# The Neverending story....



## DrAg0n (Jun 7, 2003)

Im getting bored....Tot i have some fun /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif....the idea here is that everyone trys to continue the story using one sentence in each post....lets see how imaginative you guys can get.....So here goes: 

*Once Upon a time, there was a man......*


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## RY3 (Jun 7, 2003)

...who love to tell story....


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## Wits' End (Jun 7, 2003)

..about a Dragon who was afraid of the dark....


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## DrAg0n (Jun 7, 2003)

...so he uses his firebreathing powers...


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## iddibhai (Jun 7, 2003)

...to light the entrance to a new dungeon he found...


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## Nerd (Jun 7, 2003)

.....another Dragon (fron Singapore) who really knows how to use bandwidth on CPF by posting stuff like this......

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/twak.gif


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## GeoffChan (Jun 7, 2003)

... That Dragon knew pages like this: http://us.imdb.com/Title?0088323 ...

Geoff


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## DrAg0n (Jun 7, 2003)

....but didnt really get what they ment...


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## Nerd (Jun 7, 2003)

...and so he tried very hard to continue the story that he started out with...


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## [email protected] (Jun 7, 2003)

....And he told him about a fabulous flashlight...


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## DrAg0n (Jun 7, 2003)

....A Surefire M6........


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## Rothrandir (Jun 8, 2003)

...that he used when he needed something brighter than his fire-breath...


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## Icebreak (Jun 8, 2003)

...ing Dragon's trainer owned to unlock the door to a wonderous world where a most elegant, fair and beautiful...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 8, 2003)

...woman holding an hid...


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## [email protected] (Jun 8, 2003)

...small enough to EDC...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 8, 2003)

...she said "would you care to go on an adventure with me?"...


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## hyeTotum (Jun 8, 2003)

"Why soitenly," leered the lacivious dragon Curly...


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## Icebreak (Jun 8, 2003)

...and with that the robust triad of story telling sojourners weilding swords of light did not feel the need to answer as they began to follow her as she walked, scantly clad in sheer silk and glistening with astounding beauty, aware of the dangers of her own world but assured that the legendary promise of this company was with her to help in the quest to free...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 8, 2003)

...a maiden, held by captive by the evil sir goncz...


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## iddibhai (Jun 8, 2003)

...hoarder of the source of all light, the mighty 123..


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## Icebreak (Jun 8, 2003)

...and though, supposedly having a great sword of light, needs to be vanquished because he finds too much comfort in his stockpile of power and too much pleasure in...


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## DrAg0n (Jun 8, 2003)

.....pushing the prices of high-end lights up by hording all the lights in the entire world for himself......


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## Rothrandir (Jun 8, 2003)

...and having the worst customer service and attitude imaginable..


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## DrAg0n (Jun 8, 2003)

....he gets sued by all the flashaloics in the entire world....


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## Pi_is_blue (Jun 8, 2003)

...for not believing that Pi is blue...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 9, 2003)

...he then stole the fair maiden sasha to anger the flashaholics. he took her to his secret lair (he claimes it's 1,600square feet but it's only 200)...


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## Greta (Jun 9, 2003)

ROTFLMAO!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif

... but Sasha is a cunning Serving Wench who carries something up her skirt for just such occasions...


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## Unforgiven (Jun 9, 2003)

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif 
And when he saw what was under Sasha's skirt, he froze in fear, then ran away! 
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/twak.gif


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## brightnorm (Jun 9, 2003)

...But he really shouldn't have, because....


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## Xrunner (Jun 9, 2003)

It's just not nice to see what's under anybody's skirt, let alone Sasha's!...


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## Icebreak (Jun 9, 2003)

...Now alone in the lair, with the facinating contents of her skirt still unfettered, she began to have thoughts of the two dragons and what might...


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## MR Bulk (Jun 9, 2003)

...but she finally awoke from this nightmare, and decided to go out and Get A Life!!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif


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## DrAg0n (Jun 9, 2003)

...however when she looked under her nightgown to check if her thing was still there.....


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## [email protected] (Jun 9, 2003)

...A new and bald plan took shape in her mind...


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## Icebreak (Jun 9, 2003)

...She reconsidered the "bald" plan and opted for a bold plan that could involve...


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## DrAg0n (Jun 9, 2003)

....the use of a large....


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## Xrunner (Jun 9, 2003)

Surefire Beast! Now if only she had...


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## [email protected] (Jun 9, 2003)

a dictionary... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif


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## Greta (Jun 9, 2003)

... a lanyard!...


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## Icebreak (Jun 9, 2003)

...Unaware of the troop of light wielding rescuers and the two dragons being lead by *Lady Lara*; fair maiden *Sasha* took her M6, her dictionary and lanyard (that she did not use for strangling purposes)and set about to enact her bold plan which would first entail...


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## d'mo (Jun 9, 2003)

... the smiting of those who would poo-poo the "story that doesn't end" throught the means of....


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## TrevorNasko (Jun 9, 2003)

...stubbornly making that next step. so she lifted the beast and pressed the tail switch. but to her horror and dismay - it would not light because....


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## Greta (Jun 9, 2003)

... her faithful assistant, Saaby, forgot to put fresh batteries in it!!!


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## Lighthouse (Jun 9, 2003)

... saying nothing, she swung her blender to and fro by it's cord and impatiently tapped her foot while ... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jpshakehead.gif


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## Icebreak (Jun 9, 2003)

...the stalwart * Sir Saaby *, defeator of darkness, mounted his mighty steed and charged into the night to trounce the power cell steeling menions of GONK and as he rode he thought,"...


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## Greta (Jun 9, 2003)

... "Man, is she gonna kick my ***.... "...


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## MR Bulk (Jun 9, 2003)

..."with her _WHIP_...", so he quickly dismounted his steed and got into his Saab instead, in order to protect his nether regions...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 9, 2003)

...he drove off into the sunset, with sashas batteries in his pocket...


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## Greta (Jun 9, 2003)

... or was it a pickle?


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## Unforgiven (Jun 9, 2003)

But what he did not know is Sasha's whip was attached to the bumper and... 
(batteries in his pickle!?) /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif


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## Icebreak (Jun 9, 2003)

...the Swedish sports car had no choice other than to spin out of control and crash wildley so, in the dusty aftermath emerged Saaby, listening intentley; he heard the call of a light fearing dragon assending only to bow its'neck and offer firey mouthed, winged transportation and in this moment Saaby took reigns in right hand, pickle in left hand, to fly, dragon-mounted, to...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 9, 2003)

...middle-earth...


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## DrAg0n (Jun 9, 2003)

however after months of non-stop flying....


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## Pi_is_blue (Jun 10, 2003)

he was so tired of sitting that he jumped off...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 10, 2003)

...and landed in mordor...


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## Pi_is_blue (Jun 10, 2003)

in the land of Mordor, where the shadows lie, he met Gollum...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 10, 2003)

...who was looking in nook and cranny for a deep fried and breaded onion...


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## Pi_is_blue (Jun 10, 2003)

...which was his precious...


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## DrAg0n (Jun 10, 2003)

....so he stopped by the nearest 7-eleven....


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## Xrunner (Jun 10, 2003)

...and upon finding that the Slurpee machine was broken...


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## Pi_is_blue (Jun 10, 2003)

...and went off in a fit of rage to destroy the one who broke his precious Slurpee machine...


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## BuddTX (Jun 10, 2003)

But, what Sasha did not know, that she COULD NOT KNOW, was that the Slurpee machine HAD TO BE BROKEN, as this is what the ancient scrolls prophisied . . .


(I wanna hear more about the BALD thing hidden in Sasha's skirt!!)

Hey, I didn't write this, yall did!


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## Pi_is_blue (Jun 10, 2003)

The ancient scrolls also demanded that a Surefire M6 be sacrificed...


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## flownosaj (Jun 10, 2003)

...as well as a virgin. But, where to find one?...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 10, 2003)

...saaby raises his hand...


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## Tombeis (Jun 10, 2003)

and says, I know a virgin. Well BuddTX is almost one! and,


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## Unforgiven (Jun 10, 2003)

abruptly designates rothrandir as the sacrifice....


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## DrAg0n (Jun 11, 2003)

...therefore, unable to decide who is to be sacrificed, all of them; Sasha, BuddTx, Saaby, rothrandir and a poor little M6 were dragged off........


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## Tombeis (Jun 11, 2003)

to the rim of the volcano where...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 11, 2003)

...the fabled union ring was to be destroyed (along with unf)...


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## DrAg0n (Jun 11, 2003)

...for added bombastic effect, they were all strapped with fireworks and C4......


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## d'mo (Jun 11, 2003)

...BOOM!...


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## kimchikungfu (Jun 11, 2003)

However, our hero having fled so hastily, he failed to learn that Lady Sasha's skirt hid the greatest flashlight secret of all...


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## DrAg0n (Jun 11, 2003)

....the Mysterious bald thinggy.....


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## d'mo (Jun 11, 2003)

... which turned out to be...


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## DrAg0n (Jun 11, 2003)

....something extremely unexpected......


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## BuddTX (Jun 11, 2003)

So, seconds before the ledge that we were standing on gave way, and the 4 of us (and the M6) would fall into the Volcano and be vaporised, Sasha politely lifts her skirt, and pulls out the mysterious BALD THINGEY, and Low and Behold, it is BRUCE WILLIS (strangly smiling, considering the danger he is in!), hidden in Sasha's skirt, and HE HAS A PLAN to get us out of the Volcano, and bring justice to the evil doers that put us there. . . 

(I just had to add a little something!)


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## Greta (Jun 11, 2003)

... and now we all know why Sasha always has a smile on her face... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif


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## BuddTX (Jun 11, 2003)

And Sasha says, "Bruce, Wipe that S--T eating grin off of your face, and rescue us! So Bruce Willis calls in, via remote controll, his Michalango created flying machine that he saved from the movie, HUDSON HAWK, and it flies in, and swoops us away from the Volcano, only seconds before the ledge crumbles, but, the fabled M6 falls into the Volcano, while turned on (The M6, NOT Sasha!) thus forfilling the prophisy written in the ancient scrolls, "light travels downward", and this can only mean one thing (as they fly away, singing the Bing Crosby childrens song, "Or would you rather be a fish . . .) . . .


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## Tombeis (Jun 11, 2003)

then suddenly, they are confronted by a angry Frank Sinatra who was the real singer of,"Or would you rather be a fish. 

Frank said...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 11, 2003)

..."you want to be a fish?!" with that, he pointed his magic wand at them, and they were dumb basses...


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## BuddTX (Jun 11, 2003)

Meanwhile, back at the top secret intergalactic flashlight modifiation labortory, Superhero Mr. Bulk, gets a frantic call on the hotline phone, from a very frantic, green haired Commishiner Craig, begging Mr. Bulk to ue-unite with his other Super Heros, and defend the world aganst . . .


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## Rothrandir (Jun 11, 2003)

...the mad scientist ginseng, who creates flashlights from anything and everything...


