This is the only thing you should focus on...
This side thought process of self-defeat becomes very easily attained, but since reality brings enough difficulties with it, you don't need to focus any energy at all to the negatives. You had a total of 9 lights spoken for initially; just keep going.
It seemed much more difficult when I first broached the subject with Henry, but a year later I brought it up again. The threads showed very minor interest in paying up for the titanium Rotary, but once it started looking like a reality and a few key players got Hogo on board with it, it just picked up steam on its own after that and went all out of control (in a good way), and even my impossible wish of a bronze light became reality.
So, don't give up.