't know how much of a problem you're having with alcohol. If it's minor the above may work for you.

I used to drink a lot at weekend poker games. We all did. One of us puking up a meal wasn't uncommon. The hangovers were so bad for me that I finally cut way way back on the alcohol. That was the key for me... getting sick. As an added benefit I got way better at poker.

That's another habit (gambling) I cured by getting sick. That same bunch of poker friends and I went for a three day trip to Reno. Instead of checking out the shows like planned, we ended up spending every waking hour playing blackjack. I was betting big and winning big the first day. Day two and three I was cautious and gradually lost it all through attrition. Those two nights of trying to sleep were constant images of cards turning over and over accompanied by a throbbing headache. My final win on the last day left me with just enough money for gas to drive home, and that's what I did. That was 1988 and I've hardly gambled since. I simply have no interest.


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## dom (Jul 4, 2010)

Hi Bud
What sort of drinking habit do you have?

Stay up all night drinking by yourself?
Drink at work or before you go to work?
Drink till you drop or black out?

If any of these are familiar then there ain't any moderation that can be recommended - sorry.
(this is from a person with years of experience BTW)

Cheers
Dom


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## Robocop (Jul 4, 2010)

I have never drank however I see many people daily who do.....often these people are in the back of my patrol car and have done something to get them jailed. I will often try to help them however honestly no one can repair a problem in 5 minutes that took years to create.

The single most common problem I see with true alcoholics is that they always place themelves in a situation they believe they can control. Some may not drink for weeks and decide to go out with friends to relax....of course they tell themselves they will not drink and that they are strong enough to control it......they are always wrong.

I see some very decent people who simply are not strong enough to be in any environment where there is alcohol. Yes I like to try and help decent people yet the only thing I can often do is protect them from themselves for a few hours. The longer battle begins with yourself and changing almost every aspect of your life or habits.

If it is as bad as it sounds you are already ahead of the game by simply admitting you have a problem. This takes courage however the real courage will be to distance yourself from every friend who drinks and every place that makes you want to drink. Yes it is boring to walk a straight line and you may have to pass on certain events yet it can be done.

I have seen many people who go years without drinking and they slip up one time and go out with friends who drink and they fall right back to their old routine. I honestly believe that any person with an addiction is never truly cured however they can control their addiction by recognizing danger far ahead of time.

Spend a day for yourself and do something you like. Change your routines and maybe take up a healthy hobby like bike riding, join a gym, or even change your hairstyle. Just do something different and take each day one at a time. If you do have any friends or even family that drink tell them nicely that you simply can not associate with them right now. I know it sounds hard however honestly if you think it you can do it.

Maybe you can take a ride-along with your local police and experience the darker sides of addiction. I once knew of a judge who would force those who were caught DUI to go to classes that showed very graphic video of horrible wreck scenes involving alcohol. It did actually seem to help some people as they never really understood the actions of drinking and driving.

Bravo to you for taking the first step and again good luck with the future. If you really step back and look you will see there are several people probably touched by your problem however the good side is there will also be several people who will benefit greatly by you solving the problem as well.


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## jtr1962 (Jul 4, 2010)

You've already taken the first step, which is admitting the problem exists in the first place. Denial is usual the biggest reason addictions last. You slip into it gradually. First it's one drink, then two, and so forth. Before you know it, you're no longer just having a couple of beers a week to relax, but going through a bottle or two of hard liquor per day. The definition of an addiction is an activity which affects the rest of your life. When you can no longer hold down a job, and your relationships with friends and family suffer, then you know you have an addiction.

