# Words to Live By.



## Chauncey Gardiner

Share your favorites.

Never shoot a large caliber man with a small caliber bullet.


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## 1nterceptor

"Be the change that you want to see in the world" - Gandhi.


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## nbp

"If it comes out of your body, it should never go back into your body." -Mom


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## mvyrmnd

"The Universe is large, there's lots of stuff to think about" - Dr. Karl

"Who let the dogs out?" - The Baha Men

"What this thing needs is more power" - Tim Allen


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## DaveTheDude

"If you push something hard enough, it will fall over." Fudd's First Law of Opposition.
-- Firesign Theatre

"It goes up, it must come down." Teslicles Corollary to Fudd's First Law.
-- Firesign Theatre


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## PhotonWrangler

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It only wastes your time, and annoys the pig.


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## jtr1962

"What goes in must come out." (These were my mom's favorite words whenever we wanted another pet)

"(Insert your choice of impossible task) is like herding cats"


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## mvyrmnd

A three year old is the only thing in the universe that can breach the first law of thermodynamics


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## Lite_me

He has a face for radio.


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## sticktodrum

"You should never ever doubt what nobody is sure about." -Willy Wonka


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## mvyrmnd

Never underestimate the stupidity of people in large groups... or small groups... or individually...


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## thedoc007

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt."

-Unknown


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## Swede74

"Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse."


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## PhotonWrangler

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no sense being a damn fool about it.


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## thedoc007

Swede74 said:


> "Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse."





PhotonWrangler said:


> If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no sense being a damn fool about it.



Great ones, I actually cracked up when I saw these. Love it!


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## PhotonWrangler

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

_-Elanor Roosevelt._


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## MrDog

Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.


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## EZO

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

~Steven Wright


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## Monocrom

"Stupidity is doing the same thing, the exact same way 1000 times; and actually expecting a different result than the same one gotten the last 999 times." ~ Anonymous

(Also, the one in my Sig line.)


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## mvyrmnd

Monocrom said:


> "Stupidity is doing the same thing, the exact same way 1000 times; and actually expecting a different result than the same one gotten the last 999 times." ~ Anonymous
> 
> (Also, the one in my Sig line.)





PhotonWrangler said:


> If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no sense being a damn fool about it.



"If at first you don't succeed, stop. Think about it. Then try another way."

The amalgamation of those sentiments.


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## tatasal

What does not belong to you will always seem to be better..


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## jtr1962

mvyrmnd said:


> "If at first you don't succeed, stop. Think about it. Then try another way."
> 
> The amalgamation of those sentiments.


A variation on this theme is "Once you screw up big time, move on to other things".

Some people just don't have an aptitude for certain things. At all. In my case, it's earning more than a minimal amount of money, getting past "friendship" with the opposite sex, and any type of sport requiring hand-eye coordination. I tried all of these things at one time or another with little success. After several tries, I concluded my efforts were better spent at pursuits I was good at. I totally agree it's worthwhile to continue pursuing things if you at least get marginally better with each try. That certainly happened with cycling, for example. In the three cases above, there was no improvement whatsoever after repeated disasters.


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## mvyrmnd

tatasal said:


> What does not belong to you will always seem to be better..



That also applies to toast.

Toast made by someone else is invariably better than toast made by you.


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## idleprocess

Allright - I'll play:

*All's well that ends*
Truncated for a reason - projects and other discrete tasks need to have a conclusive end, which they often are not granted

*Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.*
Carl Sagan - I take this to mean that you should remain open to possibilities

*Inferior minds discuss personalities. Average minds discuss events. Superior minds discuss ideas.*
Variations of this are commonly attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt

*Theater is life. Cinema is art. Television is furniture.*
No idea where this came from, but it's always been very true to me

*Do what you can with what you have where you are.*
Teddy Roosevelt, I believe - I take it to mean that you should recognize when something is possible despite obstacles

*Work has a tendency to expand to fit the time allocated to it.*
No idea where this came from, but its truth comes from allocating too much time to a task - which does not have any particular tendency to make the outcome better

*Beware the 90-90 rule: The first 90% of the project takes 90% of the time allotted. The last 10% of the project takes 90% of the time spent.*
Derived from The Jargon File

*A project can meet specifications, come in under budget, or meet its deadline - pick two*
*An electronic device can be simple, cheap, or efficient - and if you're lucky it can be two of those things*
Heard these (and other _A, B, or C - pick two_) in industry

*Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.*
Hunter Thompson

*Society is three meals away from disorder*
Heard this many times and believe there are significant elements of truth to it

*The brochure view of anything is always more attractive than the reality of it*
Beware the unqualified promotion of anything - it will be missing crucial negatives...


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## jabe1

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Always use the biggest possible tool for the job- Dad


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## Chauncey Gardiner

idleprocess said:


> *Society is three meals away from disorder*
> Heard this many times and believe there are significant elements of truth.



Oh man,,,,,, I could have gone all week without being confronted by that reality. Scary excrement!

~ Chance


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## Monocrom

"If your only tool is a hammer, pretty soon every problem will start to look like a nail."

(A self-defense proverb.)


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## Monocrom

_I guess we all should be a bit ashamed for not posting the following sooner ..._

*"Two is one, and one is none."*


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## Swede74

"When in doubt (use more) lube."

- Jamie Hyneman


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## Lite_me

Don't force it.. get a bigger hammer.


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## PhotonWrangler

Press button to start
Rub hands under nozzle
Wipe hands on pants


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## jamie.91

Weird how so many of these ring true, I've been a different person since I heard one of these 2 years ago, I'd just started my current job and in the first week whilst trying to make a good impression I was working hard, real hard, my boss came over to me and told me to "work smarter not harder". I've never felt as educated as I did that day and that saying has been at the forefront of my thinking since!


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## scout24

If you lie down with dogs, you're gonna get fleas...


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## skyfire

Lite_me said:


> Don't force it.. get a bigger hammer.




i busted out laughing from this, aint nothing a hammer cant fix.:twothumbs

"buy cheap, buy twice" - friend of mine always says that one.
"the simpler the better" - me
"lift with your legs" - something i always have to remind myself about.


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## smokinbasser

Measure twice, cut once.


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## idleprocess

Lite_me said:


> Don't force it.. get a bigger hammer.



That's step 3. Step 1 is to swear at it. Step 2 is to hit it with whatever's available.


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## PhotonWrangler

Step 4 - 

Buy a new one to replace the one you busted with the hammer.


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## Monocrom

"Figure out what's important to you, and what's not. Don't spend too much time on the latter because that just means less time you have to devote to the former. The above also applies to individual people in your Life too. " ~ Me


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## DrafterDan

Know thy enemy, know thyself

From within Daniel's galaxy


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## mesa232323

"light a man a fire and he will be warm one night, light a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life." 

"be yourself"-me


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## Chauncey Gardiner

The person you have the most ability to control is yourself. Attempting to control another will result in both of you being miserable. ~ Love and Logic

~ Chance


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## idleprocess

PhotonWrangler said:


> Step 4 -
> 
> Buy a new one to replace the one you busted with the hammer.


Since the idea is just an extension of "If it jams, force it" then clearly it just needed replacing anyway.


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## mvyrmnd

mesa232323 said:


> "light a man a fire and he will be warm one night, light a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life."



+1

Gold!


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## Lite_me

My Dr told me this one.. 

Use it, or lose it!


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## jtr1962

"When in doubt, use duct tape"


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## Monocrom

"Happy Wife, happy life (for you)."


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## fyrstormer

"If you can't behave like a decent human being without God's wrath to motivate you, you're probably a sociopath."

- One of my friends, paraphrased by me


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## D2000

love that last one fyrstormer


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## Lite_me

It's deja vu all over again. - Yogi Berra


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## MartinC

If at first you don't succeed.... skydiving is not for you!


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## MartinC

Lite_me said:


> It's deja vu all over again. - Yogi Berra



Hey Lite me, I love Yogi Berra, especially: "A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on!"


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## PhotonWrangler

Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.

_-Yogi Berra_


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## Norm

" Boo Boo, you've tried to stop my brilliant ideas with common sense a thousand times. Has it ever worked? "

Yogi Bear


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## PJ

If it moves and it shouldn't -- duct tape
If it should move and it doesn't -- WD40


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## climberkid

EZO said:


> It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
> 
> ~Steven Wright



Siri told my wife this after she asked 5 times in 10 minutes what the temperature was. 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk 4


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## EZO

Good people don't rip other people's arms off.

~SpongeBob


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## CMAG

Silence is golden
Duct tape is silver.

If you want it done right
Find the right person to do it

Never argue with a woman


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## orbital

+

May you always be the kind of person your dog thinks you are


_______ ________ ________


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## CMAG

Monocrom said:


> "Stupidity is doing the same thing, the exact same way 1000 times; and actually expecting a different result than the same one gotten the last 999 times." ~ Anonymous
> 
> (Also, the one in my Sig line.)


I thought that was insanity


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## Burgess

Figure out what SUCKS, 

and then Don't do it !


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## MartinC

I loved all the Yogi Berra quotes, the guy is a legend.

"Ninety percent of this game is half-mental."


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## Monocrom

CMAG said:


> I thought that was insanity



Nope. Stupidity. Though that's a common mistake. Even someone genuinely insane would realistically have a moment of clarity before reaching #1,000 and therefore stop at one point in time.


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## Monocrom

"Do unto others ... then run."

"Always walk a mile in someone's shoes before judging them ... That way, you'll have their shoes and be be a mile away if you decide you can't stand them."

"When you meet someone for the first time, expect them to lie, cheat, and screw you over eventually ... That way when they do, you won't get too stressed out about it. If they don't, then you get to enjoy a happy surprise!"


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## idleprocess

_Schlock Mercenary_ had some good ones:

The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy - no more, no less
Pillage, then burn
If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
Everything is air-droppable at least once.
If you're not willing to shell your own position, you're not willing to win.
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow.
If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.
That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.
If the damage you do is covered by a manufacturer's warranty, you didn't do enough damage.
There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'time to reload.'
The world is richer when you turn enemies into friends, but that's not the same as you being richer.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun.
If you can see the whites of their eyes, somebody's done something wrong.


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## climberkid

Here's one that you all mentioned already. My wife has had this on her white board for weeks.







And the engineering perspective on the glass.


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## EZO

This flow chart merely confirms earlier _words to live by_ from the master Himself.

One needs only two things in life;
WD-40 to make things go,
and Duct Tape to make them stop.

~Red Green


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## EZO

Of course there's:

Spare the Duct Tape, Spoil the job.

~Red Green


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## EZO

Also:

Duct tape is like the Force:
light on one side,
dark on the other,
it holds the universe together,
and if not handled properly, becomes a sticky mess.

~Red Green


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## Kestrel

Some good ones here, thanks folks.

"Three people can keep a secret as long as two of them are dead."


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## PhotonWrangler

EZO said:


> Also:
> 
> Duct tape is like the Force:
> light on one side,
> dark on the other,
> it holds the universe together,
> and if not handled properly, becomes a sticky mess.
> 
> ~Red Green



Lol! That was a good one.


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## jtr1962

A boat is a hole in the water which you fill with money to keep afloat.


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## Monocrom

"Life is like a typical Fellini film. Much of the time, it makes no sense. Everyone else in it pretends to know what's going on. It's loaded with pretentiousness. And just when you finally think you know what it's all about ... it's over!" ~ Me


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## CMAG

EZO said:


> This flow chart merely confirms earlier _words to live by_ from the master Himself.
> 
> One needs only two things in life;
> WD-40 to make things go,
> and Duct Tape to make them stop.
> 
> 
> ~Red Green


+ a hammer and 9/16 wrench


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## idleprocess

jtr1962 said:


> A boat is a hole in the water which you fill with money to keep afloat.



The two best days in the life of a boat owner are the day they buy followed closely by the day they sell it.


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## duffman

you never know the answer until you face the question


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## Chauncey Gardiner

Just because you don't know how to do something, doesn't nessacearly mean you can't do it. - Me

Live and learn.

~ Chance


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## mvyrmnd

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Just because you don't know how to do something, doesn't nessacearly mean you can't do it. - Me
> 
> Live and learn.
> 
> ~ Chance



Of the opposite:

Just because you know how to do something, it doesn't necessarily mean you should


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## Chauncey Gardiner

Never underestamate the stupidity of your fellow drivers. 

~ Chance


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## Steve K

"If it can happen, eventually it will happen".. just my own observation, and mostly applicable towards planning for what happens when things break, dealing with poor drivers, etc. This is probably an observation based on my life as a practicing engineer.


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## Cyclops942

The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
-- Erma Bombeck


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## Monocrom

"All that glitters, isn't gold."


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## Norm

Monocrom said:


> "All that glitters, isn't gold."



All that glisters is not gold;
Often have you heard that told:
Many a man his life hath sold
But my outside to behold:
Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
Had you been as wise as bold,
Young in limbs, in judgement old
Your answer had not been inscroll'd
Fare you well, your suit is cold.

Bill Shakespeare's play The Merchant of Venice,


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## poolman966554

"Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill in the same night"


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## CMAG

If she still has her clothes on, put another log on the fire.


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## Monocrom

Norm said:


> All that glisters is not gold;
> Often have you heard that told:
> Many a man his life hath sold
> But my outside to behold:
> Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
> Had you been as wise as bold,
> Young in limbs, in judgement old
> Your answer had not been inscroll'd
> Fare you well, your suit is cold.
> 
> Bill Shakespeare's play The Merchant of Venice,



Thanks for the assist, Norm. :twothumbs


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## PhotonWrangler

It's bad luck to be superstitious.


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## tjswarbrick

I... have no opinion.
--Tim (The Toolman) Taylor


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## orbital

+

_an ounce of prevention_ saves other people money



.


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## Monocrom

"When in doubt ... Google it!"


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## ThrowerLover

The right tool for every job makes every job expensive.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk. So, yeah, I'm pretty much all that.


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## skillet

Don't kill him! He won't learn nothing!


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## PhotonWrangler

Keep yer stick on the ice!

_-Red Green_


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## Capolini

mvyrmnd said:


> "If at first you don't succeed, stop. Think about it. Then try another way."
> 
> The amalgamation of those sentiments.



"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"!!


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## Capolini

"Knowing is NOT enough, we must apply. Willing is NOT enough, we must do".

Bruce Lee

"Physical beauty temporarily satisfies the eye. Inner beauty is eternal and nurtures the soul".

"Don't let the past close the door to your future".




Robert E. Mazur,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,he has written hundreds more!


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## EZO

"Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will."

~Yoda



[h=2][/h]


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## EZO

Happens to every guy sometimes this does.

~Yoda


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## Monocrom

Capolini said:


> "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"!!



Even lunatics have moments of clarity.


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## Burgess

Don't lose your head 

to a woman who will spend your bread.


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## Hooked on Fenix

Always assume the gun is loaded.

Never give a monkey a gun. He'll go bananas. (just an observation from a youtube video)

If you have a healthy marriage, home is where the heart is. If you're struggling in your marriage, home is where the hate is. If you're divorced, home is where your hat is (in your car or on a park bench).

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing it wrong.

If you give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, he'll get off food stamps.

Don't throw your pearls to swine. Don't put lipstick on a pig. If you're doing these things, what are your intentions with the pig?


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## idleprocess

Hooked on Fenix said:


> Always assume the gun is loaded.


Keep your booger hook off the bang switch until you're ready to fire.


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## PhotonWrangler

Burgess said:


> Don't lose your head
> 
> to a woman who will spend your bread.



Burma Shave


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## Monocrom

"You can walk down one end of the road or the other. If you're a middle-of-the-roader, you'll get run over."


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## Hooked on Fenix

You are what you eat (said one cannibal to another).


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## Hooked on Fenix

Chinese Proverb: "Hungry man wait long time for roast duck to fly in mouth."


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## MartinC

Hooked on Fenix said:


> Chinese Proverb: "Hungry man wait long time for roast duck to fly in mouth."



That is a great quote.


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## Monocrom

"Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel, is an oncoming train." ~ Barry Weiss


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## Lite_me

Youth is wasted on the young.


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## Hooked on Fenix

Don't burn yourself with a magnifying glass. When you ask for sympathy, you'll get mockery.

Never argue with someone carrying a gun and a badge.


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## Bruceter

Never fry bacon while naked.

Bruceter


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## Dr. Strangelove

tjswarbrick said:


> I... have no opinion.
> --Tim (The Toolman) Taylor



"I don't think so, Tim"

Al Borland


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## Chauncey Gardiner

“Everyone has a plan 'til they get punched in the mouth.” - Mike Tyson

The more I consider Mr. Tyson's quip, the more I realize its vast applicability. Truly, words to live by.

~ Chance


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## whill44

Great minds think alike, however the not so great gather together as well. - william


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## Hooked on Fenix

The early bird gets the worm. Rather than eating worms, I'll wait to bag the bird instead.


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## NonSenCe

Buy the best quality that you can afford. Try to only buy things you really need. Buy things you can only afford to buy and pay for (easily). Avoid dept.


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## Lite_me

People don't plan to fail, they fail to plan.


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## PhotonWrangler

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.


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## Norm

PhotonWrangler said:


> We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.


If only that were true. Life catches up with as all.

Norm


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## PhotonWrangler

Life: The stuff that happens while you were making other plans.


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## Monocrom

Norm said:


> If only that were true. Life catches up with us all.
> 
> Norm



I should have done a better job of hiding.


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## EZO

It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.

- Brigitte Bardot


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## AZPops

Only loser's say, "I did my best"! ... Sean Connery ... "The Rock".


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## Lite_me

There are 3 rings to a marriage.

The engagement ring.
The wedding ring.
And the suffering.


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## Chauncey Gardiner

^ Choose wisely,, skip the third ring.

Married 28 years this September. Yes, to the same woman. 

How have I managed that? You may ask. I married-up, and have almost always been mindful of that fact. If you don't believe me, just ask my mother-in-law. She'll confirm what I'm telling you is true.

My mother, on the other hand,, probably loves my wife more than she loves me. That fact, has been a huge blessing. They have been best friends since we meet. At the wedding rehearsal dinner, my mom stood up and announced: "If I would have gone out to find a wife for my son, I would have brought back Debbie." 

If you choose wisely, and love your spouse more than you love yourself, life is good!

~ Chance


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## Flying Turtle

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> If you choose wisely, and love your spouse more than you love yourself, life is good!
> 
> ~ Chance



Wise words, Chance. This philosophy has helped my marriage to last 41 years come next Tuesday.

Geoff


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## Lite_me

It's humor, guys. 

Me and the little one (as I call her) will be celebrating 36yrs come Nov.


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## Hooked on Fenix

Here are some by General George S. Patton:

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

"A good plan executed today is better than a perfect plan executed at some indefinite point in the future."

"Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity."

"The test of success is not what you do when you're on top. Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom."

"A pint of sweat will save a gallon of blood."

"You're never beaten until you admit it."

"It is only by doing things others have not that one can advance."

"Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack."

"Lead, follow, or get out of the way."

"To halt under fire is folly. To halt under fire and not fire back is suicide."

"If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn't thinking."

"Live for something rather than die for nothing."

"Do everything you ask of those you command."

"No good decision was ever made in a swivel chair."

"...the only sure defense is offense...."

"Untutored courage is useless in the face of educated bullets."


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## Monocrom

Lite_me said:


> It's humor, guys.
> 
> Me and the little one (as I call her) will be celebrating 36yrs come Nov.



"Jealousy is never a good thing." ~ Me

(BTW, I'm horribly jealous of all 3 of you.)


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## Chauncey Gardiner

Flying Turtle said:


> Wise words, Chance. This philosophy has helped my marriage to last 41 years come next Tuesday.
> 
> Geoff



Happy anniversary Geoff! 41 years together,, WOW!

One of my few regrets is my wife and I weren't high-school sweethearts. I wasted a lot of my youth......I was 28 when we married.



Lite_me said:


> It's humor, guys.



For a joke to be funny, it has to have some truth to it,, of course I laughed out loud when I read "The Three Rings". 



Lite_me said:


> Me and the little one (as I call her) will be celebrating 36yrs come Nov.



Any fool can sleep with a different woman every week. It takes a real man to satisfy the same woman for 36 years. 

Congratulations Lite_me, wishing you and The Little One many more.

~ Chance


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## griff

As I sit here in a hotel room in far off Buffalo ready to move my first born son into his dorm, I can’t help but think of all the other parents and children embarking on this same life-changing event. So I thought an open letter to entering college freshman might be appropriate.
Dear child whose parents are crying,

The moment you have been planning for is finally here - you are off to college. This is your time to shine and you should prepare to shine brightly.
For those of you who are leaving home, remember although it is a rite of passage and part of becoming an adult, you are not leaving your family. They will always be a part of you. They were there in the beginning when you came into their lives, they watched over you and kept you safe and loved you every single day for all these years. They share your memories of preschool finger paintings, little league, dance recitals, gymnastics, Brownies, Cub Scouts and more. Your life has been their life and it is now time you go on to find your own.
College is a place to spread your wings and grow. Where you can flex your intellectual muscles and soak in the knowledge that surrounds you. Until now school has been a requirement. College is a choice - a choice to further your education and build on your life experiences. Make the most of your time. Pick interesting classes wherever you can (you’ll always have to take the boring ones). Study hard, do the best work you can. There is plenty of time to have fun and study.
Speaking of fun, this new chapter of your life will find you making lifelong friends. Pick people who are fun, caring, smart, funny, honest and loyal. Get to know all different kinds of people… life’s more interesting that way. Choose your friends wisely.
Sadly, chances are the economy will not have fully rebounded by the time you graduate and getting a job sucks. Employers choose people who show their abilities through their hard work, participation in activities and a willingness to help others. So join things - clubs, intramural sports, community service activities. Get to know your professors and advisors. They will come in handy when you need a reference or recommendation and a lot of them have contacts in the ‘real world’ which will help tremendously when you are job seeking. Be very nice to them.
When you’re uncertain on how to proceed and you’re tempted to do something you know you shouldn’t or something that isn’t exactly legal, remember: you will now be treated as an adult. There are no do-overs. Don’t throw away your entire future for a night of illegal fun.
If you ever doubt yourself in college, remember this day has been years in the making and though you may not feel it right now, you are ready. Believe in what you can accomplish and you will accomplish great things! This is a BIG change in your life, and although change can be hard, it’s nothing you can’t handle. Give yourself time to learn ‘the ropes’ and ask for help. There are many people that will have the answers you are looking for. Don’t be afraid to ask.
You will be making decisions in college that will affect your life years from now. Make choices that will be good for you; your choice of study should reflect you, not your parents or your friends. Get all the information you need to make good selections. Trust your judgment.
Now be fearless and start your adventure! And don’t forget to call your parents. They need to hear from you at times other than when you need money!


----------



## scout24

Griff- Wise words. PM sent...


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

If you don't make a habit of listening to your wife, this guy will. 

~ Chance

My friends call me The Love Doctor.


----------



## Monocrom

Ha ha! 

Best use of a smiley I've ever seen on CPF.


----------



## orbital

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> ....call me The Love Doctor.



+

Chance aka *Dr. Love*~~~~ big,,bigger,,biggest  :devil:


----------



## Cataract

When all else fails, read the manual -Unknown

If you make something idiot proof, someone will just make a better idiot -Attributed to Murphy




skyfire said:


> "the simpler the better" - me



Me too -Agent Smith


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Don't let the twins make driving decisions. Nine out of ten times they'll lead you astray. 

~ Me


----------



## EZO

"Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home."

- Sir David Frost


(Perhaps not exactly words to live by but something to consider next time you flip on the tube.)


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

I can't remember who the comedian was that told this joke. "I came home from working all day and had to laugh at the stupid flies spending their life buzzing around my poarchlight. Then I went inside and watched five hours of TV."

~ Chance


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

Hampsters are like cigarettes. Perfectly harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire. -Comedian John Branyan.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

EZO said:


> "Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home."
> 
> - Sir David Frost
> 
> 
> (Perhaps not exactly words to live by but something to consider next time you flip on the tube.)



There's a little bit of Groucho Marx in that statement. RIP Mr Frost. Thanks for keeping them honest.


----------



## Silgt

RIP Sir David Frost...your voice will certainly be missed!

Sent from my GT-N5110 using Tapatalk 2


----------



## gadget_lover

Two of my favorites:

If momma ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy.

Never attribute to malice or hate that which can be explained my stupidity or thoughtlessness. 
(That last one is really a key to happiness. )

But the words that are really most important to live by are....

I'm sorry honey.
and
Yes dear.

Daniel


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

You'll never wake up in the morning wishing You'd drank more the night before. 

~ Me C.G.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

*Words To Live By.......rest in peace!? * :ironic: 

Sorry, just couldn't let that one go by.

~ Chance


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> *Words To Live By.......rest in peace!? * :ironic:



Sounds like something that James Bond would say.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

I'm thinking it would be something Bill would say, right before killing someone. 

~ Chance

That's Bill as in Kill Bill, not Bullzeyebill.


----------



## climberkid

Or Bullzeyebill too.... :thinking:


----------



## nbp

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> I'm thinking it would be something Bill would say, right before killing someone.
> 
> ~ Chance
> 
> That's Bill as in Kill Bill, not Bullzeyebill.



"You're not a bad person...you're my favorite person."


----------



## bshanahan14rulz

You know what they say about assuming; it makes an _***_ out of _u_ and _Ming_. At the very least, you can always blame it completely on Ming.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother

_-Albert Einstein_


----------



## Monocrom

When trying to understand humanity, keep in mind that at one time two cities went to war. Thousands of men died. They fought over ... a bucket. 

~ Me.


----------



## Lite_me

If you drink, don't park.

Accidents cause people.


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

If you can't say something nice, odds are that you can still say it sarcasticly.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.

~ Paul


----------



## mvyrmnd

I have a good one, but Norm would slap me all the way back to Unenlightened if I posted it


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
> 
> ~ Paul



Good one. That's from Ephesians 4:26. The whole verse is "In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,"


----------



## RBR

.....


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

The best things in life are free. But sometimes the worst mistakes start with saying yes to no money down.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

There's no such thing as a free lunch. 

Milton Friedman

~ Chance


----------



## PhotonWrangler

The best things in life aren't things.


----------



## Burgess

Precisely !

:thumbsup:
_


----------



## Cataract

_"What experience and history teach is this - that people and governments never have learned anything from history, or acted on principles deduced from it." 
*G. W. F. Hegel 





"We learn from history that we learn nothing from history." 
George Bernard Shaw 




"Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it." 
George Santayana *_


----------



## StarHalo

_Rockefeller might have wished to make his factories, railroads, and oil rigs big and bulky and own them for a long, long time to come (for eternity, if one measures time by the duration of human or human family life.) Bill Gates, however, feels no regret when parting with possessions in which he took pride yesterday; it is the mind-boggling speed of circulation, of recycling, ageing, dumping and replacement which brings profit today - not the durability and lasting reliability of the product. In a remarkable reversal of the millennia-long tradition, it is the high and mighty of the day who resent and shun the durable and cherish the transient, while it is those at the bottom of the heap who - against all odds - desperately struggle to force their flimsy and paltry, transient possessions to last longer and render durable service. The two meet nowadays mostly on opposite sides of the jumbo-sales or used-car auction counters._ -Zygmunt Bauman, _Liquid Modernity_


----------



## Monocrom

StarHalo said:


> _Rockefeller might have wished to make his factories, railroads, and oil rigs big and bulky and own them for a long, long time to come (for eternity, if one measures time by the duration of human or human family life.) Bill Gates, however, feels no regret when parting with possessions in which he took pride yesterday; it is the mind-boggling speed of circulation, of recycling, ageing, dumping and replacement which brings profit today - not the durability and lasting reliability of the product. In a remarkable reversal of the millennia-long tradition, it is the high and mighty of the day who resent and shun the durable and cherish the transient, while it is those at the bottom of the heap who - against all odds - desperately struggle to force their flimsy and paltry, transient possessions to last longer and render durable service. The two meet nowadays mostly on opposite sides of the jumbo-sales or used-car auction counters._ -Zygmunt Bauman, _Liquid Modernity_



An excellent example of everything wrong with the mentality of the Disposeable Society.

I'm glad SureFire and other brands that specialize in other products have decided to give the one-finger salute to that philosophy.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

StarHalo said:


> ?......._ while it is those at the bottom of the heap who - against all odds - desperately struggle to force their flimsy and paltry, transient possessions to last longer and render durable service. _



My last auto purchase was a new 94 Astro van. 20 years and 307,000 miles later I find myself forced to hunt eBay and/or junk yards for parts no longer available from the dealer or auto parts stores. So yes, I'm one of those at the bottom of the heap. I'll also mention I'm debt free. No house, college, car, or *new* smart-phone payments. I've had a My Touch HTC Glacier (which was free from T-Moble) for three years. I think the cell phone company's are in the process of getting people used to the idea that, the will always have a phone payment. Not for service, but a new phone every two years. 

Back on topic:

You're not controlled by how much $ you make. You're being controlled by how much $ you spend.

~ Chance


----------



## Norm

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> I've had a My Touch HTC Glacier (which was free from T-Moble) for three years.


Free cell phones aren't free, the cost is amortized over the length of the contract..

Norm


----------



## Cataract

Being a loyal customer can have some great advantages if you take the time to negotiate. I have a ridiculously cheap plan now, so cheap a land line with no long-distance plan would cost more - and I have nationwide calls free on my cell. I just have to keep this plan and phone for 2 years and call them again after that.

Words to live by:
Always negotiate with any service provider. Loyalty and good conduct still can get good rewards.


Sent from somewhere in a tunnel, 42 minutes away from anywhere.


----------



## Monocrom

Norm said:


> Free cell phones aren't free, the cost is amortized over the length of the contract..
> 
> Norm



For a long time in Europe, the standard thing to do was go Pre-Paid. In America, we have contracts. With Pre-Paid seen as something only struggling slobs go for because they don't have enough credit to get a phone under contract. As though a contract is some sort of truly desirable thing or an odd status symbol. But the word is getting out now that being locked into a contract comes with zero benefits. So why bother? ... Oh, a free phone? Yeah, the phone is free. You're just locked into paying for service every month for the next two years. (I remember when 1-year contracts were the norm.)

Pay for the phone, use it, realize there won't be any real significant upgrades for at least 3-5 years. Just some BS tweaks to technology. Pre-Paid no longer comes with the stigma it used to. Hopefully that idea is taking hold in Australia too.


----------



## Monocrom

Cataract said:


> Being a loyal customer can have some great advantages if you take the time to negotiate. I have a ridiculously cheap plan now, so cheap a land line with no long-distance plan would cost more - and I have nationwide calls free on my cell. I just have to keep this plan and phone for 2 years and call them again after that.
> 
> Words to live by:
> Always negotiate with any service provider. Loyalty and good conduct still can get good rewards.



Not sure who you had. But I had T-Mobile for over a decade. Their cheapest plan was $19.99 a month. 

That got me 75 minutes a month M. - F. and 500 for the weekend. I was happy at first. But by the time I left T-Mobile, my bill was just under $30 a month after all the taxes, fees, and whatever else were factored in. Originally the total bill was under $22 a month. I got Nickel & Dimed to death. But I didn't get really upset until one day when I actually needed to use my phone, and realized it was in Emergency mode (911 calls only). Meanwhile, I had paid my bill on time. I always did. Confused, I called up T-Mobile, the company I had been loyal to for over a decade. 

Come to find out, that they had just received my payment in the mail that day, even though I always mail it out early. So apparently there was a problem with the postal service. But having a clear track record of always paying on time ... T-Mobile didn't give a crap. They shut off service to my phone anyway, and I was stuck with a phone only good for making 911 calls. Now, I did not receive so much as a courtesy call or text message to let me know what T-Mobile was going to do. They just automatically shut off service anyway! What absolute BS! I hadn't been under contract with them for years. I immediately told the T-Mobile operator that I was done with them.

No clue who the absolute scumbag executive at T-Mobile was who proposed that idea. But clearly several other executives, all high-ranking, thought that such a greedy, scumbag practice was a great idea because they implemented it for all customers for whom payment does not arrive in time. I'm not giving a penny to a company run by such absolute scumbags. The type of folks who by their sheer existence make this world a worse place to live in than it has to be.

Now, I get 250 minutes a month with unlimited text for a tiny fraction of what I used to pay. Pre-Paid, definitely the way to go.


----------



## StarHalo

Monocrom said:


> Now, I get 250 minutes a month with unlimited text for a tiny fraction of what I used to pay. Pre-Paid, definitely the way to go.



Smart phone or flip phone? I'm at $35/mo. for 500 mins unlimited data/text, gotta have the internet and GPS..


----------



## Cataract

it sounds like T-mobile has shady practices concerning customer service. If you can't accommodate your customers, then they shouldn't accommodate you. I have about 25 years of experience with serving clients and all forms of technical support and I can't remember the last time I lost a client unless they got better pricing elsewhere, but I never had such a drastic attitude towards my clients. If a company can't serve you well, they don't deserve your business. If they can't listen to you, they don't deserve your business. Seems like hey treated you in an insulting manner; like spitting in your face! 

(Ranting aside...)

From what I understand (and this has been confirmed by a few sources lately) we pay much more in Canada for cell phone services. We do have much less providers, but I never heard of anyone being disconnected for a payment that was less than a month late. I guess that can depend on a company's politics, although over here paying late seems to be much more common. The company I've been with for the past 10 years will charge a small surplus (5 to 10$) for a late payment, but I never got disconnected for being late, although I've never been late by more than 1 to 3 days. 

My new plan includes nights (starting at 6) and weekends unlimited, texting for free nationwide, no long distances or roaming charges in Canada, 500 minutes daytime (still no long distance or roaming fees and I did have to act like a butthole to get that much) and a couple more good quirks like larger voicemail and extremely low cost data (I didn't want to pay 10$ more a month for a data plan as I only need it once a year unless I'm sitting in a bar or cafe with Wi-Fi.) All this for 30$ a month. I did have to act like a complete S-head with the retention services guy as I already had a brand new phone from their biggest competitor in hand. Luckily I didn't use the other phone at all and got to return it without questions - especially after telling them about the new offer I got. 

I did quite a bit of shopping before this all happened and found out the 3rd biggest cell phone provider over here charges over 2 to 3 times what the 2 top providers charge for even less services. 

During the same shopping spree, I also got a 25 mB/s internet connection for 40$/month - unheard of to this day in my region. That has nothing to do with negotiating, though, as the second biggest internet provider has just installed a new fiber optics network in my neighborhood and have very aggressive pricing in order to claim their share of the market. They used to be second by far, and I have long sworn never to deal with them, but only fools never change their mind, and only a fool would say no to 10$ less a month for almost twice the speed and double -if not more- the download limit...

*Words to live by*: Shop, shop, shop, research, read reviews on the internet and shop again, then negotiate before you spend any money on anything worth money. Patience and frequent visits to the store can save you tons of money if you are patient enough to wait for crazy specials. As a quick example I got all my hiking boots, hiking shoes and my gore-tex jacket at 50% rebate, which is rare in outdoors shops. Just the jacket paid for more than the gas I needed to go back to these stores 4-5 times a year. In the past 6 years I have saved more than 10 000$ by shopping around and being patient.


----------



## Monocrom

StarHalo said:


> Smart phone or flip phone? I'm at $35/mo. for 500 mins unlimited data/text, gotta have the internet and GPS..



Basic, old-fashioned (LOL), one-piece cellphone. Part of a promotion you might say. Free phone. Pretty much nothing a month. Bare-bones phone. Then again, all I care about is using it as a communication device. (I know, I'm weird like that. )


----------



## Monocrom

Cataract said:


> it sounds like T-mobile has shady practices concerning customer service. If you can't accommodate your customers, then they shouldn't accommodate you. I have about 25 years of experience with serving clients and all forms of technical support and I can't remember the last time I lost a client unless they got better pricing elsewhere, but I never had such a drastic attitude towards my clients. If a company can't serve you well, they don't deserve your business. If they can't listen to you, they don't deserve your business. Seems like hey treated you in an insulting manner; like spitting in your face!