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## BuddTX (Jun 11, 2003)

NOT PART OF THE STORY

Well Neither Frank Sinatra OR Bing Crosby wrote "Swing on a Star!"

Swinging On A Star 
- words by Johnny Burke, music by Jimmy Van Huesen

BUT both Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra did perform it!

----------------
Would you like to swing on a star, 
Carry moonbeams home in a jar, 
And be better off than you are, 
Or would you rather be a mule? 

A mule is an animal with long funny ears 
Kicks up at anything he hears 
His back is brawny but his brain is weak 
He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak 
And by the way, if you hate to go to school 
You may grow up to be a mule 

Or would you like to swing on a star, 
Carry moonbeams home in a jar, 
And be better off than you are, 
Or would you rather be a pig? 

A pig is an animal with dirt on his face 
His shoes are a terrible disgrace 
He has no manners when he eats his food 
He's fat and lazy and extremely rude 
But if you don't care a feather or a fig 
You may grow up to be a pig 

Or would you like to swing on a star, 
Carry moonbeams home in a jar, 
And be better off than you are, 
Or would you rather be a fish? 

A fish won't do anything, but swim in a brook 
He can't write his name or read a book 
To fool the people is his only thought 
And though he's slippery, he still gets caught 
But then if that sort of life is what you wish 
You may grow up to be a fish 

A new kind of jumped-up slippery fish 

And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo 
Every day you meet quite a few 
So you see it's all up to you 
You can be better than you are 
You could be swingin' on a star 
---------------
RESUME THE STORY!


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## BuddTX (Jun 11, 2003)

"Great Caesar's Ghost!", yells Commishiner Craig, I thought my Green Haired Face has seen everything, But, Dammin man, Ginising is taking natural herbs and using them in the most un-natural way, it's almost unspeakable, but he is taking the herbs, and using them to . . .


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## Greta (Jun 11, 2003)

... make Bruce Willis' bald head so shiney that...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 11, 2003)

...wherever sasha walks, her lower body shines like the moon...


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## BuddTX (Jun 11, 2003)

Craig tries to stiffle a laugh, then continues, "Heavens to Mergutroy, Mr. Bulk, if Evil Ginsing can make Sasha's lower body shine like the moon, soon, he will be able to do that to EVERONE, then the WORLD WILL NEVER NEED FLASHLIGHTS! Heavens to Betsy, Mr. Bulk, what in God's Green Earth are we going to do? Mr. Bulk Slowly answers, "Way ahead of you Commish, SuperHeros McGizmo and dat2zip and Electrolumens and Hotfoot all have an unlimited amount of beer and 1 dollar bills that we can continue to stuff down Sasha's (muffled noises in the background), OH, WAIT, That was the other plan, YES, Commishner, we do have a plan to un-shine the Bruce Willis/Sasha Lower Body shine by taking our flashlights and . . .


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## BuddTX (Jun 11, 2003)

(Wait a minute, I thought that Sasha, BuddTX, Saby and Bruce Willis were turned into Fish. How'd we get outa that one?)

(I did notice that Sasha did bring back the Bruce Willis hidden under the skirt very nicely!)


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## Rothrandir (Jun 11, 2003)

...melting his skull with the combined power of three! a 50w irc mod, a megaray hid, and a small 123!...


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## [email protected] (Jun 11, 2003)

McGizmo slowly exhaled, and announced: ...


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## Greta (Jun 11, 2003)

... Sasha shreaks in horror!! "Watch it with that melting stuff under my skirts there, you guys!!"... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif


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## Greta (Jun 11, 2003)

<font color="red"> {{{NOT PART OF STORY}}}

You guys, I am diein' here!!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif I can't tell you all how many times I have just laughed out loud while reading this!! You guys are awesome!!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif

{{{RESUME STORY}}} </font>


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## BuddTX (Jun 11, 2003)

McGizmo slowly exhaled, and announced: ...

Holy S--T, I almost melted Sasha's . . .


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## BuddTX (Jun 11, 2003)

Before anyone could say anything, from out of nowhere, a still youthful, X-Agent 99, Don Adams (Maxwell Smart) appeared and exclaimed, " . . .Missed it by THAT much!"


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## Icebreak (Jun 11, 2003)

...Then the wise and creative McGizmo exhales again. With the prespective look of the great Mentor he is he speaks, "Most of you will not understand what I'm about to say. Heck, most of you never understand what I'm saying; and for that matter I think sometimes I don't understand what I'm saying, but here's the deal: ...


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## Unforgiven (Jun 11, 2003)

.


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## [email protected] (Jun 11, 2003)

And he proceeded,
coherent I'm not, but sence I make... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
Thankfully the bald one was shielded...


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## logicnerd411 (Jun 11, 2003)

...and then we all went to Starbucks to lounge and drink coffee...

Dan


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## BuddTX (Jun 11, 2003)

but here's the deal . . .
You win some, you loose some, and sometimes it rains! 

Now, someone go throw a bucket of Ice on Sasha's Steaming, hissing, smouldering Bald Thing, and lets go and get us some BAD GINSING!!!!


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## Darell (Jun 11, 2003)

And back to the dot that Don was attempting to describe (as brought up by Unforgiven) - I think that with an inverted half-sphere viewed through an AR-coated Pyrex lens ground down to fit in a prototype McLux Turbo head - one can clearly make out the inscription on the dot: "Bald fish lost in skirt - something is fishy"

Armed with that information our fearless, herb-high fish began...


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## Graham (Jun 11, 2003)

Knowing all that is fishy is not necessarily fish, the all-knowing, ever-seeing, sometime beer-drinking, occasionally burping McGizmo rose, and reaching into his ornate yet sturdily engineered titanium case, said,
"Excuse me while I whip this out..."


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## BuddTX (Jun 11, 2003)

While our superheros are traveling at to take on the evil doer, BAD GINSING, They discuss the the Sasha incident: You know, Mr. Bulk tells McGizmo, if your HEAT SINK would have been bigger, Sasha's Bald Thingey would not have gotten so hot! Small talk now stops, as they all pass by a strip bar, er, I mean, as they get close to where evil BAD GINSING is . . .


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## Icebreak (Jun 11, 2003)

...but before taking action they remembered what others had said. So they flop wildly after being schooled by the incredibly intelligent darell. They instinctively used this knowledge to try to fathom what might be fishy, yet not fish and try to recognize what was "whipped out" by the mentally majestic McGizmo. They then toasted BuddTX's insights and agreed that if one "." had that much understanding in it they should precede and succeed everything they did with three ".s".

With all these things in mind someone pointed out...


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## Greta (Jun 11, 2003)

... but wait!! Who was that sitting in the nudey bar? BuddTX takes a few steps back and peers into the darkness... it's... it's... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif


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## Unforgiven (Jun 11, 2003)

the man who makes the finest LS in the buisness.... its..... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/huh.gif


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## [email protected] (Jun 11, 2003)

Sir Peter! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif


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## Greta (Jun 11, 2003)

... in the nudey bar!! And there's the virgin Saaby sitting next to him... and what is that he's doing with that Arc AAA?!?!?


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## Icebreak (Jun 11, 2003)

...It could be that he's the detail rendering beam of the ARC AAA light to...


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## BuddTX (Jun 11, 2003)

BuddTX, fumbles to find his glasses, and tells the waitress to hold his 9 dollar Beer for a second while he puts his, er, ahem, glasses back on, and grabs Saby's light (NOT his AAA however, he appears to be busy with that light, I think he is polishing it!), and sees WHAT!!! None other than SASHA doing some kind of gymnastic event on the center stage poll . . .


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## Unforgiven (Jun 11, 2003)

and to his surprise, another strange glow emerges from beneath her skirt!


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## Tombeis (Jun 11, 2003)

Back at he local watering hole, ( in Texas that's what they call a bar.) BuddTX says " Gimme a GIN,and SING my favorite song Frank." The bartender says...


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## Darell (Jun 11, 2003)

... "one GIN-SING for the Budd in the hole please!"

Meanwhile, Saaby is still off in the corner trying to wear the knurling off his Arc when suddenly more dots appear...


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## DrAg0n (Jun 12, 2003)

...However, these dots were not ordinary dots! They were huge yellow puss filled dots appearing all over on everyone watching Sasha doing her thing on the centre stage....


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## BuddTX (Jun 12, 2003)

BUT, unbeknownst to the casual druken observer, Sasha was not just EYE CANDY, Sasha was actually working undercover, Moonlighting with Bruce Willis trying to discover why quality controll was sooo poor at Lumileds, and why they are producing soo many **** green luxeon stars, and they traced the problem down to this bar, where a senior engineering Lumiled person seems to frequent, but who? Is it one of the customers, a male, or one of the "entertainers", maybe a female engineer. So their next move is to . . .


(anyone catch that moonlighting reference?)


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## DieselDave (Jun 12, 2003)

strip search all the dancers until Saaby in his infinite wisdom points out they are already stripped. BuddTX then shouts with glee, "Let's start the search then" Sasha runs from the stage crying, no one but her knows the real reason for her outburst was utter disappointment in knowing she didn't make enough tip money to replace the M6 she dropped in the volcano. Saaby is still doe eyed and out of breath when they decide to leave and get their festering sores...


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## BuddTX (Jun 12, 2003)

. . .Looked at by a Dr, as they had been dropped into a Volcano, then turned into a fish or something like that, and then mysteriously re-appeared in their normal drunken habatat. But on their way to the Dr. They saw somthing that "shocked and awed" them so much, that they realised at once, that the future of all flashoholics would pivot on this pending event . . .


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## Icebreak (Jun 12, 2003)

...Radio Dano 






and his partner, a Cybil Shepard look-a-like 







to arrest the entire staff so BuddTX


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## Tombeis (Jun 12, 2003)

[ QUOTE ]
*Darell said:*
... "one GIN-SING for the Budd in the hole please!"

Meanwhile, Saaby is still off in the corner trying to wear the knurling off his Arc when suddenly more dots appear... 

[/ QUOTE ]

UNBELIEVEABLE!

But, understandable considering what is about to happen...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 12, 2003)

...our hero's find a mysterious letter taped to their hid headlights, it read "one for the money, two for the show...the culprit is ginseng!"...


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## Unforgiven (Jun 12, 2003)

Then their HID lights blow.....


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## DrAg0n (Jun 12, 2003)

....plundging them into eternal darkness, giving Count Dracula the chance to rise.....


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## Kristofg (Jun 12, 2003)

Whilst bumping his head against the lid because faithful Igor has once again forgotten to remove the padlock from the side which keeps unwanted visitors with sharp stakes out. Count Dracula calls Igor on the intercom and says...


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## d'mo (Jun 12, 2003)

Blah! Igor! You brick, Blah! Let me out, blah, or I'll... I'll, Blah. Dang it, Igor, just let me out, blah, so I can... Blah....


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## Unforgiven (Jun 12, 2003)

get this Blah out of my mouth and put out the light comming from Wench Sasha!


