# What is the lamest flashlight you own?



## rubanite (Feb 20, 2017)

I'm not talking about a light that's actually higher quality but you don't like on a personal level. I'm talking about a light so lame and wimpy that even normal people think it's a joke.

This is that light for me

















If you look it has two sets of LEDs and it is designed so you can have one light source pointing ahead and another illuminating your foot path. I use the word "designed" very loosely but it seemed like it would be a decent little novelty light.

It's trash. Absolute trash. The LEDs are garbage even by the lamest of standards and the angle of the beams don't even illuminate where it's supposed to illuminate.

The packaging showed an old woman walking her dog in the dark and having a great time. But when I turned it on all I could think of was this old woman getting lost and falling off a cliff in the darkness.

This was at the start of my flashlight collecting so I wasn't that picky and have learned from my mistakes. But this one still remains the lamest light I own.


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## bykfixer (Feb 20, 2017)

None. Every one I own is great. If it puts out light in darkness it's a keeper.


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## richbuff (Feb 20, 2017)

What is the lamest flashlight you own? One man's trash is another man's treasure. What I think is junk/a scam, someone else will happily use for average working material. 

When I think I have scraped the bottom of the barrel, along comes a lower barrel. 

When I think I found a budget flashlight that cost one cent to make, along comes a flashlight that cost one tenth of a cent to make. 

I own some lame flashlights that sometimes turn on, because I bought them to give them away/loan them out, but I changed my mind and decided to not embarrass myself, and I have not given them away/not loaned them out. 

Anything under $USD<insert your number here>.


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## bdogps (Feb 20, 2017)

To me the most lamest torch I have is the sunwayman t25c. The light works fine, it's the battery tube that is the worst of its kind. It's hard to find the right battery size that will fit. I tried all types of unprotected batteries and brands. Only one of all the 6 types I have will fit. If I install the wrong one, good luck getting it out since it doesn't unscrew from the head.


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## rubanite (Feb 20, 2017)

bdogps said:


> To me the most lamest torch I have is the sunwayman t25c. The light works fine, it's the battery tube that is the worst of its kind. It's hard to find the right battery size that will fit. I tried all types of unprotected batteries and brands. Only one of all the 6 types I have will fit. If I install the wrong one, good luck getting it out since it doesn't unscrew from the head.


I have a random 18650 that is too short for most lights. It a total pain


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## Hooked on Fenix (Feb 20, 2017)

I have an old yellow dynamo squeeze flashlight. Light uses a bulb as it predates l.e.d.s. Has no battery to charge. Squeezing it gives you a second or two of light. The act of squeezing it moves the light out of the area you need it. Trying to keep the light where you need it while squeezing it gets your fingers pinched.

I also have an old plastic Brinkmann 2 AA l.e.d. flashlight that's nearly 20 years old. I think it runs on a first or second generation Nichia 5 mm l.e.d. (Nichia BS l.e.d.) Puts out about maybe 3 lumens with a bullseye pattern tight beam (very ringy beam). It's the size of a light that uses a 26650 lithium ion battery. I think it was one of the first lights that used 2 cells instead of three. It was state of the art then, now it's from the stone age of l.e.d. technology.


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## Offgridled (Feb 21, 2017)

Anything that lights the things I need to see could not be lame


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## Dr Forinor (Feb 21, 2017)

Streamlight Tasklight 1AA and 2AA


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## TinderBox (UK) (Feb 21, 2017)

I bought 2 of those cheap aluminum 100 led shower-head monstrosities years ago and they have never been used.

John.


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## torchsarecool (Feb 21, 2017)

My brother bought me a draper aluminium torch from the £1 store. He thought it was a joke but it's the go to light for attending to the kids when the decide to wake me up in the middle of the flippin night! Always on moonlight, because thats it's one and only mode


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## DIPSTIX (Feb 21, 2017)

6 LED flashlight from Harbor Freight is the lamest one I have. Funny thing is, it's my wife's favorite. It has a simple on and off clicky.thats it


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## Kitchen Panda (Feb 21, 2017)

Some years back, I bought a couple of 2D cell, plastic, PR2 bulb flashlights to convert for use in an astronomy lecture I was attending. I had to make them dim and red, so I put about 5 layers of stop light repair tape over them -only to find more light was coming out behind the reflector than through the red tape - so I had to wrap the whole head in electrician's tape. Later I turned one back into a white-light flashlight. It's now my standard of lameness - no matter how low-power a modern LED light is, it always blows away the brownish spotlight produced by these things. Two for $6, I think - arguably the wrong tool for the job.

Bill


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## LeanBurn (Feb 21, 2017)

I have a Sunwayman T16R that I don't even list because I never use it, it would be my lame light. Not that it is awful, but because it just isn't my personality. I don't really have a use for a 100% IMAX wall of pure flood light the size of my thumb. It feels odd in my hand due to its size, it has a rechargeable CR123 battery that irritates me every time I think if it...I loathe CR123 batteries with every fibre of my flashlight being. 

Otherwise I use everything on my list and none are lame.


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## aginthelaw (Feb 21, 2017)

TinderBox (UK) said:


> I bought 2 of those cheap aluminum 100 led shower-head monstrosities years ago and they have never been used.
> 
> John.




Mod it with a hundred xhp70's and you have a keeper...or if you want to be a gentleman and light a cigarette for a lady, say on the moon...