I tend to think there are two reasons alcohol addiction is so prevalent in the USA. One reason is drinking in moderation is socially acceptable. It's not a huge step to go from moderation to addiction if you have a compulsive personality. The second larger reason was the increase in the drinking age, and general taboo against giving minors any alcohol. I first tasted alcohol ( wine, beers, cordials ) when I was in grade school. This was typical in Italian families. In my opinion it demystifies alcohol, making you less likely to binge on it when you get older. Also, for most children, the aftereffects of alcohol tend to be unpleasant, even in very small quantities. Again, memories of this tend to discourage consumption of excessive alcohol in adulthood. Even now maybe I'll have wine with dinner once or twice a week, or perhaps a couple of beers a week in the summer. For whatever reason, alcohol still has the same effect on me it did as a child. Relatively small amounts put me to sleep, not make me more sociable. As a result, I drink mainly for the taste. I like the way beer tastes, but if the alcoholic effects could be removed I'd like it even more. Anyway, my point is because of the general taboo on alcohol until age 21, I tend to think many go crazy with it once they reach legal drinking age. The solution unfortunately, which is giving small quantities of alcohol to children at social functions, would probably be seen as tantamount to child abuse these days. End result then is we'll continue to have much higher levels of alcohol addiction than countries with more enlighteded attitudes.

All that being said, not everyone who takes a drink becomes addicted. Certain personality types are inherently obsessive. Based on my experience with my late father, this really can't be changed. His unhealthy relationship with food ultimately killed him. The only solution is to replace unhealthy obsessions, like drinking or smoking or overeating, with healthy ones where there is less downside. The best example might be exercise. True you can get repetitive strain injuries if you overdo exercise, but that's really the only downside.

My recommendation is to find an activity you enjoy with little downside. Every time you think of taking a drink, do the activity instead. Eventually your brain will associate getting your fix with the new activity, not with drinking. On a personal note, both of one of my cousin's parents were alcoholics. Both died at relatively young ages ( his mother was only 64, not sure about his father ). That alone is good reason to quit. And unfortunately quit is the only thing you can do. If you have an obsessive personality, there is no such thing as doing anything in moderation, including drinking. The only thing you can do is replace an unhealthy obsessive activity with a healthy one. Unfortunately, from what I've read and personal experience with family members, obsessive-compulsive disorder is notoriously difficult to even moderate, much less cure.


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## NonSenCe (Jul 4, 2010)

i vote yes for pretty much on everything said before me.

i recommend strongly writing down: 

a list of how much you drink per day/week/month. write each one down.

list why you dont want to drink. 

list why you want to drink. 

keep these lists with you or so you can see them ..not hidden away. a reminder that you yourself wrote works as deterrent.

if you feel you need a drink. ask yourself why and write it down. then look at the answer and try to see it as it is. isnt it just an excuse? 

go thru these things in your head.. and write them down (they become more concrete that way, and you can put the lists for you to see) ie. why do you drink when you drink. write em down. there is always a reasoning why.. boredom/party/bad mood etc.. 

do you "seek" reasons to have a drink. do you somehow escalate certain things like arguements or just make them sound worse than they are to make an excuse to drink. (because now you feel bad) 

do you look at your life and only look at bad things to make reasons for you to drown your sorrows. bringing up years old stuff.

do you find yourself "celebrating" daily about normal mundane things. yay its weekend, or friends birthday.. a friend that you dont go and visit on that day but you drink on his/her honour anyways. or that local sports team won. (dont even have to be local.) 

so do you jump for every chance to party.. "oh its last day of school" and last time you went to school was?

or do you give yourself a prize for doing something. (a beer for mowing the lawn etc) or going thru the day without a drink.. or week without a beer so you can get hammered on weekend.

is the Day Off/weekend concept a reason to drink. 

do you need a reason to stay sober if you have a day off? (gotta drive tomorrow morning so i cant drink today.. atleast not that much.) 

do you drink alone, or do you need company. 

do you seek company that is drinking, deliberately. look back few years, have the people you spend time with/friends changed to others. 

what do the older friends have in common.. (many times they are the kind that cant just drink on whim.. have family or demandin jobs, or only drink on "official party days" independence day new years etc.. not every weekend any more.. like they used to when you were younger.) they are boring thesedays.. they dont party nor drink anymore. 

do you need a drink to start a day? do you need a drink to go to bed. and then maybe another too. do you need to drink so much that you pass out to "sleep well". 

i repeat, write down: Why and Why not. be true to yourself. and yes. seek some professional counceling too. sometimes AA helps. sometimes it takes medication that just makes you feel so sick if you take just one drink. sometimes roots for drinking can be solved by therapist. sometimes it only takes a person to see the damage they have done to their life and loved ones. i know an alky that turned new leaf in his life the day he learned he had given his daughter age of 6 a black eye previous nite. 8 years and he is doing fine still. 

i hope you get the support you need to get your life in order. drinking moderately only works for people that can handle it. those that have tendencies to drink too much, they cant handle it. its a road to hell. if you find it troubling, work hard and quit that drinking. living without a drink is not that difficult. 

