# You know you're a machinist when....



## PEU (Mar 4, 2009)

Just read this at cnczone.com
The rapid Z one made me laugh loud!

- the shop's calendar contains either naked women, cool cars with naked women on them, or naked woman holding a chuck
- after you complete a job and anodize, the client suddenly notices a change they want
- everyone in the shop smokes
- swearing is the most common form of communication


and some more from American Machinist:



*You * help your kid do her math graphing homework and measure the points with a caliper.
*Your * girlfriend pulls in for a look at the junkyard without even asking you.
*Your * wife finds a chip in her bra and threatens to put some in your underwear, and that doesn't faze you.
*You * can't remember your wife's birthday or your wedding anniversary, but you can name all the tap drills up to 1 in.
*You * realize your not 1/10 as smart as you thought you were after one year on the job.
*You * let a young guy in your dept do it the wrong way first so the principle you show him when he asks for help is cemented in his noggin'.
*You * take your scale out of your pocket to stir your coffee then wipe it on your pants and return it to your pocket.
*Someone * from the front office asks to borrow your "ruler" you tell 'em you don't have one because you didn't realize they were talking about your coffee stirrer.
*You * lay down to go to sleep and wake up with the solution to a difficult setup you are working on...and it happens on a regular basis.
*Someone * asks you to build something that has never been built before, and you know what part to make first.
*You * curse whoever designed that new tool you bought. Then you redesign the faulty part and make it.
*You * go to a trade show and get annoyed because the booth babes are standing in front of the machines.
*You * tell someone they can't use a machine not because you're worried they'll cut their finger off, but that they'll break the machine and you'll have to fix it.
*You * can hear a shop full of equipment running and tell which one is having a problem.
*You * see the fractional tolerances of carpentry and you shake your head.
*You * can feel 0.001 in."
*Friends * you have not seen for a while drop by for a visit with a "sketch" of something they need made.
*You * dare not walk on carpet because of the blue chips wedged in the soles of your shoes.
*You * decorate the Christmas tree at work with long metal shavings instead of garland.
*You * can think of six other things you are qualified to do that pay more, but you don't even try.
*Your * heart fills with joy when someone hands you a freshly hardened piece of 16MnCr5 with a fine grey surface texture.
*You * ride a roller coaster, and the first hill gives you the same feeling as watching the first rapid Z move on a new program.
*You * grab the Machinist Bible to look something up, and you spend some time just thumbing thru it reading things you find interesting.
*You * answer naive questions by saying: "If there were no machinists there would be no machine tools, or machines that make stuff, or stuff to buy. Everything depends on a machinist for their manufacturing or processing. Without them the economy would collapse. Nothing of our culture would survive the next generation."


Pablo


----------



## frisco (Mar 4, 2009)

You know really your not a machinist when you have all the equipment to make the part......... And you send it out to be done !!!!!

I'm guilty of that!

frisco


----------



## gadget_lover (Mar 4, 2009)

You know really your not a machinist when ...

Your buddy offers to share his $500 bottle of fine single malt whiskey. You taste it and find that it reminds you of the smell of TapMagic Gold when it vaporizes while machining. And you're puzzled that he does not find that at all interesting.

Daniel


----------



## precisionworks (Mar 4, 2009)

> the smell of TapMagic Gold when it vaporizes


I love the smell of TapMagic in the morning ... it reminds me of victory







Apocalypse Now (1979) Robert Duvall


----------



## LukeA (Mar 5, 2009)

With the machinists I know, it's: "You're not a machinist unless you've been to the emergency room with a serious hand injury."


----------



## KC2IXE (Mar 5, 2009)

PEU said:


> ...snip...- the shop's calendar contains either naked women, cool cars with naked women on them, or naked woman holding a chuck
> ...snip...



I won't claim to be a machinist, but as you knows know, I have a lathe and mill. Way back when, my Mom worked for a "Material Handling Equipment" company. Basically 99% of the work there was building bridge/gantry cranes. One Lathe (Old worn out 15" LeBlond), one Bridgeport (Series one), a few saws capable of cutting LARGE I-beams, a BIG Ironworker for punching holes, a BIG drillpress (and old MT5 Buffalo), a couple of SMAW welders were the main shop gear

I guess I was first hired for the day to stuff catalogs and the like when I was in my early teens - and hence, my first exposure to centerfolds up on the wall. (Yes, Mom knew they were there, she was the bookkeeper)

The summer after High school, the President of the company called me, and asked if I wanted a summer job. Mom didn't ask, but I had done good work in those 1 day jobs, so...