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## david57strat (Feb 21, 2017)

For me, it'd be this old 2AA Mini Maglite. About the only nice things I can say about it, were that it always worked when I needed it, and the bronze finish was very pretty, when the light was new. It actually still looks halfway decent today, only because I always stored it in its sheath, when carrying it. It saw a good amount of use, before I got educated in what was available in decent flashlights.

That little Nitecore MT21a blows away the Maglite, in every possible sense.

Maglite's anodizing is very low quality, so the finish on these lights scuffs off way too easily. They're also not fully waterproof, which, by my standards, is unacceptable for any kind of EDC flashlight, in this day and age. I'm also not a fan of twisty interfaces, or lights with only one mode.




It's the one on the left.

Louzy output (about 15 lumens), from the stock incandescent bulb; hideous beam pattern (focused, or flood), awful run times. I never got around to upgrading this to an LED drop-in - and probably never will. I run it on Eneloops, on those rare occasions when I use it. It, pretty much serves as a reminder, to me, of how far we've come, in Flashlight World. At one time, this was considered quite the powerful little flashlight.


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## xxo (Feb 21, 2017)

DIPSTIX said:


> 6 LED flashlight from Harbor Freight is the lamest one I have. Funny thing is, it's my wife's favorite. It has a simple on and off clicky.thats it



Those HF LEDs are not that bad if you get them for free with one of their coupons. They are fairly bright for up close, or at least bright enough for most close up tasks, though they don't have much throw and eat up batteries pretty fast (especially the cheapo no name heavy duty zinc batteries they come with). I find them to work fairly well and are not bad to have around as loaners or beaters.


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## TinderBox (UK) (Feb 21, 2017)

I got two USB Hard drive cases, the actively led was so bright it lit up the wall 10ft away, I had to put a black sticker over them to calm them down.

John


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## rubanite (Feb 21, 2017)

Hooked on Fenix said:


> I have an old yellow dynamo squeeze flashlight. Light uses a bulb as it predates l.e.d.s. Has no battery to charge. Squeezing it gives you a second or two of light. The act of squeezing it moves the light out of the area you need it. Trying to keep the light where you need it while squeezing it gets your fingers pinched.
> 
> I also have an old plastic Brinkmann 2 AA l.e.d. flashlight that's nearly 20 years old. I think it runs on a first or second generation Nichia 5 mm l.e.d. (Nichia BS l.e.d.) Puts out about maybe 3 lumens with a bullseye pattern tight beam (very ringy beam). It's the size of a light that uses a 26650 lithium ion battery. I think it was one of the first lights that used 2 cells instead of three. It was state of the art then, now it's from the stone age of l.e.d. technology.


Holy crap. I'm pretty sure I had the dynamo squeeze thing when I was a kid. It was crap. And so loud


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## badbs101 (Feb 21, 2017)

DIPSTIX said:


> 6 LED flashlight from Harbor Freight is the lamest one I have. Funny thing is, it's my wife's favorite. It has a simple on and off clicky.thats it



I think everyone has one like this laying around. Mine is stamped Harley Davidson but it's probably made in the same Chinese factory. The light flickers, the click switch is intermittent and angry blue doesn't even begin to describe the led tint. I had it in my motorcycle bag for years as an emergency flashlight. It is being replaced by a Surefire Titan A thanks to this forum. (longtime lurker, new poster).
Flashlights are like pizza though; no such thing as bad pizza.:twothumbs


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## besafe2 (Feb 21, 2017)

bykfixer said:


> None. Every one I own is great. If it puts out light in darkness it's a keeper.



This.


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## bykfixer (Feb 21, 2017)

There's no such thing as a lame flashlight that works... :sigh:

The only lame flashlight is one that doesn't work when you need it to.


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## schuster (Feb 22, 2017)

bykfixer said:


> There's no such thing as a lame flashlight that works... :sigh:
> 
> The only lame flashlight is one that doesn't work when you need it to.



Then my original Lumapower Avenger (Rebel 100) would definitely fit the bill. One of the most poorly designed circuit paths I have ever seen in years and years of owning flashlights.

Fiddly, intermittent/variable, unreliable battery contact in just about all configurations (tailswitch or twisty, and using any of the various different sized battery spacing rods). Coddled and played with it endlessly, tried minor mods, tried different battery types hoping to find the one that worked reliably, waited for a fix, eventually gave up. Long afterwards I discovered that Lumapower had offered an upgrade/trade-in deal to original owners but I was never notified and missed the time window; they had nothing to offer me. Twinges of anger/regret every single time I opened the drawer and saw that black box sitting in there.


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## TinderBox (UK) (Feb 22, 2017)

Has anybody else bought any shake light`s and just cannot be bothered to shake them to power them up for the feeble amount of light they produce.

John.


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## Hooked on Fenix (Feb 22, 2017)

I gave my shakelights away after seeing this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz3SBY8zj8w


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## peter yetman (Feb 22, 2017)

TinderBox (UK) said:


> I got two USB Hard drive cases, the actively led was so bright it lit up the wall 10ft away, I had to put a black sticker over them to calm them down.
> 
> John


I do the sound for our local Theatre Group. I bought some powered speakers for my effecrs which have very bright blue leds to show they are online. In the early days they asked if I could switch the lights off as it was distracting in the dark!.
It's the only thing that lets me know they are powered up.
They've given up now, and Ive taken the Gaffer tape off.
P


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## peter yetman (Feb 22, 2017)

Actually, I have no lame lights. Like everything else that comes into my life that doesn't function in the way I wish, they get taken apart and then I bin the bits I can't use. Hey, it's recycling.
P


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## Fireclaw18 (Feb 22, 2017)

I have lots of lame lights, so its hard to remember which ones are the lamest.