Yup! That's exactly what they did. I needed my phone that day to check in with someone. But imagine if I were running late for work? At a job where if you're No Show, No Call; you get fired on the spot? ... Oh, I know an excellent lawyer. T-Mobile would have been sued into being less greedy and scumbagish. The policy is still in place. Just a matter of time before someone is in that very position.


----------



## Norm

I think I'm guilty of taking this thread off topic, although some of you have attempted to include on topic content along with you cell phone comments, let's get back to "*Words to Live By*" - Norm


----------



## PhotonWrangler

PhotonWrangler said:


> We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.



...and I just ran across this guy tonight. He seems to be on to something.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

It's much easier to recognize when we've been transgressed, than it is to admit we've transgressed another.

~ Chance


----------



## Monocrom

I was channel surfing and stumbled onto the following from "The Talk" yesterday.

Blair Underwood was on, and gave some great advice that he was given as a young man, and which he credits greatly with having helped me to be such a success.

_*"Never go out with a woman who has less to lose than you, if you break up. And absolutely never date one who has nothing to lose."*_

He explained that the latter is how some men get trapped because some women intentionally get themselves pregnant. Now the guy is stuck paying for the baby and other bills. Plus, it often ruins two lives. His, and the baby's.

Though to be fair, he put it much better than I did. None of the women on "The Talk" got upset or even mildly disagreed with him.


----------



## zespectre

Swede74 said:


> "Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse."


What my grandfather used to say was "Remember, there ain't no situation so bad that you can't make it worse with a little effort." which was his variation of the "First rule of holes" which is "when you are in one...STOP DIGGING."


----------



## idleprocess

Never sleep with a divorcee that's two payments behind on her mortgage

Never eat cocktail weenies out a urinal no matter how big the bet


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

^ That reminds me of a sign I read above the urinal in a tavern once:

*Please don't throw toothpicks in the urinal. The crabs use them to pole-vault. *:eeew:

~ Chance


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

If you can't tell the difference between a beer and a urine sample during a D.U.I. drug test, you've had too much to drink.


----------



## climberkid

"The most dangerous risk of all - the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later."
and 
"The grass is greener where you water it."


-Alex


----------



## Cataract

Life is about the journey, not the destination
-I head or read that in different places in different forms

The journey of a thousand mile begins with one step
-Lao Tzu

“The only journey is the one within.” 
― Rainer Maria Rilke

​


----------



## Cataract

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of majority, it is time to reflect"
-Mark Twain


----------



## idleprocess

*Never trust the driving abilities of jerks that stuff HID lamps into reflector headlamps.*
I learned that this evening after nearly being T-boned by some yahoo that decided to swerve out of a left turn lane after I committed to turning left from the opposite direction. Ought to be grounds for a pre-emptive reckless endangerment charge - if they don't care about their ability to see more than 20' ahead of them they clearly don't care what obstacle they hit at speed.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

~ C.G.


----------



## Monocrom

Cataract said:


> Life is about the journey, not the destination
> -I head or read that in different places in different forms
> 
> The journey of a thousand mile begins with one step
> -Lao Tzu



"My feet hurt and I haven't gotten any where."


----------



## jtr1962

Cataract said:


> “The only journey is the one within.”
> ― Rainer Maria Rilke​


​I often use a variation on this theme when talking to people who go on three or four vacations a year. I tell them what's the point? You'll be the same person with the same problems when you come back, only now you'll have one more problem-paying the vacation bills. I can certainly see the value of taking a few major trips in a lifetime (if you can afford it) to see places which are really different from what you're used to, but I can't see the value of going to typical tourist traps. Seriously, I've asked some people what they do on these vacations, and I hear they spent them mostly shopping at the same stores as we have right here. Of course, more often than not they seem even more stressed and less relaxed than they did before the vacation. I really think people need to look inside first.


----------



## orbital

^^

Right on jtr...
_*
"Where you go,, there you are"*_


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

^
^

Nomatter where you go, there you are.

~ C.G.


----------



## Monocrom

jtr1962 said:


> I often use a variation on this theme when talking to people who go on three or four vacations a year. I tell them what's the point? You'll be the same person with the same problems when you come back, only now you'll have one more problem-paying the vacation bills. I can certainly see the value of taking a few major trips in a lifetime (if you can afford it) to see places which are really different from what you're used to, but I can't see the value of going to typical tourist traps. Seriously, I've asked some people what they do on these vacations, and I hear they spent them mostly shopping at the same stores as we have right here. Of course, more often than not they seem even more stressed and less relaxed than they did before the vacation. I really think people need to look inside first.



Personally, I go to Vegas once every few years. No shopping.

A bit of gambling. (Never more than I can afford to lose.) Shows, shows, and more shows. Walking the Strip. It's nothing like NYC ... Thank goodness.


----------



## ElectronGuru

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> You're not controlled by how much $ you make. You're being controlled by how much $ you spend.



Reminds me of: the more you have, the more you need.




Cataract said:


> Shop, shop, shop, research, read reviews on the internet and shop again,...



My shopping rule: the less work you did finding/choosing something, the less willing you should be to accept it. If it's that easy, someone already did the work and is going to charge you for it.


----------



## StarHalo

Monocrom said:


> Personally, I go to Vegas once every few years. No shopping.
> 
> A bit of gambling. (Never more than I can afford to lose.) Shows, shows, and more shows.



The key to Vegas is to not set a budget, but instead set a must-spend limit - a preset amount that you must spend the entirety of before the vacation ends. Too many people get caught up in budgeting and don't really make the most of their time; when that guy sees the giant margarita place, he just worries about his budget, whereas the must-spend guy thinks "welp, this money HAS to be spent.."


----------



## Monocrom

StarHalo said:


> The key to Vegas is to not set a budget, but instead set a must-spend limit - a preset amount that you must spend the entirety of before the vacation ends. Too many people get caught up in budgeting and don't really make the most of their time; when that guy sees the giant margarita place, he just worries about his budget, whereas the must-spend guy thinks "welp, this money HAS to be spent.."



Yup, that's my philosophy. I average one trip every 7 years and go all out. I'd feel like $#!% if I did that sort of thing yearly. Plus, as great as vacations can be, I just have a personal philosophy of wanting more than just vacation memories when I spend large sums of money too often. Brand new Omega Speedmaster vs. an extra trip to Vegas? No comparison. I'll take the watch. But that's just me. (Hell if I was normal, I wouldn't be a regular on a flashlight forum. :thumbsup


----------



## Cataract

jtr1962 said:


> [/LEFT]
> I often use a variation on this theme when talking to people who go on three or four vacations a year. I tell them what's the point? You'll be the same person with the same problems when you come back, only now you'll have one more problem-paying the vacation bills. I can certainly see the value of taking a few major trips in a lifetime (if you can afford it) to see places which are really different from what you're used to, but I can't see the value of going to typical tourist traps. Seriously, I've asked some people what they do on these vacations, and I hear they spent them mostly shopping at the same stores as we have right here. Of course, more often than not they seem even more stressed and less relaxed than they did before the vacation. I really think people need to look inside first.



+1000 People think they get away from their problems, even for a little while, but do not realize they actually take them along wherever they go.




Monocrom said:


> Personally, I go to Vegas once every few years. No shopping.
> 
> A bit of gambling. (Never more than I can afford to lose.) Shows, shows, and more shows. Walking the Strip. It's nothing like NYC ... Thank goodness.



There's nothing wrong with a healthy trip that will actually distract you. Most people who go on tons of trips just don't really get distracted anymore. I personally spend a week every year hiking and leave my problems aside for that whole week. 




We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them
Albert Einstein


The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Albert Einstein



​


----------



## Monocrom

Sadly stupidity has no limits either.


----------



## Cataract

Perhaps you should re-read the line


----------



## Monocrom

Darn it! Good thing I'm getting my eyes checked next week. (No joke.)


----------



## Cataract

The funny part in all this (in a worrying kinda way) is that you're being told by a guy who calls himself Cataract... no puns of ill-wishes intended.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Put your glasses on. Then you wont put gas in the bar-oil compartment of your chainsaw.  Yep, did it today.  Lucky for me I caught my mistake before I fired-it-up. 

~ Chance


----------



## Monocrom

It's no fun getting old. You'd think there'd be some sort of prize for it.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

I know what you mean Monocrom, youth is wasted on the young.

~ C.G.


----------



## Monocrom

So true ... I like what you did with that universal quote.


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

The grass is always greener over the septic tank.

A fool and his money are soon parted. A polititian and your money are harder to separate.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

'Tis better to hold your tongue and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

_-author unknown_


----------



## Burgess

Recently turned 60 years old.


If I knew I was gonna' LIVE this long,
I would've taken better care of myself !


----------



## Monocrom

Burgess said:


> Recently turned 60 years old.
> 
> 
> If I knew I was gonna' LIVE this long,
> I would've taken better care of myself !



Look on the bright side ... You're probably in better shape than I am, and I'm quite a bit younger.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Comparing yourself to others brings about discontentment. Or, If you're unhappy when you compare yourself to others, you're comparing yourself to the wrong people. Most of us don't need to look far to find someone much more worse-off. 
~ Me

~ C.G.


----------



## StarHalo

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Comparing yourself to others brings about discontentment.



"Once the stiff frames of estates had been broken, the 'self-identification' task put before men and women of the early modern era boiled down to the challenge of living 'true to kind' ('up with the Joneses'), of actively conforming to the emerging class-bound social types and models of conduct, of imitating, following the pattern, 'acculturating', not falling out of step, not deviating from the norm. 'Estates' as the locations of inherited belonging came to be replaced by 'classes' as the targets of manufactured membership. While the first were a matter of ascription, the membership of the second contained a large measure of achievement; classes, unlike estates, had to be 'joined', and the membership had to be continuously renewed, reconfirmed and tested in day-by-day conduct." - Zygmunt Bauman, _Liquid Modernity_


----------



## orbital

^

_If one can't follow their own path,, they're lost_




from me..


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Wear Sunscreen


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Thanks PW, Wear Sunscreen was most enjoyable. :thumbsup:

~ Chance


----------



## Cataract

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"
- Dunno where that one is from.

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...and you finish off as an orgasm. 
- George Carlin

[FONT=Times New Roman,Times][/FONT]"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain) [FONT=Times New Roman,Times]



[/FONT]


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Cataract said:


> Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"
> - Dunno where that one is from.



I'm guessing Gary Busey


----------



## Cataract

Extremely likely


----------



## idleprocess

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Comparing yourself to others brings about discontentment.


Especially when you're comparing yourself to the _brochure view_ of life's excruciatingly rare exceptions as so many in our society do.

What do I mean by _brochure view_? Look at how any product is promoted in a glossy brochure, website ad, or lengthy catalog description. One will see/read of its near-miraculous properties with almost no mention of its downsides. Compare that to the typically _curated_ view you get of life's phenomenal success stories that tell the tale however the individual prefers it told without the complete picture including the things they'd rather not be told - such as luck, deep personal faults, etc.

In our image-driven culture avoiding this trap is excruciatingly difficult even if you don't watch a lot of television because all this plausible-_enough_ fiction has altered your perception of what's normal and desirable in life.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> If you're unhappy when you compare yourself to others, you're comparing yourself to the wrong people.
> ~ Me
> 
> ~ C.G.





idleprocess said:


> Especially when you're comparing yourself to the brochure view of life's excruciatingly rare exceptions .........



Exactly!


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

Never eat 2 half pound bean burritos right before taking a college exam, unless you work well under pressure.


----------



## Cataract

"I can explain this to you; I can't comprehend it for you"
-Unknown


----------



## Solid Lifters

"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria." - Benjamin Franklin


----------



## Empath

The name "bacteria" wasn't coined until 1838, forty-eight years after Benjamin Franklin's death.
Benjamin must have been a far greater visionary than we thought.


----------



## Greta

Trample the weak, hurdle the dead.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

"What is best in life?"

~ Mongol General

* "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women."*

~Conan the Barbarian


----------



## Monocrom

Empath said:


> The name "bacteria" wasn't coined until 1838, forty-eight years after Benjamin Franklin's death.
> Benjamin must have been a far greater visionary than we thought.



In fairness, he never said it was THE Ben Franklin.


----------



## Monocrom

Greta said:


> Trample the weak, hurdle the dead.



Yeah ....... It's more fun than doing it the other way around.


----------



## Norm

Monocrom said:


> In fairness, he never said it was THE Ben Franklin.



Pardon? Solid Lifters posted a quote with Benjamin Franklin tacked on the end just what is Ben doing there if we're not supposed to think the quote is being attributed to him?

Norm


----------



## idleprocess

"The trouble with internet quotes is you can never be sure of their veracity."
--Abraham Lincoln


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

There's at least ten Benjamin Franklin's in L.A. CA.* Anyone of them could be Solid Lifter's drinking buddy. :buddies:

* http://www.intelius.com/results.php...&qc=Los+Angeles&qf=Benjamin&qn=Franklin&qs=CA

~ Chance


----------



## Norm

idleprocess said:


> "The trouble with internet quotes is you can never be sure of their veracity."
> --Abraham Lincoln


lovecpf


----------



## Monocrom

Norm said:


> Pardon? Solid Lifters posted a quote with Benjamin Franklin tacked on the end just what is Ben doing there if we're not supposed to think the quote is being attributed to him?
> 
> Norm



Sorry Norm, just a cheesy joke on my part.


----------



## Monocrom

Norm said:


> lovecpf



Best words to live by.


----------



## Cataract

idleprocess said:


> "The trouble with internet quotes is you can never be sure of their veracity."
> --Abraham Lincoln



ROFL

"Remember: Pillage first, THEN burn"
-Hagar the Horrible


----------



## PhotonWrangler

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But only if your aim is good.


----------



## Solid Lifters

Empath said:


> The name "bacteria" wasn't coined until 1838, forty-eight years after Benjamin Franklin's death.
> Benjamin must have been a far greater visionary than we thought.


Whoa! Nice info, there. I guess it was made up, then? 

Oh well, I just have to live what Abraham Lincoln said, more words to live by... 






Oh, looks like I got tree'd. :/


----------



## StarHalo

..oh, it's my turn, sorry: "The trouble with internet quotes is you can never be sure of their veracity." --Abraham Lincoln


----------



## Cataract

I'm going by theme again:

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
-Bertrand Russell 
(Explains why I'm so hesitant all the time)

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
Will Rogers 
(-Perfect description of my boss)

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Redd Foxx

How do you know what it's like to be stupid if you've never been smart?
Lou Holtz 
(And how exactly do you know what it's like to be stupid if you've always been smart?...)

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Rita Rudner
(... Oh yes, I do know about being both smart and stupid in sequence!)


----------



## Lite_me

Man who spend too much time in dog house..

..soon end up in cathouse.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Actually it's the other way around. :ironic:


----------



## Lite_me

^^ :laughing:


----------



## dc38

"Hey, Scooter says don't walk, drive! My daddy always said wheels were better than heels. Uh, he was paralyzed, though. Anyway, don't walk, drive!" 

Also: from Calvin and Hobbes
"MOOOOM, can you drive me into town?"
"No, Calvin. It's a perfectly nice day out! Why don't you walk? Why do you think God gave you feet?!"
"...to work the gas pedal."

Finally: also Calvin and Hobbes, mother and father
"IT WAS YOUR STUPID CHROMOSOME... YOURS!"
*thinks to self* "_I just live here..."_


----------



## Monocrom

"i wonder if I should shave my beard" ~ Abe Lincoln.


----------



## StarHalo

"She was a fast machine, kept her motor clean." - Albert Einstein


----------



## Cataract

"Your Honda Civic will never beat my GTO no matter what you do to it"
-Buddha responding to a letter from Yoda


----------



## dc38

Cataract said:


> "Your Honda Civic will never beat my GTO no matter what you do to it"
> -Buddha responding to a letter from Yoda



"gas mileage, you have, hm? Uncostly replacements parts you have, HM? Enlightenment from self emaciation and deprivation, HM? Much to learn, you have! One with the force, I am!"
-Yoda responding to above letter from Buddha


----------



## Cataract

dc38 said:


> "gas mileage, you have, hm? Uncostly replacements parts you have, HM? Enlightenment from self emaciation and deprivation, HM? Much to learn, you have! One with the force, I am!"
> -Yoda responding to above letter from Buddha



"Remember that the one who talks always is doing so while looking in the mirror; Using the force to make your little car go faster and fly over obstacles to reap all the bet money is acting like a student. Teaching is done by example and not by words alone. Do not forget that your peers will do as you do and seldom better and that is why I chose to do this so I could show people how easy it is to give all one's money away over and over again. Plus I needed a place to sleep with all those bugs migrating north and you know I do not have such a small stature as yours..."
Response from Buddha to a self-righteous letter from Yoda

(okay, that was really off-topic, mea culpa!)


----------



## StarHalo

"Wars for recognition take the place once occupied by revolutions; at stake in ongoing struggles is no longer the shape of the world to come but having a tolerable and tolerated place in that world; no longer are the rules of the game at stake but solely admission to the table." - Zygmunt Bauman


----------



## Cataract

Here's one I'm trying to formulate properly:

"Excessive profits are no longer the sole measure of a rogue enterprise's success; it is also now measured by the differential with opposing companies and therefore no longer relies on targeted profit-making strategies, but also general strategies that stunt other enterprise's and individual's monetary and personal growth."


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.

_Linus Van Pelt_


----------



## StarHalo

Cataract said:


> Here's one I'm trying to formulate properly:



It says, "It ain't just about you winnin', it's about making the other guy lose."


----------



## Cataract

StarHalo said:


> It says, "It ain't just about you winnin', it's about making the other guy*S* lose."



That's the basic idea and that's what I see going on. I'm just trying not to cut it so short and risk making it sound detached from life.


----------



## idleprocess

Cataract said:


> Here's one I'm trying to formulate properly:
> 
> "Excessive profits are no longer the sole measure of a rogue enterprise's success; it is also now measured by the differential with opposing companies and therefore no longer relies on targeted profit-making strategies, but also general strategies that stunt other enterprise's and individual's monetary and personal growth."



Find an effective way to print money. Make sure that ruinous failure is the price for attempting to use the same recipe. Success.


----------



## StarHalo

Cataract said:


> I'm just trying not to cut it so short and risk making it sound detached from life.



Fair enough. And what is a rogue enterprise?


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

You guys have deep wells,, impressive,, must go and contemplate this wisdom,, oooo bright shiny flickering images on TV.....sits down to watch......

~ C.G.


----------



## Monocrom

"Before you go about putting all your energy and efforts into catching a tiger by the toe ... Be sure to know in advance what you're going to do immediately after you catch him." ~ Me.


----------



## orbital

+

"If my answers frighten you, then you should cease asking scary questions"

Jules Winnfield




====================================}


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

One has to wonder if Mr. Wallace appreciated Jules yelling his name before he killed three people......not to mention yelling "WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE!?".:tsk:

~ C. G.


----------



## idleprocess

Monocrom said:


> "Before you go about putting all your energy and efforts into catching a tiger by the toe ... Be sure to know in advance what you're going to do immediately after you catch him." ~ Me.



I watch domestic cats chasing squirrels, rats, and other semi-dangerous prey and wonder if they have a _decisive_ and _expedient_ plan for dealing with their quarry in the unlikely event they catch it.


----------



## Cataract

StarHalo said:


> Fair enough. And what is a rogue enterprise?



A way to be polite and point at companies that literally rob us blind (such as banks)




orbital said:


> +
> 
> "If my answers frighten you, then you should cease asking scary questions"
> 
> Jules Winnfield
> 
> ====================================}




Didn't know about that one, but I often say "If you don't like the answer, then don't ask the question"

...which reminds me of one I came up with a long time ago and now use so often I forgot to mention it

"If you don't want to live with the solution, then live with the problem" 
(I most often say that to people who keep complaining about their job and answer they're not looking for another one when I ask. Shuts them up for good :devil




idleprocess said:


> I watch domestic cats chasing squirrels, rats, and other semi-dangerous prey and wonder if they have a _decisive_ and _expedient_ plan for dealing with their quarry in the unlikely event they catch it.



I doubt they actually do. You sig line is a good one, BTW


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

orbital said:


> +
> 
> "If my answers frighten you, then you should cease asking scary questions"
> 
> Jules Winnfield





Cataract said:


> Didn't know about that one,



It's a line from Quentin Tarantino's film Pulp Fiction. 

~ C.G.


----------



## idleprocess

Cataract said:


> I doubt they actually do. You sig line is a good one, BTW



It's often attributed to Pascal. It's something I often run across when doing technical writing or attempting to decode someone else's _verbose_ process.


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

It's not that the wind is blowing, it's what the wind is blowing. -Ron White

There's more than one way to skin a cat. (Unfortunetely, none of them are very popular.)

If you're a proponent of carbon sequestration, don't hold your breath.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

One that some people live by, but I detest, Shop till you drop. Thanksgiving day I'll be enjoying family, food, and good beer. Black Friday? Not a chance I'll be participating. 

~ Chance


----------



## fyrstormer

Lite_me said:


> Man who spend too much time in dog house..
> 
> ..soon end up in cathouse.





PhotonWrangler said:


> Actually it's the other way around. :ironic:



No, it works both ways. No sense staying committed to someone who puts you in the doghouse too often.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

I've been married 28 years and my wife has never put me in the doghouse,, I can find it all by myself thank you. 

~ Chance


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

When asked if she had ever considered divorce, Billy Graham's wife said, "No, I've never considered divorce, but I've thought about murder many times."


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Please pass the homemade stuffing and gravy.

~ Chance oo:


----------



## Empath

Some posts' attempts to redirect the thread toward political commentary and discussion have been removed. Those discussions can be discussed freely on our Underground board.


----------



## gadget_lover

If no offense is given, none should be taken. 

If no one means to insult you, you are not insulted.

If he does not mean to cut you off, he's not an idiot, just careless. Do you get mad at someone who trips?

Daniel


----------



## dc38

There are always two groups on either side of a river. Whenever a boat passes by, one side argues that the ship is moving to the left. The other will argue that it's moving to the right. Only the ones who choose to climb aboard will say that it is moving _​forward._


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Drive as though your life depends on it.

~ Chance


----------



## dc38

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Drive as though your life depends on it.
> 
> ~ Chance



Taken any which way, this is a good quote. +1!


----------



## zespectre

once upon a time (late teens) I had broken up with my girlfriend. Looking back now it was silly teen stuff, but devastating at the time. My grandfather joined me on the back porch, told me about the first girl who broke his heart, and said "Don't worry, the next one will be BEAUTIFUL...she always is".

Took me years to understand that one.


----------



## Cataract

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Drive as though your life depends on it.
> 
> ~ Chance



:twothumbs



dc38 said:


> Taken any which way, this is a good quote. +1!



:twothumbs:twothumbs

My personal philosophy is:

If you're going to do it, do it right or don't do it at all. 

(Also applies to driving)


----------



## Cataract

zespectre said:


> once upon a time (late teens) I had broken up with my girlfriend. Looking back now it was silly teen stuff, but devastating at the time. My grandfather joined me on the back porch, told me about the first girl who broke his heart, and said "Don't worry, the next one will be BEAUTIFUL...she always is".
> 
> Took me years to understand that one.



Funny, it didn't really happen that way for me, but after my first two heartbreaks... completely different story! I think I'm a slow learner when it comes to women.


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

Drive defensively.
This is the exact opposite of what most people think. Most people confuse defensively with offensively. Offensive driving, like most people do (thinking they are driving defensively), means driving as if everyone is out to get you and you must strike first. Defensive driving involves fewer suicide missions to save two seconds of driving time.


----------



## dc38

Words to live 'buy', especially in this time of year:

Never buy for the enthusiast something in their field of interest, especially if it is from a typical general market assortment. If you do, at least personalize it to add some sentimental value. 

-me.

I've had SO many flashlights given to me as presents, many of which are 3aaa's and coin cell battery powered. I appreciate all presents, no matter how small. However, I have seen the shadows of grimaces on the faces of others who have received something that applies to their hobbies - RC enthusiasts getting cheapo aaa cars that they have countless of, fishermen who receive impractical lures and rods, hunters who receive ANOTHER animal call or clock or range finder, etc. While SOME thought is put into these gifts, there should've been at least an extra step taken to sentimentalize the items especially since many of them are generally available in brick and mortar stores. In regards to 3aaa 9led lights...I'm glad the kids in my YG love them.


----------



## Norm

One post deleted, let's keep religion and politics out of the discussion, both topics usually lead to heated discussion, please post in the underground - Norm


----------



## idleprocess

Hooked on Fenix said:


> Drive defensively.
> This is the exact opposite of what most people think. Most people confuse defensively with offensively. Offensive driving, like most people do (thinking they are driving defensively), means driving as if everyone is out to get you and you must strike first. Defensive driving involves fewer suicide missions to save two seconds of driving time.



Acknowledge the _big numbers_, such as the realities of light timing, your all-too-finite attention span, the true average speed of a given roadway under given conditions, and reasonable expectations of your fellow drivers. Do not routinely extract ~100% performance from your brakes and also leave some margin ahead of you. Plan ahead by looking down the road for predictable events such as slowing traffic - this can include peering through the car immediately in front of you - and react accordingly. Be decisive in your actions without being aggressive; this includes remaining committed to mistakes when an abort would pose a hazard to yourself or others.

The idea is to live somewhere in the middle most of the time. Drive faster than average all the time and you find yourself getting in the habit of tailgating, executing low-margin lane-changes, and otherwise driving like every other car on the road is merely an obstacle. Drive too slow and you _are_ a moving obstacle on the road, wasting others' time, and in similar danger of being in an accident as the driver moving too fast.

I also wish people would learn to recognize the nature of sensual perception and the crippling effect of distraction. Just because something enters your field of vision, generates an audible sound, produces detectable motion, etc is no guarantee you're going to _perceive it_ if you're too busy texting, fiddling with the radio, disciplining your children from the driver's seat, daydreaming, or otherwise not dedicating mental bandwidth to the task of driving. What works well for one person (holding an engrossing conversation from the passenger seat, adjusting the radio, etc) may not work well for you, _and you need to know this_.


----------



## Cataract

dc38 said:


> Words to live 'buy', especially in this time of year:
> 
> Never buy for the enthusiast something in their field of interest, especially if it is from a typical general market assortment. If you do, at least personalize it to add some sentimental value.
> 
> -me.
> 
> [...]



Buy presents based on people's needs or interests in a field they know much less than you do. If that is not possible, then buy something that has a limited lifetime so they won't remember forever your [email protected] gifts. 
-Me, mixed with some wisdom from an ex-girlfriend. 




idleprocess said:


> Acknowledge the _big numbers_, such as the realities of light timing, your all-too-finite attention span, the true average speed of a given roadway under given conditions, and reasonable expectations of your fellow drivers. Do not routinely extract ~100% performance from your brakes and also leave some margin ahead of you. Plan ahead by looking down the road for predictable events such as slowing traffic - this can include peering through the car immediately in front of you - and react accordingly. Be decisive in your actions without being aggressive; this includes remaining committed to mistakes when an abort would pose a hazard to yourself or others.
> 
> The idea is to live somewhere in the middle most of the time. Drive faster than average all the time and you find yourself getting in the habit of tailgating, executing low-margin lane-changes, and otherwise driving like every other car on the road is merely an obstacle. Drive too slow and you _are_ a moving obstacle on the road, wasting others' time, and in similar danger of being in an accident as the driver moving too fast.
> 
> I also wish people would learn to recognize the nature of sensual perception and the crippling effect of distraction. Just because something enters your field of vision, generates an audible sound, produces detectable motion, etc is no guarantee you're going to _perceive it_ if you're too busy texting, fiddling with the radio, disciplining your children from the driver's seat, daydreaming, or otherwise not dedicating mental bandwidth to the task of driving. What works well for one person (holding an engrossing conversation from the passenger seat, adjusting the radio, etc) may not work well for you, _and you need to know this_.



Beautiful words, dude. If only they had people read this and pass an exam on it just once a year, the road might be a slightly more pleasant place to be. My favorite passages:

*Plan ahead by looking down the road for predictable events*
Everyday I see people zooming into the exact same area traffic stops every single day and most of them go through those areas every day. It's as if gaining one cat length would bring them to destination 10 minutes earlier when, in fact, that short distance is traveled in less than half a second at normal speed. 

*Peering through the car immediately in front of you*
I always do that, but it's getting more and more difficult with the growing number of SUVs and cars with higher back ends, plus windows seem to be shrinking so much we can't even make eye contact with drivers anymore. I wish governments recognized this and passed a law on minimal through visibility...


----------



## Monocrom

Cataract said:


> *Peering through the car immediately in front of you*
> I always do that, but it's getting more and more difficult with the growing number of SUVs and cars with higher back ends, plus windows seem to be shrinking so much we can't even make eye contact with drivers anymore. I wish governments recognized this and passed a law on minimal through visibility...



In certain parts of New York, if the driver ahead looks up and sees you making eye-contact with him in his rear-view mirror; he's liable to jump out and angrily confront you for staring at him.


----------



## sticktodrum

gadget_lover said:


> If no offense is given, none should be taken.
> 
> If no one means to insult you, you are not insulted.
> 
> If he does not mean to cut you off, he's not an idiot, just careless. Do you get mad at someone who trips?
> 
> Daniel



Brilliant. Thank you for posting this. It helped me more appropriately place some thoughts, and I appreciate it.


----------



## Cataract

Monocrom said:


> In certain parts of New York, if the driver ahead looks up and sees you making eye-contact with him in his rear-view mirror; he's liable to jump out and angrily confront you for staring at him.



Agreed that New York is definitely not a good reference for that but when traffic is slow enough to stare at each other in the rear view mirror, it is not all that necessary to see 2 cars lengths ahead. I do that mostly on highways where I know traffic could suddenly slow down or stop or to evaluate if I should let go of the gas when coming up to a light in moving traffic; situations where the driver ahead better be keeping his eyes on the road.


"A machine can only be as good as the people who made it... or the ones using it. Most problem are with people, not machines. The machine does exactly what is was built for, even if its actual function differs from the original design." 
-Me 

And I have to repeat this one as it was useful to me yesterday for the first time in a long while:

"When all else fails, read the instructions"
-Unknown


----------



## Ashift

Never attribute to malice what that which is adequately explained by stupidity. Robert J. Hanlon


----------



## PhotonWrangler

1) Try a warm reboot
2) Try a cold reboot
3) Try percussive maintenance


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Ashift said:


> Never attribute to malice what that which is adequately explained by stupidity. Robert J. Hanlon



Hi Ashift,:welcome:

I drove about 100 miles a day (doing multi-stop delivery work in the city) for almost 30 years. When I finally learned not to take other drivers stupidity as an act of malice personally directed at me, my ability to remain calm was greatly enhanced. 

Of course the flip side of that coin is when someone's stupidity affects the quality of your life,, then it's much harder to not take personally. A guy had a couple of beers 19 months ago, rear ended my family while we were stopped for traffic.....my wife is still in constant pain. :shakehead

~ Chance


----------



## Monocrom

"Treat a dame like a lady, and a lady like a dame." ~ Frank Sinatra.


----------



## Random Dan

Cataract said:


> Agreed that New York is definitely not a good reference for that but when traffic is slow enough to stare at each other in the rear view mirror, it is not all that necessary to see 2 cars lengths ahead. I do that mostly on highways where I know traffic could suddenly slow down or stop or to evaluate if I should let go of the gas when coming up to a light in moving traffic; situations where the driver ahead better be keeping his eyes on the road.
> 
> 
> *"A machine can only be as good as the people who made it... or the ones using it. Most problem are with people, not machines. The machine does exactly what is was built for, even if its actual function differs from the original design." *
> -Me
> 
> And I have to repeat this one as it was useful to me yesterday for the first time in a long while:
> 
> "When all else fails, read the instructions"
> -Unknown


You have obviously never watched any of the Terminator movies.


----------



## Cataract

Random Dan said:


> You have obviously never watched any of the Terminator movies.



Well, that's pure fiction, but if I _had_ to step into that one:

I AM a terminator fan. The machines did do exactly what they were built for and Skynet turned against the humans simply because its actual function did differ from the intended design (i.e: the definition of who's the enemy was for the machine a variable, while for the humans it was more like a constant. Becoming sentient is also an example of built being different from design and does not actually mean the machine is better than those who built it; they just didn't expect it.) Pretty much all other machines built afterwards have been built by machines, taking out the "people" out of the equation, therefore making better machines, all in the spirit of the movie (but I ain't saying those machines are 100% better than humans, since the original one WAS built by humans anyways) :touche:


----------



## StarHalo

You can never get enough of what you don't need, that's why it doesn't make you happy.


----------



## bluemax_1

Can't believe no one's mentioned this one with all the 'Yoda' quotes;
> Do, or do not. There is no try - Yoda

One that my dad used to say that took me a while to fully appreciate;
> If something's worth doing, it should be worth doing well.

> "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

> The courage to change the things I can,

> And wisdom to know the difference."


> Always keep in mind the line "More trouble than you're worth" and don't cross that line, whether it's a job, relationship or whatever - Me

And finally, here are a couple of lines that are my own abbreviations, along with the stories the lines came from. Interestingly enough, I encountered both of these decades ago in Reader's Digest, where they were merely short anecdotes placed to take up the space after an article or story, but these actually stuck with me.

> "Fish and frying pans"
The short story goes that a daughter moving away from home is making notes to learn how her Mom makes her favorite dishes, and is curious about the way her Mom fries fish. Her Mom first cuts the fish in 2, then fries one half first and then the other, so she asks her Mom why it's done that way. Her Mom replies that she's not entirely sure, but she's always done it this way, it's how her own mother used to do it and she thinks it has something to do with sealing in the flavor. The daughter eventually gets around to asking her grandmother the reason for cutting the fish in 2 before frying the halves separately. Her grandmother laughs and says, "Well, back then, we used to have fish on Fridays and in order to feed the whole family, your grandfather would buy a big fish. Money was tight back then, and we only had a small 8-inch frying pan, so I had to cut the fish in half and fry first one half, then the other".

This story taught me to question things and actually THINK about what I'm doing, ESPECIALLY when I'm told, "Oh, because it's always been done that way", and I've quite often found that "The way it's always been done" is, fairly often, either not the most effective/efficient way to do something, or it's a completely outmoded way of doing something. To remind myself of this, I repeat the line, "Fish and frying pans"


The line;
> "Don't forget the golf balls"

The story;


> A professor stood before his philosophy class with a few simple items on the table before him. He picked up a very large, empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
> 
> The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
> 
> Of course, the sand filled up the last remaining little spaces. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'Yes.'
> 
> The professor then produced two bottles of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, filling the empty space between the sand.
> 
> The students laughed.
> 
> 'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life." "The golf balls are the important things: your family, your children, your health, your friends. If everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. "
> 
> "The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car and your other possessions." "The sand is everything else---the small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
> 
> The same goes for life." "If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you." "Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18 holes."
> "There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
> One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled and said, "I'm glad you asked." "The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers"


Another lesson it took me a while to appreciate, but I'm trying.


Max


----------



## rje58

Words to live by for the 21st Century:

"Milquetoast. Be a milquetoast! Baaaa-a-a-a! Baaaa-a-a-a!"


----------



## idleprocess

Has not every moment of your life lead you to this very moment in time?


----------



## ElectronGuru

Relationships are relationships are relationships. -mrs guru


----------



## ven

“Past is dead
Future is uncertain;
Present is all you have,
So eat, drink and live merry.” 
― Albert Einstein


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

No Honey, those pants don't make you look fat.

~ Chance


----------



## 0dBm

Yes, there is a round chambered. Now get off my lawn!


----------



## PhotonWrangler

0dBm said:


> Yes, there is a round chambered. Now get off my lawn!