I was there for 4 years after that, and once I was 18, out in the shop with the machines. The President of the Company saw I was interested in learning everything I could, and had the Machinist teach me the lathe and mill (He was retired from Pratt and Witney), and had the certified welder teach me what I needed to know there (we didn't do much fancy stuff, mostly "in position" work, so it was 99% 7014 on the flat, but LOTS of it)

Fun job, I learned a LOT there, stuff that has stood me in good stead over the years.

I always say that my career has echoed society - I started of with "steel Age" technology, then moven into electronics, then computers, then computers on the net...


----------



## SquareJ (Mar 9, 2009)

That's the same path i took, during school breaks summer and Christmas jobs at a shop, found a tech job and have been doing tech ever since (1992) BUT over the years i have assembled a small shop, mill lathe welder torch etc and nothing gives me the feeling of achievement as does seeing whats inside a block of metal and bringing it out. Some day when i can "afford" to quit my day job that is where i believe i will retire, in some shop.

That being said i am looking at a Tormach PCNC mill as a very nice very expensive (as compared to my other tools) addition to my shop. Trying to figure out if there is enough money in small jobs that people need done that could help me pay for it. Rapid prototyping etc... Any suggestions or experience anyone has with this type of work would be appreciated.

Jason
Square J Industries, Inc.


----------



## PEU (Mar 9, 2009)

From what I read in forums, these days even big shops bid for small jobs, check this thread: http://www.cnczone.com/forums/showthread.php?t=73472


Pablo


----------



## Cuso (Mar 9, 2009)

PEU said:


> From what I read in forums, these days even big shops bid for small jobs, check this thread: http://www.cnczone.com/forums/showthread.php?t=73472
> 
> 
> Pablo


Very interesting reading, and forum...Ill certainly hang around over there...


----------



## Clark (Mar 10, 2009)

PEU said:


> Just read this at cnczone.com
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Don't try this at home.
I am banned from tree decoration.


----------



## LEDobsession (Mar 11, 2009)

LukeA said:


> With the machinists I know, it's: "You're not a machinist unless you've been to the emergency room with a serious hand injury."



Been there. I took an End Mill right to the bone in my thumb a few weeks ago.  That was fun.

I always look at the gas pump and see the gallons in 'thousandths" of an inch. And if you didn't before, you probably will now.
Another one of my faves is in my delirious, subconscious state of the early morning, I see the time on my alarm clock that has only one dot of the ":" in it and wonder if it is in X, Y, or Z, and if that is in absolute or incremental positioning. The giant red snooze button is seen as a "Feed Hold" button.


----------



## Anglepoise (Mar 11, 2009)

.................... Your medical records has a warning in red ink. " Do not 
under any circumstances allow this patient to have an MRI scan"


----------



## tommylight (Mar 11, 2009)

LEDobsession said:


> Been there. I took an End Mill right to the bone in my thumb a few weeks ago.  That was fun.
> 
> I always look at the gas pump and see the gallons in 'thousandths" of an inch. And if you didn't before, you probably will now.
> Another one of my faves is in my delirious, subconscious state of the early morning, I see the time on my alarm clock that has only one dot of the ":" in it and wonder if it is in X, Y, or Z, and if that is in absolute or incremental positioning. The giant red snooze button is seen as a "Feed Hold" button.






Man i laughed so hard that i got hungry. Back in a few.....


----------



## LEDobsession (Mar 11, 2009)

On the window sill in your shower, you have piles designated for the different chips that come out of your hair.


----------



## Torque1st (Mar 12, 2009)

LukeA said:


> With the machinists I know, it's: "You're not a machinist unless you've been to the emergency room with a serious hand injury."


Does removing a finger count?

Those embedded chips in the shoes are real hard on hardwood floors also...


----------



## LEDobsession (Mar 13, 2009)

Torque1st said:


> Does removing a finger count?



That oughtta work.


----------



## old4570 (Mar 13, 2009)

Your a machinist when you'd rather spend 10 Hours in front of a lathe then spend one hour listening to your [ Insert correct reference ] .

Yeah , guilty !


----------



## LEDobsession (Mar 18, 2009)

-You have a 0-.5" sheetmetal micrometer on your keychain.
-You secretly want to drive your boss's car under that huge mill at work and mill off the top. :devil:
-You have ripped holes in your leather seats in your vehicle from being covered in blue chips.


----------



## PEU (Mar 18, 2009)

- you measured the maximum comfortable size to trim down a tweezer to put it in your keychain for these moments when you notice there are still shaving(s) stuck in the finger(s) and you are away from the machines... 


Pablo


----------

