there are some Jokes

[Hooked on Fenix]

Today's thought: Why do the number pads at drive-up ATMs have braille on them?

So blind drivers can get their money. After all the DEI hires at the DMV over the last four years, they don't discriminate against people with disabilities. What you should try is walking in the bank wearing a pair of shades and ask why the drive-up ATMs don't have dog poop collection bags for your seeing eye dog.

 

[bluflaam777]

When you fart in public, yell "Jet power!" and walk faster.

 

[PhotonWrangler]

 

[Monocrom]

Ha! Found the display shelves I was looking for!

 

[bluflaam777]

When the light is red, I feel like I'm breaking a law for some reason.

 

[dc38]

I thought memorizing the first 9 or 10 decimal places was good enough. For some reason I memorized that much in boy scouts. I can't remember why. I've only used it to the first 4 digit places in metal shop. Not that we actually needed to. The machines did all the calculations. But we had to know how to math it out.

Then quickly forgot it.

With quantum flux, you must be precise to the order of infinity. Enter Pi.

 

[dc38]

When you fart in public, yell "Jet power!" and walk faster.

I used to do that in middle school lol...if someone did that now, others would cry sexual assualt because the fecal particles exited your bunghole and into their face holes without their consent.

 

[bluflaam777]

I used to do that in middle school lol...if someone did that now, others would cry sexual assualt because the fecal particles exited your bunghole and into their face holes without their consent.

Let 'em eat cake I say LOL

 

[russprechtl]

A man walks into a convenience store, smiling ear-to-ear. The lady at the counter asks, “What are you smiling so widely about?” “T.G.I.F.”, the man says. “What is that?” asks the lady. “Thank God it’s Friday”, the man says. The lady starts shaking her head and says, “S.H.I.T.”. “What do you mean?”, asks the man.

“Sorry honey, it’s Thursday!”

 

[Monocrom]

After the slap, I genuinely became surprised that no one started calling Will Smith, Will Simp. He laughed at that joke! Looked over at his Pretend-Wife (since they were together in name only at that point but no one else knew that fact), saw she was upset, so he acted upset.

Edit: Clarification.

 

[PhotonWrangler]

Apparently it's considered rude to poke someone in the forehead and say "Skip intro" when they start talking.

 

[dc38]

Apparently it's considered rude to poke someone in the forehead and say "Skip intro" when they start talking.

Oddly enough, I've also done this. Are we like, kindred spirits or something?

 

[dc38]

After the slap, I genuinely became surprised that no one started calling Will Smith, Will Simp. He laughed at that joke! Looked over at his Pretend-Wife (since they were together in name only at that point but no one else knew that fact), saw she was upset, so he acted upset.

Edit: Clarification.

To some extent, every man should be a simp to his wife...

 

[Monocrom]

To some extent, every man should be a simp to his wife...

But.... She wasn't his wife. They were just playing pretend.

 

[dc38]

But.... She wasn't his wife. They were just playing pretend.

Yeah...he either really loves her, or she's got something on him. By the way he acts, and seems to be bipolarish around her, I think it's a combination of the two. I don't know what kind of agreement they have, but they are two consenting adults...I do hope they can work out their unhealthy relationship before Will tries to RIP himself.

 

[Monocrom]

Everything she's done to him, including international humiliation in front of literally millions upon millions of people, when she cheated on him and then interviewed him about it.... Oh! He needs to leave her. Only way he's going to regain his sanity. What she did, no; she doesn't belong in the streets. She belongs in the gutter.

 

[dc38]

Everything she's done to him, including international humiliation in front of literally millions upon millions of people, when she cheated on him and then interviewed him about it.... Oh! He needs to leave her. Only way he's going to regain his sanity. What she did, no; she doesn't belong in the streets. She belongs in the gutter.

There doesn't seem to be much remorse on her end, but for other unrelated reasons, I belong in the gutter right there along side her. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, people have been hurt because of me. While I can understand and live in the whole gray scale of human morality, I SEE the world in black and white.

P.s., we should be getting back to jokes...

Jada's maiden name should be changed to pinky, because she looks more and more like a pinky toe.

 

[bluflaam777]

IMO, if they work it out, then they work it out. It's their relationship to live.

If I were to say anything critical, and it appears most think this way, I would want a healthy relationship. Healthy for me, my partner, and children. Everyone benefits from knowing, seeking and working towards that goal.

I say 'working towards' because I'm not perfect, nor is my partner/spouse. (we're heuwmahn) The relationship will be continually evolving, growing.
That starts with being honest.

 

[bluflaam777]

Jada's maiden name should be changed to pinky, because she looks more and more like a pinky toe.

That reminded me of pinky and the brain

 

[russprechtl]

That reminded me of pinky and the brain

The same thing we do every night. Try to take over the world!