1st comes revelation that there is a problem.. then you can start to fix it. and you are on your way  good luck.


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## Rexlion (Jul 4, 2010)

jtr1962 said:


> ... I like the way beer tastes, but if the alcoholic effects could be removed I'd like it even more...


 Exactly how I feel. That is why I drink nonalcoholic brew (O'Douls). A nice thirst quencher on a hot day.


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## Dances with Flashlight (Jul 4, 2010)

brighterisbetter, you've been at CPF quite awhile and already realize that you have another family - your brethren here - and that is a huge advantage in dealing with any kind of problem. I don't know that anyone could find better advice than what has been contributed here by people who obviously understand and care. 

If anyone ever needed any evidence of the family that inhabits CPF, here it is.


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## jabe1 (Jul 5, 2010)

I know where you're at, I was there a number of years ago. Realizing (and admitting) there is a problem puts you one-up on many others.

Moderation will *not* work, you can easily fool yourself.
Prayer *will* help. Be specific about what you want. (ie: take these cravings away)
*AA works, and will help if you let it*. Almost every city has a branch office to call.

It's not easy, but rarely do we find anything truly worth it is.
It is simple.

The genetics thing does matter. An alcoholic processes the alcohol a bit differently than the non alcoholic. Don't use this as an excuse... facts and data can help... as they can help a diabetic.

If you need to talk something out, PM me and I'll give you my phone #.

In reference to how good it tastes... it's been 23 yrs ago for me, and I can _still_ remember the taste of a good Pilsner when I'm talking about it.


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## MojaveMoon07 (Jul 5, 2010)

I thought this was a good article about AA:

"_Secret of AA: After 75 Years, We Don’t Know How It Works_"
http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/06/ff_alcoholics_anonymous/


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## Empath (Jul 5, 2010)

There may be similar treatment centers elsewhere, but in the Pacific Northwest, there is an amazingly successful medical approach to addictions.  It's Schick Shadel's ten day treatment, with two followup visits lasting two days each after 30 days and 90 days.

Their program is a non-12 step program, treating addictions as a neurological illness.

I'm not dissing the 12 step program. It has been a successful method for many people, and has an added benefit of offering even more benefit than is sought by it's users. The success rate, though, is moderated to a large extent by a significant failure rate. Schick Shadel boasts that it is the number 1, successful method.


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## Launch Mini (Jul 5, 2010)

Since your family is already willing to help, that might make it easier.
From the people I've know, moderation does not work. I don't know your situation, but abstinance is probably the best.
When everyone else is grabbing a "beverage' you can too, but make it non-alcoholic, Cranberry & soda, Virgin Margarita, ice tea.....
Have your family support you but not drinking along with you.
Habit habit habit is one of the factors along with the genes.
They say it takes 21 day to break a habit, so try try & try to get through the next 3 weeks with softdrinks.:twothumbs
Best of luck in your endeavour.
There is nothing wrong with NOT drinking when everyone else is.


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## Light Sabre (Jul 5, 2010)

I only read about 1/3 of the messages and thought that I would share my experience with alcohol. The first thing that happened was that I got caught drinking and driving (DWAI). This was something like 8 years ago. I had to do EVERYTHING that the system told me to do. 16 hours of alcohol classes over 2 saturdays, 24 hours community service. Basically 24 hours of free labor for the city and I had to pay $60 to do that. I had to appear in court and plead guilty, pay fines and court costs. Since it was my first time, I hired a lawyer to help reduce the damage, only got a $100 reprieve since it was my first time. All in all it cost me $1100. Here in CO with the new laws in effect, it can now cost you ~$10K getting caught drinking and driving. The blood alcohol content is now .08% for a DUI and .05% for a DWAI. Not much at all. Getting caught drinking and driving never ever comes off your driving record, even if you move to a different state.

