georget98 -
Brava!
That really helped me to piece together something that has been a bit of a puzzlement to me for some time.
Two years ago I posted a review about a ModMan's light that eerily parallels your experience. My apologies to the greybeards that had to endure this fumblesome review once already. However, I feel an obligation to newer members to alert them to the true nature of the majority of the ModMen that inhabit this board. This also explains why I don't leave tasty confections or sugary treats uncovered and lying about the kitchen.
Sad LGI (a.k.a. LongGunIllumintor) Micro-mini Review
After what seemed like years of trying, I finally got a confirmation on a PO submitted by my bot program for the much sought after LGI.
The package arrived yesterday at my office. I thought I might be mistaken in my perception that the package had no weight so I measure it on a postal meter and got a negative .05 reading. In other words, it seemed to register negative gravity. Must be a calibration problem with the machine.
I went ahead and opened the package and, sure enough, there was an LGI inside.
Upon inspection, I noticed that it had a strange reflector that I had to see by it self. When I took it out I was astonished to find that there was no reflective material on the conical shaped, clear jewel. I was concerned. How could this thing reflect without reflective material? I still don't know.
Proceeding further I retrieved the three, somewhat used, Titanium AAs I had stashed in my brief case the day before and loaded up the LGI. Only looking for a good light for rendition in close up work and maybe some late night walking excursions through the forest; I wasn't expecting much. I aimed the wand under my desk and clicked the tailcap switch and… buumph. A wimpy whitish baby-blue light meagerly flopped onto the carpet. Could I have over estimated how the LGI might be able perform? Apparently so.
It was the end of the day and I was somewhat dejected. I shuffled myself out to my truck. At least I had the Leonid meteor shower to look forward too. Oh yeah, and that Walgreen's battery sale. I went to Walgreen's, stripped the AA s from the display, purchased them along with other various goods and returned to the truck. Well, you know I had to, so I loaded up the sad little LGI with the drugstore batteries. I hit the tailcap switch and KAPOW! The truck was filled with beautiful white light. It was like there were 11 full moons shining into the interior. The light did not make me squint. It was pleasing. It brought out details that were captivating. I could see the structure of every fleck of uninvited grit in the truck. Dust could be seen on everything in my recently detailed vehicle.
Hours went by as I shown the ultra-moonbeam on anything and everything I came across. Before I knew it, it was time to go to the country to observe the meteors.
Cruising into the Ouachita National Forest to a higher elevation would enhance the viewing. My anticipation was great as I thought about the falling stars I was about to see. I arrived at my observation 'mountain', parked and got out of the truck. The temperature was unseasonably warm, about 55 degrees. The smell of fresh-fallen leaves, pine needles and clear air had settled gently. Nobody for miles. Yes.
Grabbing my pack, I began to slowly hike into the woods that surround this 1500-ft., flattop ridge. As I shown the LGI before me I was enthralled with how it brought out the colors of the still autumn hued leaves. Walking more slowly than usual I took in detailed sites I had never seen at night before. Large spider webs had still residents sparkling their eyes back at me. Bugs of all types became evident in the amazing light. An armadillo glared at me with the same color of my light. More and more critters let themselves be seen in the stunning, alien beam.
Continuing for a couple of hundred yards, I began to ascend the ridge. It was great. Alone, miles from civilization trekking with an amazing light leading the way. Then I heard it; the sickly sound of a low toned, bellowing creature. There are black bear and puma in these woods. I patted for my pistol and it was there at the ready. "OK, I'm cool. I've been here before." Then the creature painfully wailed a warning sound. I did not know that sound but it had an odd familiarity to it. I did not like it. What was this strange beast? What did it look like? I don't believe in the Fouke Monster or tales of migrating Bigfoots. Still, I began to carefully back off. I decided it would be best to get back to the truck. As I moved through the forest I would occasionally check behind me to where the creature had screamed. I did not see or hear any further signs.
I was happy to have the LGI with me as I retraced my steps. I started to notice even more plants. Many of these plants I could not identify. Some of the flora was flowering with wildly colorful iris or orchid-like fruition. I continued toward the safety of the truck. The plants became thicker. I began to think I might be lost. I wasn't lost. I thought, "I recognize these old-growth hardwoods." A few of the plants had pods. Some of them had very large pods. A few had large Venus fly trap appendages. I think some of them were moving. My pace quickened. My heart rate increased. More and more of the plants seemed to be moving. I began to see a pattern. Everywhere I had previously shown the LGI had profuse, unidentifiable growth. I think some of them were looking at me.
I was so glad to finally see my truck. As I approached it most of the shock had subsided. Whew. "Man, that was strange." I got my coffee thermos, poured a cup and sipped while I smoked a cigarette…admittedly trembling a little. With my LGI lying on the truck bed cover protectively shining back to the woods; I relaxed. Finally, I saw the first one. A pea sized meteor streaked across the sky. Then another and another; then three at the same time. My LGI scooted a little bit across the hard truck bed cover. Not rolled, scooted, tailcap first. With some effort, I returned it to its' place.
The show was on. More and more meteors scorched the ionosphere…three at a time, seven at a time. "Wow!" a multi-colored one. "Whoah!" a slow moving one leaving a vapor trail. The LGI rattled a little and moved forward on the tanua cover without marring the finish of the black truck. With some force, I placed it back where I wanted it. I poured a little more coffee.
The spectral event above me was entrancing. Hundreds of blue-white tracers were showering the skies. "Oh My!" two meteors changing colors, side-by-side. One of them stopped and glowed brighter. It seemed to be about 15 miles out at around angles 17,000. Now two blues and a green showed up in the eastern sky and hovered. The LGI wiggled its' way across the truck and stopped. I tried to replace it and could not. It seemed to have some kind of magnetic force. I didn't really concern myself with it. The meteors were streaking and hovering and making close passes. It was unbelievable!
Then, the wildest thing happened. The LGI began to rattle and then dance on the truck. I grabbed it but it was too strong. It had a photonic propulsion force that was incredible. It seemed to know what it wanted to do and had I held on it would have carried me with it. I let go. It shot into the woods through the plants and then straight up into the sky like a rocket! It grouped up with some of the more colorful awaiting meteors and headed west. As the group began to disappear the show stopped. No more meteors.
The skies went back to normal, except for some disturbing tones. It was a digital bass sound from above and to the west. I recognized it. It was the first five notes from the theme to 'Close Encounters of a Third Kind'. I stood there frozen, absorbed only by stark fear, the aroma of the forest and the remaining dead, still silence. A long moment passed. Finally, echoing from the ridge top, in a baritone voice, the creature bellowed out its' reply: the first five notes from 'Close Encounters'.
In a cloud of dust and flying debris me and my truck plowed out of there, hit the black-top, both of us squealing, and did not slow down until I saw city lights.
Well, you may be wondering what happened to the flashlight. Me too. Though I'm sure I can't afford the shipping charges, I would like it back. I'm a little sad about it. If I don't get it back, well…that's OK too. I have gained more than you might know from the experience. I can now solve complex equations with little effort. I can speak in 37 languages and dialects. I can play most musical instruments and I'm typing this review while I'm asleep on the couch.
Bottom line: If you ever have the opportunity to get an LGI; get one. They are out of this world!