Some ones off the top of my head:

*Mag light Solitaire incandescent*. Had this one for over 20 years. At the time it looked and felt amazing. It was aluminum and felt well built. Back when I got it white LEDs didn't exist and all pocket lights were incandescent. While this light looked and felt "quality" (at the time), what wasn't so great about it was the dim 2 lumen output of orange light. And that was with a fresh bulb and fresh cell. As the bulb got worn and the cell ran down output rapidly declined. 

It even had a "zoom" feature with 2 modes: 
"spot" - good for finding the keyhole to a door from about 3 feet away. Too dim for anything else.
"donut" - a wide narrow ring of extremely dim orange light with no illumination in the center. Completely useless.


*Some generic cheap LED zoomies*. I have tons of budget zoomies. Many of them make great mod hosts. Some of them are excellent lights right out of the box. Others... not so much.
The worst one I have is a very poorly designed 1xAA/14500 tube light, which features the following:
"spot" mode - looks fine (sharp image of the emitter)
"flood" mode - comically narrow. Barely a few degrees wider than the spot mode! ... resulting in a beam angle in flood of probably less than 10 degrees. The flood beam is like what you'd get if you shined a normal light through one end of a paper towel tube.... useless.

The problem was caused by the designers failing to allow the bezel to retract enough, leaving too big a gap between the bottom of the lens and the top of the LED in flood mode. A very simple problem that the designer could have easily fixed. I could fix it myself with an hours time and a handfile, but can't be bothered to as the light doesn't have enough other good features to make me want to mod it.


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## TKC (Feb 22, 2017)

*​I don't own any lame lights.*


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## jorn (Feb 22, 2017)

Got this lame disney princess light as a joke for my birthday some yeas ago. Modded it with a xp-g direct driven from 3xaaa. No cooling at all. if i turn this thing on, im getting blinded no matter what direction i hold it. Plan is to give it back to the couple when they get a baby :devil:


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## Antykain (Feb 22, 2017)

TinderBox (UK) said:


> Has anybody else bought any shake light`s and just cannot be bothered to shake them to power them up for the feeble amount of light they produce.
> 
> John.



Yes.. I still have one. 






I received this as a gift many years ago.. Don't remember a time that this Shake Light flashlight was ever put to any real use. There is no branding on this Shake Light in the pic, couldn't tell you who made this variant. I've had it close to ~15 years though. lol

EDIT: found type and maker of the light.. Shake Light 40 by EcoCentricNow


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## Chauncey Gardiner (Feb 22, 2017)

Up until about about ten minutes ago this DuraTech was my lamest light. But since I just sold it to wimmer, it's now his lamest light. I told him it was made from a type of thermosetting polymer which would last a thousand years. Hence the name. That little white sticker is the battery instructions. Most members know why I left it on.  

~ Chance


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## Chauncey Gardiner (Feb 22, 2017)

Another big selling point for wimmer was -





how easily it converts into a mule.


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## Offgridled (Feb 22, 2017)

Wimmer building up that stunning collection


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## wimmer21 (Feb 22, 2017)

I pop in on a thread that I've never read and I see my name being tossed around like a softball at a nunnery. I suppose the word "lamest" being in the thread title should've been a red flag tho.


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## wimmer21 (Feb 22, 2017)

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Another big selling point for wimmer was -
> 
> 
> 
> ...



LMAO that's awesome.


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## Chauncey Gardiner (Feb 22, 2017)

Thanks folks! You've been great. I'm outta here ...... drops mic and walks off stage ..... 

~ CG


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## Offgridled (Feb 22, 2017)

wimmer21 said:


> I pop in on a thread that I've never read and I see my name being tossed around like a softball at a nunnery. I suppose the word "lamest" being in the thread title should've been a red flag tho.


We missed you


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## Hugh Johnson (Feb 22, 2017)

My lamest flashlight is a hand crank LED. It's supposed to be able to provide emergency lighting, without access to an external power source, by recharging the battery through a crank on the side. The crank never charged the battery. I was only ever able to get light out of it while I was actively cranking.


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## RedLED (Feb 23, 2017)

bykfixer said:


> There's no such thing as a lame flashlight that works... :sigh:
> 
> The only lame flashlight is one that doesn't work when you need it to.


That's right, and if it ever saved your life how lame would be then? Or is that too philosophical?


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## jorn (Feb 23, 2017)

Will them ever save your life? The lamest light will not be in my pocket when i need light, ever. And it's in the bottom of my drawer with no batteries installed. So it's the LAST light i will grab if i need a light.


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## RedLED (Feb 23, 2017)

Jorn, 

My custom Mc Gizmo Haiku failed me on aboard an aircraft because of a top-of-the-line rechargeable battery failed on me, less than two weeks ago. What if it was a real emergency, what if I could not have reached my spare primary CR123's? 

The question itself is flawed.

Something a man who owned a Rolls Royce told me as a kid, and I never forgot, he said: 'I have a car worth way more than the average home most people live in, yet when it broke down, even the worst, beat up piece of junk car passing me on the side of the road was all of a sudden a better car, at the time, than my most expensive car in the world.'