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## DrAg0n (Jun 12, 2003)

....upon hearing that, Sabby cries out to everyone..."hurry get out your flashlights before he opens that darn coffin!!! We must defend ourselves!!"....


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## d'mo (Jun 12, 2003)

.. Igor, the brick that he is, rushes to the coffin, unkeys the lock and throws open the lid, Blah!!!!...


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## Darell (Jun 12, 2003)

Chapter 2: Saaby and Dot go to Market.

It was a bright an cheerful day as Saaby walked Dot down the shade-speckled...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 12, 2003)

..sidewalk...


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## Greta (Jun 12, 2003)

...lined with...


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## [email protected] (Jun 12, 2003)

...Flashlightstores!... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif


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## Tombeis (Jun 12, 2003)

This is really cool, cried Saaby! Flashlight stores everywhere. But...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 12, 2003)

...they only sell imax projector bulbs in mag solitare bodies, and i want a normal mag solitare!!...


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## Tombeis (Jun 12, 2003)

is not my idea of a flashlight store...


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## Greta (Jun 12, 2003)

... dot lifts it's leg on the projector bulbs...


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## [email protected] (Jun 12, 2003)

Stop! Cried Saaby, wait! We might be able to use...


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## Unforgiven (Jun 12, 2003)

my battery powered pickle with fresh 123a batteries (Surefire) to extract...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 12, 2003)

...the m6 from mt. doom...


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## Tombeis (Jun 12, 2003)

Meanwhile back at Mt. Doom. Bubble, bubble, toil and the M6 is in trouble.


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## Darell (Jun 13, 2003)

Hearing the call of the distressed M6, Saaby remembered that there really WAS a urine-activated flashlight discussed on CPF. Reaching down with his strong hands, he squeezed Dot a bit harder until the stream...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 13, 2003)

...issued forth from _somewhere_, the saab wasn't able to tell for sure, he did remember thinking "wow, this reminds me of darell!"...


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## Kristofg (Jun 13, 2003)

... His luxeon star had the same color. But at the same time, unknown to our heroes, in a village far away...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 13, 2003)

...rothrandir was working on a heatsink to cool the volcano enough to extract the holy m6...


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## Kristofg (Jun 13, 2003)

...His first attempts having made their name come true. THey had gotten hot and sunk into the depths of the volcano. His latest model would compensate for all this by...


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 13, 2003)

... utilizing the annual migration of the rare and fabulous Iron butterflies, if he could, perhaps by the use of pheromones, coax a few thousand of them to ...


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## Silviron (Jun 13, 2003)

Sing In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, Because....


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 13, 2003)

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ohgeez.gif ...... 


/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/popcorn.gif


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 13, 2003)

...they did have beautiful singing voices whose sound could only be likened to that of the spheres.. plus the butterflies had ability to conduct heat, aaand fly, soooo... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/poke2.gif


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## Kristofg (Jun 13, 2003)

...They would make excellent bait for the phoenix which would rise from the ashes of the volcano and...


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## DrAg0n (Jun 13, 2003)

...destroy the sun and all the light producing bulbs in the entire world so that it could charge the governments of the entire world for heat and light....


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## Greta (Jun 13, 2003)

[ QUOTE ]
*Silviron said:*
Sing In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, Because.... 

[/ QUOTE ]

<font color="red">ROTFLMAO!! ... I was thinking the *same exact* thing!!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif 

~RESUME STORY~</font>


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## Greta (Jun 13, 2003)

<font color="purple">Silviron... go HERE

RESUME STORY from: </font> 

...destroy the sun and all the light producing bulbs in the entire world so that it could charge the governments of the entire world for heat and light....


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## Kristofg (Jun 13, 2003)

..At the moderate rate of a sacrifical virgin every full moon...


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## Tombeis (Jun 13, 2003)

and thus began the excruciating task of searching for twelve virgin's to fill the first year's order. Sabby, an expert on these matters said...


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## Greta (Jun 13, 2003)

... "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida Baby... Get these freakin' iron butterflies off of me!!! I have 11 virgins to find!!"...


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## [email protected] (Jun 13, 2003)

Then he realized that if he could find a 12th victim /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ohgeez.gif *virgin* /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif ,he could stay around to get the following year's quotum... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
Surely his expertize would be appreciated...


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## Unforgiven (Jun 13, 2003)

Sasha, realizing she was safe from sacrafice, helped Saaby find the other virgins. 
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif


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## Icebreak (Jun 13, 2003)

...and so it was said, and so it was written; the callous pawed Saaby would find, without regard to the approaching duo of dragons, 11 virgins in the world of CandlePower. He asked for nominees. They included...


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## [email protected] (Jun 13, 2003)

Rothrandir and LogicNerd, two faithful companions...


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## jtice (Jun 13, 2003)

Roth,, a great and trusted "weapons" maker, grabbed up his....


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## Unforgiven (Jun 13, 2003)

magical heat sinking copper shield and a handfull of black dots, then he raised his head and saw...


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## Saaby (Jun 14, 2003)

...A Volvo. With Saab crashed Roth saw a Volvo V70 approaching, Saaby driving with dot in back...


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## Unforgiven (Jun 14, 2003)

pocket, noticed several virgins in the middle of the road, swerved, grazing 3 of them while driving on 2 wheels, he then.......


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## Tombeis (Jun 14, 2003)

jumped out of the car and ravished them all on the spot. "Virgin smergin," Saaby said. "Who can tell the difference." He piled them all in the Volvo and...


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## hotfoot (Jun 14, 2003)

... proceeded to begin a long in-car lecture on the virtues of protection, family-planning and Swedish cars. After thoroughly educating them, he whipped out his *enormous*...


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## flownosaj (Jun 14, 2003)

McLux with 3-123 cells and 5watt W3V led. He then proceded to demonstrate how to...


-Jason


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## McGizmo (Jun 14, 2003)

.............................. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif


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## hotfoot (Jun 14, 2003)

... clean up the mess that McGizmo just barfed up in the back seat. With a shrug and a smile, he looked the virgins in the eye and said,...


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## flownosaj (Jun 14, 2003)

You're actually supposed to hit the evil sir goncz with this. It's a magical light that...


-Jason


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## Rothrandir (Jun 15, 2003)

...will cause him to be honest and cause him to create products that work at least 10% as well as advertised...


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## Unforgiven (Jun 15, 2003)

But Saavy Saaby knew this couldn't happen so he put his foot to the floor, and to his surprise...


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## McGizmo (Jun 15, 2003)

.......................... oops /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif


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## McGizmo (Jun 15, 2003)

And yet, in a parallel universe where time was slow and folks typed one key at a time, missing their chance to partake, a worm hole became aroused and active, seeking the warmth and energy of...


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## Saaby (Jun 15, 2003)

...a worm hole became aroused and active, seeking the warmth and energy that only 123s shorting themselves out in pockets can provide...


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## Greta (Jun 15, 2003)

... or was that a pickle? ...


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## Unforgiven (Jun 15, 2003)

So Saaby grabbed hold of his shorted out pickle and disappeared through the wormhole with virgins in tow......


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## Tombeis (Jun 15, 2003)

only to show up under Sasha's skirt with three virgins in tow and the "bald thing" staring him in the face. Holy smoke said Saaby the "bald thing"...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 15, 2003)

..."hmmm...what do i do now?" saaby thought...


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## Saaby (Jun 15, 2003)

..he nervously clicked the buttons on the Swedish keyless entry but that did nothing so he...


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## tattoou2 (Jun 15, 2003)

started sending "SOS" signals on his trusty Eternalight until...


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## Unforgiven (Jun 15, 2003)

dots started appearing on the bald thing ....


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## Rothrandir (Jun 15, 2003)

...it began opening and closing like a giant mouth...


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## tattoou2 (Jun 15, 2003)

almost rhythmically...slowly at first and then increasing its tempo to the sound of a song playing in the background...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 15, 2003)

...face to face with the giant maw, saaby thought it might be hungery... "hmm...maybe i should feed it my pickle..." he thought...


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## McGizmo (Jun 15, 2003)

but then nothing, even the bald thing, would be inclined to eat to the tune of In-a-goda-da-vida so Saaby quickly passed out some dots to the virgins and they proceeded to..


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## hotfoot (Jun 15, 2003)

... gyrate wildly and belt out old BoneyM and Abba tunes in acapella. Under this duress, it wasn't long before the embattled bald thing...


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## Greta (Jun 15, 2003)

... shouted "Yippee-Ki-Yay Motherf....!" and ran off into the night with two of the virgins...


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## McGizmo (Jun 15, 2003)

In the presence of the bald thing the two virgins were soon bald; defrocked as it were, but back to the never ending story, Saaby was finally able to..


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## Unforgiven (Jun 15, 2003)

Call for the Beast!


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## DrAg0n (Jun 15, 2003)

...on his cell phone....


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## McGizmo (Jun 15, 2003)

But drat, the circuits were busy..but wait, back lit by a strange glow and walking towards him was none other than PK with his infamous urban assault weapon...


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 15, 2003)

... where he listened to music while on hold; oddly enough it was "Wild Thing" which he sang along with (substituting the words "bald thing" for "wild thing") -- and keeping rhythm with his pickle...


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## flownosaj (Jun 15, 2003)

PK watched in amazement as Sabby sang and spun his pickle 'round and 'round. Sabby, who to this point was unaware that PK was watching, was shocked to have an audience. He dropped his pickle on the ground and PK...




-Jason


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## Rothrandir (Jun 15, 2003)

...said "oh my..."...


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## Tombeis (Jun 15, 2003)

you need a new M6 to replace that pickle you have been playing with. Here, take this one and...


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## [email protected] (Jun 16, 2003)

Saaby cried; "will it have enough power though, this ain't no Beast..." /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif


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## reddwarf (Jun 16, 2003)

...And,my search for the perfect light will never cease...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 16, 2003)

...because...


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## FalconFX (Jun 16, 2003)

...It needs to melt the sun and...


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## Kristofg (Jun 16, 2003)

...yet be small enough to carry it in my pocket without exposing me to lethal radiation because...


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## reddwarf (Jun 16, 2003)

..In my pocket is a rocket I should not release...because..


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## reddwarf (Jun 16, 2003)

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif


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## Rothrandir (Jun 16, 2003)

...i said so, and because...


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## [email protected] (Jun 16, 2003)

I'm clueless as to what is going to happen then... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif


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## MenaceSQL (Jun 16, 2003)

tried looking for any information that could be printed on the rocket. Finding no traces of any information at all on the rocket, I take a smoke break. As the I fired the lighter, I remembered that I don't even smoke. The fuse on the rocket suddenly lit up...


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## Kristofg (Jun 16, 2003)

...The smell of fear was in the air. This was a rocket able to take his head off and it was now destined to doing so. What was the first rule to do in a situation like this again? Don't inhale came to mind, but would that apply for rockets as well?...


