That's a weird way to find out you have a wife. :LOL:
there are some Jokes
- Thread starter qcgoods2006
- Start date
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick. :yellowlaugh:
A brick. :yellowlaugh:
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
What's slow, loud and wet and starts with an F and ends with a K?
A firetruck!
A firetruck!
Well, fork me over and call me Sally.
A blonde is driving down the road when she spots another blonde in a rowboat in the middle of a cornfield. The blonde in the boat is rowing furiously. The driver pulls over, gets out, walks to the edge of the road, and yells, "You know, it's people like you who give all of us a bad name. People make fun of us for being dumb. If I could, I'd swim out there and kick your butt!"
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
Hooked on Fenix
Flashlight Enthusiast
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2007
- Messages
- 3,735
Staples
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
Did ya hear about nurse Anna Sthesia? They say she's a real knockout
Hooked on Fenix
Flashlight Enthusiast
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2007
- Messages
- 3,735
Early retirement
Mr. Fenton was not happy with his nighttime maintenance job at Walmart so decided to send in his resignation in the most spectacular way possible on the last day of work after giving two weeks notice he was quitting.
He quickly got a letter back in response:
Dear Mr. Fenton,
On your last day of employment, April 1, we found many strange irregularities throughout the Walmart after your shift we believe you may be responsible for. Here is the list:
In the women's restroom we found:
1.Tuna fish sandwiches in the wax paper trash bags.
2. On the counter was a picture drawn of Pinocchio with several pocket pads lined up across the counter with nothing but a long nose drawn on them. However, when the pads got wet, it resembled a large *****.
In the men's restroom we found:
3. The delimer tablets in the urinals were replaced with after dinner mints.
4. On the counter was a picture drawn of an owl with the eyes made from pocket pads that expand when wet. They were correctly placed under the soap dispensers, but as they expanded they looked like large breasts.
5. In the stalls was written in sharpie, "For a good time, play Carlie Rae Jepsen."
6. In both men's and women's restrooms we found a placard above the fold up baby changing table that read "USPS Overnight Depository".
7. In the gender neutral children's section we found a rainbow colored chalk outline of the body of a child along with a pair of scissors with ketchup on them and a Vienna sausage dipped in ketchup nearby.
8. In sporting goods, the fishing rods each had a dead fish at the end of the the line.
9. In the back where supplies are kept, on the boxes of toilet seat covers, under the warning "Do not open with knife" was written " Use telekinesis".
10. In the garden section were placed fake packets of "pizza seeds".
As of now, you are banned from entering Walmart. That is all. Goodbye and thank you for f'ing up Walmart.
Mr. Fenton was not happy with his nighttime maintenance job at Walmart so decided to send in his resignation in the most spectacular way possible on the last day of work after giving two weeks notice he was quitting.
He quickly got a letter back in response:
Dear Mr. Fenton,
On your last day of employment, April 1, we found many strange irregularities throughout the Walmart after your shift we believe you may be responsible for. Here is the list:
In the women's restroom we found:
1.Tuna fish sandwiches in the wax paper trash bags.
2. On the counter was a picture drawn of Pinocchio with several pocket pads lined up across the counter with nothing but a long nose drawn on them. However, when the pads got wet, it resembled a large *****.
In the men's restroom we found:
3. The delimer tablets in the urinals were replaced with after dinner mints.
4. On the counter was a picture drawn of an owl with the eyes made from pocket pads that expand when wet. They were correctly placed under the soap dispensers, but as they expanded they looked like large breasts.
5. In the stalls was written in sharpie, "For a good time, play Carlie Rae Jepsen."
6. In both men's and women's restrooms we found a placard above the fold up baby changing table that read "USPS Overnight Depository".
7. In the gender neutral children's section we found a rainbow colored chalk outline of the body of a child along with a pair of scissors with ketchup on them and a Vienna sausage dipped in ketchup nearby.
8. In sporting goods, the fishing rods each had a dead fish at the end of the the line.
9. In the back where supplies are kept, on the boxes of toilet seat covers, under the warning "Do not open with knife" was written " Use telekinesis".
10. In the garden section were placed fake packets of "pizza seeds".
As of now, you are banned from entering Walmart. That is all. Goodbye and thank you for f'ing up Walmart.
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
I was reading an article on Butterworth filters and now I have an odd craving for waffles.
That actually reminded me.... I have waffles sitting in the freezer that I forgot about since early Saturday.
It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize... there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
IMA SOL MAN
Flashlight Enthusiast
All dogs are sons of bitches.
That's why they're man's best friend
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
Yes, but in a good way, before us humans ruined the meaning of the term. ;)
If you were around in the 70s, you will appreciate this one. :grin2:
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
Yeah, those cars should've had air bags for their rear bumpers.
