there are some Jokes
- Thread starter qcgoods2006
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raggie33
*the raggedier*
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2003
- Messages
- 13,739
98 % of Harleys sold are still on the road.. the other 2 % made it home
A friend of mine calls them Harley-Wobblesons. 😁
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
Harleys don't leak oil - they just mark their territory.
"You meet the nicest people on a Honda."
Not sure how since they never break down, therefore no one stops to help you fix your bike. 😁
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
buckyball
Newly Enlightened
Two Irish pilots were attempting to land their jet...
but the runway was the shortest they had ever landed on!
Paddy, the chief pilot, slammed on the brakes the minute they hit the runway.
The plane skidded, the brakes squealed, and the two pilots fought desperately with the controls until the jet finally came to a stop just before the end of the runway.
"Jaysus Seamus" said Paddy to his copilot.
"That was close! They really need to make this runway longer, we nearly went off the end!"
"Yeah, but Paddy" Said the copilot.
"Look at how WIDE it is".
but the runway was the shortest they had ever landed on!
Paddy, the chief pilot, slammed on the brakes the minute they hit the runway.
The plane skidded, the brakes squealed, and the two pilots fought desperately with the controls until the jet finally came to a stop just before the end of the runway.
"Jaysus Seamus" said Paddy to his copilot.
"That was close! They really need to make this runway longer, we nearly went off the end!"
"Yeah, but Paddy" Said the copilot.
"Look at how WIDE it is".
Ivy League Grads Slip Below County Fair Carnies On Forbes List Of Most Desirable Employee Candidates.
Well, what are you going to do with an employee who graduated with a Liberal Arts degree, and spent much of their free time protesting and being outraged. At least Carnie folks have work experience. 😉
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
What kind of aftershave do electricians use?
Old Splice.
Old Splice.
Law
Newly Enlightened
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana, and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale".
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so… I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running… But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed.
He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard."
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so… I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running… But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed.
He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard."
Law
Newly Enlightened
When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