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 16, 2003)

quite probably..but was that really the smell of fear? Saaby closed his eyes and took a deep breath when suddenly from within his young bowels issued a cloud of gas so flammable it immediately ignited when it reached the burning fuse in his pocket..a great explosion ensued, and like a Red Adair oil well, the flaming fuse, starved for oxygen, snuffed itself out.. 
..only a tendril of curling smoke issued from Saaby's pocket, which now lay on the ground along with other pieces of Saaby's tattered exploded shorts..


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## McGizmo (Jun 16, 2003)

Fortunately, Saaby was wearing some fire retardant GID speedos which protected the jewels from 3 deg burns but the look on PK's face as he shook his head was a fire of another kind......


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## Saaby (Jun 16, 2003)

...Nomex GID Speedos in fact. The type of Nomex Speedos required to be a site admin...


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## McGizmo (Jun 16, 2003)

Ah, yes but we digress....... meanwhile, back to the story, Sasha had just received an urgent E-mail on her palm pilot requesting immediate asistance with....


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## Greta (Jun 16, 2003)

... the virgins! It would seem that the dots have attacked the virgins and ...


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## McGizmo (Jun 16, 2003)

well, if the virgins are game and desirable, interested in a cheap and superficial, likely meaningless and short lived tryst, their status can be irrevocably altered; the question remains if this alteration will change the dot's interest but I do digress.......... back to the plot at hand.... The virgins have been forced by the attack into...........


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## x-ray (Jun 16, 2003)

...hiding in a very dark and scary place...


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## Unforgiven (Jun 16, 2003)

Frightened, they all put on their custom head gear (Designed in part by Darell: inverted half-sphere viewed through an AR-coated Pyrex lens ground down to fit in a prototype McLux Turbo head) which fits over one eye, so they can see to use their electric pickle with their other... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif


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## McGizmo (Jun 16, 2003)

appendage; where the plan had been to use a Goncz M3 but seemingly lost in shipment, the current alternate was in place and this allowed the virgins to overcome their plight with the dots, rendering some of them into broken dashes and all the while using the electric pickles to stimulate their........


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## kimchikungfu (Jun 16, 2003)

At the same time, and with a swoosch just loud enough to grab Saaby's attention from where he had been sitting counting the threads on the E2e he had managed to steal from Sasha in the confusion that followed after his shorts exploded, the Australian ABBA impersonators Bjorn Again appeared out of the trunk of Saaby's car. Startled, Saaby looked up. "You are the Dancing Queen", Bjorn Again said to Saaby in unison. And with that they too exploded. Roth, who had returned from another failed attempt to hook up with the three electric virgins just in time to witness this event, fell to his knees and...


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## Icebreak (Jun 16, 2003)

...holding an electric pickle defensively proclaimed, "Yes, I hit on kimchikungfu before I knew he was actually Lars Rocket, and yes I kinda like ABBA but I will not be anyone's 'Dancing Queen'. I just want all four worlds to understand that Saaby and I only want the virgins to ..."


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## Saaby (Jun 16, 2003)

..But he couldn't complete the sentence. The virgins broke into song, interruping him. "Gimme gimee gimme a man before midnight...


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## Greta (Jun 16, 2003)

... and suddenly DavidW screeches up in his little red car, lifts his shades and one eyebrow and says to the virgins... "you called?"... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif


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## DavidW (Jun 16, 2003)

...wait! You're 'virgins'? Ewww... *speeds off towards Orlando*


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## Unforgiven (Jun 16, 2003)

With that, the virgins see their chance to escape and hop on their magical electric pickles and give chase with dots right behind them...


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## Icebreak (Jun 16, 2003)

...The camera then zooms in on the handsome, shade wearing DavidW, flying along flat asphalt roads in his little red Daytona Ferrari because...


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## Greta (Jun 16, 2003)

... even though he has tried to escape this story, he can't. It's like a black hole... (and a bald thingy)... once you get sucked in, you can never get out... and the strains of Ina-Godda-da-vida ring on and on...


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## Saaby (Jun 17, 2003)

..through David's car stereo...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 17, 2003)

...he hears strange noises as he's driving down the road. he stops at a local gay bar, and starts his search. a short while and a couple tropical breezers later, he finds the long-haired elf "orlando! i've been looking all over for you! you're way better than virgins!"...


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 17, 2003)

"....mmm...good impact in the bass," Saaby leaned in towards DavidW's car speakers, "the kick drum must have been miked with it's own condenser..." the wind picked up just then and whipped a bunch of opened mail from the car seat up into the air, and cash of all denominations came flying out of the envelopes, "Hey! I thought you were supposed to be using those cash contributions to pay for bandwidth at CPF, and here you are splurging it all keeping your Ferarri gassed!..." Saaby exclaimed indignantly.
"Oh yeah? " DavidW said, "..well, looks like excess gas is gonna save your butt more than once today!" and with that he


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 17, 2003)

(oops)


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## Kristofg (Jun 17, 2003)

...But meanwhile, on a pickle not far away...


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## Saaby (Jun 17, 2003)

...knowing that a battle over Ferarri gas was under way Darell's EV Soapbox circut kicked in and just moments later...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 17, 2003)

...*boom* a dead llama landed in the smack center of the whitehouse garden...


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## Sigman (Jun 17, 2003)

after the Bat Signal appeared in the sky...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 17, 2003)

...us hero's heard a large explosion in souther tokyo...


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## hotfoot (Jun 17, 2003)

...which was the sound of The Beast, who had awoken and decided to take...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 17, 2003)

...a large poo on a local coconut factory...


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## hotfoot (Jun 17, 2003)

... right smack where they packed the famous coconut jam they made. Wondering what to do with this "special" batch of jam now,a genius in the factory came up with the idea of a Limited Edition Coconut Jam - the McCoco LE. Marketing jumped on the idea and the jam sold like hot cakes. Funnily enought, the first customers for this jam were the virgins, who...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 17, 2003)

...used the funky smell to scare away saaby, who was relentlessly pursuing them...


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## Nerd (Jun 17, 2003)

.....until DavidW caught up with Saaby, stuffed him into his little red car's little boot, and speed away. But when he caught the smell of the coconut jam......


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## [email protected] (Jun 17, 2003)

And hit the brakes so hard that...


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## Kristofg (Jun 17, 2003)

...Saaby was propelled trough the backseat and ended up on the front window in a crumpled state. He straightened himself out and said :..


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## McGizmo (Jun 17, 2003)

All I see is dots and all I hear is some monotonous music that sounds like something from the 60's, but wait my vision is clearing and what's that.....


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## Greta (Jun 17, 2003)

... it's... it's... THE BEAST!!




... and Saaby vaguely wonders...


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## DrAg0n (Jun 17, 2003)

...oh no its time to sacrifice...but wait...How do i make sure that they are Virgins?....how am i supposed to make sure?...he thought to himself...


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## Sigman (Jun 17, 2003)

so he whipped out his trusty multimeter with the special probes that were designed for such occasions, however...


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## McGizmo (Jun 17, 2003)

he recalled in the owner's manual that without a specific shunt, an accessory he never got, testing of certain active non-virgin types could destroy the multimeter and then he would be in a real pickle; dots and sexual inuendo aside - stuck in some disjoint neverending story as it were- so the meter was put back and a quick cell call to........


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 17, 2003)

...TedtheLed who told him to try asking if either of them were ever married.
Saaby asked the first virgin if she had ever been married. She replied that she had divorced ten husbands.
"Then how could you possibly still be a virgin?" Saaby daydreamed. 
She then explained; 
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be. 
"Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. 
"Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. 
"Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. 
"Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. 
"Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. 
"Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. 
"Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it. 
"Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it. 
"Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him! 

"That TedtheLed sure is full of good advice," Saaby thought to himself. He then turned to the virgin and said ; "Mmmmmm, I see, that is an unfortunate story, maam, but perhaps your luck is about to change... "


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## reddwarf (Jun 17, 2003)

...then his mind slipped 180 degrees out of reality,dreams of his newest invention"The Plasmatic Terd Inverter" passed loudly through his virgin laden mind,in the background of this cerebral hellstorm could be heard Robbie Robinson's sleeper hit"Somewhere down the crazy river" and then...


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## Saaby (Jun 17, 2003)

...without warning...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 18, 2003)

...the moon exploded into trillions of tiney shards...


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## Darell (Jun 18, 2003)

...which Darell was able to view from his dark perch atop a knoll in the middle of gold country, CA. Each shard held a new meaning for the introspective Darell. "Hmm, I see Don in that sparkle, Ryan over there, and even David W. is now among us," Darell thought to himself as only an introspective guy could think. Like flakes of gold to a prospector, these people were here to enrich whoever decided to swirl the silt. "Sasha is correct," Darell continued to introspect, "this thing really IS as irresistable as the bald thingy." The big players who are usually resistant to such triviality have been sucked right in. 

It should be obvious to all that the shark has been jumped, now that spitting mamals have been dumped.

And now, dreaming dreams of soft, inviting folds of...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 18, 2003)

...the virgins...


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## Kristofg (Jun 18, 2003)

...But if those reflective shards from the moon were to fall to earth, wouldn't that make it impossible to use a flashlight? All light would be reflected back, blinding those classes with the most powerful flashlaghts first. Something had to be done...


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## DrAg0n (Jun 18, 2003)

....to the virgins...


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## Kristofg (Jun 18, 2003)

...And it would probably involve some copper wire, a heatsink, some PN doped materials and a swiss army knife as seen on McGuyver...


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## McGizmo (Jun 18, 2003)

But at this point the worm hole responded with a feat worthy of its nature and just as inexplicable; first sucking in every last shard of the broken moon sending them off to another universe and seemingly at the same time depositing a new borrowed moon from elsewhere, restoring a balance but for one minor detail; our new moon had a green cast to it providing a new color of light to the evening sky not dissimilar to a bin 1 rank luxeon, causing flashaholics across the planet to....


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## DrAg0n (Jun 18, 2003)

...turn into bikini wearing warewolves....


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## Greta (Jun 18, 2003)

... look like this ---> /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif and...


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## DrAg0n (Jun 18, 2003)

...this -->/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/naughty.gif this ----> /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon8.gif and this ----> /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/huh.gif.......


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## McGizmo (Jun 18, 2003)

and deluge the CPF with thoughts of transporting a shuttle load of phosphor to the moon while arguing amongst themselves as to the proper color correction while in the mean time, the dots, beast, and even the virgins had engaged the bald thingy in........


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## Kristofg (Jun 18, 2003)

...A competition of "spot the 35 million different points between the old and the new moon". Meanwhile at the CPF headquarters a sliver of moon was being examined to test for color by the curator of the Ledmuseum. He looked around at the excited CPF members who were waiting for his conclusion and said "...


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## McGizmo (Jun 18, 2003)

" Uh, my conclusions in a minute, first however, was there a mention of virgins? I think we need them to.... " and meanwhile on a sidenote of concern, why were David W. and Saaby lunching with Bert Renyolds during this critical time; why were the SETI folks receiving weak radio waves from the new moon that sounded like an old Iron Butterfly tune.....