My best in the world light failed on me because of an AW battery, not because of Mc Gizmo's excellence in engineering. That had nothing to do with it. We all know Don's lights.

Back to primaries for me. That light has been in my pocket since January 2010 when I received it, everyday since, and with Surefire CR 123 primary batteries, with never a problem. I am certain, if I not had the protected cell, and primary cells, instead, nothing would have gone wrong. Certainly not a complete loss of light.

So, the lame light in the bottom of your drawer, may not be so lame after all? If you were to use it, you don't know what to expect from it. I assume a cheap light, just as my shock with an expensive light that has been fLawless for over 7 years. Your lame light could possibly still assist you if needed. 

Again the question is compromised philosophically, and flawed as there is no correct answer to the question.


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## bykfixer (Feb 23, 2017)

I have so-called lame flashlights scattered about and cannot tell you how many times they came in handy for one reason or another. 

A few were 'shelved' into retirement since they were replaced with better... mainly because of propritary bulbs or a fickle switch. But they have a battery nearby just in case. And quite possibly the lamest flashlight ever... the bic lighter.. one of those are also scattered about my home.

I hear ya on the primary vs rechargeable RED. Any light I own that absolutely positively has to work has a primary. I paid upwards of $200 for some and dang sure aint going to have it fail because of a $1.45 battery.


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## jorn (Feb 23, 2017)

RedLED.
There is a picture in this thread with my lamest light. It will never save my life. Point was the day i really-really need a light. I would not dig all the way into the bottom of the drawer to pick the modded 3xaaa plastic disney light, with no cooling to save the day  I agree that any junk light can save the day. But the chanses i pick the " blind my self and anyone around me disney one" when i need a light, is zero. Not when there is xx good ones in the same drawer


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## Chauncey Gardiner (Feb 23, 2017)

Also, RedLED, was the battery that failed you actually an AW, or was it more likely an eBay counterfeit? If you paid $1.45 for it as the ones bykfixer posted about, I'm sure it wasn't an authentic AW. If you're not positive, you should edit your post. 

~ Chance


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## bykfixer (Feb 23, 2017)

I meant $1.45 for a primary CG. 

I paid $7ea for some nite core rcr's and like them just fine but only use them in lights I use for entertainment. But my live or die lights like the PRX only get primaries.


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## RedLED (Feb 23, 2017)

No, is is a real AW from RTD Vapor. Only had it since July, and their warranty is 5 days, which makes sense, as people can abuse these things and that may be for the protected ones. No big deal they are only seven dollars. No, a rechargeable protected, for less than a good primary would make no sense.

I have many AW batteries, and they work fine, I think they are very good this is the only protected one I have, which is what is recommended for the Haiku, so I will go back to primaries in that light. 

Going to to run some tests on it and if it still works, I will put it in a non critical light.


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## RedLED (Feb 23, 2017)

Jorn, 

OK, I give in, now that Disney is involved, it's lame! You should take one of your nice Norwegian sledge hammers and smash it! Put it to rest.


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## peter yetman (Feb 23, 2017)

Excellent.
P


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## jso902 (Feb 23, 2017)

DIPSTIX said:


> 6 LED flashlight from Harbor Freight is the lamest one I have. Funny thing is, it's my wife's favorite. It has a simple on and off clicky.thats it


That light fell apart the first day I got it. Oddly my wife likes it as well.


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## RPM (Feb 23, 2017)

Ok I'll play...

I have no idea where it came from...


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## Offgridled (Feb 23, 2017)

RPM said:


> Ok I'll play...
> 
> I have no idea where it came from...


That's a fisherman's dream light


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## troutpool (Feb 23, 2017)

You can buy one on Amazon for $9.


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## Hooked on Fenix (Feb 24, 2017)

I didn't know they made fishing lures with keychains.


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## bykfixer (Feb 24, 2017)

Lame flashlight saves the day story.

My middle boy jumped across a creek at 10pm and dropped his phone. Well he couldn't find it as it apparently flew out of his pocket and flew that-away (pointing left). Closer to a dollar store than home he bought one of those buck99 2D lights with the honeycomb reflector and dot in the center of the lens. 
Well he found his phone with it. 

Now when he got home he imediately tossed the ShingFung batteries and put in some Rayovacs. 

Thing is... he's more proud of that flashlight than many of his other posessions. Which is I say "even a bad flashlight aint bad these days".


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## ven (Feb 24, 2017)

Cool stuff mr fixer

I will play from a different angle, too easy for me to pick a *****fire light that the lens came loose or failed to turn on(fenix e25 but got a new one in mail). The nitecore LR30 recently disappoints in several ways , enough to not recommend. Already a fan of the Fenix cl20, nice feel, good quality plastics used with a warm side of neutral beam..............super easy on the eyes. Granted not perfect with the pita cell swapping due to design, but i digress......... The nitecore feels cheap, like $5 cheap plastic, the hi cri...........well it could be or maybe not. I can not tell and its cool which i dont really want in a lantern(subjective). The warning for placing the 18650 correctly does not sit well with $35 plastic lantern. So no protection.........great! Something that can be done and easily done in the dark when swapping out cells. Being cool its quite glary (is there a word, well it has glare if there is not) and mode spacing is far from best. Low is too bright, not got a clue how to get red, have tried but give up after a few attempts. 

The cl20 has been tested fully by Madison, from the metal beams in the garage around 6ft 6" ish onto concrete.............bounced and works. The LR30 i would guess would disintegrate from that height . 

