At the farm, our dobermans used to go for a run each morning, making the rounds of other people's property. Neighbors said they were welcome because they were remarkably well behaved. They behaved because they were socialized, which meant they had learned confidence and human morals. Walking a dog on a leash with a choke chain is a good way to socialize a dog. A leash gives a dog confidence and lets the owner get its attention with a tug. (The choke chain was invented to distribute pressure, not to choke.)
When I was 3, I had to attend nursery school. I hated it. It was 15 kids in a room together, each in solitary confinement. Normally, kids eagerly make friends, but the presence of the guard (not the same young woman every day) intimidated us from speaking. If you can't speak, you can't make friends. Nobody even knew anybody's name.
One morning I hit a boy on the side of the head with a block. He cried. At the other end of the room (away from the kids), the guard looked up, looked at a list, shouted my name in a condemning tone, and returned to what she was doing. That was the only time I heard anyone's name spoken, and she'd mispronounced it.
That's the only time in my life I remember hitting anyone. He stopped crying immediately, as I'd expected. I hadn't been angry. Without a word to me, someone I didn't know was moving in and taking some of the few blocks I was using. Neither of us was socialized. Like an unsocialized dog, I handled the threatening situation as best I could.
In the neighborhood where I lived until I was 9, there were only nine times when anyone spoke to me. The couple next door, old enough to be my grandparents, were the exception. They would say hello in passing. I felt like Casper the Ghost, with everybody pretending I was invisible. Boys seemed to be kept socially isolated, while all the girls in the neighborhood ran around as a gang.
It goes back to Catharine Beecher from Litchfield, CT, born in 1800. From 10 to 15, she attended a girls' school. This qualified her to teach at her own girls' school in her 20s. Later, when public education became mandatory, teachers were almost all male. She said all the jobs should be given to women as affirmative action. She said teaching was child care, and women were naturally better. She said men were no good at instilling character.
Women are better at caring for children up to 2, but that's a master-slave relationship. The "Father Knows Best" TV series showed how the understanding of fathers can be important as kids grow. Jane Wyman was threatened by change from established roles, while Robert Young could see the need to evolve.
As for instilling character, Adolph Hitler announced his intention to retire when he got out of prison in 1923. Meanwhile, fascists in Germany and Italy had discovered the power of the nazi salute. Hitler was slow to catch on. He's hold his hand vertically beside his ear and say, "Hi!"
Hitler's voter base were women, and that salute turned their children into ardent fascists. German fascists claimed the salute was historically German, and Italian faschists claimed it was Italian. No precedent has been found. They were copying America, where from 1892 to 1942, American children were ordered to render that salute as they pledged allegiance to the flag each morning.
With the special salute, the pledge sold tens of thousands of flags for classrooms. The writer didn't name a country because he hoped to repeat his marketing success in other countries. That didn't work out. No other country had turned elementary education over to women, and no other country was so tyrannical as to make children pledge allegiance. Was that the character building Beecher had in mind?
Female teachers tended to prefer girls. The mothers in my neighborhood, having gone through such schools, apparently felt that boys should be ostracized as bad influences, and the fathers and children went along with it.
Kindergarten was worse than nursery: sit still and shut up. First grade was a whole new experience. We'd arrive early and choose sides to play while we waited outside. Two boys assumed leadership because they supported each other. They made a third boy a leader because they disliked him. They'd choose up sides. I was always the last one chosen.
I knew why they didn't like me. They were looking for followers, and I was treacherous. All the boys who weren't leaders would start switching to my side. As the other side dwindled, I'd have to switch sides to keep the game going. Making friends can be different from being a self-appointed leader.
It was before school that I got socialized. Without the intimidating presence of teachers, kids could interact candidly and make friends. Unfortunately, schools were becoming increasingly centralized to provide mor administrative positions. Kids who couldn't walk to schoiol probably didn't get a chance to socialize. A few years ago I read about a local high-school girl who got into trouble because came to school in a coat she wore at work, and in the pocket was a box cutter she used at work. Punishing a girl for possession of a box cutter is like ruling that all dogs must have their teeth pulled. From second through twelfth grade, I carried a knife as sharp as I could get it. I don't know and didn't care how many others had blades. They were tools. We wouldn't have dreamed of harming or threatening anyone because we were socialized.
Facebook use is associated with mass murders. It's bad for mental health. It's like school. You can't say anything to anybody without putting on a show for critics. Naturally, this produces anxiety.
In January of 1976, when I was 28, I began getting accused of one thing after another. Some cops were clearly embarrassed. I'd never had a cop accuse me of anything before. Something had changed. Boomers who had never been socialized were moving into management in law enforcement, the news media, and other areas.
Some have called me the community watch because I like to walk around the area at all hours. If I turned on a light, I'd shine it at the pavement so identification could be mutual. If the guy who was arrested was shining his light into a car, it sounds as if he was pretending he owned the street. That attitude is common if you're not socialized.