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## Darell (Jun 18, 2003)

... and why does Craig's hair suddely seem colorless? Are we now destined to live in green-hued world where high-bin LSs are a worthless blue that everybody pukes over? Where traffic lights have no meaning? Where Bert Rynolds....


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## DrAg0n (Jun 18, 2003)

...started singing the nursery rhyme Ba ba Black sheep have u any wool....


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## Greta (Jun 18, 2003)

... has his own hair...


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## Darell (Jun 18, 2003)

And suddently we're back through that worm hole (as evidenced by the wrinkle in the matrix demonstrated by Sasha above), and the moon is whole and white, Craig's hair is again green, and we just wasted several pages of this story. The good news is that no bald thingies were harmed in the telling...


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## Greta (Jun 18, 2003)

... but several virgins were...


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## Unforgiven (Jun 18, 2003)

Taken to the hospital to have their magical electric pickles surgically implanted....


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## McGizmo (Jun 18, 2003)

... or was that removed? At any rate back to TNES.......


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## Rothrandir (Jun 18, 2003)

...a heard of buffalo were just engaging a desert kangaroo in a gladiator type match...


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## reddwarf (Jun 18, 2003)

...meanwhile,back on the fire-ant farm...these three-


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## Wolfram (Jun 18, 2003)

...giant tortises's where searching in vain for...


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## Darell (Jun 18, 2003)

... some really tiny sea turtles with...


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## McGizmo (Jun 18, 2003)

enough sense to stay *out* of this silly story but getting back to important content, the virgins, with tiny sea turtles hiddin within their........


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## Rothrandir (Jun 18, 2003)

...helicoper spotlight mods...


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## Kristofg (Jun 19, 2003)

...Were coming to the conclusion that being a virgin posed a lot more danger to their careers than they had expected. After all, they had expected to be sacrificed to a dragon, but what was happening to them now was getting ridiculous. They were on the verge of hysteria and decided to...


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## Tombeis (Jun 19, 2003)

discuss their situation.

"After being ravaged by Saaby way back when he first ran into us, technically, are we still virgins?" /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon23.gif

"Virgins smergins said the wisest of them. Who's gonna know?" /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

"I will know said Saaby. And so will the...


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## McGizmo (Jun 19, 2003)

Pickle!!!! Am I right?? What do I win?.... blurted McGizmo who some how got into this story a ways back and is more perplexed than normal but that changes when Darell and Sasha showed up with a herd of dots ridding tiny sea turtles who were pulling........


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## Kristofg (Jun 19, 2003)

..The great book of Lumens, classifying all the worlds flashlights on such diverse criteria as style, creativity, modability and light output.

"Behold" they said. "there is only on book as this and you shall...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 19, 2003)

...soon behold it's awesome power!...


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## Kristofg (Jun 19, 2003)

...All of you bow before it and say "Ni" to the glory of the Holy LED whose name shall not be spoken in the presence of non CPF memebers. And thus the CPF members


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## Greta (Jun 19, 2003)

... tossed the virgins into the volcano for the dragon and eagerly gathered around the wise dots (and you all thought that I was just being goofy by using elipses all the time!) and sea turtles, in awe waiting for...


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## d'mo (Jun 19, 2003)

... the loud burp indicating the volcano had been adequately appeased, and to everyone's amazement ...


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## DrAg0n (Jun 19, 2003)

...Michael Jackson started to do the Mambo....


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## reddwarf (Jun 19, 2003)

..while dangling hooded,nymph virgins from the balcony,and...


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## MenaceSQL (Jun 19, 2003)

moonwalked back and forth in Speedos trying to get a tan under the bright sun...


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## Rothrandir (Jun 19, 2003)

...while visions of sugarplums danced in his head...


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## yclo (Jun 19, 2003)

...he slipped on a pickle...


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## McGizmo (Jun 19, 2003)

...which shot out like a rocket, taking Burt Reynolds hairpiece off and flinging it into....


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## Unforgiven (Jun 19, 2003)

The bald thingie..


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## DrAg0n (Jun 20, 2003)

....now the bald thinggy is no longer bald anymore!!...its now called the HAIRY THINGGY!!........


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## flownosaj (Jun 20, 2003)

Everyone stopped to consider what this new turn of events meant. Was this the prophecy....was this the fable that we all heard the old men mutter amongst themselves.

Maybe this....


-Jason


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## yclo (Jun 20, 2003)

...is all just a story, made up to bring into existance...


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## McGizmo (Jun 20, 2003)

.. the hairy thingie which has became bold as was intended back at the beginning when we first met and with this new found boldness and no need to hide under skirts, the bold hairy thingie grabbed a couple of the virgins and set off to.........


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## Rothrandir (Jun 20, 2003)

...never-never land...


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## Kristofg (Jun 20, 2003)

...In the hope that there would be no buildings to free from terrorists and no airplanes under threat. For once he wanted nothing but sea, sand, sun and...


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 20, 2003)

surf! surf!


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## Rothrandir (Jun 20, 2003)

...so he got on his little poney, and rode off into the sunset, never to be heard from again...

*the end*


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 20, 2003)

*of the little pony with the tail swished back and forth ...* brushing away flies like the swinging pendulum of the great grandfather clock in Saaby's bedroom, swishing away the seconds as he slowly roused himself from sleep, rubbing his eyes..."What a strange dream!" Saaby thought to himself, stretching his arms and giving a great yawn, when he noticed lying there on the pillow next to him...


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## Kristofg (Jun 20, 2003)

...Julia roberts who was clad in a skimpy night gown and softly cuddled against his torso. He didn't want to wake her up, so


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## yclo (Jun 20, 2003)

...he went back to sleep, awaiting the beginning of another...


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## Kristofg (Jun 20, 2003)

...Tale from the unexpected flashaholics...


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## Greta (Jun 20, 2003)

... or was that a pickle? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif


----------



## Icebreak (Jun 20, 2003)

...Maybe it would be a tale of greater understanding. Maybe this tale will tell what truly caused all the heavy hitting flashaholics to converge. As the swishing of the pedulum faded and the dream world gently took over, it was replaced with the sound of many pony-tails.

It was a stellar night and the pacific breeze whipped at the pony-tails of 49 athletically beautiful woman as they stood vigilantly looking out to sea. Whale song could be heard.

Then...


----------



## Kristofg (Jun 20, 2003)

The acient woman who all called "Mother of our earth" came out of the temple and looked out over the waves of the sea. "My children, we are facing grave dangers. The spirits have shown me in their ways of the land that there will be a threat upon us soon." The women shivered with fear as the words sunk in. "Soon there will be no more night as we know it. Soon there will be no more darkness for us to rest in. Soon there will be no places to hide from the light..."


----------



## flashlightlens (Jun 20, 2003)

....until suddenly, out of nowhere. The Dolly Lumen himself showed up. He took his mighty flashlight and shined it right into a 10,000 foot crevice - right at the base of this glacier. You know what the Lumen said - Gunga-la-gunga.

So he finished up with the virgins, and Sasha said, "Hey, how 'bout a little something, you know, for the effort?" The Lumen turned to Sasha and said, "On your deathbed, you will receive total luminance." So, she's got that going for her, which is nice.....


----------



## McGizmo (Jun 20, 2003)

....certainly better than a bald thingie; yet not what she had in mind..leaving the Lumen behind she walked over to Saaby and from his hair plucked...


----------



## Greta (Jun 20, 2003)

... a leftover dot from the last chapter...


----------



## McGizmo (Jun 20, 2003)

without thinking, Sasha placed the dot on the tip of her tongue and with an imediate sense of well being, as if in a fugue, she.......


----------



## [email protected] (Jun 20, 2003)

Swallowed it with a large gulp of coffee... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif


----------



## Darell (Jun 20, 2003)

After tasting the dot morsel, Sasha quickly grabbed pencil and paper, and wrote a note: "Note to self - never eat anything out of a teenager's hair."


----------



## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 20, 2003)

...and why are the walls breathing?"...


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 20, 2003)

...and what is the floor looking at?...


----------



## Icebreak (Jun 20, 2003)

...and why is everything a bit of a brighter and different hue? Where did that smiling Black Angus come from? Remembering an old urban legend, she turned out all the lights making the room pitch black. She stared into a large mirror and saw...


----------



## Greta (Jun 20, 2003)

Vin Diesel! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/naughty.gif ... and thought it strange that somehow another bald thingie ends up in the story...


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 20, 2003)

....but this time, the bald thinggy is not under Sasha's skirt, but under her....


----------



## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 20, 2003)

absolute control. "Bald thingy!" she commanded, "Go! And bring me the..."


----------



## flashlightlens (Jun 20, 2003)

...silicone. I need to make a mold of......


----------



## MenaceSQL (Jun 20, 2003)

...a flea...


----------



## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 20, 2003)

...oh and also an air conditioner for Menace, all the Arc knock-offs in East Asia, a SureFire M-6, the Cliff notes for this story, and um, a Gardenburger on whole wheat with ketchup...


----------



## Darell (Jun 20, 2003)

...for a new blue cheese recipe I'm working on.


----------



## Icebreak (Jun 20, 2003)

...Vin Diesel turns to his buddy, Bruce Willis and says, "Hey that sounds, good; a Gardenburger with California blue cheese. But what did that dude mean about the flea? Is it a special flea?" Bruce retorts, "Vin, stay focused. We are here specifically to..."


----------



## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 20, 2003)

"...see the Red Hot Chili Peppers...?" Bruce and Vin looked at each other with sudden enlightened recognition and in unision proclaimed "Oh, THAT flea!..."
"I didn't know Sasha liked the Chili Peppers so much," Vin lamented... 

( /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif )


----------



## Icebreak (Jun 20, 2003)

...and Bruce said, "Hey did you feel that?" Vin explains, "Yea, time-warp, happens all the time around here. Right now, I'm lamenting." "If Sasha is into the The Red Hot Chili Peppers I wonder if she'll even let us..."


----------



## NightStorm (Jun 20, 2003)

No, no, no....I'm not going there....

Dan


----------



## Icebreak (Jun 20, 2003)

...said a man flying by on a speedy motorcycle. But the question remained. What will Sasha command the smooth headed studly duo to do? Finally,...


----------



## Greta (Jun 20, 2003)

<font color="red">*ROTFLMAO!! Once again, you guys are killin' me!!! * </font> 

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif

<font color="blue"> *Resume Story *</font>


----------



## Icebreak (Jun 20, 2003)

...cried the pleased and pulchritudous Sasha to her obediant bald boys.

Bruce and Vin exchanged "high fives" knowing they had delivered as ordered.

Then the flea 






said, "What about me?"

So, Vin 






said, "Do you have to ask?"

Bruce






tried to explain something about "size matters".

and a friend of a well known flashaholic






let the R.H.C.P. know that...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 20, 2003)

..the angle of the dangle is directionally proportional to the heat of the..


----------



## Greta (Jun 20, 2003)

... G2 when it gets turned on for too long...


