I might watch the ceremonies, or part of them, if I happen to be up. Truth is after living through it any reminders are painful. I was up late doing work the night before. Then my father wakes me up. He tells me a plane hit the South WTC Tower. At first I thought a Cessna or something similar. Then I watch the footage. It's a freaking airliner, and doing cruising speed besides. I'm thinking instant death for everyone on the plane, plus everyone in the building within a few floors of where it hit. Then a few minutes after another plane hits the North Tower. At that point I think everyone watching knew this wasn't an accident, but a deliberate attack. Then about 35 minutes later they tell us yet another plane has crashed into the Pentagon.
I wrote a report on the WTC in college. I remember the towers were designed to withstand a strike from an airliner going at full speed, so the thought of collapse didn't even enter my mind. I figured they'll eventually get everyone who didn't die out of the towers, then repair the damage. Then right before 10 the South Tower collapses. My parents and I are sitting there in stunned silence. 29 minutes later the North Tower goes. Both times I'm in awe at how big the dust cloud is, basically engulfing all of lower Manhattan.
I later learn about the fourth plane which was fortunately stopped, but at the cost of the lives of everyone on board. The rest of the day is just surreal. Repeats of the planes hitting the towers, the towers collapsing, hurried opinions from experts of terrorism, plus the general dread that this wasn't over. We were wondering what was next. The Empire State Building? The Statue of Liberty? Late that afternoon WTC 7 collapsed, further adding to the feeling of our city literally crumbling around us.
The footage around the towers was like a horror movie after a nuclear holocaust. Dust everywhere, debris, fires, crushed rescue vehicles, etc. The worst part was footage of the towers before they fell. Some of what looked like "debris" falling was people jumping. I can't even fathom how bad things were in the towers if the better choice was to jump 100 floors to certain death.
I didn't sleep for probably 48 hours. I'm thinking this is just the primer. They might unleash nuclear weapons next on NY or one of the other large cities. I couldn't do anything, but I wanted to be awake if the end came.
In the aftermath I searched lists online of possible victims. The name of my neighbor's son came up. Not long after my mother found out from his mother that he was gone. Fortunately, he was the only victim I knew.
I went down there with my mother as soon as they reopened parts of lower Manhattan, roughly two weeks later. As the precession of people made their way closer, there was stunned silence as soon as the remnants of the towers became visible. There was also the smell of smoke and burning flesh. And scars on all the nearby buildings from when the towers fell. When I was a kid we all went to lower Manhattan with my grandparents. My maternal grandfather was fascinated by the towers going up. He took loads of pictures. I never dreamed I'd be around long enough to see them gone.
For many months afterwards I had nightmares. Among them was being in the towers, feeling the floors getting hot, then the feeling of weightlessness when the collapse started. Was it my vivid imagination, or some of the victims sharing their last moments with me? I'll never know. I also had strange dreams where I was inside what I call ghost towers. Sort of like what was left behind after the real towers fell. No people inside, just eerie silence.
I last visited the site in 2018. On account of caring for my mother I can't go down there as often as I might like. I really hate the so-called Freedom Tower. I wish we would have rebuilt the towers as they were, but better reinforced, instead of that awful monument to terrorism with no windows on the bottom floors. The best message we can send to these people is you won't keep us down. You knock it down, we'll rebuild it exactly as it was.
www.galls.com