Mind you that at the end I was only drinking 3.2 beer and not many of those per day. When I quit drinking cold turkey I eventually went thru the DT's. For 2 days I *FELT EVERY SINGLE HEART BEAT*. The first night when I tried going to sleep, when I closed my eyes I saw either a kalidascope of twirling boxes or dancing clowns in addition to every single heart beat. The 2nd night I experienced all the above plus hearing IM's on a computer that was turned off. Hearing every form of bells, whistles, door bells, that you can imagine and it's hard to explain, but they were all kalidascoped as well. I thought that DT's only happened to people who drank heavily every day. When I went to my doctor, he said that it wasn't the quantity of alcohol consumed, but having alcohol in your system every day. He put me on Anabuse and another med and it all went away in a couple of hours. Those were 2 days of PURE HELL for me. I have never been to AA, so I can not comment on what that experience is like.

I do not want to experience either of the above events ever again, so for me it is rather easy to stay away from alcohol. Since each person is different mentally, emotionally, and physically we would all experice the desire for alcohol and withdrawal from it each in our own way.


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## kelmo (Jul 5, 2010)

I can relate. I'm a binge drinker myself. One is too many and ten is not enough. Next time you get the urge to drink, go for a run, lift weights, swim, etc,. etc., etc. The endorphin rush will take the edge off. After a couple of weeks you will notice a difference. And working out will help you sleep better.

For me when I go on a binge I close the loop slowly. Going cold turkey is way to hard on the body. Throttle back slowly before abstaining. But this takes tremendous will power.

Take baby steps, after having a drink, follow it up with a glass of water. Then a little later, two glasses of water. Sometimes it's just having a drink (water) in hand that makes all the difference.

Watch "Leaving Las Vegas."

YOU CAN DO IT!!!


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## brighterisbetter (Jul 5, 2010)

I can't believe the overwhelming response I've received from my CPF brethren regarding this problem of mine, and for that, I'm more grateful than you even know. The skinny version - I've decided to take the first step and attend a local AA meeting close by to my home this coming Wednesday following my grandmother's funeral. I'm done for good drinking now. You were all absolutely right - for an addict (like me), there is no such thing as moderation. I don't have "cravings" like some addicts do so I'm at least thankful for that. But what I do have is the inability to stop once I've had a couple. I'm one of those "all or nothing" type of personalities regarding alcohol at least. Once I've tasted one or two beers, I'll drink till I break stuff and throw fits and make an asshat of myself. There is no in between for me. Yes I do have a past that I try to suppress and all the alcohol seems to do is bring it to the surface. Like the old saying "drink when you wanna remember, not when you wanna forget". Absolutely true in my circumstance. And like others posted above me, I come from a long line of males in my genealogy who were alcoholics and that sickness killed a few of them including my own father (liver scerosis).

I'm a beer guy through and through, don't touch the hard stuff or wine. But if I can't handle myself and alienate those around me, then I need to be a "no-beer guy" from now on. I'll keep you all updated as I make progress and am very grateful for the support you've shown thus far. CPF is a magical place.

One of of the biggest foreseeable problems for me is that I know with certainty that without beer in my life, I'll turn into a recluse all over again - subliminally thinking that either I can't have a good time, or others wont find me as enjoyable, without a few beers in my system. That college attitude is what I need to move past. I need to learn how to enjoy the company of others and not need to pop a Xanax whenever I have to attend a family function or BBQ or whatever. The balance between those extremes is what I seek the most. I wanna be able to enjoy the company of others and engage in friendly witty conversation without having an inclination to GTFO at the first opportunity in sight.

It's so weird; I'm the most sociable person in the world in the workplace, both on and off phone. But when I come home, I alienate myself to the basement to avoid social interaction with my brother and his live-in girlfriend. I like her, and consider her as a sister to some extent, but I also hate knowing that she passed judgement on me both verbally and silently when I've been drinking. Mostly since she's the "newest addition" to the household so to speak. My bro knows me all to well but still recognizes I have a problem. But when she points out in public how embarrassing I am associated comments, all it does is feed the fire and he understandably takes her side cause she's sleeping with him. Hey, I get it. But come on. Should I stay in this environment and help him split the mortgage payment, or should I move out on my own and avoid social criticism and the presence of alcohol altogether? That's partly why I'm here, and why I'm attending the AA meeting Wednesday.