----------



## flashlightlens (Jun 20, 2003)

....feet. Their angles were obviously high, as they were forced to take off their boots. Now barefoot, they both....


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 20, 2003)

...searching for mushrooms,the good kind,and then...


----------



## Icebreak (Jun 20, 2003)

with their brains a glow, looked at each other, somewhat confused.

Bruce: "You know what the G is right?"
Vin: "Well, yea."
Bruce: "So, what's up with a G2, bro?"
Vin: "Ah, same vicinity, stage two."
Bruce: "Can it really be turned on too long?"
Vin: "Well sure, just be careful what you do with the clickie. I thought you knew all this."
Bruce: "Oh yea, I know about all that. I think."

Happily, a more even minded flashaholic offered this refreshing view:...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 20, 2003)

...how many fliks could a fliklite flick,if a flicklite could flick...


----------



## Icebreak (Jun 20, 2003)

...the refresh button. Then hopefully...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 21, 2003)

...the rabid llamas will crave chicken and consume beef while drinking clam powder and chewing on liquid beans in the form of cheese that is moldy and brand new that is shaped like a cow with a chicken-shaped hat with a little furry ball at the top...


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 21, 2003)

...of Mount Everest....


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 21, 2003)

...while watching Red Dwarf episodes and asking"What the smeg?"...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 21, 2003)

...is happening to the purple mouse with the large hat on top of a onion with yellow and green and red and purple polka-dotted ham and chili-dipped peanut-butter icecream flavered jelly?...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 21, 2003)

...then John Cleese and Peter Gransee arrive with shiny,prototype Ls4's and announce,"Now for something completely different!"...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 21, 2003)

...rothrandir then asks "who is john cleese, and why does he get to hold an ls4 before i do?...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 21, 2003)

..at which point Cleese throws the ls4 to Rothrandir who bravely defeats the black knight and the killer rabbit with the ls4's burst feature and the three brave knights go off with coconuts clacking in search of the infamous Holy Grail and then...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 21, 2003)

...the evil goats of the saharra desert come with siamese ice cream cones of terror, and force willy wonka to undergo surgery to remove his chocolate factory from one of the nuclear testing facilities in the tropical land of antarctica...


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 21, 2003)

...where there lived deadly monkeys armed with L4s.....


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 21, 2003)

...who burn out the retinas of unsuspecting wildabeasts when the full moon is out and it's rubber ducky mating season...


----------



## **DONOTDELETE** (Jun 21, 2003)

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/sleepy.gif
dictionary


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 21, 2003)

...A


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 21, 2003)

...small dictionary and a spelcheker happened upon a....


----------



## Unforgiven (Jun 21, 2003)

An enormous bald thingie consuming a barrel of pickles and a case of SureFire batteries...


----------



## Icebreak (Jun 21, 2003)

...that could have been used to light the powerful book known as "Dictionary". Powerful as Dictionary is, it cannot correlate correct considerations concerning cohesively creative contributions so, chapter 2 seemed doomed...


----------



## McGizmo (Jun 21, 2003)

while a nameless CPF member slowly removed one layer at a time, relishing in anticipation of seeing her clad in nothing but the ambient glow of the romantic moon. Finally there was nothing between them but still unfufilled desire and he took her in hand and said "Come my pretty L4, it is time we......


----------



## Icebreak (Jun 21, 2003)

...ride the surf together this night and listen to whale song that guides us to rediscover the thrill of..."


----------



## flownosaj (Jun 21, 2003)

...listening to one of Fabio's few remaining CDs. 

Luckily, there were few left. Even luckier is the fact that even fewer recordings exist of Mr. Bulk's lounge singer days. 
With his new country sound found here, the music could be used to lure...





-Jason


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 21, 2003)

Jaded, but still proud members of:The Coalition for the better treatment of golf balls,how could you abuse anything with that many dimples,at which point ...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 21, 2003)

..three monkeys from each tribe of the third nation of the oogasamonawewegola...


----------



## Unforgiven (Jun 21, 2003)

Stole the remaining Fabio CD's while throwing golf balls at the CBTGB with Mr. Bulk in hot pursuit, then suddenly....


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 22, 2003)

...unforgiven jumped in his parents new corvette and followed mr bulk. as he took a corner too fast, he realized that he was driving a car that was *way* too cool for him and he couldn't control it. his backend rotated around his front end, and wrapped itself 3 times against a light pole on the opposite side of the street...


----------



## Icebreak (Jun 22, 2003)

...where most everyone that was listening to flownosag's offering of 
WongSongs, knew they would soon be cut off and repremanded to...


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 22, 2003)

....rip the songs into MP3 formats to be distributed all over the world!!...


----------



## Unforgiven (Jun 22, 2003)

Meanwhile Rothrandir woke up from his dream and realized Unforgiven took not only that corner, but he caught up to MR. Bulk, picked him up and saved those 3 monkeys from that Fabio fate! Rothrandir sighed ... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon23.gif ... "I wish I could be as cool as Unforgiven" /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif


----------



## Icebreak (Jun 22, 2003)

...and as cool as being as cool as Unforgiven would be it would be even cooler if it were preceded and succeeded by ellipses. Even cooler than that would be if someone paused and took the time to actually visit the world of WongSongs so they could alert CPF to a fifth world that few had entered before...begging the question, who shall enter now?...


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 22, 2003)

...while pondering...."what on earth is Icebreak saying?"....


----------



## Icebreak (Jun 22, 2003)

...and the cold man fumbled to try again.

"Those of us that remember the beginning look to the end. The dragon that feared light is still in flight and shall become our friend." 

"Ellipses is the world dots are from and the dots are our great might."

"A brave one is needed to tread into the Royal Blue lettered world of WongSongs to return and confirm, 'Man, that is out of sight.' ". ...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 22, 2003)

..man,that is out of sight!!and its not just another somebody did somebody wongsong,while listening to wongsongs there appeared....


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 22, 2003)

....Michael Jackson yet again, but now parading in a pink Bikini!!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif....


----------



## Icebreak (Jun 22, 2003)

...Somebody did Somebody WongSong? Oh my! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Sorry, DrAgOn. I lost it on that one. OK...back again.

Thumbody was parading around in the wrong thong so...


----------



## McGizmo (Jun 22, 2003)

he held a printed joke in his hand upon which was typed:

"Subject: Fw: The shepherd and the Stranger


A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd,.. "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure." The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM Thinkpad and connected it to a cell phone, then he
surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says,... 

"You have exactly 1586 sheep".

"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car. Then the shepherd says: 

"If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will
you give me back my animal ?"

"OK, why not" answered the young man.
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.

"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you know nothing about my business.... Now give me back my dog"."

....Not knowing why he had the joke or how he ended up in a story clad in a bikini, Michael Jackson turned to a stranger standing close by (Sasha) and proceeded to.....


----------



## Greta (Jun 22, 2003)

... get sprayed with mace!!! because Sasha thinks that Michael Jackson is an absolute *FREAK!!* and shouldn't keep coming into this story... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/twak.gif


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 22, 2003)

....Michael Jackson then whipped out his brand new L4 and tried to blind Sasha to avoid being maced...


----------



## Greta (Jun 22, 2003)

... Sasha thought to knee him in the groin but then realized the futility of that, as everyone knows that MJ has no balls, so she quickly...


----------



## McGizmo (Jun 22, 2003)

teleported to a different spot in the story where the 49 vixens were standing on the cliff, listening to whale song and testing the beam colors of their new L4's; a recent gift from PK..........


----------



## star882 (Jun 22, 2003)

Peter Gransee turned on his Arc-LS, and he saw the Lumileds girl!


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 22, 2003)

...who seemed to reflect back everything he shone at her in all directions like a disco ball.....


----------



## Darell (Jun 22, 2003)

...though this story-reader ain't NEVER seen a disco ball curved quite like that! Wouldn't be prudent to nail something that shiny with the L4, thought Don...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 22, 2003)

..rothrandir volunteers to nail the discoball...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 22, 2003)

...but,Bill Clinton rudely interrupted and asked the discoball up to his room to take turns not inhaling,and suggested that they are called interns because he likes taking them inturns,and then....


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 23, 2003)

....in came Mrs Clinton....


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 23, 2003)

..saying, "i'm the real slim shady!"...


----------



## Darell (Jun 23, 2003)

... or not...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 23, 2003)

...of this world..as she hurried off with Whitehouse linen,the next revolting public figure heard a explosion and then a very angry ex-sas member(you know who you are)ran to find....


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 23, 2003)

...a rabbit hole to pee in....


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 23, 2003)

...only, too late did they realize it wasn't a rabbit hole. it was a snake hole!...


----------



## Stainless (Jun 23, 2003)

Meanwhile, innocent readers of this sorid tale are wondering why the posted "WongSongs" links are all dead, but hoping against hope that the fabeled "Lumileds Girl" is very much alive somewhere and willing to have her photo...


----------



## McGizmo (Jun 23, 2003)

revised by our man GloBug and be the latest incarnation of the bovine man who just happended to slip into this story when took Sasha's whip and.....


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 24, 2003)

.....coated it with peanut butter....


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 24, 2003)

...with a marshmellow on the very tip...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 24, 2003)

...and began flogging anyone who thought it absurd to spend thousands on illumination devices,and after many,many years of flogging, backlit by the Arc Ls62-6,Rev.13,which now cost a mere $1,900.00 each,there came a sound of...


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 24, 2003)

...chickens screaming as they are being slaughtered....


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 24, 2003)

...for the turkey dinner that night, to be cooked by falconfx...


----------



## McGizmo (Jun 24, 2003)

who by now is older, if not wiser; killing chickens for a turkey dinner :O but we digress........ meanwhile with new tatoo and no whip Sasha round up Saaby and proceeded to.....


----------



## Saaby (Jun 25, 2003)

...order Surefires. Meanwile Saaby tries to convince her that CPF would run much better if a PowerMac G5, funded by the CPF contributions budget, found it's way onto his desk. Sasha was not convinced, but she could not deny the massive cooling power of this machine so, with this in mind, she attempted to phone the Skunkworks team on her Bluetooth enabled cell phone, only to find that she did not have the numbers for any of the Skunkworks team members. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Phillip Schiller (Senior Vice President of Worldwide Product Marketing at Apple) swooped in, iPod in hand, 12" Powerbook under arm. Phil explained that he was drawn to Sasha and Saaby by the earlier mentioned MP3s which he was now listening to on his iPod. "That's great" Sasha replied, "But how's that going to help me get ahold of Darell?" In his first and last violent eruption ever, Saaby took Sasha's mace and maced Phil, taking the iPod and Powerbook. Within moments Saaby had pulled Darell's number off his home computer via the 802.11b network in a nearby Starbucks and transmitted it to Sasha's cell via Bluetooth. Darell picked up his home phone when...