Forget the dog; beware of the owner! :laughing:


----------



## Cataract

bluemax_1 said:


> [...]
> > "Fish and frying pans"
> The short story goes that a daughter moving away from home is making notes to learn how her Mom makes her favorite dishes, and is curious about the way her Mom fries fish. Her Mom first cuts the fish in 2, then fries one half first and then the other, so she asks her Mom why it's done that way. Her Mom replies that she's not entirely sure, but she's always done it this way, it's how her own mother used to do it and she thinks it has something to do with sealing in the flavor. The daughter eventually gets around to asking her grandmother the reason for cutting the fish in 2 before frying the halves separately. Her grandmother laughs and says, "Well, back then, we used to have fish on Fridays and in order to feed the whole family, your grandfather would buy a big fish. Money was tight back then, and we only had a small 8-inch frying pan, so I had to cut the fish in half and fry first one half, then the other".
> 
> This story taught me to question things and actually THINK about what I'm doing, ESPECIALLY when I'm told, "Oh, because it's always been done that way", and I've quite often found that "The way it's always been done" is, fairly often, either not the most effective/efficient way to do something, or it's a completely outmoded way of doing something. To remind myself of this, I repeat the line, "Fish and frying pans"
> 
> [...]
> Max



Life has shown me that things are often done a certain way for a good reason. Some things are outdated simply because of questionless emulation, but some other things are often questioned and done differently only for a lesser quality end product, so I say:

"There's always a good reason why things are done in a specific way." (but now you made me realize I need to add 
"...no matter what that reason is, it was a good reason and it is always worth investigating to see if change is needed or not."

This just made me formulate a way of thinking I always applied:
"Repeating without questioning leads to repeated mistakes or erroneous beliefs."


----------



## jforrest

"He's a humble man,...with lots to be humble about."----Winston Churchill


----------



## Monocrom

"I have no problem with going back to prison." ~ Every dad greeting the first young man stopping by to take out his little girl.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.


----------



## Steve K

PhotonWrangler said:


> You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.



what's Joe W. been doing since those days? I loved his music. ...or does this phrase pre-date the album?


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Steve K said:


> what's Joe W. been doing since those days? I loved his music. ...or does this phrase pre-date the album?



I think the phrase goes back to the Bennett Cerf days but I'm not positive.


----------



## Cataract

I can explain it for you, but I can't understand it for you
-Proverb 

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
-Robert McCloskey

If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there
-Proverb 

Criticizing another's garden doesn't keep the weeds out of your own
-Proverb


----------



## rje58

I thought Joe W. was "The smoker you drink, the player you get." I always liked the James Gang and Barnstorm more than I enjoyed his work with the Eagles. 



Steve K said:


> what's Joe W. been doing since those days? I loved his music. ...or does this phrase pre-date the album?


----------



## StarHalo

Cataract said:


> I can explain it for you, but I can't understand it for you
> -Proverb



Reminds me of the Dorothy Parker quote about culture..


----------



## Cataract

Reminds me of one my medieval fencing teacher often said:

"You can always take the fencer out of the competition, but can you take the competition out of the fencer?"

I should note that it was real important to not be aggressive at all in those classes as:
1 - A two-handed sword can be real scary to see coming at you 
2 - A two-handed sword can deal a lot of damage even if completely blunt (we cut through entire melons with blunt swords)
3 - People willing to engage in such an activity are _very_ hard to come by

In the hopes we don't hang onto this specific subject too long, here are a few more lessons we learned in those classes:

"All fights usually end with hand-to-hand wrestling"
"Striking first has nothing to do with winning"
"The element of surprise only lasts as long as the first strike"
"When you're attacking, you are open to receive a blow on all other sides"
"Pick your fights very wisely; fighting an enemy that gets easily beaten by someone you beat easily does not mean you will win."


And finally, the biggest lesson I have learned in years and years of martial arts and also studying sciences and working in a very technical field - one of the biggest lessons of life I have come to actually master some of the time:

"Learning the lesson once, twice or thrice does not mean you will remember it... especially when the real fight comes. You will only remember it 100% of the time when it has become a reflex and then you might not be able to explain it to the next guy anymore because it will be just a reflex." (and this applies to any form of discipline, all career types included.)


[EDIT]: Here's a bonus:
"Nothing beats experience, but good reflexes can sure do a good job at it... sometimes."


----------



## Cataract

Double-tap (rule #2)


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

That reminds me of the sword fight between Robert and Archibald in the movie _Rob Roy.

~ _Chance


----------



## Cataract

That was a great display of wisdom and experience VS all and anything else. Very few ever become that wise or experienced before they are too old to fight...


----------



## idleprocess

Cataract said:


> "Learning the lesson once, twice or thrice does not mean you will remember it... especially when the real fight comes. You will only remember it 100% of the time when it has become a reflex and then you might not be able to explain it to the next guy anymore because it will be just a reflex." (and this applies to any form of discipline, all career types included.)



There is a lot to that. Take typing - good typists _can't even tell you where the keys are_. Think about that ... someone that can bang out 70 words per minute has difficulty telling you where the keys are visually even though they know where they are by muscle memory.

Another trite saying comes to mind - _I know a lot of thing, but couldn't tell you everything I know_. Without context to invoke the recall, your ability to methodically strip-mine your memory is difficult. I struggle with this often when I have to train people, write technical documents, or explain problems ... without it right in front of me, it takes considerable effort and multiple attempts to recall all the key details. Often when approaching a problem I only solve periodically, I might be able to plan but the next step and forge ahead on something approaching _faith_ that I will be able to proceed all the way through resolution.


----------



## bluemax_1

Cataract said:


> [EDIT]: Here's a bonus:
> "Nothing beats experience, but good reflexes can sure do a good job at it... sometimes."


Along those lines, here's something I learned from Bruce Lee. He didn't say it, but I learned it from him nevertheless.

"It doesn't matter what the hell you know if I can hit you before you can even see me move".


Max


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

^
^
I can remember everything,, just not at the same time. 

~ Chance


----------



## StarHalo

Walk and talk with philosopher Slavoj Žižek on ecology and/as ideology and/as religion:


----------



## Cyclops942

You can't roller-skate in a buffalo herd.
You can't go swimming in a baseball pool.
You can't change film with a kid on your back.
You can't drive around with a tiger in your car.
You can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch.


Thank you, Roger Miller. RIP.


----------



## Norm

Cyclops942 said:


> You can't drive around with a tiger in your car.



Your obviously not old enough to remember.







Norm


----------



## Cyclops942

Norm said:


> Your obviously not old enough to remember.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Norm


Actually, I am. The lyrics to the song are also in reference to this ad, I'm sure. Considering that the song was on an album released in 1965, the timing is right.


----------



## dc38

"For the man who must shovel his driveway in the morning, the first snowflake falls like a catastrophe, like a meteor. It signals the ruthless barrage of millions of tiny slow moving projectiles, the onslaught of the relentless frozen army. With a din the younger defenders cheer victoriously while the heads of their households set their jaws in grim resignation as the lifeless soldiers dash themselves on the ground without hesitation. Each flake with his own unique identity, yet none of them will be remembered. Soon, the bodies of the fallen will blanket the barren earth; it is the task of the survivor to move them. To survive in battle is to be victorious, but what victory is this that the fallen will sacrifice themselves to bring the victor to toil?" 

Celebrate not the falling of snow, for hidden toil you shall find and hard labor you shall know. - Me


----------



## dc38

"People are like snow. While in the form of snow, we each have our unique identities. We are not the first to come, nor will we be the last. Some flakes are larger and more noticeable than others. Some fall faster than others. However, when all is said and done, we melt away, back into the vast waters from whence we came. We no longer have an identity, each drop becomes one and the same." - Me


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

^
That's beautiful man. :mecry:

~ Chance


----------



## Cataract

dc38 said:


> "For the man who must shovel his driveway in the morning, the first snowflake falls like a catastrophe, like a meteor. It signals the ruthless barrage of millions of tiny slow moving projectiles, the onslaught of the relentless frozen army. Soon, the bodies of the fallen will blanket the barren earth; it is the task of the survivor to move them. To survive in battle is to be victorious, but what victory is this that the fallen will sacrifice themselves to bring the victor to toil?"
> 
> Celebrate not the falling of snow, for hidden toil you shall find and hard labor you shall know. - Me



I'm definitely repeating that one to everyone who still marvels at the snow!

I usually say something like:
"What beauty? All the money we pour into snow removal, the cold that bites fingers away, the people who fall to a heart attack from shoveling, the accidents that kill people? Snow is not beauty, it is proof we live in a hostile world"

You're more optimistic than me so you found prettier words...



dc38 said:


> "People are like snow. While in the form of snow, we each have our unique identities. We are not the first to come, nor will we be the last. Some flakes are larger and more noticeable than others. Some fall faster than others. However, when all is said and done, we melt away, back into the vast waters from whence we came. We no longer have an identity, each drop becomes one and the same." - Me


----------



## PhotonWrangler

The less you talk, the better you can listen.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

PhotonWrangler said:


> The less you talk, the better you can listen.



I'm sorry Photon, what did you say? :devil: 

Someone once said, "There's a reason God made you with two ears, but only one mouth."

~ Chance


----------



## Cataract

"A truly wise person uses few words"

Yup...


----------



## dc38

Speaking from experience,

"A person's eloquence should at the very least, match, if not exceed his own ignorance", but he should remember that "the more you exhale, the less air you will find to breathe". - me


----------



## dc38

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> ^
> That's beautiful man. :mecry:
> 
> ~ Chance



Thanks, CG. I suppose it might have something to do with my namesake being a psalmist


----------



## PhotonWrangler

I hear and I forget.
I see and I remember.
I do and I understand.


----------



## dc38

PhotonWrangler said:


> I hear and I forget.
> I see and I remember.
> I do and I understand.


I feel and I am hurt.
I smell and need a bath.


----------



## dc38

Authority is not the subjugation of others, nor is it the permission to evade responsibility. Rather, to wield authority is the subjugation of one's self to others and to responsibility. Furthermore, to command authority is fundamentally different than to demand it. Demanding is something you do to people who respect your position. Commanding is something you do for people who respect YOU. - Me?


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

When skating on thin ice, your speed is your safety. (This does not apply to trying to get out of a speeding ticket.)

Polititians are like diapers; they need to be changed often and for the same reason. -Mark Twain


----------



## nbp

"If you don't use a flashlight, you'll probably fall off a cliff, get hurt, or die". - Hooked on Fenix

^^One of my all time favorite lines here on CPF! I have spent considerable time looking for it in its original context but have never been able to find the thread it was posted in. Pure gold.


----------



## bluemax_1

nbp said:


> "If you don't use a flashlight, you'll probably fall off a cliff, get hurt, or die". - Hooked on Fenix
> 
> ^^One of my all time favorite lines here on CPF! I have spent considerable time looking for it in its original context but have never been able to find the thread it was posted in. Pure gold.


LOL! I remember that (but not which thread it was in).

The discussion had been about the dangers of not having adequate illumination and just prior to that comment, there had been a couple of posts, one about a hiker found dead at the bottom of a cliff, another post about someone hiking near a cliff, but with a flashlight, and a little story about a CPF'er who was on vacation and went out to take a whiz in the woods without a flashlight. When he woke up the next day, in the daylight he realized that unbeknownst to him the night before, he had been whizzing at the edge of a cliff. A couple of steps further forward and he wouldn't have been around to tell the tale.

That comment you posted came shortly thereafter.


Max


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

nbp said:


> "If you don't use a flashlight, you'll probably fall off a cliff, get hurt, or die". - Hooked on Fenix
> 
> ^^One of my all time favorite lines here on CPF! I have spent considerable time looking for it in its original context but have never been able to find the thread it was posted in. Pure gold.



That was in a post about a trip when I hiked up Mt. Whitney. In several sections of that trail, if you step off the trail, it's a long way down. Just before Consultation Lake, there is a stretch of trail usually covered by snow and ice where if you slip, you will alternate between sliding on ice and hitting rock for about 200 feet. Just before Trail Crest, there is a 1,500 foot snow and rock covered slope called the chute that if you slip or misstep, you will slide the full 1,500 feet before hitting the rocks at the bottom. Just past Trail Crest, you go down in elevation about 500 feet before a hairpin turn with about a 2,000 foot drop off. If you can't see that turn at night, you'll miss it and you won't survive that fall. Then there's the windows area on the last mile or so before the summit. The trail is a 5 foot wide bridge of boulders piled up on the side of the mountain next to the pinacles to your right. On your left, you have a 2,000+ foot drop-off. On your right, between the pinnacles, it's 3,000 feet to fall. The "trail" is a 5 foot wide bridge of uneven boulders. This is at around 14,000 feet in elevation, so a lot of people are a bit wobbly and don't have the best coordination at this point. Most people are nervous doing this section in broad daylight with trekking poles and the typical 60 mph constant breeze. At night, without a light, you would be crawling this section to avoid death. That was the context of that quote.


----------



## nbp

Ahhh, yes. It makes sense in that context but it is hilarious when repeated alone, hahaha. :laughing:


----------



## StarHalo

The stock market has forecast nine of the last five recessions. - Paul Samuelson


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Anything is detachable if you pull hard enough

_-a redditor_


----------



## Monocrom

StarHalo said:


> The stock market has forecast nine of the last five recessions. - Paul Samuelson



Feels like one long recession since late 2002 to me.


----------



## Cataract

StarHalo said:


> The stock market has forecast nine of the last five recessions. - Paul Samuelson



Only 9???



Monocrom said:


> Feels like one long recession since late 2002 to me.



"We do not see economic expansion, mostly because it's all we're looking for, but we sure do feel the lack of money at any time because that's precisely what we're afraid of. This also applies to anything else."
-Me.


----------



## jtr1962

Monocrom said:


> Feels like one long recession since late 2002 to me.


Same here except substitute 1985 for 2002. I don't recall there _ever_ being a glut of decent jobs available as was the case for my parents in the 1950s through at least the mid 1970s. Unfortunately, way too many people nowadays think if the stock market is going up the economy is doing good. Maybe for the few percent on top, but not for most of us.


----------



## Cataract

jtr1962 said:


> Same here except substitute 1985 for 2002. I don't recall there _ever_ being a glut of decent jobs available as was the case for my parents in the 1950s through at least the mid 1970s. Unfortunately, way too many people nowadays think if the stock market is going up the economy is doing good. Maybe for the few percent on top, but not for most of us.



Kinda funny... I usually find jobs when the economy is going down and never got laid off because of a recession. Then again, I can't say I ever had multiple offers at the same time like people had back in those days.

My personal opinion on the stock market ups and downs is that it is driven mostly by fear: someone says a recession is coming and everyone starts selling, effectively creating a recession that might have never happened.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Only fools and experts try to "time the market", and they all lose money.

~ Chance


----------



## Monocrom

jtr1962 said:


> Same here except substitute 1985 for 2002. I don't recall there _ever_ being a glut of decent jobs available as was the case for my parents in the 1950s through at least the mid 1970s. Unfortunately, way too many people nowadays think if the stock market is going up the economy is doing good. Maybe for the few percent on top, but not for most of us.



The '90s were a good decade of prosperity. Not a great decade. But a good one. I miss the '90s.


----------



## Monocrom

Cataract said:


> My personal opinion on the stock market ups and downs is that it is driven mostly by fear: someone says a recession is coming and everyone starts selling, effectively creating a recession that might have never happened.



I blame the speculators. Back when oil was going up, up, and away... Price-hikes every single day until it got beyond ridiculous, the cause was due to the speculators saying it was going to keep going up. Honestly, had those damn speculators simply shut the Hell up, prices would have gone down much sooner than they actually did.


----------



## Cataract

Monocrom said:


> I blame the speculators. Back when oil was going up, up, and away... Price-hikes every single day until it got beyond ridiculous, the cause was due to the speculators saying it was going to keep going up. Honestly, had those damn speculators simply shut the Hell up, prices would have gone down much sooner than they actually did.



Would be fun if we could do an experiment: shut the speculators up for a decade and see what changes. I bet everything would just even out and mostly stay that way...


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Lead, follow, or get out of the way!

~ C.G.


----------



## StarHalo

Actually I discovered the leading market indicator many years ago: Walk down the cereal isle of your local grocery store and take note of how many, and what kind of, toys are offered in cereal boxes. 

Somewhere under a bed in Kansas I have an entire necklace of digital watches that came out of Honeycomb cereal boxes, kids definitely can't do that now..


----------



## Cataract

I see many impressive things in the aerospace manufactures I do service for. So many parts being built and it only goes faster and faster. I was chatting with an operator in a QC department one day and we were talking about how much production was only going up alll the time and also about the fact that more and more recycled materials have to be used due to resource limits. Then it hit us; production will only go up until we can't get the resources for production anymore because there will be no more usable recyclable materials. That's when I said:

"One day we will be back to using sticks and stones and look back and ask: So... what exactly was the purpose of technology?"


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face. -Mike Tyson


----------



## StarHalo

To find other people incomprehensible is to abandon the search for understanding, and thus to abandon history. - Timothy Snyder, _Bloodlands_


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Hooked on Fenix said:


> Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face. -Mike Tyson


----------



## StarHalo

Never try to look cool and learn something at the same time. - Ta-Nehisi Coates


----------



## dc38

What do you get when you stick a kebab skewer through an eyeball?

What you get is 'eye-kew', and hopefully it will be enough to let you know to never do that again. 
Moral: LERN FRUM YOR MISsDAKES.


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied. -Proverbs 13:4


----------



## Cataract

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months"
-Oscar Wilde


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.


----------



## Cyclops942

PhotonWrangler said:


> Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.


:lolsign:


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

PhotonWrangler said:


> Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.


 
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words. 

~ Chance






Why yes, that is my leather couch.


----------



## Cataract

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words.
> 
> ~ Chance
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Why yes, that is my leather couch.



Nice massage pillow you got there!


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

There's more than one way to skin a cat, but it's not going to like any of them.


----------



## StarHalo

Opinions are like demo tapes; I don't want to hear yours. - Stephen Colbert


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Don't drink then drive, donkey!

~ C.G.


----------



## StarHalo

Where's George Zimmerman when you need him? - Bill Mahr, on the Justin Bieber arrest


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

When I first heard of Mr. Biebers arrest, all I could think of was ,, _Please report he was tased, please report he was tased...


_Oh well, maybe next time.

~ Chance


----------



## Norm

What's going on here Guys? there seems to be a total disregard for the thread topic - Norm


----------



## Tana

Was this said already:

Better to be rich for the whole life than poor for three days...


----------



## Tana

Old but wise:

If you see bomb technician running - try to keep up...


----------



## idleprocess

Tana said:


> Old but wise:
> 
> If you see bomb technician running - try to keep up...



Related, from _Schlock Mercenary_:
"A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on"


----------



## Cataract

"A car is only as good as the driver "
-Me, over a decade ago. 

"I've Seen too many kids redlining it fall hundreds of yards behind me only because they where aiming for their engine's red line and no one was racing; just merely trying to catch the next green light. I definitely wouldn't want to be the idiot in the modded Civic getting eclipsed by the smart driver in the stock Tercel!"
-Me, after writing the previous one.

"To finish first, you must first finish"
-Likely quoting Rick Mears, but I hear it from Bobby Rahal


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Cataract said:


> "A car is only as good as the driver "
> -Me, over a decade ago.
> 
> "I've Seen too many kids redlining it fall hundreds of yards behind me only because they where aiming for their engine's red line and no one was racing; just merely trying to catch the next green light. I definitely wouldn't want to be the idiot in the modded Civic getting eclipsed by the smart driver in the stock Tercel!"
> -Me, after writing the previous one.
> 
> "To finish first, you must first finish"
> -Likely quoting Rick Mears, but I hear it from Bobby Rahal



.....Don't forget to, *Keep the dirty side down*. 

~ Chance


----------



## Tana

Never underestimate the human stupidity...


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. 

~ Lord Action


----------



## StarHalo

I was moving through the grocery store the other day when an older lady cut across my path, and apologized; just off the top of my head I blurted out, "Don't worry about it, I was in a hurry yesterday, that's why it's already tomorrow."


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails.

-John Maxwell


----------



## dc38

That which is spoken becomes but whispers of the wind. Even that inscribed in stone may crumble into dust. Seek not the glory of fame and valor, it is but a chapter in a book. Rather, Seek the author of that history, and gain the wisdom that surpasses time. - me, the psalmist.


----------



## dc38

The confidence of the young soon becomes the cautions of the old.
-me, in quarter life crisis


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

This one's from a friend who was in the army: If a marine is told to jump over a wall, he does it. If a man in the Army is told to jump over a wall, he looks over the wall first before jumping.


----------



## inetdog

Hooked on Fenix said:


> This one's from a friend who was in the army: If a marine is told to jump over a wall, he does it. If a man in the Army is told to jump over a wall, he looks over the wall first before jumping.



I was at a demo put on by the local sheriff's canine unit many years ago. As part of it the set up a section of six foot high fence on a stand. One by one the deputies had their dogs jump over the fence.
The last dog, a cute blonde German Shepherd, put her paws up on the fence, then just backed away. After several attempts by her handler to get her to jump she crawled under the fence instead. 
Later in the demo we found out she was the drug sniffing dog.


----------



## Cataract

^^ you 2 guys crack me up!


They say that everything has been done in the 70's. Must be true since I was born in the 70's!


----------



## Labrador72

Cataract said:


> They say that everything has been done in the 70's.


That's a new one on me! You live and learn... even when I'm supposed to know something because that's the decade I was born in!


----------



## Cataract

Labrador72 said:


> That's a new one on me! You live and learn... even when I'm supposed to know something because that's the same decade I was born too!



Yup, I'm just discovering that myself;
-My father is a retired musician and says everything in music has been done in the 70's. Now that I'm making a 70's rock compilation, I can see he's so right -so many song I though were 80's are actually older than me!!!. 
-Looking at technology also reveals pretty much the same as the books I studied in electronics were mostly written in the 70's, with a few updates. As a closer example, computer architecture has only expanded on what was created back then, but with some add-ons! Electronics is pretty much the same, but smaller components and smaller processors simply means more complicated electronics, all based on the exact same principles...

The reason we didn't know is that we don't have the reference the older crowd have since we were so young.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Youth is wasted on the young. 

~ George Bernard Shaw


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Youth is wasted on the young.
> 
> ~ George Bernard Shaw



+1 on that!


----------



## StarHalo

Contempt of youth is youth itself. - Friedrich Nietzsche


----------



## Cataract

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Youth is wasted on the young.
> 
> ~ George Bernard Shaw



I am no longer too young to deny that!


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

It's better to act, than to react. 

~ C. G.


----------



## dc38

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> It's better to act, than to react.
> 
> ~ C. G.


It used to be that sometimes when I closed my eyes, I started to see these lights. I told myself to never go towards these lights as it'd probably mean I'd sleep forever. One day, I did something stupid; I went into the lights. And then I woke up as a flashaholic.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

You know? The more you scratch, the more it's gunna itch. :hairpull:

~ Chance


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep, to gain that which he cannot lose." -Jim Elliot (missionary to and martyr of the Auca Indians of Ecuador)


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Forgive & forget.

~ c.g.


----------



## Monocrom

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Forgive & forget.
> 
> ~ c.g.



"One out of Two isn't bad." ~ Me


----------



## Cataract

Here is an attempt at translating a somewhat extreme saying we have here (originally in French):

- Tie your tuque down with haywire

(note for those who are not familiar with the term: a tuque is a winter hat)


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Think twice before giving advice. Better yet, don't. Just listen. 

~ Chance


----------



## Cataract

Take my advice, I'm not using it...


----------



## PhotonWrangler

From the instructions on a spray bottle of eyeglass cleaner that I had - 

_Remove glasses before spraying. _


----------



## Monocrom

PhotonWrangler said:


> From the instructions on a spray bottle of eyeglass cleaner that I had -
> 
> _Remove glasses before spraying. _



You know some idiot didn't.... And then sued because it was missing that warning label. Even worse, that idiot was likely the winner of the law suit.


----------



## Cataract

Monocrom said:


> You know some idiot didn't.... And then sued because it was missing that warning label. Even worse, that idiot was likely the winner of the law suit.



Yup, probably the same for the children's cough syrup that mentioned "Do not operate heavy machinery"


----------



## fyrstormer

"Today's half[heart]ed workarounds will be tomorrow's time-honored traditions."

- Me, primarily in regards to computer programming, but applicable in most aspects of life


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Not really words to live buy,, just one of life's unanswered questions:

Why isn't there enough time to do it right the first time, but enough time to do it right the second time?


~ Chance

BINGO! The first time in almost four years and 1,300 posts the time stamp has been spot-on.


----------



## knegolf

I call this one "Soviet Russian Diagnosis"

When failing to find the problem with something, hit it with the largest hammer available. At least now you know why the damn thing doesn't work and can justify buying a new one.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

knegolf said:


> I call this one "Soviet Russian Diagnosis"
> 
> When failing to find the problem with something, hit it with the largest hammer available. At least now you know why the damn thing doesn't work and can justify buying a new one.



A corollary: If you can't find the short, put in a bigger fuse and look for smoke.


----------



## wavicle

_If all else fails, read the instructions._


----------



## StarHalo

rolling bump


----------



## dc38

To Hit something: to impact or be impacted by something.
To Miss something: to gloss over or lose out on an opportunity for something.

One of the only things that is possibly inconvenient whether you hit it or miss it is a traffic signal.


----------



## StarHalo

One man's trash..


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Take-out! "Hey Boo Boo, look at this. Meals on wheels!"

~C.G.


----------



## Steve K

PhotonWrangler said:


> A corollary: If you can't find the short, put in a bigger fuse and look for smoke.



it's funny now, but I knew a guy who troubleshot aircraft using that method. I don't know why anyone ever let him near the aircraft.


----------



## knegolf

Steve K said:


> it's funny now, but I knew a guy who troubleshot aircraft using that method. I don't know why anyone ever let him near the aircraft.



I work as an electrician, and have come across a couple of odd ways that people have dealt with fuses that always blow. The most extreme one was a home made fuse that had been machined from a solid piece of brass. It was installed in a 230v system and was meant to replace a 16A fuse. Kind of defeats the purpose.


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

If you guys don't mind, I'd like to quote C.S. Lewis:
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to noone, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up in a casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe,dark, motionless, airless-- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, inpenetrable, irredeemable."

"If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

"You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream."

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for a bird to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."

"Friendship is unnecesary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

"Nothing is more likely to destroy a species or a nation than a determination to survive at all costs."

"To what will you look for help if you will not look to that which is stronger than yourself?"

"If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning."

"Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive."

"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point."

"Education without values, as useful as it is, seems to make man a more clever devil."

"The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are."

"Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn."

"What does not satisfy when we find it, was not the thing we were desiring."

"If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place for correction and it's not so bad. Imagine a set of people all living in the same building. Half of them think it is a hotel, the other half think it is a prison. Those who think it is a hotel might regard it as quite intolerable, and those who thought it was a prison might decide that it was really surprisingly comfortable. So that what seems the ugly doctrine is one that comforts and strengthens you in the end. The people who try to hold an optimistic view of this world would become pessimists: the people who hold a pretty stern view of it become optimistic." 

"You cannot make good men by law: and without good men, you cannot have a good society."

"You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you."

"Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely excercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience."

"It is only when you are asked to believe in reason coming from non-reason that you must cry Halt. Human minds. They do not come from nowhere."


----------



## PhotonWrangler

To clarify my statement about putting in a bigger fuse, I was thinking in terms of circuit boards,* not *house (or airplane!) wiring.


----------



## Cataract

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Not really words to live buy,, just one of life's unanswered questions:
> 
> Why isn't there enough time to do it right the first time, but enough time to do it right the second time?
> [...]



I'd put it more realistically like this, by personal observation of how so many people go by doing things:
Why isn't there enough time to do it right the first time, but enough time to get it wrong hundreds of times? 

Could be added to the long list of Murphy's law, but this one really enhances the original (and only real) one...




knegolf said:


> I call this one "Soviet Russian Diagnosis"
> 
> When failing to find the problem with something, hit it with the largest hammer available. At least now you know why the damn thing doesn't work and can justify buying a new one.



Some of my client's employees have tried this and I still fixed the machine. Then, they tried again 12 months later and I fixed it even better. That old machine still works better than newer ones. It's like the saying "make it idiot proof and they'll make a better idiot", but that time I turned it back on them 





PhotonWrangler said:


> To clarify my statement about putting in a bigger fuse, I was thinking in terms of circuit boards,* not *house (or airplane!) wiring.



In other words, let it blow, then the source of your problem will be easy to find. 

It also works for bigger things than electronics, but one needs to think ahead in regards of the costs of the repair, how much more replacement could cost and how much money is lost during the down time. The lesson of the day:

Shortcuts cost money. -Me

Here's a translation from the French:
I've lost my time trying to save time -Beau Dommage


----------



## Cyclops942

Short cuts make long delays.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Never laugh at your spouse's decisions. Remember, you're one of them.


----------



## Kestrel

PhotonWrangler said:


> From the instructions on a spray bottle of eyeglass cleaner that I had -
> 
> _Remove glasses before spraying. _



"Do not change batteries underwater"

(In the instructions for my waterproof camera)


----------



## Cataract

PhotonWrangler said:


> Never laugh at your spouse's decisions. Remember, you're one of them.



Also:
Be kind to your children; they'll pick your retirement home one day...


----------



## StarHalo

A man never finds happiness until he's married, and then it's too late. - Yakima Canutt


----------



## dc38

Many people choose to drown themselves in ignorance and folly. Others choose to die parched and desperately thirsting for wisdom and knowledge. Either way, it won't matter what they drink if they choose to drink of the wrong cup, if any at all. - Me


----------



## Cataract

The major breaks in a machine are easy to find but cost a lot on parts. The small ones that take an eternity to troubleshoot but cost nearly nothing on parts.
-Me


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

A painful lesson learned a long time ago: Never put a bunch of loose batteries in the same pocket as your keys.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

It costs more to fix it later.


----------



## idleprocess

PhotonWrangler said:


> It costs more to fix it later.


But that's long after you got big bonus money for completing the project and the problems were hidden just long enough.


----------



## Cataract

My boss told me not to screw it up, but yelled at me when the machine fell apart in front of the clients.


----------



## inetdog

Cataract said:


> My boss told me not to screw it up, but yelled at me when the machine fell apart in front of the clients.



An important part of any demo is knowing what is broken so that you do not try to show it.
Many years ago I saw a kiosk demo of a DEC branded laptop that touted their special "Help" key on the keyboard.
But if you pressed it during the demo the machine crashed.


----------



## StarHalo

No one wants the reality game to become bigger to than one's childhood imprints. - Timothy Leary


----------



## PhotonWrangler

The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten.


----------



## idleprocess

PhotonWrangler said:


> The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten.


_Quantity has a quality all its own._
(Often attributed to Joseph Stalin)


----------



## dc38

The secret to financial and business success, one must become the standard to which the public conforms.
- to do so, one must conform to the interests of the general public in order to create that standard to which others conform. 

Therefore, conformity is not only the means for survival, but conformity is also success.


----------



## StarHalo

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. - Robert A. Heinlein


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Can Robert Heinlein do all of these things? :thinking:


----------



## inetdog

Unfortunately not, as he is dead now....


----------



## jtr1962

StarHalo said:


> A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. - Robert A. Heinlein


Most people can't do _one_ of those things even passably well, let alone all of them.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Things he left out - 

Change a tire, jump-start a car, unclog a toilet.


----------



## Monocrom

PhotonWrangler said:


> Things he left out -
> 
> Change a tire, jump-start a car, unclog a toilet.



Make love to a woman. Raise a child properly. Sharpen a knife. Shoot straight with a rifle and a handgun. Put food on the table.... Anyone else remember back when the utterly idiotic term "Baby-Daddy" didn't exist.


----------



## dc38

Monocrom said:


> Make love to a woman. Raise a child properly. Sharpen a knife. Shoot straight with a rifle and a handgun. Put food on the table.... Anyone else remember back when the utterly idiotic term "Baby-Daddy" didn't exist.



Here are some words to live by...". . . There's there and here's here. Where in the hell do you want to be?"


----------



## Monocrom

dc38 said:


> Here are some words to live by...". . . There's there and here's here. Where in the hell do you want to be?"



Check out my Sig line.... That's where I want to be. In one of those "spots."


----------



## Isabella80

The talent is in the choices


----------



## StarHalo

A man’s gotta make at least one bet a day, else he could be walking around lucky and never know it. - Jim Jones


----------



## dc38

As humans, we often times lose sight of ourselves; our hunger and thirsting for knowledge soon becomes the treacherous lust for knowledge.


----------



## dc38

Monocrom said:


> Check out my Sig line.... That's where I want to be. In one of those "spots."



Every man is an island. That being said, wouldn't introspection and self meditation be a form of psychosis?


----------



## Monocrom

dc38 said:


> Every man is an island. That being said, wouldn't introspection and self meditation be a form of psychosis?



Honestly.... Yes.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. This way you're a mile away, and you have his shoes.


----------



## Cataract

PhotonWrangler said:


> Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. This way you're a mile away, and you have his shoes.



I've seen so many people critic the way other people handle incoming requests and done so myself... until I was doing their job. Guess what? There almost is a number of excellent reasons you can't even fathom why the job is done one way and those reasons are completely incomprehensible to those who haven't been there. You definitely have to walk the path before you criticize how people walk it.

There ya go... my version of the old saying;
"You have to walk the path before you even have the right to criticize how others are walking it." -ME


----------



## PhotonWrangler

If you're not part of the solution you're part of the precipitate.


----------



## thedoc007

Consulting: If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made in prolonging the problem.


----------



## Lite_me

The only thing that is constant is change.


----------



## Monocrom

Lite_me said:


> The only thing that is constant is change.



Except for Death and Taxes.


----------



## Ted Roadstar

Life is too short for dull knives, cheap Scotch or indecision...me


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Wherever you go, there you are.


----------



## Steve K

PhotonWrangler said:


> Wherever you go, there you are.



That was one weird, funny movie. 

http://www.tor.com/blogs/2011/07/wherever-you-go-there-you-are-a-look-back-at-buckaroo-banzai


----------



## bshanahan14rulz

You know what they say about assuming...

It makes an "***" out of "u" and "Ming"



"Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking... ...Just a moment... Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking... ...Just a moment...."



Speak softly and beat your enemies closer with a large stick.


----------



## StarHalo

If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions. - Albert Einstein


----------



## Cataract

StarHalo said:


> If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions. - Albert Einstein



He must have come up with that observing service guys like me


----------



## Slumber

"The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less"

Socrates


----------



## orbital

+


*Double check your tire pressures*


----------



## Lite_me

Make sure you first write the address on the envelope, and correctly, before you put the stamp on it.


----------



## StarHalo

I had no sense of a world where morality depends, almost exactly, upon the size of your arsenal and your distance from the conflict. - Ta-Nehisi Coates


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Lite_me said:


> Make sure you first write the address on the envelope, and correctly, before you put the stamp on it.



Been there, done that.


----------



## StarHalo

This is that thing you throw peanuts at, take a shot sucka. - Iggy Pop's answering machine message


----------



## Cataract

If your car shakes, check if you're moving. If not, check if the engine is on. If not, you might not care or even notice the car is shaking.



StarHalo said:


> This is that thing you throw peanuts at, take a shot sucka. - Iggy Pop's answering machine message



ROFL. No idea what is the actual intended meaning, but that's gotta make for a confused message.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Something profound I saw on a blog tonight - 

_You can't reason somebody out of a position they didn't reason themselves into._


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

You shouldn't expect to talk your way out of a situation you worked your way into.

~ Chance


----------



## BarryG

Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have, the harder it is to breath...





Barry


----------



## StarHalo

In England when we hear that a load of American kids are running around in school corridors, jumping about and screaming, we just assume there's been another massacre. - Russell Brand, on _High School Musical_


----------



## thedoc007

daimleramg said:


> Three rules in life...



Word of advice, this is a family-friendly forum. Your post is going to be deleted or edited either way, might as well do it yourself and save the mods some trouble.


----------



## Cataract

Unplugging the toaster does not mean it's not too hot to touch.


----------



## bluemax_1

If you're not sure if you need it but one mishap could screw up the rest of your life, wear protection.

That applies in all cases, whether it's eye protection, a helmet... or any other kind of protection.


Max


----------



## StarHalo

The English are a people who have no interest in a work of art until they are told it's immoral. - Oscar Wilde


----------



## Monocrom

"English food is perfectly good.... As long as the English chef was trained in France." ~ Me.