Thanks all for the direction so far.


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## jabe1 (Jul 5, 2010)

Awesome! Go for it. Give the AA people a chance, they've all been where you are. You do need to talk with them though.
I can relate to the feelings of alienating, I drank to get out of my own head, and feel comfortable, I wasn't sure what I'd do without a few (cough, cough) beers each evening.
Give it time, there's alot to do out there that doesn't involve drinking, and remember this... everyone is entitled to their own opinion of everyone else!

On another note, take a good multivitamin and some B-complex supplement everyday, it helps take the edge off.


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## dom (Jul 6, 2010)

Good stuff BiB - that's the spirit 

Can't help you with the social side as i'm pretty much a recluse myself - used drink
to socialize but of course that doesn't work.

I'm pretty happy with my own company though - everyone is different.

Give yourself a chance and you'll see soon enough what you'll put up with
as everything is much clearer without the fog of alcohol. 

I know exactly what and who i'll put up with now and have never for a second
regretted my life changing choice.

All the very best to you and good luck.
Cheers
Dom


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## Nornlights (Jul 6, 2010)

brighterisbetter said:


> Once I've tasted one or two beers, I'll drink till I break stuff and throw fits and make an asshat of myself.
> 
> 
> But when I come home, I alienate myself to the basement to avoid social interaction with my brother and his live-in girlfriend. I like her, and consider her as a sister to some extent, but I also hate knowing that she passed judgement on me both verbally and silently when I've been drinking. Mostly since she's the "newest addition" to the household so to speak. My bro knows me all to well but still recognizes I have a problem. But when she points out in public how embarrassing I am associated comments, all it does is feed the fire and he understandably takes her side cause she's sleeping with him.


 
This is going to sound cruel perhaps, however do you not think that an outsider can often point out the obvious more quickly than someone closer to you who's maybe unwilling to tell you the whole truth.

You need to be honest with yourself and ask is her criticism justified? Can you use it as motivation to improve your life?

Good luck and remember, a journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step.


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## dealgrabber2002 (Jul 6, 2010)

deleted. been mentioned already.


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## Beamhead (Jul 6, 2010)

brighterisbetter said:


> I But what I do have is the inability to stop once I've had a couple. I'm one of those "all or nothing" type of personalities regarding alcohol at least. Once I've tasted one or two beers, I'll drink till I break stuff and throw fits and make an asshat of myself. There is no in between for me.........
> 
> One of of the biggest foreseeable problems for me is that I know with certainty that without beer in my life, I'll turn into a recluse all over again - subliminally thinking that either I can't have a good time, or others wont find me as enjoyable, without a few beers in my system. That college attitude is what I need to move past. I need to learn how to enjoy the company of others and not need to pop a Xanax whenever I have to attend a family function or BBQ or whatever. The balance between those extremes is what I seek the most. I wanna be able to enjoy the company of others and engage in friendly witty conversation without having an inclination to GTFO at the first opportunity in sight.


 
I totally empathize as you described me during my final days of drinking.
I would only drink 5-7 times per year but to excess every time, I am an asshat sober so you can only imagine me under the influence.
I had the same feelings in social situations and still at times prefer to be alone but the trick is to learn to love yourself sober not caring what others think. Those who matter will see the good in you especially when you see it and let it out, you may actually lose some acquaintances but perhaps they were not in your best interest.

It has been over 15 years for me and I did not do it alone, it was support from close loved ones, prayers, and divine intervention.
I did not go the 12 step route as I saw my cousin suffer when he would stumble, ah that is an important thing if you do stumble do not beat yourself up just pray and get back up. So prayers and positive thoughts for you.
I now enjoy sitting around with others who drink and have zero desire to want to partake. You will reach that point no doubt.


