I've been running CPF for about 3 years now... or something like that. Way back when, I used to take every and all comments about CPF (good and bad... mostly the bad) personally. I felt that I needed to defend CPF and myself and I spent many a sleepless night and long days and weekends trying to please everyone. After awhile, my skin grew thicker. And I realized that some members just like to complain. As my father-in-law used to say... they'd complain if you hanged them with a new rope! And I realized that I can't please everyone and while their lives may be CPF, mine isn't. It can't be.
So consequently, there are very few members of CPF who can "get to me" now. Very few whose opinion really does matter to me. Very few who can still hurt my feelings and put me on the defensive. Very few who I will take the time to explain myself to.
Ray is one of those members.
We've had our differences... that's for sure!
But as many of you have already said here, Ray tells it like it is. He doesn't pull punches and he believes in the truth as he sees it and letting everyone know exactly what that is. He doesn't know it, but Ray and just a few others are the ones I count on to maintain the integrity of CPF by calling others on their BS. And he's never let me down.
At one time, Ray's perception of me and the way things are with CPF was just a little "off" from the truth. And I knew that. I'll admit that it hurt... because I knew that he didn't have all of the facts and he was simply going by what he did have. I couldn't defend myself because of circumstances. So I let Ray and many others go on thinking the worst of me. But in truth, Ray and very few others were the only ones that I cared what they thought.
When a bunch of stuff finally came out in the Revelations thread, Ray made this post to me:
First off Sasha, I owe you an appology. When I first heard the story that the LC pricing was so high based on the "CPF cut", my immediate reaction was to jump on the "here we go again with CPF (Sasha) with her hand out looking for more dollars to support CPF, buy shoes or whatever else the monies are used for". Now that the facts are devulged, I can honestly say that I'm sorry for feeling that way. Although I never made my opinions public, I held a very strong "grudge" against CPF and you personally. For that, I sincerely appologize, stand corrected and ask for foregiveness.
And I replied to him:
TIN... believe it or not, your post means the most to me. You don't have to ask for forgiveness... I
completely understand why you thought the way you did. I took it all on the chin because it was the right thing to do to protect CPF. I've never been out to win any popularity contests and have accepted that not all will like me or how I handle things around here. And I feel that as long as things are running smoothly and my conscience is clear, there is no need to stand on a soapbox and constantly proclaim my "innocense". I have never had a problem looking myself in the face in the mirror when it comes to CPF.
Thank you though for your post... it truly
does mean alot to me...
For those of you who haven't been around CPF for very long, Ray is one of CPF's greatest assets. He is one of "the good guys". He keeps
ALL of us honest.
I'll miss ya Ray.... and to borrow a phrase....
We'll leave the light on for ya...