So in the last few years(memory past then is useless anyway), this is my contender for a lemon with all things considered. I will persevere anyway, after all its a tool and can be shoved somewhere for light. As mr fixer rightly points out in a way, light is light come an important time or need, warm tints and fancy bodies are irrelevant when something important is going down. By that i mean a quick grab light will do the job just as well as any , when you just need to see in the dark.

Maybe its not that bad after all But i will not get another...........



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## Chauncey Gardiner (Feb 24, 2017)

Since ridding myself of the DuraTech, next up in the lamest category is, due to name only, a ........ Farka.  

~ Chance 







Even bykfixer will admit, that's a lame name!


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## ven (Feb 24, 2017)

Farka that!!! great CG, OK OK i will play again


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## Offgridled (Feb 25, 2017)

OK farka ... I'm in. Lol funny stuff here..





upload pictures free


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## kevinwang (Feb 25, 2017)

Its outer layer seems to be rubber and plastic


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## bykfixer (Feb 25, 2017)

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Since ridding myself of the DuraTech, next up in the lamest category is, due to name only, a ........ Farka.
> 
> ~ Chance
> 
> ...



Lame? Are you kidding?

That name is synonomous with cool African dudes so probably misunderstood by us Yanks. 

Ali Farka Toure' was known as the African John Lee Hooker while his son Vieux Farka Toure' was often referred to as the Jimi Hendrix of the Sahara. Them's some mighty cool nicknames for bongo players. 

Actually I think ProTac is one of the lamest names for a series of lights. But millions of folks have apparently decided "what's in a name?" and scooped them up.


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## bykfixer (Feb 25, 2017)

ven said:


> Farka that!!! great CG, OK OK i will play again



I heard the rumor those existed but never actually saw one. UltraOk... that one takes some time to wrap my head around.


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## ven (Feb 25, 2017)

bykfixer said:


> I heard the rumor those existed but never actually saw one. UltraOk... that one takes some time to wrap my head around.




Yep, no cool tribes n stuff here....................i guess a board meeting happened. Has to be ultra, you know the ultra best kind of thing............ULTRA!!!! Other guys n girls just got fed up with it, OK OK what ever......................and it was born.


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## Bdm82 (Feb 25, 2017)

ven said:


> Farka that!!! great CG, OK OK i will play again


Okay, this is my favorite name yet. "We will make a flashlight so OK... let's call it UltraOK!"

Next up... UberOK?


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## bykfixer (Feb 25, 2017)

That's a pretty freakin' OK story Ven... 

Just glad it aint... wait for it...

OKFire.


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## Woods Walker (Feb 25, 2017)

The leartherman Serac 2 flashlight. I was so happy at first. A Fenix LOD with two modes and stainless bezel. Nice clip as well. Ok the PWM sucked on low but that was the LOD back in the day. Then after a few weeks of moderate use it started to flicker. Then it just wouldn't come on. Did all the tricks but it was dead. Got a new one from Leatherman and was happy. Only used it a few times and it also just stopped working. I still have it as the body does fit an E01 so it will turn an E01 into a clicky but that not working POS is the lamest flashlight I own. Speaking of shake lights I have some Nitestar ones and they work therefore aren't lame. In fact every now and then they're fun to play with.


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## ven (Feb 25, 2017)

ven said:


> Cool stuff mr fixer
> 
> . Low is too bright, not got a clue how to get red, have tried but give up after a few attempts.
> 
> ...




Well Callum picked the LR30 up, made it blue then red straight away....................Asked how he did it and from off, quick double tap...........I give up Least i know if i can not suss it, my 7yr old can!


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## bykfixer (Feb 25, 2017)

Such is the eternal question grown up to youth...

Adult: "How'd you do that?"
Child: I dunno, I'm just pushing buttons."

Logic of the adult mind dictates 2 things.
1) They no exactly what they are doing.
2) Aint no way they are going share the secret with a dumb grownup.

It's a conspiracy I tell ya.


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## ven (Feb 25, 2017)

I agree!! :laughing: 

I will be on the ps4, playing this for honor game online getting my a55 kicked left ,right,centre and above(literally).............he has a go a whoops butt! 

Then again he can type my reply's/posts soon:thinking:


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## bykfixer (Feb 25, 2017)

Once they hit 12 or 14 the super-power is gone... replaced by bird hunting.... the 2 leg-ed, sweet smelling curvey kind. 
I stopped playing video games with my kids when they could use every button on the controller at the same time while I was still getting the hang of joystick'd left hand and up/down/sideways control module in my right... never mind those other buttons up top, round the sides and underneath. 
Later I found out they were buying certain bubble gum cards for the cheat codes... 
Yet the simple task of closing a door eluded them. lol

They're grown now and still swear they were just pushing buttons. 

I used to say "I let you win at kickball, why don't you let me win at Mario Cart just once?"


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## ven (Feb 25, 2017)

:laughing:

Yep i just let everyone else win....................guess i am a looser then :laughing:


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## bykfixer (Feb 25, 2017)

My kids are grown now and have their own place... with wall sized tv... and the games they play most are the ones from when they were little kids like mega-man, donkey kong or the original mario. And every year at Christmas they give me another kinex or lego featuring those old nintendo characters. 
Don't know if it's remourse or knowing they'll inherit them when I pass. 