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## scout24 (Jul 6, 2010)

Big steps, BIB... hang in there. The best part of not drinking, for me, in a social situation, is watching the asshats that other people become... and knowing I am not one of them. As far as other people go, having passed judgement, is that they have passed judgement on the old you, and it helps to think that they have some things they would like to change as well. I think almost everyone does. As long as you can look in the mirror every morning, and be happy with the person you see, and the choices you have made, everything else will fall into place. Be well. You have chosen the right path. :twothumbs


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## PhotonWrangler (Jul 6, 2010)

I know a fellow who's been sober for many years now, and part of his attitide that carries him through the day is this: He's allergic to beer. Whenever he has some, he breaks out in handcuffs


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## [email protected] (Jul 6, 2010)

PhotonWrangler said:


> I know a fellow who's been sober for many years now, and part of his attitide that carries him through the day is this: He's allergic to beer. Whenever he has some, he breaks out in handcuffs



That is an interesting point of view to have :thumbsup: 

I'm glad you've made the decision to seek help with this Brighterisbetter, over the years I've seen many individuals who drunk until they were permanently demented with significant brain damage & I tell you this is not something you'd wish on your worst enemy


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## 3rd Degree (Jul 6, 2010)

brighterisbetter said:


> I can't believe the overwhelming response I've received from my CPF brethren regarding this problem of mine, and for that, I'm more grateful than you even know. The skinny version - I've decided to take the first step and attend a local AA meeting close by to my home this coming Wednesday following my grandmother's funeral. I'm done for good drinking now. You were all absolutely right - for an addict (like me), there is no such thing as moderation. I don't have "cravings" like some addicts do so I'm at least thankful for that. But what I do have is the inability to stop once I've had a couple. I'm one of those "all or nothing" type of personalities regarding alcohol at least. Once I've tasted one or two beers, I'll drink till I break stuff and throw fits and make an asshat of myself. There is no in between for me. Yes I do have a past that I try to suppress and all the alcohol seems to do is bring it to the surface. Like the old saying "drink when you wanna remember, not when you wanna forget". Absolutely true in my circumstance. And like others posted above me, I come from a long line of males in my genealogy who were alcoholics and that sickness killed a few of them including my own father (liver scerosis).
> 
> I'm a beer guy through and through, don't touch the hard stuff or wine. But if I can't handle myself and alienate those around me, then I need to be a "no-beer guy" from now on. I'll keep you all updated as I make progress and am very grateful for the support you've shown thus far. CPF is a magical place.
> 
> ...


 



OK..I hope I can say this right so you can understand me..Here goes...

Humans are very complicated creatures. Addictions, be it alcohol, drugs,
sex ect, are only one of many reasons we do destructive things in our lives. Often you will find that the things we think we are addicted to are not the root cause of our problems. Many times they are just a symptom of a deeper neurological issue. 
I applaude you for admittting you have a problem and trying to take steps to fix it. But, you must make sure you are taking the correct steps.
You can not solve a problem fighting the symptoms!!
I say this because many of the things you said above... a past you try to suppress... turning into a recluse.. can't have a good time.. others wont find me enjoyable.. needing a xanax to deal with family.. alienated and avoiding social interaction.. are all signs ( along with others ) that you see in someone who is clinicaly depressed or (potentialy) bi-polar. None of these taken alone are a problem, But, taken together, along with the alcohol, it becomes a cause for concern.
So, in closing, I ask you...please...see you local mental heath services.
If there is nothing wrong you have only wasted a doctors visit and can continue with the AA program knowing you are only fighting the alcohol. 
But if there is an mental health issue then you have found the root cause of your problem. If you are depressed or have another mental issues, AA alone will never stop your destructive behavior. Always remember...you can't win a battle until you know who to fight!!!


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## scot (Jul 6, 2010)

Hi brighterisbetter, love your post, and congratulations on your decision. 
I've spent many years abusing alcohol, but the truth is alcohol wasn't my problem, Scot was. Alcohol was just a symptom of me being uncomfortable in my own skin.
Alcohol worked for me for a lot of years, then one day it stopped working!!!

There are many good roads to recovery, AA being just one, yet it's one that I heartily endorse.

AA does for me what alcohol used to do, it just takes a little longer, but it's more enduring!!

PM me any time,

I'll keep you in my prayers, 
Scot


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## sfca (Jul 6, 2010)

*
A good practice to incorporate into your life is mindfulness (or being present).

