there are some Jokes

[StarHalo]

 

[Chauncey Gardiner]

HA! I watched it way more times than I should have. Duhaaaa :laughing:

~ Too embarrassed to sign my name.

 

[StarHalo]

 

[Chauncey Gardiner]

He just went out for a plate of spaghetti.

~ Chance

 

[Monocrom]

LOL !!!!

That's the funniest thing I've seen all day. (I work nights. So yeah....)

 

[inetdog]

Proof of life from the kitnappers?

 

[wojtek_pl]

http://www.owl232.net/hist.htm

The World According to Student Bloopers
Richard Lederer
St. Paul's School

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers .................. (Remainder of copyrighted material may be found in the links above and below)

Old place can be found in Archive https://web.archive.org/web/20120118090200/http://home.sprynet.com/~owl1/hist.htm

 

[Burgess]

I would tell you a joke about Jonestown . . . . .




But the punchline is too long !





< cue the rimshot . . . . >

 

[Chauncey Gardiner]

Prosthetics are so expensive .......

...... They want an arm and a leg for one.

~ Chance

 

[StarHalo]

 

[Monocrom]

I would tell you a joke about Jonestown . . . . .




But the punchline is too long !





< cue the rimshot . . . . >

That joke might get you shot, with a rimfire.

 

[PhotonWrangler]

What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

 

[StarHalo]

Picturing not paying attention and having gravy run down my car windshield..

 

[Chauncey Gardiner]

A joke I just wrote for Rodney Dangerfield.

My wife went to the beauty shop today. The owner took one look at her then payed her to leave.

RIP, Sir.

~ Chance

 

[PhotonWrangler]

Sounds more like a Henny Youngman joke.

 

[Megatrowned]

Hahah! Henry was a hilarious comedian. I love his one liners. "A doctor give a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months."

 

[Monocrom]

Picturing not paying attention and having gravy run down my car windshield..

So you'd prefer having chunky blue cheese run down your windshield, instead??

 

[tex.proud]

So I'm driving down the freeway and I suddenly see the dreaded red and blue lights in my rear view morror.
I took my sweet time pulling over, but finally did.
Officer walks up to my window, and his first question was "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?".
I reply "Yes sir, I do." as I hang my head in shame.
The officer's second question was "Why did you not stop 2 miles back when I first turned on my lights?".
I told him "My wife ran off with an officer last week. I thought maybe you were him, trying to bring her back!".
He laughed all the way back to his unit and left.

Tex.Proud

 

[tex.proud]

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No eye deer.


Q: What do you call a deer with good eyes?
A: A Good eye deer.

Q: What do you call a deer with bad eyes?
A: Bad eye deer.


Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A: Still no eye deer.


I usually tell folks these after, say, someone comes up with a good Idea, and my response is "That's a deer with good eyes!". Looking puzzled, I explain "A Goode eye deer".


You can figure how the others work.

Tex.Proud

 

[Chauncey Gardiner]

So I'm driving down the freeway and I suddenly see the dreaded red and blue lights in my rear view morror.
I took my sweet time pulling over, but finally did.
Officer walks up to my window, and his first question was "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?".
I reply "Yes sir, I do." as I hang my head in shame.
The officer's second question was "Why did you not stop 2 miles back when I first turned on my lights?".
I told him "My wife ran off with an officer last week. I thought maybe you were him, trying to bring her back!".
He laughed all the way back to his unit and left.

Tex.Proud

Hey Tex.Proud,
If that's a true story it's gold! Happy belated Birthday.

~ Chance