I think this summer I'll hint about a Scooby Doo flashlight or that sorta thing for Christmas. (See how I steered btt?)


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## Offgridled (Feb 25, 2017)

This is tool funny :lmao:


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## ven (Feb 25, 2017)

Someone say Scooby doo:naughty:

Potentially the worst flashlight i would like to own:thinking:


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## Offgridled (Feb 25, 2017)

ven said:


> Someone say Scooby doo:naughty:
> 
> Potentially the worst flashlight i would like to own:thinking:


I'll take it. Send pp please


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## bykfixer (Feb 26, 2017)

Trade ya a Hulk Hogan for a Scooby Doo






But ya aint gettin' my GI Joe light



This one is actually a pretty good replica of the Fulton MX 991


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## ven (Feb 26, 2017)

Its yours OG!!!

Very cool stuff mr fixer, i know the hulk n others a corny but to a young kid their as cool as anything! There MUST be collectors of these plastic lights, be them toy,disney or who ever types. I can only imagine the colours and variety of designs


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## deye223 (Feb 26, 2017)

after finding this sight and doing some research all my led lenser torch's 14 of them :laughing:


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## ven (Feb 26, 2017)

:laughing:


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## bykfixer (Feb 26, 2017)

^^ I figured you'd find the LED Lenser is the lamest a blasphimous statement Ven.

But if those are op's lamest he must have some pretty good stuff.


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## Chauncey Gardiner (Feb 26, 2017)

bykfixer said:


> I heard the rumor those existed but never actually saw one. UltraOk... that one takes some time to wrap my head around.



I'm pretty sure something was lost in translation. Still, you'd think someone would put forth a suggestion that all names be considered by an English speaking person before production commenced. But what do I know? Maybe they were just trying to be truthful. 

UltraOK. When you want a flashlight that's ultimately, just OK, here it is.  

~ Chance


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## TinderBox (UK) (Feb 26, 2017)

Not mine but i am saving up for one.







John.


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## Lynx_Arc (Feb 26, 2017)

The lamest I own is a solitaire. It isn't worth the effort of putting in a AAA battery for the amount of light it puts out. 
Next in lame.... I mean line is a 4AA tap light that has a poorly designed automatic off timer that drains the batteries at 4ma rate with an odd clouded Christmas tree type wheat bulb. 
I've gotten rid of most of my other lame lights to make room for less lame ones.


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## Bdm82 (Feb 26, 2017)

I do think the "knock off" Shake Light (or ShakeLight, whatever it is) has to be the worst I own. The plastic is super cheap. I can shake like crazy and it holds no charge; it will only output more than 2 lumens (really, 2, I measured/compared) while being shaken. Oh, and it has the option of running off CR2032s as "backup". That's right, a battery backup for a mechanical (technically electromagnetic, but whatever!) mechanism. The output color is bright blue, and the "lens" makes me think of a 100 year old Mason jar. It has big rings in it, it is hazy, just terrible.

After rediscovering it in the drawer and taking these pictures... It is going in the garbage now. There is really and truly no time that I could or would ever use this light.


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## bykfixer (Feb 26, 2017)

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> I'm pretty sure something was lost in translation. Still, you'd think someone would put forth a suggestion that all names be considered by an English speaking person before production commenced. But what do I know? Maybe they were just trying to be truthful.
> 
> UltraOK. When you want a flashlight that's ultimately, just OK, here it is.
> 
> ~ Chance



Post of the thread right here. lol

Doin' the Bartman is cool Tinderbox!


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## Offgridled (Feb 26, 2017)

bykfixer said:


> Post of the thread right here. lol
> 
> Doin' the Bartman is cool Tinderbox!


I thought everybody had a bartman light


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## Bdm82 (Feb 26, 2017)

Offgridled said:


> I thought everybody had a bartman light


Any baseball fans?

Bartman is a name known as well in Chicago as Batman. 
https://youtu.be/-KGhR5FLsNI


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## Chauncey Gardiner (Feb 26, 2017)

Thanks, Mr. F. 

I will not start collecting novelty flashlights. I will not start collecting novelty flashlights. I will not start collecting novelty flashlights. 
..... no matter how cool they are. 

~ Chance


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## Offgridled (Feb 26, 2017)

Bdm82 said:


> Any baseball fans?
> 
> Bartman is a name known as well in Chicago as Batman.
> https://youtu.be/-KGhR5FLsNI


I do remember that . I don't want the flashlight anymore.


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## bykfixer (Feb 26, 2017)

Offgridled said:


> I thought everybody had a bartman light


Unfortunately... no. But the year is young. 



Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Thanks, Mr. F.
> 
> I will not start collecting novelty flashlights. I will not start collecting novelty flashlights. I will not start collecting novelty flashlights.
> ..... no matter how cool they are.
> ...


Once upon a time famous surfer Laird Hanilton said he wanted to ride a 100' wave someday, but then again he did not. Why do it? Because it's a 100' wave. Why not? Well, what's left after that? 

Kinda reminds me of a certain collector seeking to collect at least one example of every model made by a certain manufacturer whose name is close to numbers 3 & 8. 
Once that has been accomplished what's left?

Collect novelty lights and at least one named UltraOK.