Every time you feel your mind wandering to thoughts of past or future, or when you can grab a drink bring your attention into the now. * *Here's a good quote,* "_It is important to understand that thoughts lead to impulses, and impulses lead to action (behavior)._"* 
When you "feel" judged bring awareness to where you are. It is important to not live too much in the head, and more in the body. Remember it is you that is feeling judged! To illustrate, you can also "feel" judged even when nobody is judging you.

We must remember that we are in control of our mind and emotions, not the other way around. This is a habit we've all gotten into and it's a simple matter of remembering a better way to live and getting back in the habit. *
*Also, don't put limitations on yourself. * *
1)* You limit yourself by believing you can't be happy alone. 
In fact if you can't be happy alone - you'll never be happy! Only if we can enjoy the company of ourselves can we enjoy the company of others.






*2)* Don't limit yourself by excluding AA. It might not work for everyone, but may it work for you? Why not see for yourself? AA is free and you're free to leave whenever you wish. So what's the harm? 

*3) *Don't limit yourself by saying no to counseling. If you don't have anyone you're comfortable with speaking about this _that's fine_. Accept it without labeling it as "bad" and realize it doesn't mean it'll be that way forever - you have the power to change this.
But if this is the case why not consider counseling. All psychologist and counselors offer the 1st session free. 
*You're free to find one that you are comfortable with - but never put limits on yourself and life.
*
 
Lastly, I just want to remind you that you gotta give everything time. Be open to it happening in a month, 2 months, 8 months, a year or 2 years. Without counting time you don't stress yourself out and one day you're going to wake up and realize you haven't drank in long long time.

_Edit: excellent resource for subconscious thinking/self-talk. Renowned psychologist/hypnotist in Vancouver. If you can't decide which MP3, just pick one they're all good. 
"Be More Positive" is a newer one and one that I'd recommend. Read the FAQs_


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## andyw513 (Jul 6, 2010)

That's a big step to take in admitting you have a problem *brighterisbetter*, and I congratulate you for it. It's great you turned to friends you already knew as well, and I know that you can conquer this battle because you know what it is. Reading your story really hit home with me because I'm facing a slump in my life at the moment too, not with addiction, but with financial and legal worries, and I turned to my friends here for help as well.

I'm not an expert on what to say to help you, but I just want you to know that I'll try to help any way I can, and I'm sure everyone else here will too. We're all pulling for you, good luck!


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## brighterisbetter (Oct 21, 2010)

Well I took the first step. I attended my very first "closed" AA meeting this past Monday and did a follow-up BigBook meeting the next day. After a round of testimonials of which I took part, I realized there are so many others out there who are way worse off (or more progressed I should say) with the illness than I am. I'm carrying around the 24-hr coin and plan to stick with the program for a short while as the people there are genuine; I just don't personally see the need to go every single night. Maybe once or twice a week will suffice. *Sober date is October 14, 2010.* A close female friend of mine who has been a sponsor herself is leading me through the process of taking the BigBook and Twelve Steps seriously, and I intend to do just that. I know it's only been a week so far but I already have zero cravings for alcohol other than when I'm bored (ie. watching the game on TV and feel like a beer). Then I remember the saying "1 is too many, 20 is never enough" and the coin in my pocket.

I'll update the thread as I feel the need to. Thanks again everyone for your outpouring support as I trudge through this. Especially those of you who've sent PMs (you know who you are :bow: )


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## CarpentryHero (Oct 21, 2010)

I'm proud of you, keep moving forward.

My motherinlaw just celebrated 7 years sober. 
Since she's quit if feels like she's a whole person.
AA works, a united we stand approach. She goes once or twice a week. She told me taking calls from 
others helped that first year too. 
I have faith in ya, keep it up


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## hank (Oct 21, 2010)

Recommended by a friend who made it back from the edge:

http://www.sff.net/people/bblongyear/saintmaryblue.html

Hard cases:
http://sff.net/people/bblongyear/yester.html


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## RAGE CAGE (Oct 21, 2010)

lots of good advice here...I have had similar issues for years and have found a lot of thoughtful and insightful ideas in this thread. Switched from draft to more pricey bottled microbrews the cost alone is lowering consumption and I am enjoying taste as opposed for looking for the effect. That and keeping a glass of water or lemonade nearby and I can stop with 1 now when that never used to happen before.