----------



## orbital

+

*If you're the first person at a stoplight,, 
your sole function in the universe at that moment in time is focus on the lights in front of you *





_________________________________________________________________________________________


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

+

And when you're driving the first car at the light, green means [email protected]@K both ways before proceeding into the intersection. Cuz, some people don't know red means stop.

~ Chance


----------



## orbital

+



you can't teach common sense




_________


----------



## bluemax_1

+

Common sense and common courtesy aren't common anymore.


Max


----------



## Cataract

It is often better to be first at the red light than last through the green light. -Me


----------



## inetdog

Cataract said:


> It is often better to be first at the red light than last through the green light. -Me


Although both positions can be dangerous if you react too fast or too slow.


----------



## Cataract

inetdog said:


> Although both positions can be dangerous if you react too fast or too slow.



That really depends on traffic conditions VS driver judgement and skill. The two biggest items on driving safety IMO.


----------



## SkenosTech

"I can make it good, fast, or cheap...pick any two."


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like a banana.


----------



## idleprocess

PhotonWrangler said:


> Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like a banana.


Sounds like a joke that an English major would tell since the punchline has multiple interpretations.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Ships aren't built to stay in port.


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

Common Expression:
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
Southern Version:
It's okay to say anything you want about a person as long as you end it with "bless his/her heart".


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Hooked on Fenix said:


> Southern Version:
> It's okay to say anything you want about a person as long as you end it with "bless his/her heart".



So _that's _how it works! :laughing:


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

My people are from the South. It's actually the other way around,, You start the sentence by saying "Oh that Jim! Bless his heart."

~ Chance


----------



## bluemax_1

Hooked on Fenix said:


> Common Expression:
> If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
> Southern Version:
> It's okay to say anything you want about a person as long as you end it with "bless his/her heart".


LOL
That makes me think of that country song "I Pray For You".


Max


----------



## Cataract

Buy cheap, try, re-try, hide, give it a second chance and throw it away in a fury.
Buy quality, try, use, re-use, re-task, buy a cheap one and throw it away, re-use the good one again, buy a mid-quality one, use the good one as a spare, hide it, re-task it, re-use again and then get rid of the damn thing 'cause you're sick and tired of seeing it!. That's exactly when the mid-quality one breaks. 
And then, for some reason, we can't find a high or mid-quality one so off we go and buy an effin' cheap one to start the cycle anew...


----------



## Monocrom

"You cry only once if you buy quality." ~ Anonymous.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Work is hard enough. Why make it more so by buying cheap tools?

~ Me, Chauncey Gardiner


----------



## PhotonWrangler

You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.


----------



## Monocrom

"Before spending your time catching flies.... ask yourself why you want to catch them in the first place." ~ Me.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Words unspoken, never have to be "eaten".

~ Chance


----------



## Cataract

Monocrom said:


> "Before spending your time catching flies.... ask yourself why you want to catch them in the first place." ~ Me.



I must have been drunk or just worried about Firefox using too much disk space; I was reading "Before spending your time* caching files*...."


----------



## gadget_lover

A word to all married people out there....

When the grass starts to appear greener on the other side of the fence, stay home and fertilize more.


Dan

( Credit to Howie Nave, MC at the Improv comdey club in Harvey's Casino Lake Tahoe last sunday, and again last night. )


----------



## LGT

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn't, go out, find it, and kill it.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler


----------



## Lite_me

^....


----------



## Monocrom

"Macho acts of stupidity do *NOT* impress women.... Some are just curious to see how far you're willing to go to hurt yourself." ~ Me.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

It's bad luck to be superstitious


----------



## LGT

PhotonWrangler said:


> If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler



And don't be fooled by their painted smiles.

Good one Photon Wrangler.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Be humble, for you are made of earth. Be noble, for you are made of stars.

—Serbian Proverb


----------



## ElectronGuru

Didn't find it until looking for something else? Its because you limited your search to save
time - and didn't. Throw out your assumptions and shortcuts and find it the first time.


----------



## StarHalo

"Nothing is more annoying in the ordinary intercourse of life than this irritable patriotism of the Americans. There is a patriotism which mainly springs from the disinterested, undefinable, and unpondered feeling that ties a man's heart to the place where he was born. This instinctive love is mingled with a taste for old habits, respect for ancestors, and memories of the past; those who feel it love their country as one loves one's father's house. ... It is itself a sort of religion; it does not reason, but believes, feels, and acts. Some nations have in a sense personified their country..." - Alexis de Tocqueville


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks


----------



## inetdog

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will spend every afternoon out on his boat drinking beer.


----------



## Monocrom

Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for only awhile. Set him on fire.... He'll be warm for the rest of his life.


----------



## MartinC

That is awesome, thanks.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.

-_Mike Tyson_


----------



## orbital

+



*haste just ends up being a hassle*

-me


----------



## StarHalo

"The House Telegraph", _Punch_ magazine, London, December 18th, 1858:

A Telegraph all over London? The wires brought to within 100 yards of
every man's door? A Company established to carry it out?

Well - I don't know. There's a good deal to be said on both sides.

It certainly would be pleasant to be within five minutes of such a
message as "Dine at the Club with me at seven;" or "SQUATTLEBOROUGH
JUNCTIONS" at six premium; I've sold your hundred, and paid in the
cash to your account;" or "Little stranger arrived safe this morning
at twelve; mamma and baby doing well;" and one might occasionally be
grateful for such a warning as "KITE and POUNCE took out a writ
against you this morning - Look alive;" or "JAWKINS coming to call on
you; make yourself scarce."

But think on the other hand of being within five minutes of every
noodle who wants to ask you a question, of every dun with a "little
account;" of every acquaintance who has a favour to beg, or a
disagreeable thing to communicate. With the post one secures at least
the three or four hours betwixt writing the letter and its delivery.
When I leave my suburban retreat at Brompton, at nine A.M., for the
City, I am insured against MRS. P.'s anxieties, and tribulations, and
consultings, on the subject of our little family, or our little bills,
the servants' shortcomings, or the tradesmen's delinquencies, at least
till my return to dinner. But with a House Telegraph, it would be a
perpetual tete-a-tete. We should be always in company, as it were,
with all our acquaintance. Good gracious, we should go far to outvie
SIR BOYLE ROCHE's famous bird, and be not in two places only, but in
every place within the whole range of the House-Telegraph at once.
Solitude would become impossible. The bliss of ignorance would be at
an end. We should come near that most miserable of all conceivable
conditions, of being able to oversee and overhear all that is being
done or said concerning us all over London! Every bore's finger would
be always on one's button; every intruder's hand on one's knocker;
every good-natured friend's lips in one's ear.

No - all things considered, I don't think society is quite ripe for
the House-Telegraph yet. If it is established I shall put up a plate
on my door with "No House-Telegrams need apply."


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Wait - the post office delivered within three to four hours of a letter being mailed?!


----------



## StarHalo

PhotonWrangler said:


> Wait - the post office delivered within three to four hours of a letter being mailed?!



Handing it off to the postman maybe? I'm not really up on pre-Civil War-era English mail service..


----------



## Monocrom

A fascinating article. Thanks for posting that.


----------



## Burgess

Yes, indeed . . . .

London had Several Deliveries of the post (Mail) every day !

Often would received a written letter in reply
to a question you posted earlier that same day !


This was nicely explained in an Annotated version
of a Sherlock Holmes adventure i recently read.


Quite Amazing -- Life in the Late 1800's in London.

:wave:
_


----------



## idleprocess

PhotonWrangler said:


> Wait - the post office delivered within three to four hours of a letter being mailed?!



One suspects that Victorian London was smaller than it is today and that the royal Post had fewer, better-heeled customers as well.


----------



## Cataract

PhotonWrangler said:


> Wait - the post office delivered within three to four hours of a letter being mailed?!



It definitely explains many old letter conversation I read that did not seem to take course over much less than a week despite distances sounding more than a few miles. The Greeks could have letters delivered by hand within record times by rolling a scroll into a tube and giving it to a runner. Thus is the origin of relay races, since they would actually relay the tube for very long distances, and also the origin of "courrier". This term, however dates from much closer times according to some dictionary:
1350–1400; < Middle French cour ( r ) ier < Italian corriere, equivalent to corr ( ere ) to run (< Latin currere ) + -iere < Latin -ārius -ary; replacing Middle English corour < Anglo-French cor ( i ) our, Old French coreor < Late Latin curritor runner; see current, -tor

We still very often refer to mail as "courrier" over here. It is greatly time we stick to calling it "the post", though. Much more representative of modern speeds in comparison.


I definitely like to see how some people could already tell of the shortcomings of how future technology would be used decades and one or more centuries before they came true. Unfortunately nowadays people are afraid of solitude like the plague and SMS, facebook and twitter have taken over millions lives to throw them into the pit of meaninglessness...

Shakespeare had this to say:
"It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing." (MacBeth)

When you think of most TV shows and even movies, no one could pin it down better...


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Cataract said:


> We still very often refer to mail as "courrier" over here. It is greatly time we stick to calling it "the post", though. Much more representative of modern speeds in comparison.



:twothumbs A picture comes to mind of a snail "courier" tied to a post outside the local tavern.

Here he is, back on his way. Rider.....nowhere to be found.


http://thenectarcollective.com/tags/snail-mail-collective/page/3/


~ Chance


----------



## Empath

We need to put the thread back on topic. Feel free to start a new thread on its newly acquired topic, and return this one to "Words To Live By".


----------



## PhotonWrangler

You learn from your mistakes.

By this logic that makes me the smartest person in the world.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

It's good to learn from your mistakes. However, it's cheaper and sometimes a lot less painful, to learn from the mistakes of others.

~ Chance


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> It's good to learn from your mistakes. However, it's cheaper and sometimes a lot less painful, to learn from the mistakes of others.
> ~ Chance



Indeed. That's why we have the "Things I've learned the hard way" thread!


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

PhotonWrangler said:


> You learn from your mistakes.
> 
> By this logic that makes me the smartest person in the world.





Chauncey Gardiner said:


> It's good to learn from your mistakes. However, it's cheaper and sometimes a lot less painful, to learn from the mistakes of others.
> 
> ~ Chance





PhotonWrangler said:


> Indeed. That's why we have the "Things I've learned the hard way" thread!



PW, How many posts do you have in that thread? :laughing:

~ Chance


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> PW, How many posts do you have in that thread? :laughing:
> 
> ~ Chance



More than I'd like to admit.


----------



## Peace Train

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you're not in this world to live up to mine.
~ Bruce Lee


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

Never tell someone that your wife has gained weight, mostly due to the baby (when she is pregnant). Eventually, she's going to find out.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

^ Hooked,

Could you, by chance, have posted the above in the Things I've Learned The Hard Way thread? :laughing:

~ Chance


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> ^ Hooked,
> 
> Could you, by chance, have posted the above in the Things I've Learned The Hard Way thread? :laughing:
> 
> ~ Chance



Since it was a friend who said it, I didn't learn it the hard way. He might though.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Hooked on Fenix said:


> Since it was a friend who said it, I didn't learn it the hard way. He might though.



I made that mistake once though. Word to thew wise: if you're not positive, don't say anything. Better yet, avoid the subject altogether.


----------



## nbp

"If a dog catches a rabbit, there was something wrong with that rabbit."

- My Grandpa to my Dad when he was little. 

"If you're going get married, marry a girl that smiles a lot."

-My Grandpa to me not so long ago. One of the better pieces of dating advice I've gotten. Haha


----------



## Cataract

*“Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”*


-Arthur Conan Doyle (and I thought it was an original Spock quote...)


----------



## StarHalo

Cataract said:


> -Arthur Conan Doyle (and I thought it was an original Spock quote...)



Elementary..


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Seen on Reddit - 

_A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.
_
-Ancient Greek proverb


----------



## Peace Train

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

~Plato


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Never respond, "It's not the pants." When asked by your wife if they make her look fat.

~ Chance


----------



## Peace Train

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Never respond, "It's not the pants." When asked by your wife if they make her look fat.



A better response is, "Are you saying they don't?" with a smirk and inquisitive look


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Define better. :laughing:

~ Chance


----------



## Peace Train

Try it and see.


----------



## Cataract

"The best way to find out the hard way is to let someone else find out the hard way" -Me


----------



## Peace Train

Cataract said:


> "The best way to find out the hard way is to let someone else find out the hard way" -Me



LOL I hope that wasn't directed at what I was saying to Chauncey.  The advice was more of a direct diffusing rather than an escalation of the matter.

Of course: if you're used to being on the passive side of things, you could get another question of a different type directed at you.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> It's good to learn from your mistakes. However, it's cheaper and sometimes a lot less painful, to learn from the mistakes of others.
> 
> ~ Chance





Cataract said:


> "The best way to find out the hard way is to let someone else find out the hard way" -Me



First!

~ Chance


----------



## Cataract

Peace Train said:


> LOL I hope that wasn't directed at what I was saying to Chauncey.  The advice was more of a direct diffusing rather than an escalation of the matter.
> 
> Of course: if you're used to being on the passive side of things, you could get another question of a different type directed at you.



Only you know if you were asking someone else to try it for you  Still, your post was the inspiration for that one  Here's another one inspired from your posts

"I love to learn from other's experience. It makes me look smart while the others look dumb. I then look even smarter in comparison"

And something I have learned myself and have said multiple times at work lately:

"People mostly only learn when they smash their face hard enough in the wall that they are bleeding. Therefore, I have stopped wasting my time and let them smash their face in the wall to wait until they actually ask me for the correct course of action. This is the one way I am sure they actually listen to what I have to say and apply my advice for themselves. It is also the only way they actually learn anything despite my best efforts."


----------



## Peace Train

Cataract said:


> Only you know if you were asking someone else to try it for you  Still, your post was the inspiration for that one



Haha I never suggest anything that I haven't personally and repeatedly experienced before. One of the reasons I didn't give a direct answer has to do with allowing people to come to their own conclusions. I've personally said this phrase and others many times over the years to a variety of women. (I deleted the explanation of what this phrase actually communicates to women after further contemplating what you say in the third box below...because I 100% agree that besides allowing someone to come to their own conclusions, sometimes people choose to learn the _hard_ way. We can all make our own mistakes until each of us is ready, willing, and able to choose another path. Thanks for the reminder.)





Cataract said:


> Here's another one inspired from your posts
> 
> "I love to learn from other's experience. It makes me look smart while the others look dumb. I then look even smarter in comparison"



Ahhh, be careful my friend. That was inspired from _your perception_ of what you think I said based upon _your own_ life experiences, and not what was actually said nor intended. Once again, I won't share based upon conjecture, but upon my own experience. 





Cataract said:


> And something I have learned myself and have said multiple times at work lately:
> 
> "People mostly only learn when they smash their face hard enough in the wall that they are bleeding. Therefore, I have stopped wasting my time and let them smash their face in the wall to wait until they actually ask me for the correct course of action. This is the one way I am sure they actually listen to what I have to say and apply my advice for themselves. It is also the only way they actually learn anything despite my best efforts."



Agreed. Point taken. Thanks again for sharing your wisdom.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

~ C.G.


----------



## Cataract

Peace Train said:


> [...]
> 
> Ahhh, be careful my friend. That was inspired from _your perception_ of what you think I said based upon _your own_ life experiences, and not what was actually said nor intended. Once again, I won't share based upon conjecture, but upon my own experience.



I didn't base this on what you meant (I was joking anyways), but on the fact that it reminded me of moments when there's a bunch of people trying to solve a problem and someone decides to try something radical. I normally step aside (unless I'm convinced it will work or can guarantee them it won't) and see what they find out. I've gained a lot of knowledge while not being to blame for mistakes that cost time or money. Works great when someone wants to bring the hammer to a 40k$ machine and then I really look like the smarter one when they fail.


----------



## Cataract

Not quite exactly words to live by, but more of an expression I invented a couple of year back and hope to hear it make it into the global lexicon:

"You need more guts than brains to..." and complete the sentence with a situation. Example: "You need more guts than brains to even try this!" (notice the power lines in the background to get the full meaning of the expression.)


----------



## southernson

"Intelligence and wisdom are two very different things. Choose carefully which one you seek after most."


----------



## southernson

* * *
“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation” Herbert Spencer


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

If you want something done right, do it yourself.*
*Exceptions include surgery, dentistry, practicing law, test piloting jets and rockets, crocodile hunting, handling explosives, and jugling chainsaws.


----------



## Cataract

Hooked on Fenix said:


> If you want something done right, do it yourself.*
> *Exceptions include surgery, dentistry, practicing law, test piloting jets and rockets, crocodile hunting, handling explosives, and jugling chainsaws.



Most people might want to include plumbing and electrical work too...


----------



## Gratefulcaver

"What goes around ... Comes around"


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

The gun is always loaded. 

~ C.G.


----------



## Cataract

"No one can see past the choices they do not understand" -Oracle


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

Cataract said:


> Most people might want to include plumbing and electrical work too...



I'm an electrical apprentice, my dad's an electrical contractor, and we did our own plumbing working on our house. My family and I are not most people.


----------



## Cataract

Hooked on Fenix said:


> I'm an electrical apprentice, my dad's an electrical contractor, and we did our own plumbing working on our house. *My family and I are not most people*.



So... are you arguing with my statement because it intrinsically specifies it has nothing to do with you and your family, or are you just bragging you and your family are not "most people"??? (I am saying this in a joking, yet curious tone...)


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Hooked on Fenix said:


> I'm an electrical apprentice, my dad's an electrical contractor, and we did our own plumbing working on our house. My family and *I are not most people.*



 Thanks for the laugh.

~ C.G.


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

Hooked on Fenix said:


> *I are not most people*.]/QUOTE]
> 
> I'll just say that my family is special, not that kind of "special".


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

'Words mean things. We live in a time when many politicians utter words that are meant to beguile and fool, not communicate properly."

- Rush Limbaugh


----------



## StarHalo

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> 'Words mean things. We live in a time when many politicians utter words that are meant to beguile and fool, not communicate properly."
> 
> - Rush Limbaugh



 classic


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

"Laugh it up, Fuzzball."

- Han Solo


----------



## bshanahan14rulz

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Thanks for the laugh.
> 
> ~ C.G.



Funny that the English language can sometimes sound so wrong. 

I once had a fortune cookie tell me something that I still don't understand, but I chuckle whenever I think of it:
"Confucius say, he who laughs last laughs latest"

I don't think it's a real quote......


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

I read somewhere, "He who laughs last, is slowest to get joke."

~ Chance


----------



## Cataract

A lot of those "fortunes" are not even Chinese or anywhere in Asia. First off.... fortune cookies are an American invention:

"Like chop suey, fortune cookies are an American invention. They originated in California, but who the actual inventor was, and which city in California is the true home of the fortune cookie, has continued to be a matter of debate. Unequivocally not Chinese, the fortune cookie may in fact not even be Chinese American. 
Read more: The History of the Fortune Cookie | Infoplease.com http://www.infoplease.com/spot/fortunecookies.html#ixzz3AmeNqjJp"

The are -apparently- based on a Japanese recipe, however...
​


----------



## jtr1962

_Cycling is the closest a human being can get to flying_

Me but it turns out the late Robin Williams said the same thing.


----------



## orbital

+


----------



## StarHalo

“Technology has altered the way music sounds, how it’s composed, and how we experience it. It has also flooded the world with music. The world is awash with (mostly) recorded sounds. We used to have to pay for music or make it ourselves; playing, hearing, and experiencing it was exceptional, a rare and special experience. Now hearing it is ubiquitous, and silence is the rarity that we pay for and savor.” - David Byrne, _How Music Works_


----------



## Monocrom

Cataract said:


> A lot of those "fortunes" are not even Chinese or anywhere in Asia. First off.... fortune cookies are an American invention:
> 
> "Like chop suey, fortune cookies are an American invention. They originated in California, but who the actual inventor was, and which city in California is the true home of the fortune cookie, has continued to be a matter of debate. Unequivocally not Chinese, the fortune cookie may in fact not even be Chinese American.
> Read more: The History of the Fortune Cookie | Infoplease.com http://www.infoplease.com/spot/fortunecookies.html#ixzz3AmeNqjJp"
> 
> The are -apparently- based on a Japanese recipe, however...
> ​



I heard chop suey was invented when a group of San Francisco tourists finished up their day, and realized they were hungry. They walked into a Chinese restaurant that was closing. Speaking English, the owner or cook (perhaps the same guy) decided that rather than tell them they were closing; went to the back and grabbed the left-over food from that day. He then cooked what he had, tossed it all together and told the tourists it was authentic Chinese food. He called it "Chop Suey." The tourists loved it.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

If you think it's expensive to hire a professional, wait until you hire an amateur.


----------



## Cataract

"An expert is someone who will come in a few weeks to a month, travels a long distance, charges more than everyone else, but solves your the problems no one else could" -one of my clients

Here is a little story related to this:
Henry Ford had to close down his assembly line and send his employees home because it suddenly stopped and no one could fix it. After days of unsuccessful attempts, he called one of his friends, and engineer whom I believe designed the line or part of it, who took a plane the next day. While talking and walking along the line, the engineer friend went towards a box and kicked it, instantly reviving the line. the bill came up to an insane amount to which Ford objected "all you did is hit a box. "I don't charge that much for hitting on a box, but for knowing where to hit."


----------



## Monocrom

Cataract said:


> "An expert is someone who will come in a few weeks to a month, travels a long distance, charges more than everyone else, but solves your the problems no one else could" -one of my clients
> 
> Here is a little story related to this:
> Henry Ford had to close down his assembly line and send his employees home because it suddenly stopped and no one could fix it. After days of unsuccessful attempts, he called one of his friends, and engineer whom I believe designed the line or part of it, who took a plane the next day. While talking and walking along the line, the engineer friend went towards a box and kicked it, instantly reviving the line. the bill came up to an insane amount to which Ford objected "all you did is hit a box. "I don't charge that much for hitting on a box, but for knowing where to hit."



LOL !

Some things never change! If it acts up, just give it a good kick or smack. Usually it works fine after that.


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

jtr1962 said:


> _Cycling is the closest a human being can get to flying_
> 
> Me but it turns out the late Robin Williams said the same thing.



Especially if the chain comes off, stopping the bike instantly, and launching you over the handlebars.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Monocrom said:


> Some things never change! If it acts up, just give it a good kick or smack. Usually it works fine after that.



Good old percussive maintenance. It's worked for me many times.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

If it's not supposed to move, but does, us Ducktape.

If it's supposed to move, but doesn't, use a hammer.

~ Chance


----------



## thedoc007

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> If it's not supposed to move, but does, use duct tape.
> 
> If it's supposed to move, but doesn't, use a hammer.



For the first, superglue is another option. 

For the second, might want to try WD40 first. If it still doesn't move, then it is time to break out the hammer. :devil:


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

:hahaha:


thedoc007 said:


> For the first, superglue is another option.
> 
> For the second, might want to try WD40 first. If it still doesn't move, then it is time to break out the hammer. :devil:



There's always some youngwippersnapper wantin to try "new & improved" ways of getin things done. 

~ Chance


----------



## Cataract

"If it can't be fixed with a hammer and a screw driver, it can't be fixed" -some guy in a bar 12 years ago.




Hooked on Fenix said:


> Especially if the chain comes off, stopping the bike instantly, and launching you over the handlebars.



I once flew at least 7-8 feet. It must have been really exciting as I don't remember anything about it other than how far my bike was.


----------



## braddy

The road is never long to a friend's house.


----------



## orbital

+
*
Just because stuff is out of sight,**_** doesn't mean it's organized.*


.. me


----------



## Cataract

"Just because it looks organized, it doesn't mean it's in order or that you know where anything is" -Me


----------



## thedoc007

Cataract said:


> "Just because it looks organized, it doesn't mean it's in order or that you know where anything is" -Me



And vice versa. I've been to a marine supply store many times, this place looks like a total disaster, and no one can find anything that is smaller than an anchor. But the owner knows where every bolt, screw, and roll of tape is...truly remarkable.


----------



## ElectronGuru

Time is not a renewable resource.


----------



## LGT

Be thankful for what you have, instead of wishing you had what other people have.


----------



## Cataract

Emm... the real reason I logged in was to share this one:

"the individual is handicapped by coming face to face with a conspiracy so monstrous he cannot believe it exists" -J. Edgar Hoover


----------



## Norm

Some off topic posts have been moved to Whatever happend to customer service?

Norm


----------



## Jenifer512

Be ready all the time.


----------



## Alex W

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." -Forrest Gump


----------



## StarHalo

Just occurred to me: People get tattoos because they're trying to put the inside on the outside.


----------



## Cyclops942

StarHalo said:


> Just occurred to me: People get tattoos because they're trying to put the inside on the outside.


Seems less messy and more durable than literally wearing your heart on your sleeve, but accomplishes the same thing.


----------



## idleprocess

StarHalo said:


> Just occurred to me: People get tattoos because they're trying to put the inside on the outside.



So long as there is some thought, meaning, and genuine self-expression behind the ink. Not sure that's the case all or even most of the time.


----------



## Lite_me

You don't have to floss all your teeth. Just the ones you want to keep.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

StarHalo said:


> Just occurred to me: People get tattoos because they're trying to put the inside on the outside.





idleprocess said:


> So long as there is some thought, meaning, and genuine self-expression behind the ink. Not sure that's the case all or even most of the time.




Tattoos = Really expensive human bumper stickers. 

How long before people from Hollywood California start having their dogs and cats tattooed?

~ Chance


----------



## Monocrom

Lite_me said:


> You don't have to floss all your teeth. Just the ones you want to keep.



I've literally heard those words before.... On "She-Wolf of London."

Short-lived horror series with genuinely original writing and story-lines. (So of course it was canceled.) :ironic:


----------



## Monocrom

Custom T-shirts.... Cheaper than tattoos, you can take them off, and no regrets. :thumbsup:


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Ha! Reminds me of the Gothowitz Deviation episode of The Big Bang Theory. It was the one where Raj and Howard dressed up as goths.

http://www.tv.com/shows/the-big-bang-theory/the-gothowitz-deviation-1295527/

Funny!

~ Chance


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

:hahaha: “I have a publicist!” 

Words to live by.......NOT! :fail:

~ Chance


----------



## orbital

+

Check all lights & turn signals outside your car

......

Check all lights & turn signals outside your car



note.. almost witnessed a huge crash because a guys left rear cluster was out


----------



## Cataract

"A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."

Was just mentioned to me as a funny quote at work. He promised to a client today (without consulting me) that I'd get his machine out Monday while I've been away all week and work is still piling up like crazy, plus I have late maintenance visits to take care of. I'll have to refresh his memory :devil:


----------



## bluemax_1

Cataract said:


> "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."
> 
> Was just mentioned to me as a funny quote at work. He promised to a client today (without consulting me) that I'd get his machine out Monday while I've been away all week and work is still piling up like crazy, plus I have late maintenance visits to take care of. I'll have to refresh his memory :devil:


I'm going to have to remember that quote. That's a great one!


Max


----------



## KITROBASKIN

A cranky but very competent welder had this sign in his shop: 

Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.


Sent from my iPad using Candlepowerforums


----------



## Cataract

I might just get that tatooed on my stomach and just lift my shirt whenever someone comes to me with their last minute emergencies. Weighing in at 250 pounds, it should get the point across really fast.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Bloom where you're planted.


----------



## Monocrom

Cataract said:


> I might just get that tattooed on my stomach and just lift my shirt whenever someone comes to me with their last minute emergencies. Weighing in at 250 pounds, it should get the point across really fast.



Gain some more weight to really make an impactful statement.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Monocrom said:


> Custom T-shirts.... Cheaper than tattoos, you can take them off, and no regrets. :thumbsup:





Cataract said:


> "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."






Cataract said:


> I might just get that tatooed on my stomach.......



What!? They don't sell T-shirts with that saying?

~ Chance who don't like the ink-needle


----------



## Monocrom

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> What!? They don't sell T-shirts with that saying?
> 
> ~ Chance who don't like the ink-needle



Now don't be silly.... You can get anything printed onto a T-shirt these days.


----------



## KITROBASKIN

When you're up to your elbows in alligators, it's hard to remember your initial objective was to drain the swamp.


----------



## Cataract

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> What!? They don't sell T-shirts with that saying?
> 
> ~ Chance who don't like the ink-needle



Not sure my boss would let me wear that but since the door is behind me, I could have it tattooed on my neck.




Monocrom said:


> Gain some more weight to really make an impactful statement.



Or, just braid it on my chest with 6 inch long extensions for maximum awkwardness.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Cataract said:


> Not sure my boss would let me wear that but since the door is behind me, I could have it tattooed on my neck.



No problem. It's a T-shirt. Wear it underneath your button down. Then when you need it, pull a Superman.




Cataract said:


> Or just braid it on my chest with 6 inch long extensions for maximum awkwardness.



Yeah! Thanks for that mind-picture. :sick2:

~ Chance


----------



## StarHalo

Whenever you go to an event with your digital camera, your goal should be to max out the storage and drain the battery completely. If the camera still turns on or has some space left after you leave, you didn't get everything..


----------



## thedoc007

Don't forget to put the camera down for a while and enjoy the moment, either. Too many people substitute photos for memories...


----------



## idleprocess

thedoc007 said:


> Don't forget to put the camera down for a while and enjoy the moment, either. Too many people substitute photos for memories...


Yeah. Kind of regret embracing the _archivist_ to excess in the past.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

What Apollos said. :candle:

~ Chance


----------



## Cataract

First observe, then think and finally act. In any other order you will either see, understand or plainly create chaos. -Me


----------



## LGT

How true, thedoc007
This past summer, went to Revere beach in Massachusetts , with the Wife, to check out the sand sculptures event held once a year.
They're really detailed and something to see. At about the third one we were viewing, I started to notice just how many people were just taking pictures with their phones or whatnot, and not really taking the time to look at what they were taking a photo of.
Pictures should bring back, and not be the memory.


----------



## Illum

Cataract said:


> I once flew at least 7-8 feet. It must have been really exciting as I don't remember anything about it other than how far my bike was.



Interestingly in my years of riding I never had a chain issue, last time I ended up with the retrograde amnesia you speak of was going down a gentle slope and dodging a jaywalking animal [cat?] by stupidly locking the front brake calipers. No major scarring, no broken bones, but laid there numb all over staring into the sky memorized by how blue it was. Since then removed the front brake caliper on every single bike I've owned.


----------



## Cataract

Illum said:


> Interestingly in my years of riding I never had a chain issue, last time I ended up with the retrograde amnesia you speak of was going down a gentle slope and dodging a jaywalking animal [cat?] by stupidly locking the front brake calipers. No major scarring, no broken bones, but laid there numb all over staring into the sky memorized by how blue it was. Since then removed the front brake caliper on every single bike I've owned.



DUDE! Nice to see you back on here... you must have read quite a few pages!

The issue had nothing to do with the chain and not even sure disk brakes even existed on bicycles back then. It was about 1998 and my bike was at least 4 years old. What happened is that the front wheel nuts were a little loose, one side of the shaft came out of the front fork as I jumped up onto the sidewalk. This resulted on the wheel pushing on the left-hand brake pad and when the pad reared up into the upper part of the fork, the result was exactly the same as throwing a stick into my front wheel. I was in *great* shape back then, often going for 6-8 hours of bicycling per day on dull summer days... I was likely going 30 MPH or more when the wheel locked. No kidding here, as I have even checked my speed against a radar sign (you know, the ones that mention "the speed limit is *** your current speed is **) and it read 40 MPH going slightly uphill and that was 2-3 years after I had not had a bicycle of my own. 

Anyways, my problem was just not checking the nuts on my front wheel. Let that be a lesson for the "things I have learned the hard way" thread... a bicycle is not a toy, check every nut like your life depends on it, because... it does! 

I still have absolutely no memory of the flight, fall or impact. I just can say I couldn't chew for about 3 weeks, still have a noticeable scar on my chin and everyone said I'd have a major scar on half of my face for years and years to come. They were all 40+ years old and I was still in my early 20's, so the scar was gone in the same time it took for the scab to fall off and I put it in their face because they all argued with me on the subject like I was too stupid to know my own body. Aaah, the days of youth.

Now, I still have signs of those scratches from 3 years ago when I slipped on that stone and only had to put a bandage on it just because I wanted to keep my shoes from possible blood drip stains.... stupid aging!


----------



## Illum

:wave:

Ouch, usually the nuts doesn't come loose easily... I guess all that jumping the bike finally gave.

Most people down here can't fathom the speed a cyclist can achieve. Friends in parts of Europe cycle daily at speeds up to 30-40km/h (18-24mph), for people who rarely go that fast while riding [like me] have no idea what to predict if something was to go amiss. Luckily the only injuries I suffered [IIRC] was a dislocated shoulder, sprained wrist, laceration by the ear and a generous amount of rugburn on my back. I only felt pain when someone [forgot who, dad?] reseated my shoulder then everything started hurting. Slept on a stool for a couple weeks.

Wear the right clothing for the right activities. Don't ride with your shirt off even if its 100 degrees outside. Always check your speed when going down hill, when you approach a bend at an angle it only takes one lousy placed leaf on a wet surface [or an animal that never saw you coming and decided to cross the road] to wipe you out. 

Also, if you're going somewhere far away, let someone know where you will be going, when you plan on going, when you plan to return. Or else when you're incapacitated, no one knows where you are and you could be waiting for a very long time before help realizes you're in trouble.


----------



## idleprocess

Illum said:


> Don't use the front calipers.


I'm going to ignore that advice because _more than half_ of the braking potential in a bicycle is in that front brake and the very slight risk of an endo is handily counterbalanced by shortened stopping times.


----------



## thedoc007

idleprocess said:


> I'm going to ignore that advice because _more than half_ of the braking potential in a bicycle is in that front brake and the very slight risk of an endo is handily counterbalanced by shortened stopping times.



Yeah, removing your front brake is crazy, in my opinion. Just like with anything else, practice makes perfect. Practice stopping in controlled conditions, accustom yourself to the appropriate amount of pressure, and you won't have a problem. Your stopping distance will be DRAMATICALLY increased if you use only the rear...in fact, well over doubled, since the front brake does most of the work anyway.


----------



## Str8stroke

Yea, these previous posts kinda remind me of some Captain Jack Sparrows wisdom: _Dead Men Tell No Tales_


----------



## Illum

thedoc007 said:


> Yeah, removing your front brake is crazy, in my opinion. Just like with anything else, practice makes perfect. Practice stopping in controlled conditions, accustom yourself to the appropriate amount of pressure, and you won't have a problem. Your stopping distance will be DRAMATICALLY increased if you use only the rear...in fact, well over doubled, since the front brake does most of the work anyway.




bad "advice" removed 
Thanks for the tips.


----------



## Cataract

Illum said:


> :wave:
> 
> Ouch, usually the nuts doesn't come loose easily... I guess all that jumping the bike finally gave.
> 
> Most people down here can't fathom the speed a cyclist can achieve. Friends in parts of Europe cycle daily at speeds up to 30-40km/h (18-24mph), for people who rarely go that fast while riding [like me] have no idea what to predict if something was to go amiss. Luckily the only injuries I suffered [IIRC] was a dislocated shoulder, sprained wrist, laceration by the ear and a generous amount of rugburn on my back. I only felt pain when someone [forgot who, dad?] reseated my shoulder then everything started hurting. Slept on a stool for a couple weeks.
> 
> Wear the right clothing for the right activities. Don't ride with your shirt off even if its 100 degrees outside. Always check your speed when going down hill, when you approach a bend at an angle it only takes one lousy placed leaf on a wet surface [or an animal that never saw you coming and decided to cross the road] to wipe you out.
> 
> Also, if you're going somewhere far away, let someone know where you will be going, when you plan on going, when you plan to return. Or else when you're incapacitated, no one knows where you are and you could be waiting for a very long time before help realizes you're in trouble.