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## deye223 (Feb 27, 2017)

bykfixer said:


> ^^ I figured you'd find the LED Lenser is the lamest a blasphimous statement Ven.
> 
> *But if those are op's lamest he must have some pretty good stuff*.



not on the torch front I don't I haven't bought one for 6 years other than the jetbeam 1mk the other day and the olight s1 just rolled up DOA 

but I do have 2 of the older olight m3x triton's . the led lenser T3 and T5 are hopeless compared to that little jetbeam that thing is very good 

for it's size .


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## TinderBox (UK) (Feb 27, 2017)

I think this cartoon series got me started as a flashaholic many many moons ago, Do any Americans recognize it. 






John.


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## Chauncey Gardiner (Feb 27, 2017)

bykfixer said:


> Once upon a time famous surfer Laird Hanilton said he wanted to ride a 100' wave someday, but then again he did not. Why do it? Because it's a 100' wave. Why not? Well, what's left after that?
> 
> Kinda reminds me of a certain collector seeking to collect at least one example of every model made by a certain manufacturer whose name is close to numbers 3 & 8.
> Once that has been accomplished what's left?



Since there's a good Chance you're referring to me. 










I'll answer your question. What's left? Well, the fine folks at FourSevens are still bringing new models to market. 

Case in point. ~ 





 Furthermore, there are still a few classics to be had. ~ A SS Preon ReVO.




an Orange Preon P2.




and the ever elusive Polished Ti/Black. Tuxedo P2





It'd be easier to find hen's teeth than one of these.




So there are still challenges, and procuring new additions to the collection won't end anytime soon. 
The hunt continues, and the question is mute. :nana: 

 Silly me, not a lame light to be found. Sorry to go so far off topic. 

~ Chance 

Addendum; Give me a whistle if you have one of these. ~


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## Chauncey Gardiner (Feb 27, 2017)

Haven't been touched in years. All found to be in good working order. Thread now back on track. 
~ Chance


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## bykfixer (Feb 27, 2017)

^^ Party on Wayne

This thread is going to cause this junkie to start a 'show your lame flashlight' thread in the collectors section.









And I was on such good behavior spending-wise.




Looks like the caped crusader uses a Maglite.


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## Need a Light? (Feb 27, 2017)

Probably my Convoy C8 that the emitter fell off of, being that it's nonoperational heh. 

But I'm firmly in the 'if it lights it's worth it' camp. I still love stock xenon minimags despite my better lights. And use a lot of pr bulbs in various maglites and other big c/d lights just for fun.


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## Offgridled (Feb 27, 2017)

This thread is great is all I can say


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## Chauncey Gardiner (Feb 27, 2017)

Offgridled said:


> This thread is great is all I can say



Wants us to believe he doesn't have one single lame flashlight. :tsk: Chance calls BS! 

~ CG :laughing:


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## Chauncey Gardiner (Feb 27, 2017)

bykfixer said:


> ^^ Party on Wayne



Party on Johny! Excellent post! :twothumbs 

~ Chance


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## Offgridled (Feb 27, 2017)

Chauncey Gardiner said:


> Wants us to believe he doesn't have one single lame flashlight. :tsk: Chance calls BS!
> 
> ~ CG :laughing:


Lol. It's just not a barbie issue


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## Barrington (Mar 4, 2017)

The first LED torch I ever bought was a cheap green plastic one from a box by the till at a hardware store. It takes three AAA batteries and has nine LED's which give out a feeble bluish light. But it does have one secret weapon! The green plastic is luminous!! This has kept it on my bedside table more or less ever since. (I think bedside table translates to nightstand in American!) This means that I can find it in the dark and the feeble light doesn't blind me when I switch it on. 

Barry


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## Hooked on Fenix (Mar 5, 2017)

I've already told about my lamest flashlights so I though I'd mention one I found. Here's the Green Lantern Flashlight (no, it's not a lantern): http://www.yuklon.com/green-lantern...lantern-flashlight-reflective-patch-ring.html


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## richbuff (Mar 5, 2017)

Offgridled said:


> This thread is great is all I can say


Some threads are born to greatness, other threads have greatness thrust upon them.


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## Lynx_Arc (Mar 5, 2017)

richbuff said:


> Some threads are born to greatness, other threads have greatness thrust upon them.



I agree, as too many "the greatest" threads out there with people who compete calling others "best".... lame. This thread calls others "lame"..... the best.


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## Offgridled (Mar 5, 2017)

Lynx_Arc said:


> I agree, as too many "the greatest" threads out there with people who compete calling others "best".... lame. This thread calls others "lame"..... the best.


Priceless!!!


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## Atlas1911 (Mar 6, 2017)

Cheap big box multipack incandescent flashlight. Puts out just enough light to find another flashlight.


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## bykfixer (Mar 6, 2017)

Lynx_Arc said:


> I agree, as too many "the greatest" threads out there with people who compete calling others "best".... lame. This thread calls others "lame"..... the best.



The irony is rich with rust. 

Get it? Iron? Rust? 
I'm here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

It's kinda like when the guy at the bar says "make my martini dry" so the bartender pours liquids into the glass...

So when a working flashlight is called lame quite the opposite is the case when it provides the light needed in darkness... even if it is just to find a brighter one.


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## smokinbasser (Mar 6, 2017)

The unmodified Mini Mag-light . they would be too weak no matter where you are or how dark it is.


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## rubanite (Mar 6, 2017)

I may have to change my first post. Any light with a battery cage is as lame as it can get. 