----------



## Saaby (Jun 25, 2003)

He heard a dialtone. As Sasha was dialing Darell Saaby realized that he was loosing thousands upon thousands of dollars by letting his precious songs be distibuted over the net, so he stole Sasha's cell phone and connected via Bluetooth and GMRS to the internet to
A) Sic the RIAA on everybody downloading said songs
and
B) Get said songs into the iTunes Music store where thousands upon thousands of Mac users (And soon Widnows too) could legally download the song for just $0.99. Saaby quickly did the math in his head, it'd only take 11,600 downloads of the song to generate the $11,000 his dream computer cost.

With these goals accomplished, Saaby gave Sasha her mobile back and headed towards his Uk 2003 Saab 9-3 to see just how slick the bluetooth integration would work with his laptop.

Moments later Darell's home phone once again rang. Glancing at the CallerID this time he considered not picking up, but curiosity got the best of him so he picked up the phone a second time when...


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 25, 2003)

....Michael Jackson called to say (in his girly voice)..."I love you Darell"....


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 28, 2003)

..the silence was intense ,but hope still springs eternal in some,and the vicar replied...


----------



## NightStorm (Jun 28, 2003)

"ITS ALIVE...MY GOD, THE STORY'S STILL ALIVE"....to which Saaby responded...


----------



## McGizmo (Jun 28, 2003)

do you like gladiator movies? while on the other coast....


----------



## NightStorm (Jun 28, 2003)

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif

Dan


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 28, 2003)

...the viscious electric eels went to the yoga club...


----------



## NightStorm (Jun 28, 2003)

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thinking.gif

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thinking.gif 

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink2.gif

Dan


----------



## McGizmo (Jun 28, 2003)

...where they found rothrandir and proceeded to encircle him, head to tail, head to tail and attempted to teach him a thing about continuity in all things; life, stories and of course electrical circuits, the last demonstrated when they tightened the circle around him and let the electrons flow. Enlightened (shocked?), Roth left the Yoga club intent on.....


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 28, 2003)

.....eating carrots under the sun...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 28, 2003)

...and taunting the bridge troll who had allowed passage to this strange,disjointed land of the neverending story,and as he force fed the troll reconstituted carrots...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 28, 2003)

..the troll put on his tophat, and danced a jig, allowing rothrandor to pass by while silently laughing at the foolish troll...


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 29, 2003)

....but he however didnt notice right in front of him were....


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 29, 2003)

...an entire row of purle and yellow pengiuns!...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 29, 2003)

...Crazed laughter and perfectly boiled crawfish were being served with Bitburg beer and...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 29, 2003)

...head cheese...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 29, 2003)

...authentic fajitas,not the Tex-Mex variety mind you and ice cold Tecate ...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 29, 2003)

...this was the real first rate stuff, the kind of stuff that made you say "yahooarammaodadodaday!"...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 29, 2003)

...and caused 3-alarms fires in the loo the following morning...and because of the restroom fires....


----------



## McGizmo (Jun 29, 2003)

the only printed copy of the never ending story was burned beyond recognition........... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 29, 2003)

...thus,the story was spread much like a plague,throughout the years with many adaptions such as Tecate imbibing penquins and...


----------



## NightStorm (Jun 29, 2003)

...a disturbing increase in virginity among the civil population...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 29, 2003)

...while in the uncivil population the decline of virgins was dramatic,causing ...


----------



## DrAg0n (Jun 29, 2003)

......the sale of condoms and sex toys to....


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 29, 2003)

...skyrocket...


----------



## Darell (Jun 29, 2003)

Hello, Mr. Jackson? Hello? Can you hear me OK, or is that a reconstituted troll in your ear eating a carrot? Maybe we just have a bad connection. Are phone companies using Macs now?


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 29, 2003)

...and M.J.replied "Can you ***** me now?" ....


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 29, 2003)

...saaby proceeds to disembowel darell for speaking poorly of macs...


----------



## Darell (Jun 29, 2003)

What? Huh? REALLY bad connection.... So MJ says "no, that's a white glove in my ear, silly!... or maybe just a piece of my missing nose."


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 29, 2003)

..cuz, its a thriller!!!!....then,Elvis walks in with a bucket of fried chicken and the famed .38 snub revolver that he used as a tv remote and...


----------



## IlluminatingBikr (Jun 29, 2003)

... Shot the brand new television right in the middle so there was a black hole in the picture...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 29, 2003)

...the black hole expanded and its super dense gravity pulled MJ,Elvis,the fried chicken,Stephen King,Herman Munster,and Marilyn Manson in to its swirling vortex and behold...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 30, 2003)

...the lumileds girl came out, asking for rothrandir...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 30, 2003)

Rothrandir says...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! and....


----------



## IlluminatingBikr (Jun 30, 2003)

...faints...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 30, 2003)

...then revived with spent cr123 fumes,he shouts...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 30, 2003)

...oh no! lumileds girl, get out of the way! i lost my arc aaa!!!...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 30, 2003)

...oh, good, i found it. we can continue kissing now...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 30, 2003)

...awakened now from every healthy male flash-o-holics dream by the roar of the way too early sound of his neighbors lawnmower he screams again...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 30, 2003)

...dangit!!! you idiots!!! i was just getting to the good part! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif "...


----------



## reddwarf (Jun 30, 2003)

...theres a loud knock at Rothrandirs front door,he answers,there stands the lumileds girl,baby in arms,demanding alimony,the car,the house,and worse yet..the Arc collection ,he runs to Mexico,opens a money making brothel and...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jun 30, 2003)

...swears to avenge his arc collection. creating a secret identity, brothelling money by day, fighting crime by night! behold <font color="red">flashman!</font>...


----------



## DrAg0n (Jul 1, 2003)

....with the power of scaring his enemies away by flashing himself at them.....


----------



## Rothrandir (Jul 1, 2003)

...though occasionaly it has magnet-like powers, drawing such females as denise richards and yasmine bleeth...


----------



## Nerd (Jul 1, 2003)

Yet at other times, polarities don't match and they turn away gems like Kelly Hu, Monica Belluci....


----------



## Chromatophile (Jul 1, 2003)

....and Margaret Thatcher....


----------



## reddwarf (Jul 2, 2003)

...Janet Reno...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jul 2, 2003)

...and dominic...


----------



## Nerd (Jul 2, 2003)

and so... rothrandir continues embarking on his quest of......


----------



## Rothrandir (Jul 2, 2003)

...erebor?...


----------



## Saaby (Jul 2, 2003)

and then...it ended.


----------



## Saaby (Jul 2, 2003)

Juuuuuust kidding...unlocked for your enjoyment.


----------



## Rothrandir (Jul 2, 2003)

...just then, an entire mob comes and attacks saaby chanting "what the heck were you thinking? what the heck were you thinking? what the heck were you thinking? what the heck were you thinking? what the heck were you thinking? what the heck were you thinking?...."...


----------



## Unforgiven (Jul 2, 2003)

And as the Almost Banned Tyrant unlocked the story, he grabbed his pickle and a handful of 123's and said...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jul 2, 2003)

...did i do that?...


----------



## IlluminatingBikr (Jul 3, 2003)

... and shines his brightest light on the crowd, temporarily blinding all of them, and he escapes...


----------



## Icebreak (Jul 3, 2003)

...only to find himself...


----------



## reddwarf (Jul 3, 2003)

...surrounded by visually angry,unemployed Tibetan street mimes who are plotting world domination by...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jul 3, 2003)

...candlelight...


----------



## DrAg0n (Jul 4, 2003)

....which shone out of their....


----------



## Stefan (Jul 4, 2003)

...poorly designed 3 volt flashlight. At which point...


----------



## reddwarf (Jul 4, 2003)

...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jul 4, 2003)

...someone said...


----------



## **DONOTDELETE** (Jul 4, 2003)

let's have a pole, say what?


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## reddwarf (Jul 5, 2003)

...at the onset of the seige of pole bearers who were searching for blinded Tibetan street mimes bent on world domination, the music of Tangerine Dream was overheard by the elite Marxist night shift custodians,who in a blaze of nicotine fueled anxiety began...


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## DrAg0n (Jul 5, 2003)

*Re: The Neverending story.... *DELETED**

Post deleted by DrAg0n


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## DrAg0n (Jul 7, 2003)

...to plan an assault on the Surefire HQ.....


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## Rothrandir (Jul 7, 2003)

...and in doing so...


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## DrAg0n (Jul 7, 2003)

...hope to steal all the latest research prototypes still being developed......


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## Stefan (Jul 7, 2003)

...and donate them to the LEDMuseum for reviewing. In doing so...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 7, 2003)

...create a ripple in the time space continium...


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## NightStorm (Jul 7, 2003)

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thinking.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/banned2.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Dan


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## DrAg0n (Jul 7, 2003)

.....which would brought forth aliens from another dimension, whose technology made our current Led technology obsolete because...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 7, 2003)

...they've got lem technology. light emitting meat. it works with living tissue also...


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## DrAg0n (Jul 7, 2003)

...which makes our 'meats' give off light without the need of us carrying anything extra....however for women....


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## Rothrandir (Jul 8, 2003)

...this technology doesn't work quite as well..


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## DrAg0n (Jul 8, 2003)

...simply because they....


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## Darell (Jul 9, 2003)

...haven't told Darell what has happened over the last ten pages, so he...


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## McGizmo (Jul 9, 2003)

suckered McGizmo, once again, into looking into the never ending story and after reading it, with strange looking device in hand...........


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## Darell (Jul 9, 2003)

...paged Darell to come look AGAIN. Still finding no clue as to the story's deeper meaning, Darell poked McGizmo in the eye and exclaimed....


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## Saaby (Jul 9, 2003)

..STOP IT! So Saaby did. He posted to the story causing all who saw his name in the top 50 to move on to the the next thread...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 9, 2003)

...which is why i didn't post this...


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## DrAg0n (Jul 9, 2003)

...but continued to wonder why Saaby has the "Almost Banned" tag to his nick.....


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## Rothrandir (Jul 9, 2003)

...rothrandir guesses that it has someting to do with his unhealthry attraction to darell...


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## Darell (Jul 9, 2003)

...that seems to cause spelling errors, partial blindness and...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 9, 2003)

...bad breath...


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## Greta (Jul 9, 2003)

... which forces Sasha to once more join this thread to pass out Listerine Pocket Paks and...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 9, 2003)

..ban saaby? :hopeful:...


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## Greta (Jul 9, 2003)

...but she couldn't because now Saaby is not quite all here...


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## Icebreak (Jul 9, 2003)

...and because Sasha knows we all have an irrevokable appreciation for Saaby's astounding abiltites in the area of...


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## Greta (Jul 9, 2003)

...virgins...


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## DrAg0n (Jul 9, 2003)

......, an ability only he has.....


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## Icebreak (Jul 10, 2003)

...cultivated by his intimate knowledge of how...


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## Stefan (Jul 10, 2003)

...and anything requiring batteries...


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## Darell (Jul 10, 2003)

In summary, Saaby is intimately familiar with virgins and battery operated devices.

Knowing that Ryan is not around to defend himself, it seemed prudent to also point out that his larger than normal...