I was wild back then and had some good falls, but never dislocated a shoulder ever. Did some long slides on bare skin, though. I once went down a hill and back doing well over 40 km/h (I verified with a street radar sign years later and must have been close to 70!), only to find that my front wheel was headed for the sidewalk. I had just enough time to pick which side to fall. Since I had no idea if there was a car behind me, I picked the sidewalk. I'll never forget the face of the 2 ladies that saw me get back up after bouncing twice on my side. They actually though I was dead. I have to mention I had taken Judo lessons the semester before, which likely saved me from much more damage. Once I got at work, I asked the barmaid to pour half a bottle of rubbing alcohol on my shoulder and arm, then put my shirt back on after the bleeding stopped. I yelled out in pain and then went about my day like nothing had happened. I wish I was 20 again...

The lesson here: If you can't fall, don't run! I sure got the lesson in my face...


----------



## PhotonWrangler

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

_-fortune cookie_


----------



## ElectronGuru

thedoc007 said:


> Yeah, removing your front brake is crazy, in my opinion. Just like with anything else, practice makes perfect. Practice stopping in controlled conditions, accustom yourself to the appropriate amount of pressure, and you won't have a problem. Your stopping distance will be DRAMATICALLY increased if you use only the rear...in fact, well over doubled, since the front brake does most of the work anyway.



I had this problem and switched over to disc brakes on my next ride. Not quite as good as ABS, but still less likely to lock up:


----------



## StarHalo

Spotted on a box of TV antennas in the Amazon warehouse: The taped seam atop the box had a sticker with what appeared to be opening instructions, the top half in Chinese characters, the bottom half reading "TEAR UP FUTILITY." Good advice, such a determined people..


----------



## Cataract

StarHalo said:


> Spotted on a box of TV antennas in the Amazon warehouse: The taped seam atop the box had a sticker with what appeared to be opening instructions, the top half in Chinese characters, the bottom half reading "TEAR UP FUTILITY." Good advice, such a determined people..



Now that's much better than fortune cookies!


----------



## idleprocess

Some folks at my workplace are being promoted into the same role and title I hold. I was providing them some documentation they might find helpful to get up to speed directly from the internal website everyone has access to and some asked me where I came up with all the material, particularly if it was on our website. Something along the lines of _I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you_ came to me: *I can't claim credit for hiding it in plain sight when it's apparent that no one even thought to look*.


----------



## Cataract

Join the club. I had to walk away from a maintenance job because the salesman did zero research before selling the contract. His research should have consisted on getting his hands on the manual, handing it over to me and asking me to go over the site with him so we could evaluate the work.

Yesterday, i was 15 feet in the air having to transfer over a 21 inch gap from a scissor lift onto the top of a bunker and what did they offer for an anchor point? A handrail right over 6 foot tall metal shelving. I decided F it just for this once cause I wanted to be out of there. Open the generator connector to see... Well, I don't know what I saw, I've never seen anything like it. Closed everything up and told the client I need to get some information.

I was thinking in terms of "if you're too stupid to first ask the guy who's gonna be doing the job, why should I even bother showing up?"


----------



## Cataract

Give a fool a tool and you'll end up with a pile of crap made from of a bunch of junk. -ME


----------



## Cataract

On Sundays, some people go to the Church of prayer to get on their knees and pray,
while I go to the Church of tools to get down on all four and swear.
-Me


----------



## StarHalo

What we call cowardice is often just another name for being taken by surprise, and courage is seldom any better than simply being well prepared. - Gregory David Roberts, _Shantaram_


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Cataract said:


> On Sundays, some people go to the Church of prayer to get on their knees and pray,
> while I go to the Church of tools to get down on all four and swear.
> -Me



What have you been working on lately?

~ Chance


----------



## Cataract

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> What have you been working on lately?
> 
> ~ Chance



Just finishing getting the car winter ready, including defogging a headlight, caulking the new bathroom sink and one spot on the bottom of the kitchen counter, then cleaning up after the mess all of that created. 

That was today, though. Spent Friday cleaning up a film processor on a refinery. Poor thing had crystallized chemicals in the feed line and after cleaning that up we fired it to adjust and test replenishment rates to find out it was being fed concentrated chemicals and was trying to suck up gelatin through a 1/8" hose. So we had to redo the whole cleaning process, plus clean the holding tanks and re-mix the chemicals. A theoretically one hour long job that should have taken 3-4 hours took 6 and a half hours Arrrrgh! (lower case scream since it meant I didn't have to go back to the office )


----------



## PhotonWrangler

You can have it cheap, fast or good - pick any two.


----------



## idleprocess

PhotonWrangler said:


> You can have it cheap, fast or good - pick any two.


You know a project manager or several, don't you?


----------



## PhotonWrangler

idleprocess said:


> You know a project manager or several, don't you?



Lol, yeah.


----------



## Cataract

I read an article many years back that went along those lines:

'NASA forgot the basic rules of project development with their new "smaller, faster, better, cheaper" philosophy. Of course, they discovered the hard way you can only pick any two for a program to work the way it was intended.'


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Never trust your life on something that was built by the lowest bidder.

~ Chance


----------



## StarHalo

The finest sculptor carves
the least. In this way,
the block rests
within all that is limitless.

- from Hannah Gamble's _All That is Limitless_


----------



## PhotonWrangler

If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you can read this in english, thank a vet.


----------



## orbital

+

_do something nice for someone, without being asked,,
it pays in its own way

__
_


----------



## StarHalo

_This isn’t just a cross- head, or even a Phillips cross- head to be specific, explained Bill as he showed me a drill bit for screws. This, he said, is a Pozidriv bit. Look closely and you’ll see that the Pozidriv bit has four additional points of contact with the screw. 

I nodded. 

It doesn’t have the rounded corners that the Phillips cross-head bit has, he continued. Its chief advantage over the cross- head is that, provided the screw and the bit are in good condition, the bit won’t cam out, which means you can apply greater torque. By the way, you may think knowing the names of tools and hardware is about identifying them, but if that’s all you think then you’d be wrong. You see, calling things by their proper names is the beginning of wisdom. That’s a Chinese proverb and they invented writing. The wisdom, in case you’re wondering, is that when you get names right, you narrow the gap between you and the thing. The most important tool is your hand and you’d be in serious trouble if there were a gap between you and your hand. So names are important._

- Zia Haider Rahman, _In The Light Of What We Know_


----------



## idleprocess

StarHalo said:


> _This isn’t just a cross- head, or even a Phillips cross- head to be specific, explained Bill as he showed me a drill bit for screws. This, he said, is a Pozidriv bit. Look closely and you’ll see that the Pozidriv bit has four additional points of contact with the screw.
> 
> I nodded.
> 
> It doesn’t have the rounded corners that the Phillips cross-head bit has, he continued. Its chief advantage over the cross- head is that, provided the screw and the bit are in good condition, the bit won’t cam out, which means you can apply greater torque. By the way, you may think knowing the names of tools and hardware is about identifying them, but if that’s all you think then you’d be wrong. You see, calling things by their proper names is the beginning of wisdom. That’s a Chinese proverb and they invented writing. The wisdom, in case you’re wondering, is that when you get names right, you narrow the gap between you and the thing. The most important tool is your hand and you’d be in serious trouble if there were a gap between you and your hand. So names are important._
> 
> - Zia Haider Rahman, _In The Light Of What We Know_



Relative to Philips head, quality Torx head screws with a bit in decent condition take *deliberate incompetence* to strip, are good for more than the ~4 nominal cycles a Philips can handle with care _(and good luck)_, and are well worth paying a little extra for.


----------



## Cataract

I see so many stripped screws because people use the wrong size screwdriver or stripped threads and cracked plastic because people try to make them hold on as hard as a rivet, so I came up with this:

"The screw, being the one mechanical invention that permitted the rise of the industrial age, is still the least understood of all mechanical parts."


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Do I have to "say" it? This thread is .......OT. You thought I was going to say screwed. Didn't you?

~ Chance


----------



## idleprocess

Cataract said:


> I see so many stripped screws because people use the wrong size screwdriver or stripped threads and cracked plastic because people try to make them hold on as hard as a rivet, so I came up with this:
> 
> "The screw, being the one mechanical invention that permitted the rise of the industrial age, is still the least understood of all mechanical parts."



In a previous career as a mechanical designer, I convinced management that spending a little more on threaded inserts on sheet metal parts would pay dividends when it came to the _mean monkeys_ in the shop and the field stripping out tapped threads - hardened, pressed-in threaded inserts being so much more stupid-resistant.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Cataract said:


> I see so many stripped screws because people ......



.....don't adjust the clutch on their power drill. However, they consider themselves to be a professional and charge accordingly. 

~ Chance


----------



## 5S8Zh5

_If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans._


----------



## bdogps

"The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow." - Jim Hightower


----------



## Cataract

idleprocess said:


> In a previous career as a mechanical designer, I convinced management that spending a little more on threaded inserts on sheet metal parts would pay dividends when it came to the _mean monkeys_ in the shop and the field stripping out tapped threads - hardened, pressed-in threaded inserts being so much more stupid-resistant.



I'm sure it works well in the manufacturing plant, but I've also seen inserts being loosened out by idiots after a few times of maintenance / repair...



Chauncey Gardiner said:


> .....don't adjust the clutch on their power drill. However, they consider themselves to be a professional and charge accordingly.
> 
> ~ Chance



...and if they used a drill to remove/re-install 1/4" screws that hold the cover on an 8000$ piece of precision, they are even bigger idiots


In the end, it comes down to my top favorite quote:

-Make it idiot proof and they'll make a better idiot.


----------



## Cataract

bdogps said:


> "The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow." - Jim Hightower



Nice one.

"Follow the beaten path and end up exactly where everyone ends up... nowhere special" -me


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Cataract said:


> -Make it idiot proof and they'll make a better idiot.



Stupid is, as stupid does.

- Forrest's Momma


----------



## idleprocess

Cataract said:


> I'm sure it works well in the manufacturing plant, but I've also seen inserts being loosened out by idiots after a few times of maintenance / repair...


It was really the tapped holes retaining access panels that took the beating - especially on outdoor units. Post-install, our more careful field techs could get 4+ full cycles ... a freelancer getting paid by the job perhaps 2 before they were left to jury-rig something or just hope skipping a screw on re-assembly wouldn't compromise the unit.

We weren't using inserts for anything too serious - sheet metal parts mostly with #8 / #10 fasteners, an occasional 1/4", and perhaps all of 2 different applications using 3/8" inserts. If you were using a drill motor without the clutch set in the lower quarter you were doing it wrong.



> Make it idiot proof and they'll make a better idiot.


_The problem with idiots is that they are both legion in number and oh-so-determined_.


----------



## Cataract

idleprocess said:


> It was really the tapped holes retaining access panels that took the beating - especially on outdoor units. Post-install, our more careful field techs could get 4+ full cycles ... a freelancer getting paid by the job perhaps 2 before they were left to jury-rig something or just hope skipping a screw on re-assembly wouldn't compromise the unit.
> 
> We weren't using inserts for anything too serious - sheet metal parts mostly with #8 / #10 fasteners, an occasional 1/4", and perhaps all of 2 different applications using 3/8" inserts. If you were using a drill motor without the clutch set in the lower quarter you were doing it wrong.


 
I see some serious commonalities with my experience. Inserts are not made for holding tank armor together.



idleprocess said:


> _The problem with idiots is that they are both legion in number and oh-so-determined_.



Amen to those words!


----------



## dc38

If someone is perpetually changing his or her mind, do they have integrity or are they fickle?


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

dc38 said:


> If someone is perpetually changing his or her mind, do they have integrity or are they fickle?




I'd say they most likely don't know what they believe, and are being blown by every new wind that comes along. Pity.

~ Chance


----------



## thedoc007

dc38 said:


> If someone is perpetually changing his or her mind, do they have integrity or are they fickle?



At the risk of answering another rhetorical question, it can be either. I like to think of myself as a (mostly) rational skeptic, but when my views are clearly proven to be wrong, or I gain new experience, I can change my mind overnight. Anyone who doesn't change their mind about anything is either isolated, or simply stubborn (and definitely not in a good way).


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

I think the key word in dc38's question is *perpetually*.

~ Chance


----------



## StarHalo

I do not know whether I work in order to make something or in order to know why I cannot make what I would like to make. - Giacometti


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you.

~ C.G.


----------



## Sadsack

Of course I talk to myself,Sometimes I need expert advice.


----------



## idleprocess

*Acquisition*
_The discovery that you're no longer a big fish in a small pond, or even a small fish in a big pond, but a small fish in a big fish._

About to experience this adventure myself as my present employer has sold my division to another company. Work life my soon get *fortune cookie* exciting as the deal gets closer to completion.


----------



## Burgess

I don't talk to myself !

I prefer to call it:


*Thinking Out Loud !*


Sounds so much more respectable !


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

idleprocess said:


> *Acquisition*
> _The discovery that you're no longer a big fish in a small pond, or even a small fish in a big pond, but a small fish in a big fish._
> 
> About to experience this adventure myself as my present employer has sold my division to another company. Work life my soon get *fortune cookie* exciting as the deal gets closer to completion.



I hope the acquisition works out well for you, idleprocess. Welcome to the world of matryoshka. 

~ Chance


----------



## StarHalo

From the place where we are right, flowers will never grow. - Yehuda Amichai


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

StarHalo said:


> From the place where we are right, flowers will never grow...
> 
> - Yehuda Amichai



... in the Spring.

~ Chance


----------



## orbital

+

leaving well-enough alone advances nothing


----------



## 5S8Zh5

_Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea._

- Robert A. Heinlein


----------



## Monocrom

orbital said:


> +
> 
> leaving well-enough alone advances nothing



Some things, such as chaos, should not be advanced.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

orbital said:


> +
> 
> leaving well-enough alone advances nothing





Monocrom said:


> Some things, such as chaos, should not be advanced.



You know "That Guy"? The guy who just can't walk past a"cow-pie". Can't leave well enough alone. Oh no! He has to kick the top off of it every time. Which, of course, lets all the previously contained stink rise up to everyone in the vicinity. 

.................................. DON'T BE THAT GUY! :shakehead


----------



## orbital

Monocrom said:


> Some things, such as chaos, should not be advanced.





Chauncey Gardiner said:


> You know "That Guy"? The guy who just can't walk past a"cow-pie". Can't leave well enough alone. Oh no! He has to kick the top off of it every time. Which, of course, lets all the previously contained stink rise up to everyone in the vicinity.
> 
> .................................. DON'T BE THAT GUY! :shakehead




_____________________________^^

Synergy


----------



## bestellen

Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

bestellen said:


> Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.



Excellent! :welcome: bestellen.

~ Chance


----------



## nbp

bestellen said:


> Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.



So, I should probably ask her out, hey? :sigh:


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

nbp said:


> So, I should probably ask her out, hey? :sigh:



Yes. Why haven't you already!? 

~ Chance


----------



## nbp

I knew you'd bite on that. 

I don't know the answer to that question... Fear?


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

So, am I predictable or dependable?

Fear? Of what? What's the worst that could happen?

~ Chance


----------



## nbp

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> So, am I predictable or dependable?
> 
> Fear? Of what? What's the worst that could happen?
> 
> ~ Chance



No, You're a romantic. LOL. :kiss:

The worst is when she isn't interested that way and then where there was a nice friendship, you now have awkwardness. It doesn't always happen that way, but sometimes.

Plus, girls are so wishy washy sometimes. Just make up your mind already! I find that challenging.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

You can't go a day without thinking about her?

~ C.


----------



## nbp

Hey, when did this become all about me?!

Eh, I could if I tried probably.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

There was this girl.  I saw her every day at work. She was so cute, I just had to ask her out. She said "no." Probably five or six times. Next September we'll celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary.

~ Chance


----------



## nbp

Awww, that's a cute story. Congrats! :lovecpf


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Thanks. Best 18 years of my life. 

I'll quit bugging you.

~ Chance


----------



## nbp

I'll be sure to let you know when I make my move.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Good morning!

Have there been any signals?

~ C.


----------



## nbp

Lol! Since the middle of the night?! I only see her periodically. I need to get her number.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

No, not since last night you goofball. Has she ever given you reason to think she might be interested? If so, number schumber! Do it up close and personal, man! That way you can [email protected]@k deep into her eyes. :naughty:

~ Chance
aka The Love Doctor


----------



## StarHalo

The only way to a woman's heart is along the path of torment, I know none other as sure. - Marquis De Sade



Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Has she ever given you reason to think she might be interested?



You determine if she is interested or not. Tell her you saw her in a dream last night, then pretend to take a call and wander off..


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

StarHalo said:


> The only way to a woman's heart is along the path of torment, I know none other as sure. - Marquis De Sade


 
A friend of mine used to say, "Don't take no for an answer .... unless it's accompanied by a restraining order." and "If she's not crying, she's still interested." I think he was only joking. 



StarHalo said:


> You determine if she is interested or not. Tell her you saw her in a dream last night, then pretend to take a call and wander off..


 
:laughing: That's hilarious, and probably great advice. 



~ Chance


----------



## nbp

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> No, not since last night you goofball. Has she ever given you reason to think she might be interested? If so, number schumber! Do it up close and personal, man! That way you can [email protected]@k deep into her eyes. :naughty:
> 
> ~ Chance
> aka The Love Doctor



You are a romantic, aren't you? Lol. 

I have no reason to believe she is definitely NOT interested, I guess. She hugs me when I see her, and always is willing to chat. But shes a real sweetie, so she's nice to everyone. Earlier in this thread I posted that my Grandpa had told me I should marry a girl who smiles a lot. This girl smiles LOT. She's so cheery all the time. It's infectious.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

OK, let's recap:

She hugs you when she sees you.

She is always willing to chat with you.

She's a real sweetie.

She's nice to everyone.

Your Grandpa told you to marry a girl that smiles a lot.

She smiles a lot.

She's cheery all the time..........

GOOD LORD, MAN! What are you waiting for!?

Take a chance.

~ Chance


----------



## nbp

I'm slow, OK?!


----------



## RetroTechie

If it looks stupid but works, it ain't stupid.

(some random internet 'wisdom', so it _must_ be true.  Makes sense, anyway).


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

nbp said:


> I'm slow, OK?!



Of course it's OK. I just can't help but be reminded of this -


*“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been." 

- John Greenleaf Whittier *


She sounds like a great person. You're probably not the only guy that has noticed.

~ Chance


----------



## Keeper Oath

From my Grandmother: A Place for Everything and Everything in its Place.

From my Grandfather: Let's don't and say we did. 

From my other Grandfather: Where there's a Will, there is a Way.


----------



## nbp

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> She sounds like a great person. You're probably not the only guy that has noticed.
> 
> ~ Chance



Now that.... is a very good point.


----------



## Cyclops942

Keeper Oath said:


> From my Grandmother: A Place for Everything and Everything in its Place.
> 
> From my Grandfather: *Let's don't and say we did. *
> 
> From my other Grandfather: Where there's a Will, there is a Way.


Let's do and say we didn't.


----------



## Cataract

[h=1]“*Tw*enty ye*ars from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do*. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
[/h]-Mark Twain


----------



## orbital

Monocrom said:


> Some things, such as chaos, should not be advanced.



+

Chaos balances natural laws/physics, it's a necessary evil & beauty all at the same time


Our largest computers systems are working to understand & predict chaos.
..at minimum, chaos could be its own thread


*
Question is, what is causing the chaos*


----------



## JoeAsheville

Therein lies another quote.

Fear is sometimes the only obstacle between ourselves and happiness.


----------



## Cataract

orbital said:


> +
> 
> Chaos balances natural laws/physics, it's a necessary evil & beauty all at the same time
> 
> 
> Our largest computers systems are working to understand & predict chaos.
> ..at minimum, chaos could be its own thread
> 
> 
> *
> Question is, what is causing the chaos*



I can't find the quote, but it might have been Einstein or another physicist of his time who said that "Chaos is the highest form of order"

I personally believe that humans call it chaos simply because we can't see the bigger picture from where we stand.


----------



## bestellen

You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Our light can't shine on others if our batteries are dead.

~ Chance


----------



## Cataract

"When working on a project, unexpected troubles are the norm, not the exception."
-Me

A colleague of mine asked where I got all these phrases I spurt out every now and then. I told him it was experience speaking. He commented he's 23 years older than me working the same field and wondered how come he didn't have as much experience as I do. I just replied "That depends on how fast you learn".

"Experience is not how many projects you have worked on, but how much you have learned by working on those projects."
-Me


----------



## PhotonWrangler

If you learn by your mistakes, that makes me the smartest person in the world!


----------



## Cataract

Just posted this in my PWM thread;

I like to think about martial arts (and therefore just about any knowledge) this way: when you know nothing, you have no idea what danger is. When you know little, you can be a danger to yourself and others. When you master enough knowledge, you can defend yourself in any situation without making anyone a vegetable or a cripple. 

Mastery is the key. Learn on your passion and make everyone else's life safer.


----------



## magellan

Cataract said:


> I can't find the quote, but it might have been Einstein or another physicist of his time who said that "Chaos is the highest form of order"
> 
> I personally believe that humans call it chaos simply because we can't see the bigger picture from where we stand.



Could be. On the other hand, it could get boring if everything was completely predictable.


----------



## Monocrom

"Don't settle for the crumbs." ~ A TV preacher


----------



## Cataract

"The train comes by very rarely, so just jump on it when it does."
-My spiritual teacher


----------



## Cataract

magellan said:


> Could be. On the other hand, it could get boring if everything was completely predictable.



Everything IS predictable when you have control of the remote for the DVD of the universe. (My interpretation to the holographic universe).

I should add:

Any movie is boring after watching it often enough, unless you forgot what happens in it.


----------



## nbp

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Of course it's OK. I just can't help but be reminded of this -
> 
> 
> *“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been."
> 
> - John Greenleaf Whittier *
> 
> 
> She sounds like a great person. You're probably not the only guy that has noticed.
> 
> ~ Chance



Her fam has invited my fam over for dinner tomorrow night... Her brother who I am friends with is in town for a bit so maybe he justs wants to hang out... or maybe....


----------



## Cataract

nbp said:


> Her fam has invited my fam over for dinner tomorrow night... Her brother who I am friends with is in town for a bit so maybe he justs wants to hang out... or maybe....



I just said "the train comes by very rarely". It doesn't mean you should be on the hunt, that would not be appropriate in a fam/fam dinner... just go with the flow and take the appropriate time to show your value. Be a gentleman and show your interest or, ideally, make some plans with her when the moment is ripe.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Cataract said:


> I just said "the train comes by very rarely". It doesn't mean you should be on the hunt, that would not be appropriate in a fam/fam dinner... just go with the flow and take the appropriate time to show your value. Be a gentleman and show your interest or, ideally, make some plans with her when the moment is ripe.



+1 

~ Chance


----------



## StarHalo

-1. Don Draper it. Just when they're not sure you'll show, drop in from points unknown to let them know you made time. So busy with how well things are going lately, here's a charming story that plays to your strengths, and they should see what you're doing this evening.. And just when she chimes in it stops notably for that moment; not much attention to go around but she had it there for a second, maybe we should revisit that at some point, look at the time, off to grander things..

A man is who he is when he enters the room, so if you want the room, take it..


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

........... Cuz it's so much better to start a relationship being a deceitful, pompous ***. :sigh:

~ Chance


----------



## nbp

Yeah I don't think I could pull that off; just not that kind of guy.


----------



## dc38

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> ........... Cuz it's so much better to start a relationship being a deceitful, pompous ***. _*...but growing and becoming a person who could be worthy of the other's company*_ :sigh:
> 
> ~ Chance



-Dave, taking a "chance" out of leaf's book.


----------



## StarHalo

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> ........... Cuz it's so much better to start a relationship being a deceitful, pompous ***. :sigh:





nbp said:


> Yeah I don't think I could pull that off; just not that kind of guy.



It's not about deceit, it's about playing to your strengths and creating only the first impression. It doesn't have to be anything big; like if you've sold a few lights lately: "Man, those interstate PayPal payments take forever to process, why do they even call it small business. Is that red wine? If not, let's fix that.." Etc. You're a guy who has your own unique skill set and interests, so it applies to you. Let everyone else leave the room a blank canvas for you to dive in and fill with color, if only briefly.


----------



## nbp

Maybe if you're meeting people for the first time and are trying to give a certain impression for a certain reason. 

I already know these people and they know me so they'd just be wondering why I'm acting like such a tool all of a sudden.


----------



## idleprocess

nbp said:


> I'm slow, OK?!





Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Of course it's OK. I just can't help but be reminded of this -
> 
> 
> *“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been."
> 
> - John Greenleaf Whittier *
> 
> 
> She sounds like a great person. You're probably not the only guy that has noticed.
> 
> ~ Chance


I am a master of recognizing missed opportunities *days* late and *dollars* short. The trick seems to be to spot _potential_ early and take advantage of it without any particular surety of where it's going to lead. Now if only I could learn to follow this advice...

If I allowed myself to dwell on what might have been, I could fall into irrecoverable despair.


----------



## Capolini

I already have enough of mine on CPF,specifically Vinhs "Inspirational Giveaway thread"

Here are Three from KNOWN people!


When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. *JIMI HENDRIX

*Knowledge speaks,wisdom listens. *JIMI HENDRIX

*It is not what happens in our life that is important. It is how we react to what happens. *BRUCE LEE*


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Capolini said:


> When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. *JIMI HENDRIX
> *



Does anyone believe that will happen, that the world will know peace?

~ Chance


----------



## Capolini

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Does anyone believe that will happen, that the world will know peace?
> 
> ~ Chance



There may be some,,,,,,,,,,,,,but it is very unlikely to happen. However, a logical/hopeful concept dependent on conditions.


----------



## Monocrom

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Does anyone believe that will happen, that the world will know peace?
> 
> ~ Chance



Hell no! Human-beings are too greedy and disgusting in general for that to ever happen.


----------



## Cataract

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Does anyone believe that will happen, that the world will know peace?
> 
> ~ Chance



Well, I saw a flying pig the other day!!! Of course, it was a short flight and it hit the ground pretty hard, but not as hard as the pickup hit  that tree... 

What I mean is that everything is possible given the right circumstances and how you interpret the definitions of things. Be careful what you wish for :nana:


----------



## buddyrohr

thedoc007 said:


> "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt."-Unknown


as far as i know that is a mark twainism. a good one too


----------



## buddyrohr

dont just do something, stand there!


----------



## magellan

Never draw to an inside straight or drive with a cup of hot coffee between your legs.


----------



## magellan

_




Originally Posted by *thedoc007* 


"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt."-Unknown
_
as far as i know that is a mark twainism. a good one too




Similar to Schopenhauer when he said if you want people to think well of you, don't speak.


----------



## Capolini

I did not think Jimi's quote that I posted would get that much attention! That is a good thing.

.......Like Jimmy "V" [Valvano] said, IF WE CAN DO THESE THREE THINGS EACH DAY WE HAVE HAD A GOOD/FULL DAY!....."If we can Laugh, Think[spend some time in deep thought] and Cry!" I think we ALL do a lot of thinking on here, hopefully laughing and save the crying for our home life!


Back to Jimi Hendrix. I have posted this on CPF on a couple threads. These were Two GREAT moments for me.

Me and Al Hendrix[Jimi's Dad] in Al's house taken in April[bottom jet lag picture!] and May[Top pic.] of 2000 in Seattle ,Wa. I look a bit older today but 15 pounds thinner thanks to Capo my Siberian!


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

The more you talk, the more people hear things you didn't say.

Leroy Gibbs


----------



## Capolini

It is only when I reveal my true self that I learn who I am. By revealing it to others I not only learn who I am but who my true friends are. "Me" 6.4.2000


----------



## buddyrohr

@capolini unreal man. he looks like cab calloway. are you experienced.


----------



## orbital

Capolini said:


> It is only when I reveal my true self that I learn who I am. By revealing it to others I not only learn who I am but who my true friends are. "Me" 6.4.2000



+

Yet we are in a forum, which we reveal almost nothing about our true selves.


----------



## Capolini

orbital said:


> +
> 
> Yet we are in a forum, which we reveal almost nothing about our true selves.



I see what your saying but I disagree to a certain extent.

Some People reveal a lot about themselves on here. They just are not aware of it and do not realize that "Other" people can look right through them without even seeing them!! lol! **


----------



## orbital

Capolini said:


> I see what your saying but I disagree to a certain extent.
> 
> Some People reveal a lot about themselves on here. They just are not aware of it and do not realize that "Other" people can look right through them without even seeing them!! lol! **



+

I know this about you,, your pooch is king!


----------



## Capolini

orbital said:


> +
> 
> I know this about you,, your pooch is king!



You are 100% right! ,,,,,"Dogs are the best people"! :twothumbs


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Today's word for the day: Anthropomorphism. 

~ Chance


----------



## nbp

I used that word yesterday when one of my friends was talking about how animals love humans back.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Dogs are better people than people. They could never play poker though


----------



## Capolini

PhotonWrangler said:


> Dogs are better people than people. They could never play poker though




sorry Photonwrangler,,I don't get it!!! How did you come up with that one and please explain the logic?!! :thinking:


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Dogs can't play poker because any time they'd get a winning hand, their tails would start wagging.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

PhotonWrangler said:


> Dogs can't play poker because any time they'd get a winning hand, their tails would start wagging.



So it's your position that dogs can't have a "poker-face", er tail, poker-tail.

~ Chance :laughing:


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

nbp said:


> I used that word yesterday when one of my friends was talking about how animals love humans back.



Dogs just pretend to love humans cuz they can't opperate a can opener. If they ever learn how, it'll be game over.

~ Chance


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Dogs just pretend to love humans cuz they can't opperate a can opener. If they ever learn how, it'll be game over.
> 
> ~ Chance



Naw, you're thinking of cats. Dogs have owners; cats have staff.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

PhotonWrangler said:


> Naw, you're thinking of cats. Dogs have owners; cats have staff.



Ill be right back to disprove your theory, but first I have to let the cat back in, then clean his litter box. Litter box, that's a gentle euphemism if I've ever heard one.

~ Chance


----------



## Cataract

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Today's word for the day: Anthropomorphism.
> 
> ~ Chance




AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! DINGDINGDINGDING!!!!!!

(oh, wait, you didn't say it was the *secret* word...)



Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Dogs just pretend to love humans cuz they can't opperate a can opener. If they ever learn how, it'll be game over.
> 
> ~ Chance



Women would like to argue that _they_ are man's best friend. As an experiment, lock both your wife or girlfriend and dog outside on a cold January day and wait a couple of minutes then open the door and tell me which one is happy to see you?


----------



## nbp

Cataract said:


> Be a gentleman and show your interest or, ideally, make some plans with her when the moment is ripe.



Done and done.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

nbp said:


> Done and done.



:goodjob: All the best.

~ Chance


----------



## Cataract

nbp said:


> Done and done.



You sound confident all of a sudden. Chance said it best: All the best


----------



## nbp

I got her number, I invited her to something and she accepted. She reciprocated by inviting me to something as well which I accepted. So I'm pleased with the progress. I guess I'll see how it goes! 

To keep this moderately on topic, I like these words to live by as well: "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need." -Mick Jagger


----------



## Slumber

"You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need." - Vernon Howard


----------



## PhotonWrangler

A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
- Douglas Adams


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Never assume the person you're talking to on the phone is actually listening to what you're saying.

~ Chance


----------



## Cyclops942

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Never assume the person you're talking to on the phone is actually listening to what you're saying.
> 
> ~ Chance


Remove "on the phone" from the above comment, and I think it becomes far more general, and yet no less appropriate.


----------



## Empath

If you say "gullible" slowly
it sounds like "oranges"


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Cyclops942 said:


> Remove "on the phone" from the above comment, and I think it becomes far more general, and yet no less appropriate.




"I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

~ Chance


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Empath said:


> If you say "gullible" slowly
> it sounds like "oranges"



No it doesn't, I tried four times.

~ Chance


----------



## Ladd

*“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”* —Betty Reese


----------



## Cataract

Empath said:


> If you say "gullible" slowly
> it sounds like "oranges"



Good try...




Chauncey Gardiner said:


> No it doesn't, I tried four times.
> 
> ~ Chance



Try again!


----------



## Cataract

Ladd said:


> *“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”* —Betty Reese



Good one, but the mosquito is not trying to get rid of me...


----------



## WarRaven

It's never so bad, that it can't get worse.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Just when you least expect it, gravity shows up.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

WarRaven said:


> It's never so bad, that it can't get worse.



Never challenge Worse. He's always listening and loves a challenge.

~ Chance


----------



## WarRaven

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Never challenge Worse. He's always listening and loves a challenge.
> 
> ~ Chance


+1


----------



## Monocrom

orbital said:


> +
> 
> Yet we are in a forum, which we reveal almost nothing about our true selves.



Speak for yourself. I've never once pretended to be normal.


----------



## Cataract

Monocrom said:


> Speak for yourself. I've never once pretended to be normal.



Not many CPFers have pretended to be normal. Many have asked if they were, though. In the end, we find our flashaholic normality on here, but not in the other circles unless they are part of some CPF subforum. For the rest, there are other forums but if you are really on a quest to assess your normality, you will only find that nothing is normal outside the realm of eating, sleeping, grooming and being stuck in the prison of work and consumerism. Even then, if you don't work or buy anything, you are hunting, gathering (including dumpster folks) or growing. Show me someone who does something outside these 3 ways to get his food and I will show you someone who is not normal, but is really completely free of society.


----------



## bestellen

Choose carefully your words, for once cast upon the sea of humanity, they may oft be
misread, but never retrieved.​


----------



## Monocrom

Cataract said:


> Not many CPFers have pretended to be normal. Many have asked if they were, though. In the end, we find our flashaholic normality on here, but not in the other circles unless they are part of some CPF subforum. For the rest, there are other forums but if you are really on a quest to assess your normality, you will only find that nothing is normal outside the realm of eating, sleeping, grooming and being stuck in the prison of work and consumerism. Even then, if you don't work or buy anything, you are hunting, gathering (including dumpster folks) or growing. Show me someone who does something outside these 3 ways to get his food and I will show you someone who is not normal, but is really completely free of society.



I'll dig up a corpse, and drop it at your front door. Dead person still counts as "someone."


----------



## Monocrom

bestellen said:


> Choose carefully your words, for once cast upon the sea of humanity, they may oft be
> misread, but never retrieved.​



Humanity is a disgusting thing to behold. Call me a landlover.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

When all else fails, read the instructions.


----------



## Cataract

Monocrom said:


> I'll dig up a corpse, and drop it at your front door. Dead person still counts as "someone."



Corpses don't DO anything. Decaying is something that happens TO them...




PhotonWrangler said:


> When all else fails, read the instructions.



...if that in turns fails as well, call an expert. If YOU are the expert, then call the distributor. If the distributor fails, call the manufacturer. If the manufacturer is no longer, reverse engineer. If you are still failing, call a better expert. In case of continuous failure, let someone who knows nothing of the machine fix it. At this point, do not attempt to understand why that works; ignorance can supersede the laws of physics, so just let it be. (and I speak from experience here...)


----------



## Lellobeetle

Only if you have been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain. -Richard Nixon


----------



## yoyoman

An expert is someone who learns more and more about less and less.


----------



## RetroTechie

No coffee, no progress. 

-me


----------



## PhotonWrangler

RetroTechie said:


> No coffee, no progress.
> 
> -me



I'll drink (a cup of coffee) to that!


----------



## Lite_me

You'll never be as young as you are right now.


----------



## sinner-cpf

certain problems are much broader as they seem to be..


----------



## Cataract

If you're having trouble with everything around you, stop blaming everything.


----------



## FRITZHID

When in a combat situation, never place your light in your back pocket. You may light yourself up like an angel....and soon become one.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Never trust Little Man and The Twins. There's no end to the lies they'll tell to get what they want.  

~ Chance


----------



## Monocrom

Lite_me said:


> You'll never be as young as you are right now.



Wouldn't those be more along the lines of "Words to commit suicide by."


----------



## Lite_me

Monocrom said:


> Wouldn't those be more along the lines of "Words to commit suicide by."


That's a terrible comment. I hope you know that.


----------



## Monocrom

Lite_me said:


> That's a terrible comment. I hope you know that.



Here's one even worse.... Everyone who was alive less than 200 years ago, is now dead. Very same thing will happen again, in the same amount of time. 

When you watch a silent film from the 1920s, every young adult actor you're looking at, is dead.


----------



## idleprocess

Work has a tendency to expand to fit the time allocated to it.


