Wife not to happy with me

[Fallingwater]

True that. I hope you didn't take it as an offense, BTW... it wasn't meant to be one.

 

[ttran97]

True that. I hope you didn't take it as an offense, BTW... it wasn't meant to be one.

Nah, none taken. For what it's worth, most of the lights were bought spread over many years and were bought heavily discounted since I used to work for a well-known SF dealer. hehe.

Now, $2000 for Hannah Montana tickets....that's a whole different story! (I didn't buy...just heard on the news. I didn't even know who the heck she was!)

 

[Rzr800]

I have recently tried to update our 21st century flashlight needs by going with a couple AAAs (LOD Q4/Tiablo A1); two AA's (Infinities) as well as chargers for both Eneloops and Li-Ions. This assault on the budget has not made the wife skip a beat; yet she's smart enough to recognize what we need and what we don't...so I choose not to push it. (kind of did so with the Spear now on its way...but hey, that's just between us fellow flashaholics and certainly well within the guidelines of any 12 step rehabilitation program....).

 

[TITAN1833]

I have recently tried to update our 21st century flashlight needs by going with a couple AAAs (LOD Q4/Tiablo A1); two AA's (Infinities) as well as chargers for both Eneloops and Li-Ions. This assault on the budget has not made the wife skip a beat; yet she's smart enough to recognize what we need and what we don't...so I choose not to push it. (kind of did so with the Spear now on its way...but hey, that's just between us fellow flashaholics and certainly well within the guidelines of any 12 step rehabilitation program....).

I knew I was doing something wrong..I step backwards.:whoopin:

 

[Rzr800]

I knew I was doing something wrong..I step backwards.:whoopin:

After an M6 purchase last year and a new side-by-side (my other passion) in '07...believe me, I'll be "stepping backwards" for the next decade or so assuredly (I am a very lucky man indeed to have her by my side).

 

[junkfms]

We do give gifts to each other, of course, and we ask each other for opinions and advice, and I would help her economically if need be just as she would me, but the words "can I buy (insert name of object of desire here)?" have never been pronounced in our relationship and never will be.

That's great!:thumbsup: It's all about having an agreement in the first place right?

 

[Grateful Ned]

The holidays have helped me with this problem. My wife and I know have friends, relatives, martial arts instructors, etc who will enjoy good lights, so I've just offered to help buy gifts this year.

So I get the fun of choosing and buying some lights, and with all these lights coming and going, she may not notice that one or two of 'em never get wrapped...

 

[leukos]

It is hard to comment on these situations because the dynamic varies so much from household to household. On this forum we have scenarios of single wage earner or double wage earners, married and unmarried, children and no children, large amounts of discretionary income while some folks are at a subsistence level, in some homes either the wife or the husband primarily handle the finances, in some it is shared or the accounts are separate, and for some the argument over spending on hobbies is just a symptom of deeper underlying marital problems, there may be serious problems such as addictions or sometimes coping mechanisms deleveloped from long-ignored problems surfacing in the form of retail therapy (or uncontrolled spending on hobbies). Seriously, if your participation in this hobby is causing marital problems, then take a step back and see if there is a deeper issue in the relationship that is unaddressed, or get a professional counselor to try to help sort it out.

For my situation, I had some resistance from my wife in the earlier years of getting in to this hobby and I believe it was due to my selfishness (spending more of our resources and time on me than on us). I have since found a good balance by being equally generous with what I purchase for my wife compared with what I might ever purchase for myself. Things that she enjoys, clothing, crafts, kitchen related items, I try to buy her just what she wants (or even convice her to get the better one, or buy both!). Another thing is that when I sell one of my flashlights, the money goes into her paypal account. It shows her that I'm not just looking out for myself. In the same way, I've noticed that I was spending more time online in a given day than with her. I was out of balance. Since then, she has actually developed some online hobbies and spends an equivalent amount of time in front of the computer as I do, and then we try to spend the rest of the evening together. We have relative domestic peace, and I think a big part of that equation was realizing at first that I was being selfish.

 

[dano101]

My wife seems to be ok with it... as long as i stay cheap with everything else... If i was a Wedgewood China and flashlight aficionado she might have a problem with it. And although this may heve been mentioned before... Im allowed to have 1 flashlight for every possible need and curcumstance (because who knows if i might need to have a flashlight waterproof to 1000 feet and another one that can be used for tactical purposes) all within the same hour, as long as she is able to have a pair of shoes for every conceiveable circumstance or event.