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## leddite (Jul 10, 2003)

following of loyal defenders of his honor. the elite guard of virgin warriors of utah and their sharp and flaming ...


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## McGizmo (Jul 10, 2003)

......................


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## Darell (Jul 10, 2003)

From off in the distance the scream built and built. "The sharp and flaming dots are coming!" The sharp and flaming dots are coming. Take the women and children to...


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## Tombeis (Jul 10, 2003)

Cleveland, and the Rock and Roll Hall of fame where Elvis shows off his...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 10, 2003)

...antarctica...


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## Tombeis (Jul 10, 2003)

No, actually Elvis shows off his LED toilet light invented by Craig Johnson of the Led Museum Fame. Elvis said " Craig...


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## DrAg0n (Jul 10, 2003)

....why does my butt itch everytime when i use this toilet?...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 10, 2003)

...because saaby replaced your toilet paper with poision-ivey toilet paper. a reason to ban him?! :hopeful:...


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## DrAg0n (Jul 10, 2003)

....and another thing, anyway to make the light not probe me while im taking a poop?....


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## Rothrandir (Jul 11, 2003)

...rothrandir thinks hard, then comes up with a possible solution "spread hot wax around and inside your rectum"...


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## DrAg0n (Jul 11, 2003)

....then Elvis said, " Wouldnt that hurt? How would i be able to poop anymore?" .....


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## Greta (Jul 11, 2003)

c'mon guys... let's take this in another direction, ok? 

and the language really isn't necessary either... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/twak.gif


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jul 11, 2003)

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif ...I shoulda just let Saaby ride the tail-swishing donkey into the sunset.. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jpshakehead.gif


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## Rothrandir (Jul 11, 2003)

...rothrandir pleads "it wasn't my fault!" i was just suggesting a solution to the problem...you know me...always willing to help!"...


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## DrAg0n (Jul 12, 2003)

...therefore, elvis was banned from the CPF for using inappropriate language.....


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## Rothrandir (Jul 12, 2003)

...nonone knows where he has gone...thought some suspect he's finally "gone home"...


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## McGizmo (Jul 12, 2003)

to which McGizmo offered to use enough inappropriate language to have the never ending story locked as well as himself being banned from CPF so he could go off with Elvis........


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## NightStorm (Jul 12, 2003)

.....to ride whales off of Maui....

Dan


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## Rothrandir (Jul 12, 2003)

...and meet micheal jackson...

(they're from the same planet right?)


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## reddwarf (Jul 12, 2003)

...and ride a unicycle with Pamela Anderson...wwwweeeeee...


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## flownosaj (Jul 12, 2003)

Unfortunately, while everyone was having fun "riding" things, an unnamed CPF member had tried a new led modification in his garage. 
He had found a new experimental led in the laboratory where he was employed as a janitor. There were two of them and they looked just like the leds in his keychain light. He ripped the led out of his Photon and made the switch.


He installed the new led into his Photon case and pressed the button, expecting a dazzling display of light--but nothing happened....at first...

Unfortunately, with the pair of devices now separated and a power source applied the sequence had begun. Like an out of control chain reaction, the device began to obtain power through absorbtion of dimensional barriers. 
What he got was the world's first functional trans-dimentional-blender. 

It turns out that this entire thread was a product of the abilities of this out of control device to blend time, space, and our preceptions of reality. Only he, the operator was immune to the actions of the device and realized that things were not as they should be. 

time seemed to speed up, then slow down. Dots began to run amuck. Imaginary characters became reality and Shasha had a minature Bruce Willis and a pickle between her thighs. Nothing made sense anymore, yet he was the only one to see it.

"This device must be destroyed," he said as he went for his sledge hammer.
As the 5 pound hammerhead crashed down, there was a blinding flash of light and a sound that could only be described as deafining silence.




-Jason


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## flownosaj (Jul 12, 2003)

[No message]


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## flownosaj (Jul 12, 2003)

...slowly he opened his eyes......


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## flownosaj (Jul 12, 2003)

....


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## flownosaj (Jul 12, 2003)

and he found he was back in his garage...seconds before starting the reaction that would lead him back into the time loop.

He again picked up the hammer and destroyed the terrible device before it could cause any more damage. 


Then he remembered the second one in the lab....


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## DrAg0n (Jul 13, 2003)

.....he quickly called Sabby to give him a lift....


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jul 13, 2003)

..but Saaby was preoccupied outside in the street counting the LEDs in the fire engine brake lights ..


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## Rothrandir (Jul 13, 2003)

...when he should be noticing that the fire had spread, and was silently eating away at the seat of his trousers...


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## McGizmo (Jul 13, 2003)

the silence was broken with the wind, as it were, when some methane was released; beans......


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jul 13, 2003)

"..again!?" Saaby thought, "..Dang! I have got to score some Beano..and a pocket sized fire extinguisher..! ..or maybe just install a sprinkler system in my pants..hey wait a minute...!"


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## DrAg0n (Jul 13, 2003)

..i do have one!.....


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## Rothrandir (Jul 13, 2003)

...saaby whips out "acme mini-sprinkler system" from his left pocket, and presses the button that unfolds it and sends jets of streaming water everywhere...


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## DrAg0n (Jul 13, 2003)

....and guess where the 'water' is from!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif......


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## Greta (Jul 13, 2003)

... why, it's from the brand new HydroStorm that thank God, Saaby thought to order from Blackhawk Industries when it went on sale two weeks ago...


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## DrAg0n (Jul 14, 2003)

...or is it??...therefore to confrim, special forces were sent to investigate.....


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## reddwarf (Jul 14, 2003)

...and they overheard Saaby shout"Fire in My hole!!" ..looking confused...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 14, 2003)

...special force guy 1 turned to special force guy too and said "bah, why bother? lets do lunch!"...


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## Tombeis (Jul 14, 2003)

special forces guy two said, lunch sounds good, let's take the little guy with the butt afire with us. He will come in handy when...


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## The_LED_Museum (Jul 14, 2003)

...we order the poo poo platter, and it's undercooked.
At that moment, ...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 14, 2003)

...saaby's fire reached the gps unit in his pocket, causing him to explode into flames. special force guys 1 and 2 said "darn....he would have made great for targe practice. i guess we'd better call the fire department before he catches something important on fire.."...


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## NightStorm (Jul 14, 2003)

.....like his flashlights or his......

Dan


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## DrAg0n (Jul 14, 2003)

....special 'sprinkler' which he has stuck in hes trousers cos it has gone too soft to handle.....


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## reddwarf (Jul 18, 2003)

...waaaaasssssuuuuuuupppppppppppppppp!!!! was heard....


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## Rothrandir (Jul 18, 2003)

...everyone turned their heads to see...


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## logicnerd411 (Jul 18, 2003)

...it was...


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## NightStorm (Jul 18, 2003)

.....something never seen before in these here parts....

Dan


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## Rothrandir (Jul 18, 2003)

..someone who noone expected...


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## Unforgiven (Jul 19, 2003)

It was, the black sheep of the flashlight industry!!...... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon6.gif


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## DrAg0n (Jul 19, 2003)

....the flashlight whose name was not worth mentioning, but seems to enter every conversation whenever the topic flashlight was brought up.....


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## Rothrandir (Jul 19, 2003)

...and...


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## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...then...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 19, 2003)

...when noone was looking...


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jul 19, 2003)

...a pair of hands surriptitiously connected a pair a leads to the ends of...


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jul 19, 2003)




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## NightStorm (Jul 19, 2003)

....the infamous pickle....

Dan


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jul 19, 2003)

..yes..the infamous pickle...


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## MenaceSQL (Jul 19, 2003)

...the infamous pickle who...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 19, 2003)

...seems much like an infamous pickle, but...


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## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...was really a clam...


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## reddwarf (Jul 19, 2003)

...a clam on the lamb,undercover as a pickle who protected the ...


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## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...McLux...


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## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...from the...


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## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...evil [email protected]


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## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...6D cell that wanted to...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 19, 2003)

...do something...


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## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...evil...


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## logicnerd411 (Jul 19, 2003)

...evil...


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## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...and more evil...


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## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...something that would shock the world...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...like putting out a halfway decent beam...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 19, 2003)

...or...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 19, 2003)

...frolic in a meadow full of birds and flowers....


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## MenaceSQL (Jul 19, 2003)

...and...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 19, 2003)

...what's more...


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## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...eat clams for no reason...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...while...


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## Rothrandir (Jul 19, 2003)

...just because...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...it was out of batteries...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jul 19, 2003)

...because it was...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...loaded with an HID...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...that ate batteries faster than...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...an SUV burns up gas...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...so it went in search of...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...the perfect...


----------



## Rothrandir (Jul 19, 2003)

...thing...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...to...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...power the 100W HID it housed...


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## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...so it could destroy...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...all the...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...evil ...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 19, 2003)

...monkeys...


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## MenaceSQL (Jul 19, 2003)

...invisible evil monkeys that is...


----------



## DavidW (Jul 19, 2003)

or is that mankays?


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 20, 2003)

...cheese eating monkeys that want to take over the world...


----------



## Unforgiven (Jul 20, 2003)

So the cheese eatin', dot totin' invisible evil mankays stole that modified pickle to...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 20, 2003)

...destroy the 100W HID 6D [email protected] and conquer...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 20, 2003)

...the moon...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 20, 2003)

...because they need more cheese...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 20, 2003)

...meanwhile...


----------



## DrAg0n (Jul 20, 2003)

.....back in the bat cave.....


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 20, 2003)

...an explosion shook the very foundation of the earth...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 20, 2003)

...and broke all the bulbs in [email protected] all around the world...


----------



## Pi_is_blue (Jul 20, 2003)

...of course Arcs were not effected in the slightest...


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## **DONOTDELETE** (Jul 20, 2003)

...and so, as poetry would have it, there was poor old Mr. Mag, bowed down trying to find the valve on his flat rear tire, alone on the edge of the highway, in the rain, and in the dark. He cursed as he skinned his knuckles on the tire iron, and cursed again as his nitro-glycerin tablets fell out of his pocket and clattered away into the black, dark, lightless, night... when who should happen to come cruising by...


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## hotfoot (Jul 20, 2003)

...it was Peter Gransee! And in his hand he held...


----------



## TrevorNasko (Jul 20, 2003)

a goncz light that...


----------



## TrevorNasko (Jul 20, 2003)

was 23 times the output of....


----------



## Rothrandir (Jul 20, 2003)

...a lighteningbug...


----------



## TrevorNasko (Jul 20, 2003)

and flickered like one too. in the dim light gransee could make out the form of a...


----------



## TrevorNasko (Jul 20, 2003)

button...


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## TrevorNasko (Jul 20, 2003)

that controled


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## TrevorNasko (Jul 20, 2003)

... a corvette


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## TrevorNasko (Jul 20, 2003)

...the color of


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## Greta (Jul 20, 2003)

It's a shame that you few turned what was something fun for everyone into just a way to drive up your post count. Very lame. 

Thread closed. Don't do this again guys. I mean it.


----------