----------



## Lite_me

Monocrom said:


> Here's one even worse.... Everyone who was alive less than 200 years ago, is now dead. Very same thing will happen again, in the same amount of time.
> 
> When you watch a silent film from the 1920s, every young adult actor you're looking at, is dead.


I'm not talking death here, we're talking suicide. It doesn't sound like you've lost a family member or someone close to you to suicide. I found your comment insensitive and a bit offensive. That's it!


----------



## FRITZHID

Lite_me said:


> I'm not talking death here, we're talking suicide. It doesn't sound like you've lost a family member or someone close to you to suicide. I found your comment insensitive and a bit offensive. That's it!



Perhaps you should be less offended. Hmmm?


----------



## Monocrom

Lite_me said:


> I'm not talking death here, we're talking suicide. It doesn't sound like you've lost a family member or someone close to you to suicide. I found your comment insensitive and a bit offensive. That's it!




Actually, certain CPFers know whom I've lost. And how I lost them. 

I'll leave it at that.


----------



## magellan

Never draw to an inside straight, or drive with a cup of hot coffee between your legs.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

FRITZHID said:


> Perhaps you should be less offended. Hmmm?




Perhaps. But how can that be known without being aware of Lite_me's personal experience with the subject? The fact that he/she chose to post should give one pause. Suggesting how people should or shouldn't feel is a rabbit hole best left unexplored. 

~ Chance


----------



## FRITZHID

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Perhaps. But how can that be known without being aware of Lite_me's personal experience with the subject? The fact that he/she chose to post should give one pause. Suggesting how people should or shouldn't feel is a rabbit hole best left unexplored.
> 
> ~ Chance



Or perhaps letting online things go?
O.O


----------



## sinner-cpf

teach yourself..


----------



## LGT

What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

I know a guy who says he's allergic to alcohol. Whenever he drinks, he breaks out in handcuffs


----------



## LGT

PhotonWrangler said:


> I know a guy who says he's allergic to alcohol. Whenever he drinks, he breaks out in handcuffs


Breaks out of where while wearing handcuffs?


----------



## Cataract

idleprocess said:


> Work has a tendency to expand to fit the time allocated to it.




I'm stealing this one. I might even engrave it on my boss' desk so he stops asking why it took so long.


----------



## idleprocess

Cataract said:


> I'm stealing this one. I might even engrave it on my boss' desk so he stops asking why it took so long.



My father uttered that in a moment of realization when it became apparent home project was being made more complex and time-consuming than necessary by a desire for perfection rather than meeting the objective and calling it done. I can't recall the specific project, but it wasn't some showpiece where one's labors would be on display for others to marvel at the ingenuity, craftsmanship, and intricate detail.

The thought occurred to me some time later in my previous career when I found myself working on final details for an isometric perspective assembly drawing that would _never be visible_ when printed at the 300 DPI we exported our files to. Good thing too since I'd begged for more time earlier and had moved on to the next item by the time the boss asked for an update.

It's complimentary to _don't sweat the small stuff_ in that focusing on the true objective helps you to realize once you've crossed a threshold and are adding value that will ultimately be unappreciated. In my present career I often find myself building calculators, trackers, and estimators in Excel; a good design is modular (i.e. variables in user fields, formulas broken out whenever modifications are likely) - but only to the point that you're allowing for changes that are _likely to be used_.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

idleprocess said:


> It's complimentary to _don't sweat the small stuff_ in that focusing on the true objective helps you to realize once you've crossed a threshold and are adding value that will ultimately be unappreciated. In my present career I often find myself building calculators, trackers, and estimators in Excel; a good design is modular (i.e. variables in user fields, formulas broken out whenever modifications are likely) - but only to the point that you're allowing for changes that are _likely to be used_.



The other day I learned a new phrase - "Shaving the Yak." This happens many times in my daily life. Your description of the endless recursion of tasks reminded me of this.

//Experienced Yak shaver


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

It was during my 30's that I finally came to realize I was a perfectionist. It probably could have been attributed to daddy issues. No matter. I was having a really hard time putting the finishing touches on our kitchen remodel. After giving the situation considerable thought the reason finally dawned on me. As soon as I called it finished ....... everything that wasn't perfect would bug the hell out of me. I recognized my perfectionism was a stumbling block to happiness and decided to not let it control me. It was a short time later that I coined the following,

_Only God does perfect work. Men should strive for excellence. _

~ Chance


----------



## idleprocess

PhotonWrangler said:


> The other day I learned a new phrase - "Shaving the Yak." This happens many times in my daily life. Your description of the endless recursion of tasks reminded me of this.
> 
> //Experienced Yak shaver



Heh. While I often find myself doing this very sort of thing...

_Co-worker: I need an order fixed
Me: OK...
Co-worker: It's broken and we need to dispatch on it tomorrow
Me: Details underwhelm
Co-worker: It's throwing some error I've never seen [describes in some vague, useless detail]
Me: Order number, address, phone number, the customer's favorite color, blood type, *something I can find them with*
Co-worker: oh ... hang on
Me: And what are they doing?
Co-worker: ?
Me: New install? Move? Change? Disconnect? Some new trick that sales has coined to scam more credit in order to perform some minuscule change?
Co-worker: [finally coughs up details relevant to the order provisioning process]
Me: OK, now I can research it
[2 minutes go by]
Me: Wow, this is f__ked up. Someone tried to triple-stamp a double stamp ... *six times*
[5 minutes go by]
Me: How many orders per month do they need at this address anyway?
[7 minutes go by]
Me: I'm going to need a bigger hammer
[10 minutes go by]
Me: I know how to fix this, but I'm going to need you to step away for a few minutes unless you too want to be asked awkward questions by unsmiling men in serious suits should this go sideways
[18 minutes go by]
Me: OK, it's fixed. However, I need to tell you something and I need to know you understand me. *I will choke the gates of the underworld with the souls of your loved ones* - if you or anyone else touches that order again. But so long as it completes and we bill for it all will be well and maybe I'll forget the name of that salesperson.
Co-Worker: Uhm, sales just updated it and it's broken again
Me: Be right back. I'm going to obtain a roll of used carpet, a spade, and a sack of lime._

... what I was describing was more along the lines of *apple polishing*.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Idleprocess, I can relate. Thanks for sharing that story. It's Dilbert's world and we're all living in it.


----------



## WarRaven

May your horse never stumble,
Your cinch never break.
Your belly never grumble,
Or your heart ever ache.

Hardly known cowboy poem.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

WarRaven said:


> May your horse never stumble,
> Your cinch never break.
> Your belly never grumble,
> Or your heart ever ache.
> 
> Hardly known cowboy poem.



What about cowboy's truck? Poem needs another verse .....maybe two, since he probably has a dog.


~ Chance


----------



## WarRaven

Duly noted, thinking....
For the old truck still shakes,
Your pal at shotgun.
Free in the wind what ever it takes.
For you're never alone with your pal in the half ton. 

WR


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

That's beautiful. 

~ Chance


----------



## WarRaven

Have to picture an old truck, couple spare tires riding like saddle bags just inside tail gate, rear slider window latch missing, all the cab and body lights work brilliantly. Painted a tan and brown from factory and sun faded, sporting old silver rims with baby moons. Of course tweed seat cover and gun rack.
Might be an old Alabama greatest hits on eight track in dash.
Good chunk of leather hide for floor mats.

Doh, I'm way o/t here, sorry.

Edit, forgot flask in door pocket an back up supply behind seat in corner.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Last week ....... I inherited my father's 1974, 3/4 Ton, 454 Chevy PU. I'm the second owner. The truck your poem reminds me of is the one he sold before buying the "new" one. It was a red, 49 Ford with a flathead V8. Wish I had it also. Man, I didn't realize how much I loved that truck until 35 years after he sold it. I have two teenage sons. They could have both owned a truck handed down from their grandfather.

BOT, Never let your dad sell his old pickup truck. Tell him you want it.

~ Chance


----------



## WarRaven

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Last week ....... I inherited my father's 1974, 3/4 Ton, 454 Chevy PU. I'm the second owner. The truck your poem reminds me of is the one he sold before buying the "new" one. It was a red, 49 Ford with a flathead V8. Wish I had it also. Man, I didn't realize how much I loved that truck until 35 years after he sold it. I have two teenage sons. They could have both owned a truck handed down from their grandfather.
> 
> BOT, Never let your dad sell his old pickup truck. Tell him you want it.
> 
> ~ Chance


Darn near same story in my life, old man loved his ford trucks and two door Lincoln's.
Never got to get my hands on them sadly the last ones, 70 f100 and 69 continental with reverse hinged hood, 462ci.

So, way sorry for O/T all.
Please resume regularly scheduled programming at your leisure.

Dear god, I missed what you said, My condolences Sir. 
My old friend left this world ten plus years ago, it's never been as bright since IMO.


----------



## idleprocess

PhotonWrangler said:


> Idleprocess, I can relate. Thanks for sharing that story. It's Dilbert's world and we're all living in it.



The price to be paid for heavily silo'ed organizations with far too many enterprise systems and highly divergent organizational scorecards. Usually activates service with minimal fuss for the end customer, and most importantly for me _puts food on the table_ when it doesn't.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

The Netflix offering, Sense8, was reciently reccomended ......... 

It doesn't matter how much lipstick you put on a pig, it's still a pig.

~ Chance


----------



## FRITZHID

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> It doesn't matter how much lipstick you put on a pig, it's still a pig.
> 
> ~ Chance



Right up there with "sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken". -Tyler Durden.


----------



## magellan

LOL

Reminds me of the late Chris Farley in the movie, Tommy Boy. "...and if I wanted to get a good look at a steak, I could stick my head up a bull's ***."


----------



## Cataract

idleprocess said:


> My father uttered that in a moment of realization when it became apparent home project was being made more complex and time-consuming than necessary by a desire for perfection rather than meeting the objective and calling it done. I can't recall the specific project, but it wasn't some showpiece where one's labors would be on display for others to marvel at the ingenuity, craftsmanship, and intricate detail.
> 
> The thought occurred to me some time later in my previous career when I found myself working on final details for an isometric perspective assembly drawing that would _never be visible_ when printed at the 300 DPI we exported our files to. Good thing too since I'd begged for more time earlier and had moved on to the next item by the time the boss asked for an update.
> 
> It's complimentary to _don't sweat the small stuff_ in that focusing on the true objective helps you to realize once you've crossed a threshold and are adding value that will ultimately be unappreciated. In my present career I often find myself building calculators, trackers, and estimators in Excel; a good design is modular (i.e. variables in user fields, formulas broken out whenever modifications are likely) - but only to the point that you're allowing for changes that are _likely to be used_.



My story is simpler: whenever I am at a client's site with plenty of reasons to hope I will finish early, fans and bags of manure appear out of nowhere (or Yaks and electric shavers) and I end up leaving at about the same time I would leave the office.



PhotonWrangler said:


> The other day I learned a new phrase - "Shaving the Yak." This happens many times in my daily life. Your description of the endless
> recursion of tasks reminded me of this.
> 
> //Experienced Yak shaver



I should buy a Yak farm and stop pretending. 

What's with all the farm animals all of a sudden? Good ones, though...


----------



## ycwflash10

happy wife, happy life. 
no more..


----------



## noe&poppy

Emancipate myself from my past. The only way to move forward is to stop looking back!


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

ycwflash10 said:


> happy wife, happy life.
> no more..





noe&poppy said:


> Emancipate myself from my past. The only way to move forward is to stop looking back!




:welcome: It's always good to see new members!

~ Chance


----------



## roxanwright

“I'm about to do something very clever and a tiny bit against the rules of the universe. It's important that I'm properly dressed.” 
― Tommy Donbavand, _Doctor Who: Shroud of Sorrow_


----------



## StarHalo

Peter Stark's _Astoria_ chronicles the Astoria expeditions to the distant and unknown West Coast in 1810; an early chapter points out the differences between the starched and staid American pilgrims and soldiers versus the cavalier and carefree French-Canadian inland traders, as illustrated from this quote from a French-Canadian traveler in the early 1900s:

_"I could carry, paddle, walk and sing with any man I ever saw. I have been twenty-four years a canoe man, and forty-one years in service; no portage was ever too long for me. Fifty songs could I sing. I have saved the lives of ten voyageurs. Have had twelve wives and six running dogs. I spent all my money in pleasure. Were I young again, I should spend my life the same way over. There is no life so happy as a voyageur’s life!"_


----------



## RBR

.....


----------



## heelsthrow

*Don't take life too seriously*. You'll never get out alive. - *Bugs Bunny*.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Buddha was being insulted by a man.
He was calling him names, a liar, a hypocrite, etc.
All Buddha did was sit there and remained silent.
After the man was done, Buddha asks, "If one person gives another a gift but that person refuses to accept it, to whom does the gift belong to?"
The man replied, "To the original giver of course!"
"Then those harsh words and insults, I refuse to accept them."


----------



## Cataract

PhotonWrangler said:


> Buddha was being insulted by a man.
> He was calling him names, a liar, a hypocrite, etc.
> All Buddha did was sit there and remained silent.
> After the man was done, Buddha asks, "If one person gives another a gift but that person refuses to accept it, to whom does the gift belong to?"
> The man replied, "To the original giver of course!"
> "Then those harsh words and insults, I refuse to accept them."



..and after a second of silence, Buddha went "HA! BUUUUUUURN!"


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Love me some Kill Bill.

~ Chance


----------



## bykfixer

"Live your life in a way your preacher won't have to lie at your funeral"

- unknown


----------



## StarHalo

bykfixer said:


> "Live your life in a way your preacher won't have to lie at your funeral"



He can't just be honest and blush?


----------



## Monocrom

bykfixer said:


> "Live your life in a way your preacher won't have to lie at your funeral"
> 
> - unknown



Oooo..... That's a good one.


----------



## Speedfreakz

It is what it is no matter how hard you don't want it to be.


----------



## P_A_S_1

As you slid down the bannister of life may all the splinters be in the right direction....

Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn....

Don't argue with an idiot, they'll only drag you down to their level and beat you with experience....

I can't means I won't......


----------



## Calmoceans

'But I would rather have it bent and dull and know I had to put it on the grindstone again and hammer it into shape and put a whetstone to it, and know that I had something to write about, than to have it bright and shining and nothing to say, or smooth and well-oiled in the closet, but unused. '
E Hemingway


----------



## Impossible lumens

Want what you have, not what you want. 

Works good until you have to want what you don't have.


----------



## Impossible lumens

RetroTechie said:


> No coffee, no progress.
> 
> -me



I like the refinement. Mine is along the lines of... MORE COFFEE!!!


----------



## Monocrom

99.5% of the people you meet in real life during your lifetime, will ultimately not be worth knowing. And that's an optimistic view of the world.


----------



## P_A_S_1

In life you'll run into and deal with problem people but if your always running into them everyday then it's probably you who is the problem.....

Anyone that boasts about what a 'stand up' guy they are is often anything but......

In the end it always about money, always......


----------



## P_A_S_1

Calmoceans said:


> 'But I would rather have it bent and dull and know I had to put it on the grindstone again and hammer it into shape and put a whetstone to it, and know that I had something to write about, than to have it bright and shining and nothing to say, or smooth and well-oiled in the closet, but unused. '
> E Hemingway



:thumbsup:


----------



## LGT

http://commonsensewonder.blogspot.com/2015/11/man-wearing-ankle-bracelet-stole.html
If you're wearing an ankle monitor, don't do this.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

That is some world class stupid.


----------



## Monocrom

Stupid and dangerous.... That's not a good combination.

BTW, I think that article left off a couple of zeroes. An M11 is a SIG Sauer P228. Over $1,000? Maybe if he only stole two M11s.


----------



## lightlover

P_A_S_1 said:


> *..... problem people ... but ... it's probably you who is the problem.....*



It took me 40+ years to learn that . . . .


----------



## Cataract

Here's how I put it several years ago: if you have problems with everyone around you, stop blaming everyone...


----------



## Monocrom

lightlover said:


> It took me 40+ years to learn that . . . .



For 40 years, I've had to adjust my personalty to get along with the vast majority of co-workers. You see them everyday, often work closely with them.... Who wants to gear up for an argument everyday before going to work. Such individuals have included racists, both White and Black varieties, stoners, young punks, hard-core feminists, and ghetto pieces of trash (The last one was even honest about being what she was, yet had no plans to even try to better herself).

No.... Sometimes it is everyone else that's the problem. If you have to constantly show others special consideration instead of the other way around..... Yeah, it's them. Not you.


----------



## P_A_S_1

lightlover said:


> It took me 40+ years to learn that . . . .



Better late then never, some don't get it ever.


----------



## P_A_S_1

I read this on another forum and thought it was good, it's in regards to work or providing services.

Good, Fast, Cheap.....pick any two.


----------



## LGT

PhotonWrangler said:


> Never try to teach a pig to sing.
> It only wastes your time, and annoys the pig.


That is so stupid that it's funny. I just picture one with a "treat" in hand asking the pig to...."come on, sing like you did before while I wasn't filming this!"


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Nothing good ever comes after "Hold my beer and watch this..."


----------



## Cataract

P_A_S_1 said:


> I read this on another forum and thought it was good, it's in regards to work or providing services.
> 
> Good, Fast, Cheap.....pick any two.



I often use the "Quality, speed, cost" pick 2 version of this. I believe this is a form of law used in finance. 

I remember an article in Discover magazine where the author criticized NASA's new vision of "better, faster, cheaper" as circumventing this basic law and pointed how miserably they failed to understand it by crashing a billion(?) dollar rover on Mars.


----------



## Cataract

PhotonWrangler said:


> Nothing good ever comes after "Hold my beer and watch this..."



Yup... never trust anyone with your beer!


----------



## P_A_S_1

Nothing builds false friendships like alcohol.


----------



## idleprocess

P_A_S_1 said:


> Nothing builds false friendships like alcohol.


It amazes me how many people fail to grasp that.

I remember sitting down in a bar where I was going to meet someone in a few hours to go elsewhere. Had some food, ordered a few drinks, and took a casual interest in whatever sportsball was on TV with the goal to kill time. Less than 30 minutes into it this drunk shows up and acts like I'm his best friend from decades past. I had time to kill so I occasionally acted like the monologue was a conversation, but not too long after my friend arrived I was eager to GTFO, so I did ... mid-sentence for this guy too if I recall.


----------



## Beamhead

My friends are few, but true.


----------



## idleprocess

Beamhead said:


> My friends are few, but true.


Reminded me of a bit of dialogue...

_*Turkey Creek Jack Johnson*: Doc, you oughta be in bed, what the hell you doin this for anyway?
*Doc Holliday*: Wyatt Earp is my friend.
*Turkey Creek Jack Johnson*: Hell, I got lots of friends.
*Doc Holliday*: I don't._


----------



## Cataract

Okay, this had me realize one very deep truth:

Only ONE person on Earth really has you best interest as a 100% priority. If it ain't you, then no one does.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

That's why you left your wife under that golf cart. :tsk:

~ Chance


----------



## P_A_S_1

In regards to finances; 
How much you spend is more important then how much you make.


----------



## Cataract

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> That's why you left your wife under that golf cart. :tsk:
> 
> ~ Chance





Wrote this one in my little sayings book the same night:

You are as old as you think, feel and act. 


(True story): When I was 20, on a beautiful sunny and very comfortable summer day I walked out of the house to got to work and stopped a minute to look up, enjoy the fresh air, the sun and beauty of the day. I realized that if I had a choicae to stop aging at any moment I chose, I would have chosen that very year. I believe I stopped aging in my mind at that very moment. I am still getting wiser with time but, in my heart, I am still 20 years young. Still, if I would love a woman enough to marry her, she wouldn't stay under the gold cart for anyone else. I've been single, which means some woman is suffering for not meeting me earlier in her life... that is the honest truth and only the truth...Some poor woman is definitely suffering for no good reason at all. (I bet a lots of people are completely lost with the golf cart references by now  )


----------



## Poppy

There is no tonal inflection in the written word, as there is in the spoken word.

When I write, I often use more words than I would if I was speaking to some one. The reason being, is that I want to be as clear as possible, so that there is no misunderstanding, or misinterpretation. Often, too often misinterpretations lead to hard feelings.

Years ago, there was a fellow who often twisted my words. Not a particularly pleasant character. I learned to re-read my posts, to correct spelling, improve sentence structure, and try to improve clarity. To write in a manner that there is no doubt of my meaning, so that if this fellow were to twist my meaning it would be obvious to all involved, that he was being purposefully obtuse.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Cataract said:


> Wrote this one in my little sayings book the same night:
> 
> You are as old as you think, feel and act.
> 
> 
> (True story): When I was 20, on a beautiful sunny and very comfortable summer day I walked out of the house to got to work and stopped a minute to look up, enjoy the fresh air, the sun and beauty of the day. I realized that if I had a choicae to stop aging at any moment I chose, I would have chosen that very year. I believe I stopped aging in my mind at that very moment. I am still getting wiser with time but, in my heart, I am still 20 years young. Still, if I would love a woman enough to marry her, she wouldn't stay under the gold cart for anyone else. I've been single, which means some woman is suffering for not meeting me earlier in her life... that is the honest truth and only the truth...Some poor woman is definitely suffering for no good reason at all. (*I bet a lots of people are completely lost with the golf cart references by now  )*



Well, it doesn't help that you typed gold cart. :nana:

~ Chance


----------



## Steve K

PhotonWrangler said:


> Nothing good ever comes after "Hold my beer and watch this..."



unless you are watching America's Funniest Home Videos. 
...or Tosh.0


----------



## StarHalo

The self is a ship made seaworthy by being dashed upon the rocks repeatedly.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

If you can survive disappointment, nothing can beat you.

-Louis C.K.


----------



## sidecross

"The opposite of love is note hate; it is power"

Carl Jung quoted from "The Devil's Chessboard: Allen Dulles, the CIA, and the Rise of America's Secret Government" by David Talbot


----------



## idleprocess

sidecross said:


> "The opposite of love is note hate; it is power"
> 
> Carl Jung quoted from "The Devil's Chessboard: Allen Dulles, the CIA, and the Rise of America's Secret Government" by David Talbot


Interesting quote - I'm about 75% of the way through _The Brothers: John Foster Dulles, Allen Dulles, and Their Secret World War_ and it seems quite fitting.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

I have on occasion come across this variation, The opposite of love is apathy. I think it to be the more accurate.

~ Chance


----------



## nbp

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> I have on occasion come across this variation, The opposite of love is apathy. I think it to be the more accurate.
> 
> ~ Chance



Agreed. Love and hate are closer on spectrum than people think. They are connected by strong passion. Apathy or indifference shows a complete lack of passion.


----------



## bykfixer

You're only as old as you feel..
Until shoveling snow all day...

Pro boxer Jack Johnson was pulled over for speeding. The police officer said "that'll be $50."
Jack retorted "take $100, I'll be back through later."

The guy who ate the first chicken egg said "I'm gonna eat the next thing that drops from that chicken's butt."

You can lead 'em to water, but they'll probably choose Pepsi. 

No pain/no gain is over rated.

And finally
The flashlight is your friend.


----------



## sidecross

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> I have on occasion come across this variation, The opposite of love is apathy. I think it to be the more accurate.
> 
> ~ Chance


The quote I posted: ""The opposite of love is not hate; it is power"

Carl Jung quoted from "The Devil's Chessboard: Allen Dulles, the CIA, and the Rise of America's Secret Government" by David Talbot 



I would say the opposite of "apathy" would be 'The Conscious'. Noun: 'The conscious, Psychoanalysis'. the part of the mind comprising psychic material of which the individual is aware. 

This not an issue of an absolute but one of difference as in "Is the glass half full or half empty?"

But both the words 'love' and 'hate' are words implying action of thought, while the word 'apathy' is a word of inaction.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Reality = science fiction + time.


----------



## sidecross

PhotonWrangler said:


> Reality = science fiction + time.




Plus Gravitational Waves. :thumbsup:

https://www.theguardian.com/science...scovery-hailed-as-breakthrough-of-the-century


----------



## bykfixer

When all my friends are dead and gone I'll still have one...me.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
_
-Yogi Berra_


----------



## Chay

"Get busy living or get busy dying." - The Shawshank Redemption


----------



## sidecross

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

Albert Einstein


----------



## Monocrom

PhotonWrangler said:


> A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
> _
> -Yogi Berra_




It almost is. U.S. nickel = 75% copper, 25% nickel.
Have you seen the price of copper lately? 
There's a reason folks are hoarding nickels now.


----------



## sidecross

Monocrom said:


> It almost is. U.S. nickel = 75% copper, 25% nickel.
> Have you seen the price of copper lately?
> There's a reason folks are hoarding nickels now.


It was not too long ago that some speculators purchased huge volumes of pennies betting on their Cu value would out value their worth against the U.S. dollar.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Monocrom said:


> It almost is. U.S. nickel = 75% copper, 25% nickel.
> Have you seen the price of copper lately?
> There's a reason folks are hoarding nickels now.



So a nickel is penny colored inside and a penny is nickel colored inside. This says something about the value of each of the metals, but this is getting confusing.


----------



## Monocrom

sidecross said:


> It was not too long ago that some speculators purchased huge volumes of pennies betting on their Cu value would out value their worth against the U.S. dollar.



That's not a bad bet, actually. The U.S. dollar is backed by..... nothing.

Can't exchange it for gold, silver, heck not even copper. (Unless by accident if you get a coin roll of pennies that magically has coins that are all Pre-mid. 1982.) 

To stay on topic, back when the President was asked about the reduction and eventual discontinuation of silver in U.S. dimes and quarters starting in 1965, he said that Americans should just have faith in the strength of U.S. money.

Yeah, folks back in the mid 1960s started hoarding Pre-1965 quarters and dimes. 90% silver. Hey, remember when the dollar was the strongest and most respected currency in the world? I do! I think I was 12 back then.


----------



## Beamhead

Monocrom, I have one of the last 1963 series issued "United States Note" $5 dollar bills, it is a collectors item. I could say so much more but will refrain.


----------



## Monocrom

PhotonWrangler said:


> So a nickel is penny colored inside and a penny is nickel colored inside. This says something about the value of each of the metals, but this is getting confusing.




All current U.S. nickels: 75% copper.
All Pre-mid 1982 pennies: 90% copper.
All Pre-1965 dimes and quarters: 90% silver. Between 1965-1970: 40% silver.

Here's some words to live by..... Know the difference between real money. (Coins made with actual precious metals.) And intrinsically worthless or fiat money.


----------



## Beamhead

I worked in a steel/copper mill in the late 70's and we would get deliverys from tommy gun toting treasury agents of what we called super silver, it was mixed with copper and used for the creamy oreo center of dimes and quarters at the time, the face and tail of said coins back then were basically nickel, there was only silver in the creamy center.


----------



## Monocrom

Sadly, that center is not creamy enough. Just a continuous reduction until now, there's nothing left except the face-value of a coin. :shakehead


----------



## Beamhead

BOT, not sure if this has been posted yet, vote or you can't complain!


----------



## Monocrom

"In America, you can curse the darkness all you want. Even if you have a match to light a candle.... or a flashlight to light up the entire room." ~ Me


----------



## StarHalo

"Whenever Hailey tells me kids at school were mean to her I want to go find those kids and tell them that I’m them from the future and that they’ve failed miserably. And then I’d be like, 'And look how fat you got.'" - Jenny Lawson, from _Furiously Happy_


----------



## bykfixer

Never let your alligator mouth over ride your canary brain.
- a co-worker of mine

Can't fix stupid
- another coworker

Don't like logging? Try wiping with plastic
- bumper sticker

I'd punch that idiot but the only changes would the shape of my knuckles and my employment status
- me


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Freedom of speech should not give one the right to act like a "donkey" *at work*. Not even if you're a has-been quarterback. 
- Me


----------



## roger-roger

Beware the man in the grey suit -- Hawaii breathhold divers, trailing dead fish in the water

(Actually I heard the term "man in the grey suit" came from Australia.)


----------



## tab665

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Freedom of speech should not give one the right to act like a "donkey" *at work*. Not even if you're a has-been quarterback.
> - Me


i take it your not a big kapernick fan right now


----------



## The Burgh

The older I get, the smarter I used to be!


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know. 
- Me.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

There is no such thing as a leakproof battery.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

A barking dog does not catch a hare.
_ - Finnish proverb_


----------



## roger-roger

"And yet it moves" 
- Galilieo


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Never expect anyone to be as excited about your new flashlight as you are. 
- Me 

~ Chance


----------



## bykfixer

Or.....




When every candidate sucks... write in Joe Walsh.


----------



## StarHalo

bykfixer said:


> When every candidate sucks... write in Joe Walsh.



I heard life's been good to him so far..


----------



## Burgess

But he buys fancy FOREIGN CARS ! ! !


UAW says :thumbsdow



lovecpf
_


----------



## Monocrom

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Never expect anyone to be as excited about your new flashlight as you are.
> - Me
> 
> ~ Chance




In this community..... You might be wrong, good Sir.


----------



## bykfixer

Define irony. An aging Berkeley hippie demanding to act anyway he pleases under the guise of free speech. No group abhors free speech more than aging Berkeley hippies and their spawn. 

~ Chance

More profound-ness from the profounder who profounded this profound thread.


----------



## JoeAsheville

...yes.

-Me


----------



## Monocrom

JoeAsheville said:


> ...yes.
> 
> -Me



I wish the ladies had the same attitude you do, good Sir.


----------



## StarHalo

"_What was consciousness other than the surface of the soul’s ocean? Other than small, brightly colored boats, floating plastic bottles, and driftwood, waves and currents, whatever the day might bring, over a depth of several thousand meters. Or depth was the wrong word. What was consciousness other than the cone of light from a torch in the middle of a dark forest_?" - Karl Ove Knausgaard, _My Struggle_, Vol. 5.


----------



## orbital

+

_We have bigger fish to fry.._


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Embrace free speech. Better men that you died for it.


----------



## RBR

.....


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

There are three levels of intelligence: smart, wise, and elderly. Smart people think they know everything. Wise people know they don't. Elderly people have forgotten more than you'll ever know. Try to stay in the second category as long as possible and learn from the third while you can.


----------



## Cyclops942

Free advice is usually worth what you pay for it.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

It's wise to learn from your mistakes. It's wiser to learn from the mistakes of others.


----------



## Offgridled

A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret!!


----------



## gadget_lover

If you have to paint something on a windy day, play it safe. Paint it the same color as your neighbor's car.


----------



## Nichia!

Life is so short & so fragile..


----------



## Father Azmodius

Bacon


----------



## PhotonWrangler

gadget_lover said:


> If you have to paint something on a windy day, play it safe. Paint it the same color as your neighbor's car.


----------



## Cyclops942

gadget_lover said:


> If you have to paint something on a windy day, play it safe. Paint it the same color as your neighbor's car.


Make sure it's the same color as your DOWNWIND neighbor's car...


----------



## Steve-at-Springboard

May the wind at your back - not be your own!! (Confucious, I think)


----------



## orbital

+

*Grind your leaves with a lawnmower in the fall & mother nature gives *_*bonuses *

_
_bonuses = _60~70 Morels in my yard 








__________^ Morel


----------



## StarHalo

“Society can give its young men almost any job and they'll figure how to do it. They'll suffer for it and die for it and watch their friends die for it, but in the end, it will get done. That only means that society should be careful about what it asks for.” ― Sebastian Junger


----------



## noboneshotdog

An old timer that I had worked with and admired very much often said "there ain't no bones in a hot dog" at random times. He was quite a character, and a good one at that. I took up my user name in honor of him.


----------



## Offgridled

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be*vague...


----------



## noboneshotdog

Offgridled said:


> If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be*vague...



Hey OG, You just reminded me of this one..... 

Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. 

Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to he** in such a way that they will be looking forward to the trip. 
Winston Churchill


----------



## heelsthrow




----------



## PhotonWrangler

Wow, that brings back memories. Here's the full version of Desiderata (you are a Child of the Universe). This was a hit record way back when.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

If you're unhappy, ........ it's because you're comparing your circumstances with those of the wrong people. 
- Chance The Gardiner


----------



## Monocrom

heelsthrow said:


>




So beyond incredibly true.


----------



## bykfixer

noboneshotdog said:


> An old timer that I had worked with and admired very much often said "there ain't no bones in a hot dog" at random times. He was quite a character, and a good one at that. I took up my user name in honor of him.



 Very cool :thumbsup:


When a coworker noticed on the back of my clipboard says "live your life so the preacher don't have to lie at your funeral" he asked "why you put that on your clipboard?" I responded "life's too short to carry boring clipboards"...


----------



## noboneshotdog

bykfixer said:


> Very cool :thumbsup:
> 
> 
> When a coworker noticed on the back of my clipboard says "live your life so the preacher don't have to lie at your funeral" he asked "why you put that on your clipboard?" I responded "life's too short to carry boring clipboards"...



Good stuff. Good living just feels better too. Helps you put your head down and sleep better at night knowing that you lived in an upright way. :thumbsup:


----------



## bykfixer

noboneshotdog said:


> Good stuff. Good living just feels better too. Helps you put your head down and sleep better at night knowing that you lived in an upright way. :thumbsup:



And knowing hot dogs aint got bones helps.


----------



## noboneshotdog

bykfixer said:


> And knowing hot dogs aint got bones helps.



Good thing. But, you never know???


----------



## bykfixer

Last night at my job where asphalt paving was taking place we took a break out of the road due to an upcoming thunderstorm. I'm in my truck with some Beatles tunes going kinda quietly. Nearby under the canopy of an old abandoned gas station the crew was gathered under the shelter. A crowd of about 20 old, young, brown, black, and white were standing around having a nice time. After about an hour a fellow walks up to me with a sour puss expression and commences to elaborating on everything wrong with the world. Paul McArtney is singing quietly in the back ground "in our yellow... submarine".... as the guy just kept on and on and on...

I say to the guy "you know what I think of all that?" And at that moment cranked up the volume knob... next thing you know 20 old, young, brown, black and white people are singing at the top of their lungs "WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE... A YELLOW SUBMARINE.. A YELLOW SUBMARINE"
Man, it was priceless.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

^ That's a great story. 

~ Chance


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Great story, bykfixer. The Beatles are timeless. :thumbsup:


----------



## Cyclops942

Great story showing how messed-up that guy's thinking really is/was. Thanks for sharing a hopeful message.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

You cannot heal yourself by hurting someone else.


----------



## Cyclops942

In order for one thing to become clean, something else must become dirty.

But you can get EVERYTHING dirty without getting ANYTHING clean.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks


----------



## Johnnyh

"What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do." -Bob Dylan


----------



## Monocrom

PhotonWrangler said:


> You cannot heal yourself by hurting someone else.



Sadly, many would prefer to hurt others.... rather than heal themselves.


----------



## Monocrom

On a more light-hearted note:

_"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Because if you do it today, and you like it, you can do it again tomorrow!" - Benny Hill_


----------



## Mchipman

" Wherever You Go.....There You Are"


----------



## orbital

+

_"If I don't have to think about it, it's working properly"_


-me


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. After awhile you realize that the engineer enjoys it.


----------



## bykfixer

Sometimes you meet your destiny on the road you took trying to avoid it.
- a line in the movie "International"

I have a neighbor who used run bike and swim to stay in shape and fight off father time. He ate nothing but healthy foods and avoided stress as much as possible. 
Before that he used to drink, smoke pot, eat too much ice cream and worked at the post office. 

Last year he nearly bled to death when a fish bone sliced his esophogus. His knees and ankles had begun to fail as well. He spent months in recovery while his esophogus healed, then months of physical therapy on his lower body. Shortly after he lost his cushey job of 20+ years.

Basically as he tried to travel down the road to a happy, healthy life his health food nearly killed him and his body began to give out. 

A year later he now enjoys an occasional bowl of ice cream or an occasional beer knowing that "destiny found him on the road he took to avoid it". And he happily works at the post office again. lol.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

bykfixer said:


> A year later he now enjoys an occasional bowl of ice cream or an occasional beer knowing that "destiny found him on the road he took to avoid it". And he happily works at the post office again. lol.



Wow. That's like quitting smoking and then getting run over by a beer truck. Glad he's better now.