Couple years ago I bought a hunting flashlight from Bushnell. It's 1000ish lumens and has red light and blood tracking light. It's a solid light with one exception. This thing takes 9 aa alkaline batteries. The cage you put the batteries in is rediculous. It's nearly impossible to take the batteries out without a tool. 

At first I thought this was a "me problem" because I keep my fingernails very short. However, I've had others try to take the batteries out and they need a screwdriver as well.

I get it, from a non flashlight enthusiasts a strong light that only uses the ubiquitous aa is pretty cool. But it really is a pain.


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## bykfixer (Mar 6, 2017)

rubanite said:


> I may have to change my first post. Any light with a battery cage is as lame as it can get.
> 
> I get it, from a non flashlight enthusiasts a strong light that only uses the ubiquitous aa is pretty cool. But it really is a pain.



Yeah that constitutes as lame. If you cannot get the damthing working because some engineer was a bonehead... lame, lame, lame. 
May he be stuck with dead batteries someday, need a flashlight and that one is the only one he has... 
Kharma


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## badbs101 (Mar 6, 2017)

My daughter got a Batman flashlight for her birthday.


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## badbs101 (Mar 6, 2017)

Calling Batman







He never showed up..


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## ven (Mar 7, 2017)

That batman is pretty awesome tbh!!! very cool


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## Chauncey Gardiner (Mar 7, 2017)

ven said:


> That batman is pretty awesome tbh!!! very cool



Indeed! :thumbsup: 

~ CG


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## wjv (Mar 8, 2017)

Obviously this one
1) It's Incan - not a awesome LED
2) It's an Eveready
3) It's old (like 103 years) so the technology obviously sucks
4) It barely puts out any light. Maybe a couple lumen








But Seriously. . 

Truth is I've dumped most of older, less useful lights - Gave them away to various people.

Of those I still own, my least useful light is a Sunwayman R01A. (1xAAA) Blue beam. Barely has any throw.
Even then it still has an ok run time and would make a good pocket emergency light. (10 lumens for 8-11 hours)


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## zhongwangli (Mar 21, 2017)

Making flashlights


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## PocketLight88 (Mar 21, 2017)

I would have to say my mini mag, 15 years ago, it was great, now it disappoints me every time I turn it on thinking the batteries are dead. But it still works!


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## ven (Mar 21, 2017)

wjv said:


> Obviously this one
> 1) It's Incan - not a awesome LED
> 2) It's an Eveready
> 3) It's old (like 103 years) so the technology obviously sucks
> ...





That is a cool light, character and history that no doubt played a part in what we have today....................Should be saved for low light applications, in the night uses and just fun.


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## Senator (Mar 21, 2017)

wjv said:


> Obviously this one
> 1) It's Incan - not a awesome LED
> 2) It's an Eveready
> 3) It's old (like 103 years) so the technology obviously sucks
> ...



I think this is just proof that if you hold onto something long enough, it goes from lame back to cool again. 

Now...if I could only believe that will happen for the gazillion MagLites out there...


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## recDNA (Mar 21, 2017)

incandescent AAA maglite. Incandescent 2 x AA maglite


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## MidnightDistortions (Mar 25, 2017)

If you see this light walk away from it, the remaining stock should be tossed in the recycling bin,
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Generic-8158-Ozark-Trail-Aluminum-Flashlight-and-Headlamp-Combo/46337184

The Aluminum Flashlight was so cheap that i had to return a set and the second one the switch didn't want to function despite nothing looking wrong with it. I needed an LED light for work that put out at least 15 lumens and this light did work for a while but would randomly stop working, the rubber seal would not stay on and the switch kept falling out and i would spend more time trying to fix the darn thing then actually using it. Horrible, even for China it's ridiculously bad quality. Thanks to this light i ended up buying 5 more lights because i needed a new work light and i couldn't decide what i wanted and ended up getting a 45 lumen Mag solitare, Coast G25 and ended up buying the Mag XL50, a 100 lumen AAA Minimag and the Coast HP7. Thanks Walmart, your cheap $3 light cost me $110. Lame doesn't come to mind, more like complete crap of a light. The LED emitter was probably the only redeemable aspect for $3.

This light is also junk, https://www.walmart.com/ip/Rayovac-...-9-LED-Flashlight-with-Laser-Pointer/35840898 but it operates. Bought it for the laser and the laser is really dim, doesn't work well in lighted areas. Saw a better light with a laser at Lowes but i didn't buy it because i bought 5 others already lol.


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## ven (Mar 26, 2017)

Now that is a light binge mr distortions, you had not been reading any mr fixer posts before hand had you? We are not even in mad May yet


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## bykfixer (Mar 26, 2017)

How to un-lame a lame-o...


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## MidnightDistortions (Mar 26, 2017)

ven said:


> Now that is a light binge mr distortions, you had not been reading any mr fixer posts before hand had you? We are not even in mad May yet



You caught me red handed.  I bought 3 for work and the other two are for giggles and fun.


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## LED_Power_Forums (Mar 29, 2017)

Antykain said:


> Yes.. I still have one.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Ah ha ha ... I have the same light as well. Shake it and it'll become brighter but dim down once halt. Apparently it is powered by cr2032 inside but I have no way to disassemble it to change its battery. Seems like the whole plastic is being molded together. :duh2: Oh well.


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## joelbnyc (Apr 3, 2017)

Found this at my mom's house. Here, with some other lights.















And some beamshots. Yes, it's on. I think.


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## Offgridled (Apr 4, 2017)

[emoji106] on mom's light


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