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## hank (Oct 21, 2010)

> others wont find me as enjoyable, without a few beers 

I doubt that's true.

A friend of mine quit drinking after losing his driver's license, and for a while continued to go to the same places with the same people but just not drink.

His comment -- after a few drinks, people _thought_ they were enjoyable and clever, but to him, sober, they were a lot less enjoyable. And his conversation was going right over their heads, they couldn't follow his thinking or even get his jokes.

He realized he was missing a whole level of enjoyment -- that of people who, sober, were clever, enjoyable to be around, and happy.

He went and found them. They're out there.


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## Mike20 (Oct 21, 2010)

I've had the same problem.
Quit 14 years ago when a major calamity caused by drinking forced me to try AA. Some say 90 meetings in 90 days-and I practiced that. Needed that and more. To my surprise prayer helped me tremendously. Pray. And continue to ask for help.
Just one more thought, as we sober up we find a need to share very intimate things with others. You might [will] be better off having a male to turn to for some of this.

May God be with you.


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## Essexman (Oct 21, 2010)

You have the support of many more people than you would think.

For every one person who writes a reply here in this thread, there msut be 100's maybe 1000's reading this and wishing you well in their minds.

Well done that man, keep it up.


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## NonSenCe (Oct 21, 2010)

nice to hear an update. hang in there.


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## GPB (Oct 21, 2010)

I've heard people say that if you drank every day, you should go to meetings every day, for a while at least. 

I congratulate you on your week of sobriety.

Two things in your post set off alarms when I read them.

1. "There are so many people there worse off than me..." That's a dangerous thought process. It will lead to..."my drinking problem wasn't THAT serious...." which will of course lead to " well I can have a few...." which leads to "Well I can still get drunk once a month..." Listen to the stories at the meetings. Let the ones about people who go out and never make it back scare the living crap out of you. 

2. You said you'd "Stick around for a while..." There is no while...there is today. One day at a time. Don't drink today. Don't worry about tomorrow, next week, the office Christmas party...anything other than today. Don't drink today and be grateful when you go to bed that you made it through the day without a drink. Worry about tomorrow when you get there.

I sincerely wish you the best. Only about a third of people who seek help get sober. Many more end up dead or in an institution. The odds are against you and will will have to work for this.

If you put in the effort and things work out however, you will find that you can enjoy things at a level never before imagined. Your relationships will become stronger, your self confidence and self esteem will soar, and you will generally become comfortable with yourself. As hard as it is, it is absolutely worth it.


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## geepondy (Oct 21, 2010)

Boy Greg, your words are so true, especially the last paragraph. I guess the younger you realize this the better off you'll be but it can never be too late.


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## leeholaaho (Oct 21, 2010)

You only have to quit one 

THE NEXT ONE!!!!!

TAKE CARE


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## 1 what (Oct 21, 2010)

"*Sober date is October 14, 2010.* "

Fantastic news.....keep up the good work!:thumbsup:


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## Notsure Fire (Oct 22, 2010)

That's why I never even took it up. Be strong.


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## GPB (Oct 22, 2010)

geepondy said:


> Boy Greg, your words are so true........



It's an issue I've got some first hand experience with. I wish I could say it was all positive, or that as soon as I realized I had a problem, everything was fine, but my path was a difficult one. The upside is that I now feel like the luckiest guy in the world and find joy in things that would seem mundane to most. To know I can be counted on as a friend, husband, father or employee, to have the trust and respect of my peers and family, and to have a positive effect on society are things that, at one time I never thought would be possible, and now they are second nature to me. 

What part of Mass are you from ? ( I'm from the northshore area )


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## TKC (Oct 22, 2010)

*When I was new in AA, it was suggested 90 meetings in 90 days. That worked from me. My ways of doing things weren't working, so I did what they suggested to me. I have been sober for a little over 22 years now, One Day at a Time. I would suggest the same to you.*


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## Solscud007 (Oct 23, 2010)

It is good that people care about you and that you are getting help. One great bonus is lots more money for lights hehe


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## GoldenF1 (Oct 23, 2010)

Essexman said:


> For every one person who writes a reply here in this thread, there msut be 100's maybe 1000's reading this and wishing you well in their minds.



+1001


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