----------



## Monocrom

PhotonWrangler said:


> Wow. That's like quitting smoking and then getting run over by a beer truck. Glad he's better now.



+1 on him doing better. 

This story reminds me of the fitness guru Jim Fixx. Remember him? Very healthy lifestyle. Huge proponent of running.... Died of a Heart attack while out jogging one day. Comedian Denis Leary even came up with a stand-up routine about the tragic incident many years ago. Remember comedian John Candy? Fat and loveable.... One day he decides he needs to be healthier. Okay, good idea. He went from being Fat Albert sized to Kate Moss sized *WAY* too quickly. His body literally couldn't take the stress of the sudden, major weight-loss, and he died as a result. 

You could be the sickest heath nut in the world. Step off the curb one day, get run over by a Millennial busy texting while driving as he tells a friend how vinyl is sooo much better than streaming music, and how he ate a hot-dog on the 4th of July in an ironic way. 

Enjoy that beer, enjoy the company of your lady-friend because you might be dead next month, next week, or tomorrow. Hell, you might drop dead 5 minutes from now. If that's the case, why not have that beer in one hand and that lady-friend in the other. She'll likely be horrified, but she'll get over it.


----------



## bykfixer

I told a young engineer the other night (while he ate his super healthy salad and drank some kind of 'fountain of youth' miracle drink).... "live a little kid, statistics show cigarette smokers outlive marathon runners and pro football players". He says "how come?" And I said "dude you are born with X number of heart beats. Marathon runners and pro football players squander theirs running all the time, cigarette smokers can't breath so they sit around a lot". 

About that time a coworker walks up, pops open the tail gate of my truck, plops down on it, lights a cigarette and says "whatchyall talking about?"... 
The kid says "hmmmm... I see what you mean" 

So my words to live by are "you only have a limited amount of heart beats then it's game over". "Trouble with being dead; it lasts so long"...


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Monocrom said:


> ... She'll likely be horrified, but she'll get over it.



:laughing:



bykfixer said:


> "Trouble with being dead; it lasts so long"...



Depends on where you end-up. 

~ Chance


----------



## bykfixer

^^ Yup. 
Here's to streets of gold CG.

Today my project supervisor says at 3 in the afternoon "man this global warming thing... it's 92 degrees out here" 

I said "it's July.... in Virginia.. it happens" then I quipped "yup thanks to global warming the leaves on trees will turn bright colors then fall off in October"... being a family friendly site I cannot state his response, but will say that I heard more foul words in one sentence than ever before. To which I replied "dude you just set a record for the most bad words used in a sentence"... he broke his record with his next reply... 

Words to live by?
While you sweat this summer just remember how cold you'll be this winter.


----------



## Monocrom

I'm looking forward to the cold. I'm *THAT* guy.... The one who owns multiple winter coats for the two days out of the year it gets even too cold for me. Smokers outside, huddled together for warmth, shivering almost uncontrollably; as I pass by and say "Hello" with just a T-shirt on.

(Okay, I'm also wearing pants and shoes. I'm not _*that*_ guy who walks around with just a t-shirt on.) :thumbsup:


----------



## AO 17

bykfixer said:


> I told a young engineer the other night (while he ate his super healthy salad and drank some kind of 'fountain of youth' miracle drink).... "live a little kid, statistics show cigarette smokers outlive marathon runners and pro football players". He says "how come?" And I said "dude you are born with X number of heart beats. Marathon runners and pro football players squander theirs running all the time, cigarette smokers can't breath so they sit around a lot".
> 
> About that time a coworker walks up, pops open the tail gate of my truck, plops down on it, lights a cigarette and says "whatchyall talking about?"...
> The kid says "hmmmm... I see what you mean"
> 
> So my words to live by are "you only have a limited amount of heart beats then it's game over". "Trouble with being dead; it lasts so long"...



I appreciate this post, it really got me thinking. We try so hard to eat healthy, trying to have the perfect body so we can live forever. In reality, you have a limited amount of breaths and heartbeats. Forget the salad, I am going to get an ice cream bar.


----------



## Monocrom

A study released years ago came to the conclusion that at some point in time in Life... 10 out 10 people will die.


----------



## noboneshotdog

Monocrom said:


> A study released years ago came to the conclusion that at some point in time in Life... 10 out 10 people will die.



They also say that, four out of every three people have difficulty with math.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

This is how all good men should be woken in the morning. 

~ Chance


----------



## Cyclops942

bykfixer said:


> Words to live by? While you sweat this summer just remember how cold you'll be this winter.


 Umm... I live in Phoenix... that just ain't gonna happen.


----------



## Monocrom

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> This is how all good men should be woken in the morning.
> 
> ~ Chance




Well, the PG version anyway.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

You can't demand respect; it has to be earned.


----------



## AO 17

Offgridled said:


> A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret!!



I believe in this 100 percent. Thanks for posting it offgridled.


----------



## Monocrom

PhotonWrangler said:


> You can't demand respect; it has to be earned.



Really wish Millennials would learn this lesson.


----------



## bykfixer

"The older you get the greater you were"
Seen on the tag inside an Old Guys Rule t-shirt.





Monocrom said:


> Really wish Millennials would learn this lesson.


Ridiculous behavior from the youth was probably learned from the adults.
-Me

"Why do us kids have to be the adults when the adults keep acting like kids?"
- my friend Velda


----------



## noboneshotdog

bykfixer said:


> "The older you get the greater you were"
> Seen on the tag inside an Old Guys Rule t-shirt.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ridiculous behavior from the youth was probably learned from the adults.
> -Me
> 
> "Why do us kids have to be the adults when the adults keep acting like kids?"
> - my friend Velda



I like to say, "the older I get, the better I was". :naughty:


----------



## Monocrom

bykfixer said:


> Ridiculous behavior from the youth was probably learned from the adults.
> -Me



Only the ones who tried to be best friends with their creations.
-Me 

(Me sure gets around.)


----------



## noboneshotdog

I have a good wife. She will often remind me after making a mistake that Pobodies Nerfect. What a Gal!


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Squeeze the trigger, don't jerk it.   Squeeze it really fast when needed.

~ CG


----------



## PhotonWrangler

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.


----------



## Steve-at-Springboard

"A fear of weapons (and flashlights) is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity."

Mistakenly attributed to Sigmund Freud. Parenthetical comment mine.


----------



## orbital

+

_ Facts & Data._


----------



## bykfixer

You can get farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone.

- Al Capone

Saw it on a sign on detective Mike Torrelo's desk. (Dennis Farina role in the cult classic Crime Story)


"You can go out on a date with my wife, you can sit on my sofa, but you CANNOT WATCH MY TV".
-Mike Torrelo when he found his wife being unfaithful.


----------



## bykfixer

Today I had the pleasure of reading some emails acquired through the freedom of information act in a claim between a client and their opponent.

There is one really smart fellow who does not hold back how he feels when sending emails to his staff. 

There were two that had words to live by...


1) I fight off nuclear arsenals all day long only to have my own people throw a hand grenade in my lap with the pin pulled.

2) I know this tire's got a hole in it but please don't rip that patch off before I can get it to the repair station.

I left out the colorful metaphors.


----------



## RBR

*.....*


----------



## bykfixer

A sky scraper is only as good as its foundation. :ironic:

The other day my boss and I were talking about how we had been succesful at overcoming some beaurectratic red tape and he says "a farmers life is a lot easier when he just plows around the stump".


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Show me a guy that became a farmer to make his life easier, and I'll show you a starving broke guy. 

~ Cg


----------



## StarHalo




----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. However, sometimes the words in a picture make it priceless. 

~ Cg


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

A doofus quotes himself because no one else will. Don't be a doofus. 

~ Cg :laughing:


----------



## bykfixer

Coincidence is fate's favorite tool.
-Mozzie from White Collar season 5.

FBI criminal consultant Neil was concerned that the murder of his new "handler" may have been his fault since had been working on a caper not far from the scene earlier that afternoon. In an effort to relieve Neil's guilt his partner in crime Mozzie quoted the above.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow. 
-Plato


----------



## KITROBASKIN

EARTH
 without
​ART
is just
 EH


Enjoy Life


----------



## StarHalo

An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field. - Niels Bohr


----------



## bykfixer

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer to the end the faster it goes.
- My boss on why he is retiring next year so he can attend more car shows.... and spend more time in his garage.


----------



## scout24

"Everyone must choose one of two pains- the pain of discipline, or the pain of regret" - Jim Rohn


----------



## LGT

PhotonWrangler said:


> Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.
> -Plato


That is a good one to live by. In my line of work, electric co. Crew leader, some new lineman just get it more quickly then others, but as long as they're improving over time, I have no problem working with them.


----------



## bykfixer

Choosing right or wrong is easy.
It's picking the lesser of two wrongs that gets tricky.

- some lady behind me in line at a gas station talking on her celphone.


----------



## aih

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself--and you are the easiest person to fool.

Richard Feynman


----------



## bykfixer

aih said:


> The first principle is that you must not fool yourself--and you are the easiest person to fool.
> 
> Richard Feynman



This is true.

It's called "center of the universe syndrome" which does not imply we are all selfish. It implys we take things in ways we 'hope' they are in many cases and not how they 'really' are... 
Example would be a worker who tries everyday to please a bad boss in hopes that someday that boss will praise them when in reality that guy is just in it for himself and in no way ever considers that the folks around him are reason for his success due to center of the universe syndrome. 
When the worker recognizes this fact and begins to do his best to please himself instead he will begin to have a confidence to correct his own errors and go about duties despite the bad boss's intimidation tactics... and may find himself boss of the bad boss someday, or have the inner strength to say "guys, I've been hired by another company"


----------



## idleprocess

bykfixer said:


> This is true.
> 
> It's called "center of the universe syndrome" which does not imply we are all selfish. It implys we take things in ways we 'hope' they are in many cases and not how they 'really' are...
> Example would be a worker who tries everyday to please a bad boss in hopes that someday that boss will praise them when in reality that guy is just in it for himself and in no way ever considers that the folks around him are reason for his success due to center of the universe syndrome.
> When the worker recognizes this fact and begins to do his best to please himself instead he will begin to have a confidence to correct his own errors and go about duties despite the bad boss's intimidation tactics... and may find himself boss of the bad boss someday, or have the inner strength to say "guys, I've been hired by another company"



There was a brilliant _Dilbert_ comic going on 20 years ago to this effect. The team is in a meeting and the pointy-haired boss suggests something intensely stupid. Someone tells him it's a bad idea. The boss rebuts with "That's not possible - bad ideas come from other people".


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

^ Reminds me of a story. 

Years back I was at a wedding when the groom, that worked for Boeing, started telling a story about fellow employees coming to him worried about being laid off during the current personnel cut-backs. He relayed how worried they were about losing their homes if they lost their job. I was thinking, wow how terrible for these people.... when the guy says, laughing and with a big smile on his face, "I knew a lot of these people would be in my office over the next few days and I'd be giving them notice. It was just like a Dilbert comic." When none of us laughed along with him he repeated himself, "It was just like a Dilbert comic." Since "richard" owned the house where his wedding was being held and it was his wedding day, I just turned and walked away without replying. 

Words to live by, don't be a richard. :sigh:

~ Cg


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Words to live by, don't be a richard. :sigh:
> 
> ~ Cg



Oh man. I can only hope that karma catches up to him someday and he learns how cruel that was.


----------



## bykfixer

I wonder if richard _still_ owns the house or whether his x-wife and the pool cleaner share it...



The other day my boss said "asking my opinion is like playing with a double edge sword... don't complain when it causes you pain." 

He also said "the closer I get to retirement the shorter my bucket list gets but the longer my f-it list gets."


----------



## bykfixer

Faith is impossible without patience.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

The number of landings should equal the number of takeoffs.


----------



## etc

scout24 said:


> "Everyone must choose one of two pains- the pain of discipline, or the pain of regret" - Jim Rohn



Interesting point


----------



## etc

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> If you're unhappy, ........ it's because you're comparing your circumstances with those of the wrong people.
> - Chance The Gardiner





Interesting


----------



## etc

5S8Zh5 said:


> _If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans._



and:

Life is what happens when you have other plans


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. 
Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks


----------



## bykfixer

I thought my crew drank a quart of stupid last night. Turns out they drank the whole gallon.

- Me after watching my crew do the same thing wrong 3 times. Same way all 3 times.... after I had showed them how to do it correctly the day before.


----------



## Johnnyh

bykfixer said:


> I thought my crew drank a quart of stupid last night. Turns out they drank the whole gallon.
> 
> - Me after watching my crew do the same thing wrong 3 times. Same way all 3 times.... after I had showed them how to do it correctly the day before.



“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” So Byk...they’re not stupid...just deranged. [emoji57]


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

When a guy makes a mistake you know he's human. If he does it a second time you know he's careless. However, when he repeats the behavior a third time you can bet money he's stupid or just doesn't care. 

~ Chance


----------



## Monocrom

Johnnyh said:


> “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” So Byk...they’re not stupid...just deranged. [emoji57]



Nope! That actually is the definition of Stupidity. Folks often get it confused with Insanity. Even a deranged lunatic can learn and alter his horrifically brutal methods to be more effective.


----------



## RBR

.....


----------



## Monocrom

RBR said:


> Should lays in the boneyard, right between would and could...
> 
> Cheers
> 
> RBR



One row over, you'll find Common Sense and Basic Human Decency buried side-by-side in shallow graves.


----------



## LeanBurn

Don't eat yellow snow.


----------



## night.hoodie

Dwayne Johnson said:


> If you can't fix it with duct tape, you're not using enough duct tape.


----------



## Monocrom

There's no such thing as a bad day of fishing.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions.

-_Grace Hopper, computer science pioneer_


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Monocrom said:


> There's no such thing as a bad day of fishing.



Some would probably want to de-bait that, and this.-


----------



## bykfixer

I pinch the barbs on my hooks for that reason. 

Fishing with kids taught me that one.

If Billy big bass gets away because of it.... he knows I caught him, I know I caught him.

Plus much less stress on the fish when doing the catch and release thing.

Why do people say "sober as a judge"? I've smelled liquor on plenty of judges.....


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Give an inch and they want to be a ruler.


----------



## Monocrom

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Some would probably want to de-bait that, and this.-



How did I miss this?? Honestly, I'd rather take a fish hook to the nose than deal with the idiots who come to the front desk on a daily basis and can't follow simple instructions. "Glass elevators, 2nd floor, quick right, straight down." Last week, one moron couldn't get it right after the 3rd time. I told him he could go find it on his own. Told him I was fed up with idiots like him who can't listen. And since he showed up without a tie, which all the guys are told specifically to wear to orientation; when he did find the right suite, the Corrections officer in charge threw him out of the building! 

Yeah, did I mention these morons are applying for corrections careers? I swear they have a bigger turn-over rate than the fast food industry considering how many applicants I assist in a day. I'd say about 1 in 30 of them has a working brain. 

Even worse.... Sometimes I encounter a guy who has forgotten to wear a tie because he thought it was no big deal. If the guy isn't overtly obnoxious, I usually help him out. "Look, they'll either send you home right away when you get up there and then they'll rip up your application. Or, they'll start orientation, let you sit there with everyone else, and immediately have you stand up, make an example of you to everyone else, then kick you out and rip up your application. Or, they'll let you sit in, act like nothing is wrong, and when orientation is over; they'll rip up your application after you leave. Your best bet is telephone the corrections representative you spoke with previously, say you had a family emergency, and just plead to have them re-schedule you. They will! Then show up with a tie."

Again, last week. Guy close to my age. Not a young cat. Forgot his tie. I let him know the deal. He very politely asks me where the suite is. I ask him if he's planning to go up there anyway despite what I just told him. He very genuinely politely tells me "Yes." I tell him, he goes up. Very polite, very stupid. Why do I bother helping these random strangers who can't follow basic instructions? Co-worker of mine asked me the same thing. He's right. I think i'm going to stop doing that.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

I totally understand your angst, MC. Still, you could've given me props for the de-bait line.   

~ CG


----------



## bykfixer

^^ "He who would pun would pick a pocket"

- Jude Laww in Master & Commander


Awe man, page changed ruined it... that was a pun to the pun in post 1000.....


----------



## Monocrom

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> I totally understand your angst, MC. Still, you could've given me props for the de-bait line.
> 
> ~ CG



Honestly, you're right. That was an excellent line. That's one for you there, C.G. :buddies:


----------



## Monocrom

bykfixer said:


> ^^ "He who would pun would pick a pocket"
> 
> - Jude Laww in Master & Commander
> 
> 
> Awe man, page changed ruined it... that was a pun to the pun in post 1000.....



Not on my computer! Still on the same page. :twothumbs


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Monocrom said:


> Not on my computer! Still on the same page. :twothumbs



On mine too. Mr. Fixer's page issue is probably due to him using an incandescent monitor this month. 

~ CG


----------



## scout24

Monocrom said:


> How did I miss this?? Honestly, I'd rather take a fish hook to the nose than deal with the idiots who come to the front desk on a daily basis and can't follow simple instructions. "Glass elevators, 2nd floor, quick right, straight down." Last week, one moron couldn't get it right after the 3rd time. I told him he could go find it on his own. Told him I was fed up with idiots like him who can't listen. And since he showed up without a tie, which all the guys are told specifically to wear to orientation; when he did find the right suite, the Corrections officer in charge threw him out of the building!
> 
> Yeah, did I mention these morons are applying for corrections careers? I swear they have a bigger turn-over rate than the fast food industry considering how many applicants I assist in a day. I'd say about 1 in 30 of them has a working brain.
> 
> Even worse.... Sometimes I encounter a guy who has forgotten to wear a tie because he thought it was no big deal. If the guy isn't overtly obnoxious, I usually help him out. "Look, they'll either send you home right away when you get up there and then they'll rip up your application. Or, they'll start orientation, let you sit there with everyone else, and immediately have you stand up, make an example of you to everyone else, then kick you out and rip up your application. Or, they'll let you sit in, act like nothing is wrong, and when orientation is over; they'll rip up your application after you leave. Your best bet is telephone the corrections representative you spoke with previously, say you had a family emergency, and just plead to have them re-schedule you. They will! Then show up with a tie."
> 
> Again, last week. Guy close to my age. Not a young cat. Forgot his tie. I let him know the deal. He very politely asks me where the suite is. I ask him if he's planning to go up there anyway despite what I just told him. He very genuinely politely tells me "Yes." I tell him, he goes up. Very polite, very stupid. Why do I bother helping these random strangers who can't follow basic instructions? Co-worker of mine asked me the same thing. He's right. I think i'm going to stop doing that.



I would have to consider carrying a tie or two with me for those candidates who seemed like they were genuinely decent people, to be loaned out at your discretion...


----------



## bykfixer

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> On mine too. Mr. Fixer's page issue is probably due to him using an incandescent monitor this month.
> 
> ~ CG



Yeah, thatz it. My ice age era tube monitor screen is slooooooow. 

I have the settings to change pages every X number of posts. Must be different than other folks. 


Words to live by:
80% of the reason teens due dumb stuff is because they're forbidden from doing it. 

Think back to when you were young, am I right? The other 20% is peer pressure.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

bykfixer said:


> Yeah, thatz it. My ice age era tube monitor screen is slooooooow.
> 
> I have the settings to change pages every X number of posts. Must be different than other folks.
> 
> 
> Words to live by:
> *80% of the reason teens due dumb stuff is because they're forbidden from doing it.
> *
> Think back to when you were young, am I right? The other 20% is peer pressure.



Our sons are 18 and 21 years old. Neither one has drank any alcohol except for communion. As most of you know, I enjoy a beer pretty much every night. Since both boys were about eight or nine years old, I've told them when they asked what I was drinking, "It's beer. You can have a sip if you want, but you probably won't like it." 

Take away the mystique and it's no longer forbidden fruit. I've done the same thing with the firearms. "You can handle them anytime you want, you only have to ask me first. They've never touched them or even asked.

~ Chance 

Addendum; *My* flashlights are another matter. I purchase three quality lights, one for each member of the family. *Mine *are off-limits. :laughing:


----------



## bykfixer

I let my oldest have a sip of my beer at 4.... hoping he'd hate it.
He did. 

I let my boys watch Beavis & Butthead when all the parents were forbidding their kids. They watched it a couple of times. 

Sounds like you and I were the lucky ones CG. Now my wife's boys.... thatz a different matter. 

They're ok now, but it was a mess there at one point.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

bykfixer said:


> Yeah, thatz it. My ice age era tube monitor screen is slooooooow.
> 
> I have the settings to change pages every X number of posts. Must be different than other folks.
> 
> 
> Words to live by:
> 80% of the reason teens due dumb stuff is because they're forbidden from doing it.
> 
> Think back to when you were young, am I right? The other 20% is peer pressure.



That was an Incan Challenge Week joke. I didn't know you had an ice age tube monitor. 

~ CG


----------



## bykfixer

I use a 2012 gamer laptop for a monitor. And the tune Ice Age by Joy Division was playing when I wrote that.


----------



## Monocrom

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> On mine too. Mr. Fixer's page issue is probably due to him using an incandescent monitor this month.
> 
> ~ CG



LOL ! Good one.


----------



## Monocrom

scout24 said:


> I would have to consider carrying a tie or two with me for those candidates who seemed like they were genuinely decent people, to be loaned out at your discretion...



I would honestly consider it, but my shift ends at 7am. An hour before orientation begins. I'd never get the ties back since orientation lasts a few hours.


----------



## LGT

Plan for the future, but live for the now. 
Think before you speak.
Be nice to all others. You never know what that person you’re talking to is going through. Everybody has problems.


----------



## bykfixer

I used to work for one of those people who use the wrong words at times. He'd say "recto-active" in place of radioactive or retro-active etc.

He'd say "never talk bad about another person until you've walked in their shoes far enough to get bloaters" (meaning blisters).


----------



## StarHalo

bykfixer said:


> He'd say "recto-active"



Just need to ease up on the fiber..


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes.... That way he won't be able to chase you because he won't have any shoes and you'll be a mile away. 

~ CG


----------



## HighlanderNorth

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why we call it _the present". _ Bill Keane

2. "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"(Friedrich Nietzsche), "......Until it kills you next week"(me).


----------



## 59ride

"Lost time is never found"
"Skiing is for little FAT kids"


----------



## Monocrom

From Benny Hill:

"Don't put off til tomorrow what you can do today.... Because if you do it today and you like it, you can do it again tomorrow!"


----------



## LetThereBeLight!

"Well-behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


----------



## PhotonWrangler

If you wanna make an omelet, you've gotta break some eggs.


----------



## Keitho

PhotonWrangler said:


> If you wanna make an omelet, you've gotta break some eggs.


A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
- Samuel Butler


----------



## Monocrom

PhotonWrangler said:


> If you wanna make an omelet, you've gotta break some eggs.



LOL ! You sure about that? 

http://www.eggbeaters.com/products/egg-beaters-original


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Monocrom said:


> LOL ! You sure about that?
> 
> http://www.eggbeaters.com/products/egg-beaters-original



Ha! You got me there, Monocrom.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Somebody broke em. 

~ CG


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Somebody broke em.
> 
> ~ CG



Lol, another good point.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

PhotonWrangler said:


> Lol, another good point.



Probably broken by a machine. However, somebody had to turn it on. 



~ CG


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Wow. That cracks me up, and that's no yolk.

Don't egg me on...


----------



## Keitho

Oh no, this thread will turn into an hen-cyclopedia of egg-related crack-up yokes before Fry-day. Before there is a reply about my fowl language, to get back on topic...

“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” 
― *Carl Sagan, *The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark


----------



## peter yetman

Eggcellent post, I shell say nothing more.
P


----------



## Monocrom

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Somebody broke em.
> 
> ~ CG



YOU didn't. But yet you can make an omelet out of them.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Omlet these puns die...

We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread, already in progress.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Monocrom said:


> YOU didn't. But yet you can make an omelet out of them.



Yep, from a carton. It seems my cholesterol is a bit too high. 

~ Chance


----------



## Crazyeddiethefirst

I can’t resist, I’m so sorry: my wife fed me eggs for breakfast that were rotten, now I am full of bad yolks....


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Keitho said:


> “For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”
> ― *Carl Sagan, *The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark



Alluding to people of faith as being delusional is frowned upon here. 

~ Chance


----------



## FRITZHID

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Alluding to people of faith as being delusional is frowned upon here.
> 
> ~ Chance


The truth is often frowned upon.


----------



## peter yetman

Wow, someone need to back off. Ths is a friendly place, let's not destroy this long running thread (that I've just discovered) with a fight, please.
P


----------



## Greta

Everyone needs to take it down a notch. We're not going to get into discussions about faith... or lack there of. Chance is right... "Alluding to people of faith as being delusional is frowned upon here."

*FRITZHID*... your comment was completely inappropriate and out of line. Stop. Now.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Keitho and I have exchanged PM. He and I are good. :grouphug: If I was a smart man, I would have sent him a PM instead of posting. I apologize for the drama. 

~ Chance


----------



## bykfixer

Dang, Pete shows up and the thread goes all scrambled...



These days politicians want the Supreme Court to be loaded with folks wearing red jerseys or blue jerseys.

The Founding Fathers meant for them to be the *Umpires*.

-Tony McCreade morning radio show host in Norfolk Va.


----------



## peter yetman

That's me, Chaos Theory in action.
P


----------



## Spikefos

Nice topic) As I’m a writer and content marketer I can talk about it forever lol
It suits my current assignments.
“A little talent is a good thing to have if you want to be an essay writer. But the only real requirement is the ability to remember every scar.” - Stephen King
“Creativity without discipline will struggle, creativity with discipline will succeed.” - Amit Kalantri


----------



## Monocrom

A bird in the hand is worth..... lunch.


----------



## bykfixer

^^ Tastes like chicken?


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know.... 

~ Chance


----------



## Monocrom

bykfixer said:


> ^^ Tastes like chicken?



Depends on the bird.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

"Id rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it." 

- Jimmy DiResta


----------



## StarHalo

To grow older is not to understand more but to realize that there is more to understand. - Karl Ove Knausgaard


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know. 

- Me


----------



## PhotonWrangler

When designing a test for a device or system, allow for the possibility of failure and then learn from it.

Years ago I was setting up a test for a system along with a co-worker. We put it together using the best documentation and advice that was available to us at the time. It was about 50/50 whether it would work or not. I don't even recall whether this was hardware, software or both; I just remember that the only way to find out for sure if it was ready was to try it out.

When we applied power, it failed. Not catastrophically, but still disappointing. 

My co-worker was upset that we tested something and it failed. I explained that this is the whole meaning of a test - you try something out to see if it will work. The whole reason that it's called a test is because of that "if." You're solving for an unknown. So you learn from the results and move forward with corrections.

Life is an iterative process.


----------



## Monocrom

"Tomorrow is not promised to anyone."

No clue who said it. but wise words indeed.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

You can have it cheap, fast or high quality. Pick any two.


----------



## bykfixer

Mom, you didn't give up your youth...
You traded it for wisdom.

- Richard Castle (episode 3 season 2 of "Castle")


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Don't jump out of the octagon and assault people. 

~ CG


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.

_--George Carlin_


----------



## bykfixer




----------



## PhotonWrangler

Life gets mighty precious when there's less of it to waste.
_
--Bonnie Raitt_


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

PhotonWrangler said:


> Life gets mighty precious when there's less of it to waste.
> _
> --Bonnie Raitt_



That's like eating yogurt. The first spoonfuls are all big-n-full. Then towards the bottom, you scrape out as much as you can. 

~ Chance


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> That's like eating yogurt. The first spoonfuls are all big-n-full. Then towards the bottom, you scrape out as much as you can.
> 
> ~ Chance



Very true.

...but wait, I thought that life was like a box of chocolates, not a cup of yogurt.


----------



## Gathering Wisdom

Its not what your called in life that matters, its what you answer to.

JBA


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

PhotonWrangler said:


> Very true.
> 
> ...but wait, I thought that life was like a box of chocolates, not a cup of yogurt.



....... of course you know what you're gunna get next, another chocolate!  

~ CG


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Music lubricates life.
_
--Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean) today_


----------



## StarHalo

PhotonWrangler said:


> Music lubricates life.
> _
> --Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean) today_



As does Mr bean's car collection..


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

*The Cold Within 

*
Six humans trapped by happenstance
In bleak and bitter cold.
Each one possessed a stick of wood
Or so the story’s told.
Their dying fire in need of logs
The first man held his back
For of the faces round the fire
He noticed one was black.
The next man looking ‘cross the way
Saw one not of his church
And couldn’t bring himself to give
The fire his stick of birch.
The third one sat in tattered clothes.
He gave his coat a hitch.
Why should his log be put to use
To warm the idle rich?
The rich man just sat back and thought
Of the wealth he had in store
And how to keep what he had earned
From the lazy shiftless poor.
The black man’s face bespoke revenge
As the fire passed from his sight.
For all he saw in his stick of wood
Was a chance to spite the white.
The last man of this forlorn group
Did nought except for gain.
Giving only to those who gave
Was how he played the game.
Their logs held tight in death’s still hands
Was proof of human sin.
They didn’t die from the cold without
They died from the cold within.


----------



## bykfixer

There was a king with a broken steamboat. Try as he may he could not find anyone to fix it.

Word arrived the person who built the boat was in a neighboring kingdom. He dispatched someone to retrieve the guy.

The guy arrives and pulls out a screwdriver, turns a screw then the boat began to work.

He turns to the king and says "that'll be $300 please." The king replied "$300?!?! To turn a screw?" The boat maker smiled and said "well turning the screw was $1, knowing which one to turn is $299".


----------



## bykfixer

Tip to thwart a thanksgiving day argument:

You family is divided between roasted turkey and fried turkey.

Feed 'em wild turkey until they are too drunk to care.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

The 101 of course.  Members vadimax and RBR pointed me in its direction. 

Happy Thanksgiving! 

~ Chance






It tastes like a warm summer's day. 
- Raylan Gibbons


----------



## bykfixer

I told my family this year "heater is broke, we're using the oven for heat, so you're getting oven roasted. Want fried go to Arbys".


----------



## bykfixer

If it takes 9 scientists and an engineering staff to fly a space craft in the 24th century where there is zero traffic and objects to crash into are millions of miles away...

Aint no way I'm going to rely on anything devised by Chrysler, Ford or GM that is supposed to drive me safely down a crowded interstate at 8:00 in the morning.

Honda, Hyundai, Kia, Mazda, Tesla and Toyota neither....

- Me just now


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

bykfixer said:


> ...
> 
> Aint no way I'm going to rely on anything ... that is supposed to drive me safely down a crowded interstate at 8:00 in the morning.
> 
> - Me just now



Reminds me of a song - I'd like to sing it for you now. 

~ CG


----------



## seniorcare

My mum taught me to never ask for anything back if you gave it as a gift.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

It seems that the better something is for you, the worse it tastes.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

PhotonWrangler said:


> It seems that the better something is for you, the worse it tastes.



Trying to lose weight - If it tastes good, spit it out. 

~ Cg


----------



## bykfixer

- Never stand on the top of a step ladder.

-Ok, so if you decide to stand on the top of said step ladder be sure it's on level ground.
- If you choose to stand on top of a step ladder on eneven ground make sure you have something strong to hold onto. 

- If you choose to stand on top of said step ladder on uneven ground and object you grabbed was fragile never try to run down said step ladder as it wobbles out from under you.

- If you choose to run down wobbling step ladder that is wobbling unprecariously because you stood on top with it on uneven ground and the object you thought would hold you broke away, make sure you are not alone. Have somebody there to call for an ambulance while they try to wake your unconcious [email protected]$$ up. Preferably somebody with a movie camera to remind you later "that was not the best idea you ever had". 

- Me trying to hang a bird feeder one day.

Wait, this belongs in the "lessons learned the hard way" thread.... 

The Mrs. says "want some help before I leave?" I say "nah I got it, but thanks". She gets in the car and goes wherever. 
3 minutes later "SPLAT!!"

But I had hung that dawg gone bird feeder.


----------



## JimIslander

Problems are usually complicated. Solutions are usually simple.


----------



## Bicycleflyer

Advice given to me by several wise old captains over the years..

1. Keep the dirty side down.

2. If something does not look right, it probably isn’t.

3. Nothing more useless than runway behind you, fuel still in the ground, and sky above you.

Then if you want to be a hero.... “ Hey Captain, I’ll take the fat one”


----------



## wosser

The three basic tenets of engineering:



Always use the right tool for the job.
A hammer is always the right tool.
Any tool can be used as a hammer.


----------



## Monocrom

bykfixer said:


> - Never stand on the top of a step ladder.
> 
> -Ok, so if you decide to stand on the top of said step ladder be sure it's on level ground.
> - If you choose to stand on top of a step ladder on eneven ground make sure you have something strong to hold onto.
> 
> - If you choose to stand on top of said step ladder on uneven ground and object you grabbed was fragile never try to run down said step ladder as it wobbles out from under you.
> 
> - If you choose to run down wobbling step ladder that is wobbling unprecariously because you stood on top with it on uneven ground and the object you thought would hold you broke away, make sure you are not alone. Have somebody there to call for an ambulance while they try to wake your unconcious [email protected]$$ up. Preferably somebody with a movie camera to remind you later "that was not the best idea you ever had".
> 
> - Me trying to hang a bird feeder one day.
> 
> Wait, this belongs in the "lessons learned the hard way" thread....
> 
> The Mrs. says "want some help before I leave?" I say "nah I got it, but thanks". She gets in the car and goes wherever.
> 3 minutes later "SPLAT!!"
> 
> But I had hung that dawg gone bird feeder.



Okay, that was just hilarious!


----------



## PhotonWrangler

No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.


----------



## peter yetman

My Doctor always says,
"No act of kindness goes unpunished".

I prefer your version.
P


----------



## bykfixer

Monocrom said:


> Okay, that was just hilarious!



That was the day God told me to stop skateboarding.

See, in my late 30's I had retired from BMX stunts and decided propelling down steep hills on a skateboard was safer...uh huh, yeah right. By 47 I had some pretty good equipment for going up to 75mph. Now not one to go anywhere near that fast I'd scrub off speed by swirving into driveways like cutting back on a giant wave. So I never went real fast. That Christmas I took my wife's middle son with me. While riding on unfamiliar pavement I swirved into a big wide concrete driveway. The edge of the driveway had a big lip that was smoothed out with a sacrete type home made repair. I failed to notice it was crumbling until it was too late. SPLATT!!! 

So a few months later after being healed up I was going to go riding for the first time after I hung that bird feeder. When I re-gained consciousness and had found my glasses after falling off the ladder I looked up at the sky and said "nuff said Lord"... and I never went downhill skateboarding again. 

My sister told my wife words to live by when she heard that story.

Tell my brother next time he goes to hang a bird feeder to wear a crash helmet.

Now when I go to hang bird feeders from trees I cast a fishing line vertically and use that to hoist the feeder up into the tree. Tie a big loop on the end of the cord it will hang from and cinch it to the branch that way.


----------



## Monocrom

PhotonWrangler said:


> No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.



I sometimes wonder if that's true.


----------



## Monocrom

bykfixer said:


> That was the day God told me to stop skateboarding.
> 
> See, in my late 30's I had retired from BMX stunts and decided propelling down steep hills on a skateboard was safer...uh huh, yeah right. By 47 I had some pretty good equipment for going up to 75mph. Now not one to go anywhere near that fast I'd scrub off speed by swirving into driveways like cutting back on a giant wave. So I never went real fast. That Christmas I took my wife's middle son with me. While riding on unfamiliar pavement I swirved into a big wide concrete driveway. The edge of the driveway had a big lip that was smoothed out with a sacrete type home made repair. I failed to notice it was crumbling until it was too late. SPLATT!!!
> 
> So a few months later after being healed up I was going to go riding for the first time after I hung that bird feeder. When I re-gained consciousness and had found my glasses after falling off the ladder I looked up at the sky and said "nuff said Lord"... and I never went downhill skateboarding again.
> 
> My sister told my wife words to live by when she heard that story.
> 
> Tell my brother next time he goes to hang a bird feeder to wear a crash helmet.
> 
> Now when I go to hang bird feeders from trees I cast a fishing line vertically and use that to hoist the feeder up into the tree. Tie a big loop on the end of the cord it will hang from and cinch it to the branch that way.



