Poor man's Gatorade.

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LOL
I wish that was the worst thing that all of us experienced during an average day. Life would be so much better if THAT was the worst.
I spent a decent amount of time working in NYC from ~2006-2016. I still can't get the smell of the burnt pretzels out of my mind/nose. Ick.
Ahh...I see you've never heard of the fart spray known as "liquid a$$"...THANKFULLY, I don't believe they use naturally derived ingredients, but I tell you, 🤮
No need for that here. I'm naturally blessed with 100%, all natural, organic, gas. Absolutely vile stuff, to the point that I've never let my fiancée be anywhere near it. It's baaad. It also has some strategic uses, like getting a TSA pat down. "Eh, excuse me..I have GI problems." Pat down averted.

"There's good food, and for everything else, there's ketchup."
We had that saying when I worked at the arena. And it was generally true.
 
OK, since urine & chemistry were mentioned, here's my story;

After I had graduated college with MS in Materials Engineering, I started looking for work.
There was a temp agency locally that specialized in tech / engineering placements, so I got set up with them.
First gig was a dental supply company that was coming out with a new chair; they wanted an improvement over the existing chair fabric (basic vinyl), but they wanted to make sure the candidate material they were considering would hold up to the demands of the dental industry; they needed to test it thoroughly.
Wonderful little project for me, they didn't tell me how to evaluate the candidate fabric at all, they just gave me free rein.

So I went around the offices & shop floor, getting info about the existing systems, problems, and concerns. I settled on doing four different test series on A) the existing vinyl chair material, B) the candidate material, and C) a dental-equipment competitors 'premium' material; on all of the commercially-available colors for each fabric.

1) Abrasion (Dry, and Wet - i.e. cleaning with disinfectants over the long term) - Straightforward; the company already had mechanical engineers and a full-time chemist, so I did have support. They were just too busy to go off the tangent we needed to explore here.

2) UV fading - I purchased high-UV bulbs and set up an accelerated-testing rig with all the available colors, each swatch half-obscured.

3) Tearing / punctures - Straightforward mechanical testing setups

But the most fun was:

4) Clothing / dye transfer. One of the concerns were patients wearing new denim jeans, having to sit in the chair for a long procedure, and sweat causing the blue denim dye to transfer & stain the chair fabric. The dental equipment company already had an environmental test chamber - with controls for temperature and humidity - so we were set.

We just needed sweat - synthetic human sweat. A lot of it; I had many fabric samples to test, types and colors.

It turns out that human sweat has a very similar chemistry to human urine. Then I just needed to order the chemicals to make synthetic urine, easy peasy.

Brewed up one liter of urine. I still remember walking around the labs showing off my large Erlenmeyer flask of one liter of synthetic human urine, for amusement. People could evaluate it via olfactory methods - we were scientists & engineers, after all. :-)
41qHeviuHOL.jpg


24 hours in the test chamber for each of the fabrics, mated to a swatch of new blue denim material, moistened with a specific amount of "sweat", and under modest applied pressure.

The other neat part was at the conclusion of the test, the denim swatches all smelled like sweaty jeans, lol.
 
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OK, since urine & chemistry were mentioned, here's my story;

After I had graduated college with MS in Materials Engineering, I started looking for work.
There was a temp agency locally that specialized in tech / engineering placements, so I got set up with them.
First gig, it was a dental supply company that was coming out with a new chair; they wanted an improvement over the existing chair fabric (basic vinyl), but being a very conservative company, they wanted to make sure the candidate material they were thinking about would hold up to the demands of the dental industry; they needed to test it.
Wonderful little project for me, they didn't tell me how to evaluate the candidate fabric at all, they just gave me free rein.

So I went around the offices & shop floor, getting info about the existing systems & concerns. I settled on doing four tests on a) the existing material, b) the candidate material, and c) a competitors 'premium' material

1) Abrasion (wet, and dry) - Straightforward; the company already had mechanical engineers and a full-time chemist, so I did have support. They were just too busy to go off the tangent we needed to explore here.

2) UV fading - I purchased high-UV bulbs and set up an accelerated-testing rig with all the available colors, each swatch half-obscured.

3) Tearing / mechanical testing - straightforward test setup

But the most fun was:

4) Clothing / dye transfer. One of the concerns was people wearing new denim jeans, having to sit in the chair for a long procedure, and sweat causing the blue dye to transfer & stain the chair fabric. The dental equipment company already had an environmental test chamber - controlled for temperature and humidity - so we were set.

We just needed sweat - synthetic human sweat. A lot of it; I had many fabric samples to test, types and colors.

It turns out that human sweat has a very similar chemistry to human urine. Now I just needed the chemicals to make synthetic urine, easy peasy.

Brewed up one liter of urine. I still remember walking around the labs showing off my large Erlenmeyer flask of synthetic human urine for amusement. :-)

24 hours in the test chamber for each of the fabrics, under modest applied pressure, moistened with a specific amount of "sweat".

The other neat part is at the conclusion of the test, the samples smelled like sweaty jeans, lol.
"STOP PEEING ON ME!"

"I CAN'T HELP IT, IT PUTS THE PEE FROM ITS SKIN!"
 
We just needed sweat - synthetic human sweat. A lot of it; I had many fabric samples to test, types and colors.

It turns out that human sweat has a very similar chemistry to human urine. Then I just needed to order the chemicals to make synthetic urine, easy peasy.

Brewed up one liter of urine. I still remember walking around the labs showing off my large Erlenmeyer flask of ...

Ah. Imagine 30yrs later. I can hear it now.

Her: "Honey, you brewing up the tea yet? Honey ...?"
Him: "Yeah, in just a minute. The brewing machine needed ... uh ... a good cleaning, first."

Gotta love engineers. 🤣
 
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