Yeah..... Heck of a thing when Father Time catches up with us.

I'd say get the middle son to hang up all future bird-feeders from now on. You can hold the ladder steady for him.


----------



## peter yetman

Monocrom said:


> I sometimes wonder if that's true.


The last time it was said was at Christmas.
I'm part of a Theatre Group and I agreed to do the sound and lights for the local Primary School.
Someone had to cover me for one of the performances as I was double booked. He fell off the ladder to the Lighting Loft and is now sueing us. Sigh.
P


----------



## PhotonWrangler

peter yetman said:


> ...He fell off the ladder to the Lighting Loft and is now sueing us. Sigh.
> P



Was there something wrong with the ladder or was it an error in judgement on his part?


----------



## rusto

Hot objects look the same as cool objects. (Especially if you just heated it up with a torch, fumbled around looking for a tool, then forgot you heated it up in the first place.)


----------



## peter yetman

PhotonWrangler said:


> Was there something wrong with the ladder or was it an error in judgement on his part?


User error, I'm afraid.
P


----------



## bykfixer

Make him a batch of brew and maybe he'll back off the lawsuit. 


- Never leave cigarette butts in ash trays your cigarette butt eating dog can reach. 
Me after discovering a turd of cigarette butts.


----------



## peter yetman

bykfixer said:


> Make him a batch of brew and maybe he'll back off the lawsuit.


With my luck he'll be teatotal.
P


----------



## peter yetman

Only the closed mind is certain.

I may have to start using that around here....
P


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

peter yetman said:


> Only the closed mind is certain.
> 
> I may have to start using that around here....
> P



Somethings are certain and worthy of a closed mind.  

~ cG


----------



## bykfixer

"Once your hair gets gray you get to act like you're old."

Spouse is nagging: "what? I can't hear you"
Boss gives stupid order: "oops I forgot boss"
Cool stuff like that....


----------



## bykfixer

Heard in an episode of Yellowstone:
(Paraphrasing)

Karl; I never want to meet the first man to ride a bull.

John; Heck I wouldn't mind meeting the first man, it's the second one I don't want to meet.


----------



## bykfixer

"Don't call the alligator big mouth until you're across the river"
From the new Magnificent Seven movie.

Or...
Make sure the candle is lit before you blow out the match.
Same movie


----------



## wacbzz

_What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence.
_- Christopher Hitchens


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Consider all the evidence before making a determination.


----------



## StarHalo

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Consider all the evidence before making a determination.



Fair and balanced.


----------



## wacbzz

Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?


----------



## scout24

If you've nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Better to be quiet and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.


----------



## bykfixer

"I'd rather regret the things I've done than the things I didn't do"
Tom Selleck as Jesse Stone in Innocence Lost


----------



## wacbzz

Sometimes you gotta play the fool to fool the fool who thinks they’re fooling you.


----------



## Modernflame

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Rock N' Roll will heal me. 







For better or worse, that's original, folks.


----------



## bykfixer

You can put the bad side of a Christmas tree against the wall but what can you do with the bad side of people?
- Morgan Freeman in Just Gettin' Started.


----------



## StarHalo

“The West Indian is not exactly hostile to change, but he is not much inclined to believe in it. This comes from a piece of wisdom that his climate of eternal summer teaches him. It is that, under all the parade of human effort and noise, today is like yesterday, and tomorrow will be like today; that existence is a wheel of recurring patterns from which no one escapes; that all anybody does in this life is live for a while and then die for good, without finding out much; and that therefore the idea is to take things easy and enjoy the passing time under the sun..." - Herman Wouk


----------



## peter yetman

That's pretty amazing. Sometimes I do wonder what it's all about.
P


----------



## StarHalo

It's about 8% ABV, cheers to you sir..


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

That which has been _is what will be,__
That which is done is what will be done,
And there is nothing new under the sun._​


----------



## KITROBASKIN

The human species is engaged in such a multi-variable experiment with seemingly ever increasing novelty and complexity. Who knows what will become of it?


----------



## bykfixer

Can't fix stupid.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Physics: The stuff that happens to you while you were staring at your phone.


----------



## orbital

+

_extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence_  (ECREE)


*Carl Sagan*


----------



## Nichia!

"God did not create a beast worse than man, and man did not create a beast worse than war"


----------



## Nichia!

A man's measure is his will.


----------



## Nichia!

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Making a good friend is hard. Keeping one for the duration is almost impossible. 

- Yours truly


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

orbital said:


> +
> 
> _extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence_  (ECREE)
> 
> 
> *Carl Sagan*



66 books should suffice.


----------



## StarHalo

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> 66 books should suffice.



Sagan wrote only 27 books


----------



## InvisibleFrodo

“Only”


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

StarHalo said:


> Sagan wrote only 27 books



 Exactly!


----------



## StarHalo

Seances occur only in darkened rooms, where the ghostly visitors can be seen dimly at best. If we turn up the lights a little, so we have a chance to see what’s going on, the spirits vanish. They’re shy, we’re told, and some of us believe it. In twentieth-century parapsychology laboratories, there is the ‘observer effect’: those described as gifted psychics find that their powers diminish markedly whenever sceptics arrive... What they need is darkness and gullibility. - Carl Sagan


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

“Do not turn to mediums or necromancers; do not seek them out, and so make yourselves unclean by them: I am the Lord your God.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

It doesn't matter if it's zip ties or duct tape. Fixed is fixed.

_-Red Green_


----------



## Monocrom

Nichia! said:


> A man's measure is his will.



I'd say it's his accomplishments in Life. Or, lack thereof.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

You don't buy coffee, you rent it.


----------



## Monocrom

PhotonWrangler said:


> You don't buy coffee, you rent it.



Applies to beer too.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Monocrom said:


> Applies to beer too.



Lol, exactly.


----------



## peter yetman

Now I get it.
P


----------



## StarHalo

From a 2011 Slate article on how the iPod has changed music and listening: 

"The concern that recorded music promotes solipsism and isolation isn’t new. Before the invention of the record and the gramophone (1887), the only form of listening people knew was social; the closest thing to a private musical experience was playing an instrument for yourself, or silently looking over a score. More often, if you had the means, you got to sit in the panopticon of the concert hall, seeing and being seen to the accompaniment of Verdi... With mechanical reproduction came the hitherto unimaginable phenomenon of listening to multi-instrumental music by _yourself_. How, a contributor to _Gramophone_ magazine asked in 1923, would you react if you stumbled upon somebody in the midst of this private rapture? It would be 'as if you had discovered your friend sniffing cocaine, emptying a bottle of whisky, or plaiting straws in his hair. People, we think, should not do things ‘to themselves,’ however much they may enjoy doing them in company.'"


----------



## Burgess

Thank you, Star Halo,
for posting that Very interesting article !


Food for Thought, indeed !


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Complexity and stability are inversely proportional.


----------



## bykfixer

Taking a colonoscopy test aint so bad. It's the studying for it that sucks. 

My boss


----------



## bykfixer

Nichia! said:


> "God did not create a beast worse than man, and man did not create a beast worse than war"



Cigarettes aint far behind.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

bykfixer said:


> Cigarettes aint far behind.



I asked my mom why she smoked when she was pregnant and around me afterwords. 

Mom -"Back then we didn't know it was harmful and even doctors didn't know." 

Me - "Really?! You needed a doctor to tell you that setting something on fire and inhaling the smoke was dangerous?!"


----------



## Keitho

wosser said:


> The three basic tenets of engineering:
> 
> 
> 
> Always use the right tool for the job.
> A hammer is always the right tool.
> Any tool can be used as a hammer.



Now _that_ is why I scroll through this thread every so often, nice one wosser!

Of course, "[FONT=helvetica neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer." Alan Lewis[/FONT]

[FONT=helvetica neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]And "if your only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." (not sure who gets the credit for that one, probably my surgeon)[/FONT]

[FONT=helvetica neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]There's got to be a joke about Thor that follows, but I'm not smart enough to think of it...[/FONT]


----------



## orbital

+


_.....thanks Greta_


----------



## bykfixer

If a fish could keep its mouth shut it would stay out of trouble.


----------



## KITROBASKIN

"I asked my mom why she smoked when she was pregnant and around me afterwords."
"Back then we didn't know it was harmful and even doctors didn't know." 

Not that long ago a doctor would be on an advertisement promoting cigarettes.


----------



## bykfixer

Sometimes mistakes are better than getting it correct. 
It leads to more important correct things later. 

Amor. The uninvited guest at destinies party. 

- Both heard on "the Mayans"


----------



## StarHalo

"A child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth." - African proverb


----------



## Lumen83

“Faith is the surrender of the mind, it's the surrender of reason, it's the surrender of the only thing that makes us different from other animals. It's our need to believe and to surrender our skepticism and our reason, our yearning to discard that and put all our trust or faith in someone or something, that is the sinister thing to me. ... Out of all the virtues, all the supposed virtues, faith must be the most overrated” 
― Christopher Hitchens


----------



## KITROBASKIN

Faith is freedom. Faith is the gift offered to us in order to become more than just ourselves.


----------



## bykfixer

Hope without faith is a waste of time. 

Me


----------



## Monocrom

*"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." ~ *
Martin Luther King Jr.


----------



## bykfixer

Make two resolutions at New Years. 
- Always be right.
- Always be quick to admit when you aren't. 

Frank Reagan


----------



## bykfixer

Three _can _keep a secret……
If two are dead. 
-Benjamin Franklin


----------



## PhotonWrangler

There are no mistakes, only lessons. You will keep experiencing these lessons until you get it right.

Corollary - 

If it's true that you learn by your mistakes, I should be the smartest person in the world by now!


----------



## 5S8Zh5

Never get out of the boat.
Never get out of the boat.

[ Apocalypse Now (1979) ]


----------



## PhotonWrangler

You're gonna need a bigger boat 

(Jaws 1975)


----------



## 5S8Zh5

I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it. Stop thinking. Let things happen and be the ball.


----------



## Lumen83

5S8Zh5 said:


> I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen.



Ya. Its called Gravity.


----------



## Charlie Hustle

Lumen83 said:


> Ya. Its called Gravity.



Science, and thinking is a lost art in the U.S.A. The only thing that matters is what you believe regardless the evidence.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

The title of this thread is - Words to Live By.


----------



## flatline

Do it while you're thinking about it.


----------



## datiLED

flatline said:


> Do it while you're thinking about it.


+1


----------



## Monocrom

flatline said:


> Do it while you're thinking about it.




No offense intended.... _Think about it before you do it. _


----------



## JaguarDave-in-Oz

"You'll be sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry........"

Mum.


----------



## flatline

Monocrom said:


> No offense intended.... _Think about it before you do it. _



Also good. The spirit of the original quote is actually about not procrastinating. It's often easier to get things done now than it is to remember to do them later

The corollary is that you won't (or at least, shouldn't) do something while you're not thinking about it....

--flatline


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

A friend of mine uses the phrase - "Be mindful." :thumbsup: 

"YOU BETTER THINK!" - Aretha Franklin


----------



## orbital

+

Half the coin to who you are is, 
what you know
&
what you can do yourself.

The other half of the coin is,
how you apply those to other people.

-me


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Nobody has to do it all, but if everybody does a little a whole lot gets done.​- bykfixer


----------



## bykfixer

CG, I wish I could recall who said that before me, because I was just repeating what someone else said. 

But I will take credit for the following: 
Fed-Ex; when it absolutely, positively has to get there sooner or later, perhaps the neighbors address or maybe not at all……
Accept no substitutes.


----------



## 5S8Zh5

Lumen83 said:


> Ya. Its called Gravity.


...right in the lumberyard.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

...so they're just going to drive it around on the truck for awhile? :thinking:

BTW I got that same message once, but the item did actually show up the next day.


----------



## bykfixer

Apparently Fed-Ex needs some new trucks PW. 
A rental van dropped off the box today. Driver said his rig suffered a fatal heart attack yesterday so he was completing his deliveries today……apparently it plagues the local outdated fleet. 

So: 
"When it absolutely positively has to arrived a day late, Hertz rental to the rescue." 
- me


----------



## bykfixer

When you win say nothing. 
When you lose say even less. 

-Harold Browne


----------



## Sadsack

The pursuit of happiness ends when You stop pursuing it.:thinking:


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Never discuss money with people that have more or less than you do.


----------



## flatline

It's always flu season so wash your hands before touching your eyes or sticking your fingers in your nose or mouth.


----------



## peter yetman

And after, as well.
P


----------



## orbital

+

Everyday for several years now, I put about 3cents of bleach in a small bowl of water in my sink for hands

..so for about $10 a year - - - -


----------



## 5S8Zh5

_But you know Bob,_ _that'll only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired._


----------



## bykfixer

The early bird gets the worm……
But the second mouse gets the cheese. 

- written on a note inside a fortune cookie

Another one said
"sometimes a fortune cookie does not contain a fortune".


----------



## wweiss

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Free cheese is only found in a mouse trap.


----------



## Cyclops942

“The early bird gets the worm.”

Yeah, and what happens to the early worm?


----------



## bykfixer

Ancient Spanish proverb: 
More grows in the garden than the gardener knows he's planted.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Discontentedness comes from comparing yourself to the wrong people. :mecry:

Disappointment comes from expectations.


----------



## bykfixer

A youngster I train at work told me he finds what we do as boring. He said he wants to follow his passion. 

Well, by thinking he is bored all the time because our job aint like a tv show he tends to put out as little effort as possible. I pull more from him at times and other times just growl at him. The kids got talent but craves more action and excitement. 

My comment before we parted ways for a week at Christmas was "most successful people follow their talents. Unsuccessful people follow their passions". He laughed slightly and said "name one". I responded "Bill Gates and our boss". 
"Our boss?" he replied. 
I said "yup, he nearly starved to death driving a stock car in the 1960's but had a talent for managing big road projects and after thinking it was boring for the first year became one of the best known ones the east coast".


----------



## wweiss

thedoc007 said:


> "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt."
> 
> -Unknown



Think this was Mark Twain from Puddinhead Wilson’s Calendar...


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

bykfixer said:


> A youngster I train at work told me he finds what we do as boring. He said he wants to follow his passion.
> 
> Well, by thinking he is bored all the time because our job aint like a tv show he tends to put out as little effort as possible. I pull more from him at times and other times just growl at him. The kids got talent but craves more action and excitement.
> 
> My comment before we parted ways for a week at Christmas was "most successful people follow their talents. Unsuccessful people follow their passions". He laughed slightly and said "name one". I responded "Bill Gates and our boss".
> "Our boss?" he replied.
> I said "yup, he nearly starved to death driving a stock car in the 1960's but had a talent for managing big road projects and after thinking it was boring for the first year became one of the best known ones the east coast".



I think very few people make a living from their passion. That's why hobbies were invented.


----------



## bykfixer

My boss's hobby became restoring cars from the era he raced to museum quality. He calls it his 401k collection. 

During a point in my life I turned a job into a hobby and a hobby into a job. 
At one point my job was to inspect roadway rehab and my hobby was to teach the next generation how to. 
My job now is teaching the next generation how to inspect roadway rehab and my hobby is to take the time and do actual inspector stuff anymore.


----------



## idleprocess

No pithy saying behind it, but _avoid *my dog is better than your dog* arguments_ where sweeping, subjective judgments are involved. Replace "dog" with more common comparisons such as "city", "state", "school", "spouse", "sports team", "hobby", etc.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.

- _NeNeil deGrasse Tyson_


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

PhotonWrangler said:


> The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.
> 
> - _NeNeil deGrasse Tyson_



I've always believed that science is a method to test a theory and therefore doesn't contain any truth in and of itself. 

Perhaps Mr. Tyson meant to say - "The good thing about proven science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.


----------



## bykfixer

Truth is subjective at times, but so is science.


----------



## peter yetman

PhotonWrangler said:


> The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.
> 
> - _NeNeil deGrasse Tyson_





Chauncey Gardiner said:


> I've always believed that science is a method to test a theory and therefore doesn't contain any truth in and of itself.
> 
> Perhaps Mr. Tyson meant to say - "The good thing about proven science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.





bykfixer said:


> Truth is subjective at times, but so is science.


All three of those really hit the spot for me.
When I started learning, as I haven't stopped and never will, I studied Physics, Maths, Biology and Electronics. The rituals of the various arts have never left me. Least of all the objective reasoning.
Thanks for reminding me.
P


----------



## bykfixer

The reason for reason is so we can reason………

Me to my kids at various ages when asked "why did you do X?" (insert dumb thing typical teens do here) and their response was "I dunno".


----------



## PhotonWrangler

To understand recursion, you must understand recursion.


----------



## wweiss

Yes, Dr Mandelbrot...


----------



## StarHalo

Ricky Gervais' Golden Globes monologue; an eight-minute scorched-earth carpet bombing of most of reality at the outset of 2020, words to live and die by indeed:


----------



## orbital

+

I genuinely feel sad for the kids who weren't allowed to go to the museum for a grade school class trip.

They were kept home 'cause mommy-dearest got a new tub of Crisco for frosting on cupcakes to be made.
ahh, all the magic hydrogenated oils can do in the kitchen


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

StarHalo said:


> Ricky Gervais' Golden Globes monologue; an eight-minute scorched-earth carpet bombing of most of reality at the outset of 2020, words to live and die by indeed:



That's gold, Ricky. GOLD! :twothumbs


----------



## 5S8Zh5

_Somewhere the zebra was dancing.

_[ The Art of Racing in the Rain (2019) ]


----------



## Tachead

Don't take life too seriously. You will never get out alive.

Elbert Hubbard 

Sent from my SM-N975W using Tapatalk


----------



## Tachead

It's better to have and not need then need and not have.

Various people in history. Maybe Franz Kafka first?



Sent from my SM-N975W using Tapatalk


----------



## Keitho

“Happy is the man who marries the woman he wants; happier is the man who marries the woman he needs.”
― *Matshona Dhliwayo*


----------



## bykfixer

"You don't like me? I wouldn't like me either if I were you".

- Me to my kids at various times when grounding was required.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

"I love you too much to argue with you." = Children stopped dead in their fight for power.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Only those willing to suffer the agony of defeat can truly know the thrill of victory.


----------



## 5S8Zh5

_Any girl can look glamorous, all she has to do is stand still and look stupid._


Hedy Lamarr

Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story (2017), Netflix


----------



## nbp

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Only those willing to suffer the agony of defeat can truly know the thrill of victory.



If I may piggyback off this post, here in WI we live by this little motto:

“Go Pack Go!”

[emoji4]


----------



## orbital

+

Chance, I pictured you slightly taller than that


----------



## KITROBASKIN

This is the woman who helped create (during world war two but was scoffed for years) a system that is the basis of WiFi and other forms of communication


5S8Zh5 said:


> _Any girl can look glamorous, all she has to do is stand still and look stupid._
> 
> 
> Hedy Lamarr
> 
> Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story (2017), Netflix


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

KITROBASKIN said:


> This is the woman who helped create (during world war two but was scoffed for years) a system that is the basis of WiFi and other forms of communication


 
Hedy Lamar - SCHWING! She was babelicious!


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

orbital said:


> +
> 
> Chance, I pictured you slightly taller than that



My nephew has Down syndrome. Pictured is his best friend, who also has Downs and is a huge Hawks fan. Me, not so much a fan of football. :shrug: BTW, I'm 5'9" ............in boots.


----------



## bykfixer

Too much honey makes your stomach sour. 
- The Bible (Proverbs)

It is better to eat crumbs in the corner of an attic than feast in a mansion with a quarrelsome wife (or husband).
- The Bible (Proverbs) and my brother after divorcing a quarrelsome wife who emptied his bank account in the divorce settlement.
My words were "it only costs me $xx a month to be rid of that crazy gal" after my divorce was settled.


----------



## orbital

+

If you drop a knife in the kitchen,

don't try to catch it


----------



## peter yetman

Mrs Yeti is a chef. That's one of her "Never Nevers".
P


----------



## bykfixer

My ma-n-law gave me a set of ceramic cutlery one year for my birthday. I do not know how well they hold an edge and never will if using them is the way I learn. Good grief!! Them things are scarey sharp. 

At Thanksgiving she asked if I wanted to use them to cut turnips. My reply was "if you don't want blood in your turnips then please hand me a metal knife". 

A knife is like a mate. If you find a good one, treat it well and it will treat you well.


----------



## orbital

+

Very few people hold a knife properly (for food preparation) I truly cringe when seeing someone holding a knife in the 'back'
Scary & zero control!

Choke way up on the knife, hold it w/ your thumb & index finger on the blade itself. The rest of your hand follows to grip.
Decent knives have handles that all but show you how to grasp it by its shape.
*
Again, choke way up on it, this will give control.

*also: there are dozens of kitchen knives, use the right tool for the job....
8" chef knife will do the most


----------



## flatline

It's always flu season, so don't touch your eyes, pick your nose, or stick your fingers in your mouth without washing them first. And never use someone else's pen.

--flatline


----------



## LTBL777

I will add don’t take the free slice of cheese at the deli. You just pushed the carriage into the store putting your hands where everyone else puts their hands.


----------



## scout24

I was chatting with a fellow member today, and I sent this regarding part of a discussion we were having. He opined it may belong here. I paraphrase, I don't remember the source...

Hard times make strong men
Strong men make good times
Good times make weak men
Weak men make hard times.


----------



## peter yetman

Not quite words to live by, but it's topical....


Hogokansatsukan said:


> I could care less how lumens are coming out the end of my light. I don't need a number. I want just enough to see what I need to see. No more. No less.



P


----------



## bykfixer

Paraphrasing: 
No one can wear one face he shows himself, and another face to the multitudes without becoming bewildered at some point. 
- Hawthorne


----------



## 5S8Zh5

_During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act._

George Orwell


----------



## bykfixer

^^ amen brother, amen


----------



## bykfixer

Well done is always better than well said. 

- Ben Franklin


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough.


----------



## 5S8Zh5

Nobody can eat 50 eggs.


----------



## StarHalo

5S8Zh5 said:


> Nobody can eat 50 eggs.



"LA Beast 100 Raw Egg Chug", he gets to about 75.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

5S8Zh5 said:


> Nobody can eat 50 eggs.





StarHalo said:


> "LA Beast 100 Raw Egg Chug", he gets to about 75.


 
The difference between eating and drinking. 

75 ........


----------



## Bimmerboy

A longtime favorite gleaned from my gym teacher, a former Marine.

"There are more horses asses than there are horses"


----------



## bykfixer

Your most important possesion is your conscience. 

- Ken Matthews (filling in for Rush Limbaugh)


----------



## orbital

+

One Tablespoon of bleach* per quart (or liter) of water is more than enough to disinfect / denature

*concentrated bleach

2T/qt of ordinary bleach


----------



## bykfixer

Announce you're hunting a lion and everybody will join you. 

Announce you're hunting a skunk and you find hourself alone. 

- unknown


----------



## ledbetter

“We live as we dream: alone.” Joseph Conrad


----------



## bykfixer

The more you talk, the more people are inclined to hear things you didn't say.

- CG himself


----------



## Cree XHP 70 LED

Don't stop shooting until the threat has stopped moving.


----------



## orbital

+

*Disinfect your snappy little cell phone several times a day**.
*_2 Tablespoons bleach in 1 quart of __water
_



I truly believe most people need to be told this=====================================================


----------



## StarHalo

The definition of an artist is what the rest of their album sounds like, not the singles. - Questlove


----------



## Dave_5280

Talent hits a target no one else can hit. Genius hits a target no one else can see. German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer


----------



## run4jc

May have already been posted, but "Better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it..."


----------



## Tejasandre

Ride your motorcycle like every car is trying to kill you, because the are.


----------



## run4jc

Good one. And true. 



Tejasandre said:


> Ride your motorcycle like every car is trying to kill you, because the are.


----------



## orbital

+

The historical Wade House is just a few miles down the road from me, it sits at the edge of our Kettle Moraine Forest.
Abraham Lincoln stayed there, likely between speeches via stagecoach.

So, my point today

Remember the significance of our 16th President *Abraham Lincoln

*


----------



## 5S8Zh5

_No matter what kind of night you're having, morning always wins._

- Pigs in Heaven

_Whatever you want the most, it's going to be the worst thing for you._

- The Bean Tree

_Reporters are like Vampires, Curry likes to say. They can't come into your home without your invitation, but once they're there, you won't get them out till they've sucked you dry._

- I'm Thinking of Ending Things

_For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple and wrong._

- H. L. Menken


----------



## SCEMan

_“When you were born you were crying and everyone else was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone else is crying.”_

― Ralph Waldo Emerson


----------



## bykfixer

Live your life in a way so that the preacher doesn't have to lie at your funeral.


----------



## raggie33

no matter how drunk you get dont try to ride a kangeroo


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

raggie33 said:


> no matter how drunk you get dont try to ride a kangeroo



That's the problem with drinking too much, trying to ride this guy seems like a good idea.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

Absolutely no one has ever woke up and wished they'd drank more the night before. :green: ...


----------



## Monocrom

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Absolutely no one has ever woke up and wished they'd drank more the night before. :green: ...



Very true.

Also, that pic. lends a whole new meaning to the ancient meme, _"I has a bucket."_


----------



## bykfixer

Give a man an inch and right away he thinks he's a ruler. 

- Maxwell Smart


----------



## orbital

+


----------



## orbital

+

*2020 was not 20/20*


----------



## bykfixer

That man could sell radios to deaf people. 

- I forget who said it


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Making good decisions comes from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.


----------



## 5S8Zh5

...about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.


----------



## KITROBASKIN

PhotonWrangler said:


> Making good decisions comes from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.


We're finding out about more and more animals that can gain Experience from watching others' bad (and good) decisions; something once thought only humans coulda shoulda woulda achieve.


----------



## bykfixer

By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail. 
- Benjamin Franklin


----------



## orbital

+

Do not use cruise control in your car during the winter if there is even the slightest chance of precipitation.

_(regardless of how much you want to talk on the phone, text & scroll through re'tweets) :shakehead_


----------



## idleprocess

orbital said:


> +
> 
> Do not use cruise control in your car during the winter if there is even the slightest chance of precipitation.
> 
> _(regardless of how much you want to talk on the phone, text & scroll through re'tweets) :shakehead_



Related: planned deceleration on the highway should be accomplished modulating _the accelerator pedal_ whenever possible.


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## KITROBASKIN

Albuquerque, New Mexico is like many cities that do not often get snowy, icy road conditions compared to St. Paul, Minnesota (for instance) where drivers are more savvy about hazardous winter driving. It is a common occurrence that young bucks with their Pavement Princess 4X4's think that because they are driving a 4 wheel drive, it is their privilege, their right, to drive faster on slippery roads. Steer clear of them. They do not realize until too late their inability to stop is no better than a regular vehicle.


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## Hooked on Fenix

If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. If someone else has something to say that you don't like, don't try to cancel or dox them. What goes around, comes around. 

Don't follow political advice from celebrities. Popularity doesn't equate with intelligence.

If life gives you lemons, make a battery. Try to be more positive than negative.

If at first you don't succeed, you shouldn't be disarming bombs.

If someone strikes you, turn the other cheek. No, not that one.


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## orbital

idleprocess said:


> Related: planned deceleration on the highway should be accomplished modulating _the accelerator pedal_ whenever possible.



+

The important thing here is traction control does not save you or should you think it will.
when traction control kicks in, it triggers all sorts of systems on the car, this fully upsets the balance of the car.

If you're sipping your $9 cappuccino while figuring out your iPhone13.R.ix and traction control fires off,,=,,=,*
the cars balance changes instantly & your reaction will be 100% *unconducive* to the grip of the road beneath you.


*Never think driver assist electronics in vehicles are the answer.*


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## Poppy

Hooked on Fenix said:


> <SNIP>
> 
> If at first you don't succeed, you shouldn't be disarming bombs.


ROTFL


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## bykfixer

I was once able to keep pace with the hare. 
I now envy the pace of the tortoise

- Ducky from NCIS


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## orbital

+

Went to a big home improvement store today to get a specific long taper punch.
I walked around in circles for a while before asking a guy if he could look up what isle it's in.

He looked it up & it was in isle 234E or something.

I said to him; *along with listing the quantities 'in stock' online, list what isle it's in.*
..with the time savings, maybe I'll buy something else.

(other stores probably do that already, it's just logic)


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## Chauncey Gardiner

orbital said:


> +
> 
> .......
> I walked around in circles for a while
> 
> .........



Of course you did.


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## orbital

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Of course you did.



+

hehehe,, big circles Chance

they weren't around the drill bits
..they weren't around the x
..they weren't around the y
..they weren't around the z

they were hidden between the neon gear & some other stuff in isle 234E :nana:

add; it was at a Menards, in the tool/hardware area.
the isles are shorter, so walked up one, down the other ect.. also easy to miss something.


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## Chauncey Gardiner

orbital said:


> +
> 
> hehehe,, big circles Chance
> 
> they weren't around the drill bits
> ..they weren't around the x
> ..they weren't around the y
> ..they weren't around the z
> 
> they were hidden between the neon gear & some other stuff in isle 234E :nana:
> 
> add; it was at a Menards, in the tool/hardware area.
> the isles are shorter, so walked up one, down the other ect.. also easy to miss something.



big circles -  

I miss aimlessly walking the aisles at our local Home Depot. DAMN you COVID-19!


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## Chauncey Gardiner

If you have the ability, *Enjoy the Mow*. I know, some guys just have better things to do. 

However, for a lot of us, it's the only peace and quiet we get. 







That's what it looks like in Washington state ....... when it's not raining. :thumbsup:


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## bykfixer

orbital said:


> +
> 
> Went to a big home improvement store today to get a specific long taper punch.
> I walked around in circles for a while before asking a guy if he could look up what isle it's in.
> 
> He looked it up & it was in isle 234E or something.
> 
> I said to him; *along with listing the quantities 'in stock' online, list what isle it's in.*
> ..with the time savings, maybe I'll buy something else.
> 
> (other stores probably do that already, it's just logic)



I like it when they say "it's in hardware". I say "hold on there Wilbur, I'm in a hardware store big enough for two zip codes, please be a little more specific".
I never knew drawer handles and hinges are hardware but copper pipe and wire cutters are not. 


BTT: My boss asked a young intern "what do you want to be when you grow up?" The response was "alive".


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## PhotonWrangler

A falling knife has no handle.


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## bykfixer

When someone asks what time it is break out in song singing the Chicago song "does anybody really know what time it is……does anybody really care? No I can't imagine why……we've all got time enough to die" 
And maybe if you're lucky somebody nearby familiar with the song will jump in singing the background vocals…… "knooow"……"caaaare"……"'bout what time, oh oh no ooh"……
That would be cool.


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## thermal guy

Please close trash can lid before moving! “ learned that one the hard way” 😂😂


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## Chauncey Gardiner

thermal guy said:


> Please close trash can lid before moving! “ learned that one the hard way” 😂😂


Yes, they have a tendency to buck on ya if you attempt to move them with the lid open.


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## thermal guy

I learned more about Physics doing this one time then I ever did in school 😂


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## PhotonWrangler

thermal guy said:


> I learned more about Physics doing this one time then I ever did in school 😂


Physics always wins.


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## Chauncey Gardiner

PhotonWrangler said:


> Physics always wins.


As do refuse and recycle bins when their lids are left open.


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## bykfixer




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## Hooked on Fenix

What doesn’t kill you, makes you uglier. Choosing to press on despite your circumstances makes you stronger.


----------



## bykfixer




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## knucklegary




----------



## knucklegary

I've been guilty of that proverb more than once


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## PhotonWrangler

Oh yes, I'm guilty of this also. Constantly trying to be better at it.


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## bykfixer

Age is a mighty high price to pay for maturity.

- on plaque on a wall in a Kenntucky bar.


----------



## Splitrail

"You've _got_ the _brain_ of a four-_year_-_old_ boy, and I bet _he_ was glad to _get_ rid of it."
~Groucho Marx~


----------



## 3_gun

Duck
Better to have it & not need it than need it & not have it
A man has got to know his limitations
Drink more water
Be polite & have a plan to kill everyone
Failing to plan is planning to fail
Talk half as much as you listen


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## knucklegary

bykfixer said:


> Age is a mighty high price to pay for maturity.
> 
> - on plaque on a wall in a Kenntucky bar.


Hope plaque talking about Bourbon because I got a long ways to go.. yet!


----------



## chip100t

“mind your own business”

I am a proper busy body, always want to know what my neighbours are up to. I try my hardest to fight it.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

chip100t said:


> “mind your own business”


Excellent words to live by.


----------



## ledbetter

”May you have a lawsuit where you know you’re right.” Gypsy curse.


----------



## bykfixer

A conversation between Beth and John Dutton:
(paraphrasing without the 4 letter words)

John: "Beth I hope you outlive me"…

Beth: "you know only the good die young, right?"

John: "what's your point?"

Beth: "if a meteor hits tonight me and the roaches will be running this place tomorrow."


----------



## knucklegary

Hope: It's all you have when you realize you are not entirely in control of outcomes..
But without hope, how do we cope with the challenges of life?


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Pain is the body's way of warning you not to do something after it's too late.


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

You know you’re an adult when you start falling apart and you realize that the world is too.


----------



## ledbetter

Hope makes a fine breakfast but a poor supper.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Don't corner something that is meaner than you.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

The future is already here - it's just not evenly distributed.
--William Gibson.


----------



## knucklegary

All animals (humans) may be created equal but some are more equal than others
_--George Orwell _


----------



## bykfixer

The other day my 85 year old neighbor who's had some health issues this year said "what good is it to make it this long?" I said "you walked a ln 18 hole golf course until last year, I'm 59 and celebrate being able to get my legs through boxer shorts without losing my balance." 

In other words it's not the age, it's the mileage.


----------



## Chauncey Gardiner

PhotonWrangler said:


> Don't corner something that is meaner than you.


 
- or hungrier.


----------



## Monocrom

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> - or hungrier.


Especially if you look yummy. 🍴


----------



## Hooked on Fenix

If you’re going to travel somewhere that the wildlife views you as food, always bring along someone who runs slower than you.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

A moment of patience, in a moment of anger, will save you 1000 moments of regret.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

If you take the bull by the horns, you might get scratched up.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Be brave enough to suck at something new.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Moderation in everything. Especially moderation.

_-Alan Alda_


----------



## PhotonWrangler

It takes curiosity to learn, and courage to un-learn.


----------



## bykfixer

School vs Life
In school you are taught a lesson then you take a test.
In life you take a test that ends up teaching you a lesson.


----------



## bykfixer

Society flourishes when an old man plants a tree he knows he'll never seek shade under.

Queen Elizebeth II


----------



## bykfixer

Mark Twain once said "you can put red ants and black ants in a jar, put on the lid and nothing happens. Shake the jar and they begin to attack each other. Red ants think black is the enemy, black ants think red is the enemy. We should not see each other as the enemy. The real enemy is the one who shook the jar".


----------



## Monocrom

bykfixer said:


> Mark Twain once said "you can put red ants and black ants in a jar, put on the lid and nothing happens. Shake the jar and they begin to attack each other. Red ants think black is the enemy, black ants think red is the enemy. We should not see each other as the enemy. The real enemy is the one who shook the jar".


Very true! Unfortunately putting an end to manipulative domestic politicians on both sides of the aisle is a crime.


----------



## bykfixer

Oh it aint just politicians shaking the jar. I think that's what Mr Twain was getting at.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

You can't change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.

_-unknown_


----------



## PhotonWrangler

Today's favor is tomorrow's expectation.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

When one teaches, two learn.


----------



## PhotonWrangler

You know you're an adult when it's no longer hard to fall asleep on Christmas Eve. 🎄


----------



## Monocrom

Sadly, true.


----------



## jtr1962

PhotonWrangler said:


> You know you're an adult when it's no longer hard to fall asleep on Christmas Eve. 🎄


Even more so when Christmas has no special meaning whatsoever. To me now it's just another day. Any magic left the day (and pretty much my entire life) long ago.


----------

